Lost In The Dark
by InspiredInTheMoment
Summary: Renesmee, now known as Vanessa Wolfe, has lost not only her family but now Jacob as well. Alone and bitter, she runs into a mysterious yet deadly vampire who is just as lost as she is. Can they overcome their broken pasts once and for all? AU, POST BD.
1. Chapter I: Memoirs

****Disclaimer: We don't own Alec and Renesmee, for reasons we still don't understand. That doesn't mean we can't pretend, though.  
>Happy reading, darlings!<br>-Cee and Tiff {IITM}  
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><p><strong>Lost In The Dark<strong>

**By: InspiredInTheMoment**

**Chapter I: Memoirs **

"_I love you. More than anything."_

"_I love you too, Momma. We'll always be together."_

"_In our hearts we'll always be together. But when the time comes today, you have to leave me. Will you do it for me? Please?"_

_Why?_

"_I can't tell you. But you'll understand soon. I promise."_

I never understood.

That was one promise that my mother couldn't keep, which is saying something, because my mother was amazing. The strongest woman I'll ever know. She understood me like no one else did, protected me when no one else would.

Not even my own father.

Perhaps I'm not telling the story from the correct place; let me start over.

Isabella Cullen was no stronger to things that went bump in the night, even when she was human. _When _she was human, being the key word. There is another species in the world besides human There is another that walks among us, predators that have the instincts of a carnivorous animal.

They have the appearance of a god, the speed as fast as lightning, reflexes that would make your head spin, and strength. A lot of strength; not to mention alluring charm and charisma, which they usually use to entice their prey sexually.

These creatures I speak of are vampires.

My father, Edward Cullen, was a vampire. He and my mom fell in love, while she was still human. Anyone could see the problem there, seeing as she as his singer and all. A singer is a human that especially entices the vampire, and nothing else matters in the world but their blood. However, he got control of it. They had some problems along the way, but in the end, they were happy and decided to get married before turning her into a vampire, something Dad didn't want to do at all.

Turning a human into a vampire is an excruciating process, one that my mom had to go through on top of everything else, like giving birth to me, which I heard was an equally disturbing experience.

See, when I was conceived, my mom was still human. I know, how kinky. When they all discovered she was pregnant, they couldn't believe it. It was unheard of, a vampire creating life. But obviously, all it takes is a male vamp and a female human to get it on and tada:

Mutant baby.

That's what I am, actually. Half human, half vampire. I have the appearance of a vampire, so called miraculous beauty. My skin is pale, like my father, but my eyes are like my mom's when she was human; a dark, chocolate brown. I don't need blood, but I need it, if that makes any sense. I can live off of human food, but I prefer my instinctive diet.

I grew fast back then. Each day I'd grow taller, smarter, faster. I was happy with my life. It was just me, my family and Jacob.

Jacob Black, my everything. Jacob is a werewolf. (Yes, I know. How convenient that those exist too along with vampires.) And the thing with werewolves, they go through this thing called Imprinting. It's when he 'sees' _her. _I guess I'm 'her' because Jake Imprinted on me. It basically means that he's always going to be there for me, and he'll be whatever I need him to be. He really did prove that when he had to take me away from everything I knew and loved to save me.

Save me from whom, one would ask? The Volturi, the largest and most powerful coven of vampires that ever existed. They keep peace and order among the supernatural world, and they're basically royal. They all possess some form of ability and some vampires are gifted with. For example, Dad read minds. Things like that. I was also "gifted" with the ability to project my thoughts into other people's minds if I wish to by touching them.

But I'm getting off track.

The point is, the Volturi thought I was an immortal child, a deadly and sadistic creature. It is absolutely forbidden to change a child into a vampire, no matter the circumstance. The consequences were execution. I was seen, and instantly presumed one of those vile creatures, because of my appearance and abilities. No one understood what I was, because as I said before, it was unheard of.

Long story short: the Volturi came to my town, intending to kill. And kill they did.

My family, my beautiful family…

Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, Jasper…my parents…

They were all dead.

My mother made sure that I was gone before the battle broke out, making Jacob take me and run. When we were fleeing, picturing all their faces in my mind, I knew that I would never see them again. That was confirmed several days later when none of them contacted us. It was just me and Jacob, all alone in the world.

I wasn't one to use the word hate a lot, but I hated the Volturi, I hated all of them. I hated myself even more. Had I not existed at all, my family would be alive and happy. My father would have turned my mom into a vampire out of choice, and not in a life or death situation. They could be traveling the world together, in love and happy.

I wasn't supposed to exist within this world. The world, in return, didn't want me either.

Whatever my parents would tell me, I know better. I was a mistake; an accident, a casualty in a moment of passion. When my mother carried me, I wasn't wanted by anyone else. My own father wanted to get rid of me to save Mom's life.

He was right. It would have saved her. But the complexity of that was there wasn't any way they could have killed me then. I was too strong, too stubborn. Unnatural.

Yes, it was the Volturi's hands which is stained with my family's blood, but if it weren't for my existence, there would have never been any blood shed.

I will never forgive myself for their deaths. Never.

My name is Vanessa Wolfe to the living. She's a young, fresh faced and beautiful young woman on the verge of great things. Life is just her playground, her fairytale.

My name is Renesmee Cullen to the undead. She's an eleven year old being trapped inside a seventeen year old body. Her beauty is deceiving. Everything she touches turns to ash, and life doesn't want her back.

Though I would have never tell any of this to Jacob. I've never let him know how much I really hate myself. He wouldn't understand, anyways. He's blinded by his love for me. He and I never really did the whole romantic thing with our relationship. We started to at one point, really we did. Cuddled and kissed and all that, but it never really felt like it was _us. _I told him that I just wanted to be friends, and surprisingly, he was okay with that. I think he felt the same way about it. It's like we were too connected and bonded to be in love. Too much had happened between us. We were just Jake and Nessie; soul mates, but not lovers.

And that was just fine.

Jacob is Native American, with beautiful copper skin. It was the exact opposite of my deathly pale skin.

But despite that fact, we matched in every other way possible. He was my family, the only family I had left. All my memories of my family, or Forks, all of that rested within Jacob. He reminded me of it everyday.

That is until one final act that completely shredded my world apart.

Up until two years ago, I thought I was happy, at least, as happy as I'd ever let myself be. But it was easy feeling happy with Jake around; he always knew how to make me smile, even when I didn't want to.

I keep replaying that day in my head, letting my mind cover every inch of my memory, hoping to find the missing puzzle piece. It wasn't like a series of strange or disturbing events had let up to that point, it just happened out of nowhere. I had no way of preparing myself for it, because honestly, I never thought it was possible. My head was starting to ache, and I rubbed my temples in exhaustion, going back to that afternoon, once again. I don't even know why I tortured myself like this, I wouldn't get anywhere. But I couldn't help it, and soon it felt like I was right back there. Right back in New Mexico, which was where we'd been living at the time. I was right back in that damn ugly house with bright pink paint, sitting on that damn couch, staring at the damn TV.

"_What's wrong, Nessie? You look tired." Jake commented, plopping himself next to me, spreading his long arm across the back of the couch. _

_I shrugged in response._

"_I'm fine…I was just thinking about…." I sighed in irritation. I was _not _going to feel sorry for myself today. I was not going to cry again. It's been nine years since _it _happened, and I had to stop this brooding crap. "Never mind."_

_I couldn't keep feeling this way; I was sick of feeling this way. Sometimes I wondered how I'd do with some counseling, but then figured that probably wasn't the best of ideas. What would I say to the poor therapist? _

'_Hi, I'm Renes- I mean Vanessa. No, that's not a fake name. I'm nine years old and no, I don't play with Barbies anymore, which may seem weird and all because I'm in fact only nine, but you wouldn't really think that if you knew that I was studying World War II by the time I was a year old. Anyhow, my family was slaughtered because they were only trying to protect me against an evil coven of monsters who drink blood and did I mention I'm only _half_ human? _

_I don't really see how therapy would help me. You have to tell the truth in therapy, and for obvious reasons, I just can't do that. I couldn't very well talk to Jacob about it, because I know he'd just argue with me about how it wasn't my fault. I didn't want to hear it._

_Jacob frowned and reached to grab the remote control, turning off the TV, leaving nothing but silence filling the air._

"_I miss them too…" He said simply, his voice somber. I leaned into his side, resting my head on his shoulder and wrapping my arm around his waist. He pulled me close and into his strong arms, and I fought back tears. _

_Today was one of those days; the days that reminded me that they weren't here and I was never going to see them again. I mean, it's obvious that I already knew this any other day. But sometimes it was just worse than others. Sometimes I could handle it and distract myself, and other times I just couldn't find it in me. All I could think about was their faces…they were so brave, so damn strong. They knew that they were more than likely going to die, and yet they didn't back down. _

_I wish I could be fearless like them, not scared of anything that came my way. They were so amazing, each of them in their own way. Dad, with his ability to read minds and make me feel safe without even doing anything, that smile he'd give me that was impossible not to return. Mom with the warmth in her voice and how happy she made me, her shield she'd figured out she could project, which was pretty badass. Carlisle with his wisdom and knowledge. Esme with her overpowering love that made you feel like you were the center of the universe. Alice with her bubbly and fun personality, always wanting to do something exciting and new. Rosalie and her cat-like mentality, ready to pounce if you gave her crap, but was loyal to the bone and would kick your butt if you messed with her family. Emmett with that big, goofy grin and those lame ass jokes he'd tell me, making me laugh hysterically nonetheless. Jasper and his soothing presence that made you feel right where you needed to be._

_How could I have not missed them? How could I have not blamed myself for their deaths?_

_I felt something wet drop onto my cheek, and realized it was me crying. I wiped it away instantly, hoping Jacob didn't notice._

"_They would have been really proud of you, Nessie…you do know that, right?" I heard him whisper, laced with concern. I nodded to satisfy him, and he squeezed me a bit tighter before getting up off the couch, stretching his arms above his head._

"_Where are you going?"_

"_Work, where else?" He muttered with distaste._

_I frowned. "I thought you had today off…I thought we were gonna' go out and do something fun or something." _

_He gave me an apologetic smile, and my frown deepened. _

"_I got called in. One of the guys who was supposed to go in today got the flu so…what can I do?" He shrugged, and started looking around for his keys like he always did. He never just put them in the same place so he could find them. That was too simple, I guess._

"_Kitchen counter," I mumbled, not hiding my disappointment. It felt like forever since we actually did something fun together. When he wasn't working, I was in school. When I wasn't in school, he was working. When we were both actually here at the house, we were sleeping._

_It was getting old. It's not like I actually needed to go to school, anyways. I already had the knowledge I'd ever need. I didn't want to brag or anything, but I was learning algebra when I was three years old, so…I think I was set for my future. Hell, I could get a job if I wanted._

_Jake laughed at himself and a few moments later we back with the keys in hand. I smirked._

"_What would I do without you?" He joked, and then frowned. "You wouldn't happen to know where my wallet is, too…?"_

_I rolled my eyes._

"_Check your back pocket."_

"_Nessie, it's not there. Don't you think I'd know if it were?""Not the ones you're wearing. The ones from yesterday." _

_He pursed his lips and disappeared, making his way to his room. I heard him curse and I giggled, shaking my head to myself._

_He appeared once again, this time a defeated expression on his face._

"_I'm losing it, Nessie. Seriously, I don't know where I'd be if you weren't here to remind me that I actually have brain inside this shell." He pointed to his head, and I smiled._

"_You wouldn't make it, no doubt." I joked, and he rolled his eyes, his hand on the doorknob now._

"_Nessie, I'm more worried about you making it out alone. You wouldn't last two seconds without me." He said, his voice filled with amusement. I glared at him as a threw a couch pillow at him, which he of course dodged without effort._

"_I'm not that weak, Jacob Black!"_

_He flashed me a white smile as he opened the door._

"_Yeah, you're probably right. See ya' later."_

_I waved him off, now turning back on the TV, and he closed the door. I could hear him laughing even as he made he way to the car. I faintly heard him start the engine, and then him roll out of the driveway and onto the street. _

He didn't come back that night after work.

That was the last time I ever saw him.

I didn't wish him luck at work. I didn't tell him to be careful. I didn't even grant him so much as a damn wave goodbye.

I just let him leave. And he didn't come back.

I had yet again managed to lose the last person that meant something to me. And I couldn't help but wonder if that was my fault as well.

When Jake didn't come back, I didn't know what to think. He was a shape shifter, pretty much untouchable, so what could have happened to him? I went to the garage he worked at, asking if he had come in that night. Apparently he never made it in for work. I filed a missing persons report at the police station, posted pictures around town, hoping something would come up. I even tried tracking him, but I soon realized that my skills in the department were terrible. I was angry, confused, terrified. What happened to Jacob? Did he just decide he'd had enough of me and left? No, he would have never done that. Never. He Imprinted on me, the bond was too strong for that.

The only explanation I came up with was of course the one that I didn't want to believe.

Jacob was dead.

I didn't know how, it seemed impossible. He should have healed, right? I mean, he was a fast healer, and anything that could have happened to him, he should have healed and he should have been okay. But if that were the case, he would have come back to me.

After several months of searching, hoping, waiting…I gave up.

I gave up on everything.

Jake was the only connection I had left to my family, the only person left in the world that loved me and made me strive to be a better person. With him gone, I had no one to impress, I had no one to be good for, I had nothing to strive for. I simply didn't care. I was alone, I was a half vampire, and I let my instincts take over my life, because they were all I had left.

I soon realized after Jake disappeared that there was a hunger inside of me that I had never really satisfied before. I hadn't fed on blood since I was last in Forks, when my family was alive. Jake never let me, said it was too dangerous and risky to feed now. So I had grown accustomed to solid food. But when he left, all I could think about was blood. I found myself hovering in shadows, watching people as they passed by, looking longingly at their necks, watching in fascination as their veins became visible to me. I needed blood to fill me, fill me with something that wasn't completely hollow and dank. Something to make me feel _alive._

I remember the first time I fed on a human…it had been a couple of days after I had finally given up on the thought of Jacob being alive. I was empty inside, consumed by dark whispers that told me to just kill myself and make the pain stop. I almost did take my own life, but then I inhaled the scent of a nearby human. The scent was overpowering, crashing into my life a wave of bricks. I was hypnotized by how it seemed to call to me, and I was hopeless to stop myself. I had been walking around an apartment complex, for reasons I still don't quite know. And I saw her, a woman, walking her dog. It was in the middle of the night, probably around one in the morning or so, and she was just there in the wrong place at the wrong time.

What happened next happened too fast for me really to remember. One minute she was talking to her dog, smiling, and the next she was on the ground, blood smeared on her neck and on my lips. I felt a surge of adrenaline inside of me, and my heart beat too fast for my body to catch up with. The taste was indiscernible, as it still lingered on my tongue. The woman hadn't even screamed…perhaps she was too shocked, or maybe her throat closed up and she simply couldn't. Maybe I had covered her mouth with my hand to muffle the sound. I can't even remember. I just remember staring at the bite mark in fascination, wondering if it was really me who gave it to her. Surely not me…not Renesmee Cullen, not the daughter of Edward and Isabella…they would have been so ashamed of me. They all would have; because I didn't stop after that night. I didn't stop feeding. I needed more, I needed something to make me feel real.

Human life was beginning to mean less and less to me. All their faces looked the same anyways. I told myself it was just part of the food chain. I fed on humans, humans fed on animals, animals fed on other animals who fed on insects. You don't see a tiger mourning over the life it's taken to feed itself, or a shark feeling sorry for the fish. Vampires were predators. And so was I.

Two years had passed since I last saw Jacob. Two years feeling like a ghost in this enormous world…like a speck blowing by the wind's will, helpless to stop the pain inside of me that I had learned to hide from others I passed. I was so good at pretending I was happy, I sometimes fooled myself and began to believe it. I was beautiful. I had the world at my fingertips, I could have anything and anyone I wanted. What I wanted, I got. And if that made me happy, then I should do it. If I had to lie, cheat and steal to get it, then so be it. This was who I am now. This is what I am.

That's what I told myself.. It's what I told myself when I taped that smile to my face. It's what I told myself when I cried myself to sleep. It's what I told myself when I slept with that guy who made me laugh and feel happy for a while.

My beauty and instincts were all I had left and I didn't intend waste them.

It was a Saturday night, and it was New York, and I was in spotlight; the Upper East Side. Spoiled rich kids with no curfew, lots of liquor, designer clothes, diamonds and hard ons.

It was just like an episode of Gossip Girl.

But instead of hitting it up at some night club, I was walking around, window shopping. Well, in so many words. I was browsing, considering what I wanted to steal. It wasn't like I didn't have the money to buy the clothes myself. But considering how the money was also stolen, I just didn't feel right about it.

Okay, I was a kleptomaniac. Sue me! But it was just too easy sometimes, way too easy. And I didn't steal a lot of clothes, just when I needed new stuff. Like tonight, for example…I needed a new bra…and a new pair of thongs…and maybe a couple of other small items.

After walking around Barney's for a while, I had my eye on a black, strapless lace bra. It was sexy, fun, and chic. It was two hundred and twenty-five dollars. It was as good as mine.

After breaking off the security tag off the bra effortlessly like it was a toothpick, without ripping the fabric, I casually cut my eyes around me before slipping the bra into my large purse. I'd done this enough times I could do it in my sleep. I dropped what was left of the broken bits of plastic onto the floor, and started to walk away from the scene of the crime.

I heard a shuffle of feet behind me, and I quickly turned around to see who was behind me. I met the most beautiful pair of blue eyes I had ever seen before in my life. They were so crystal and pure it was as if I could see right through them. It was like looking at the sky or something. Then I noticed a pair of glasses covering them, and a handsome face to match. He was no older that sixteen or so, and was hot in that nerdy sort of way. You could just tell he was a genius.

He looked awkward and very nervous, especially now that I was looking him straight in the eyes. I smiled my million dollar smile, making him blush even further. It never got old watching shy boys do that.

"I- I saw that." He practically choked, his heart rate picking up as I quirked an eyebrow.

"Saw what?" I asked innocently, laughing softly at the way he stared at me. It was as if I was the light at the end of the tunnel or something. I had him in the palm of my hand.

He pointed to my purse, and I sighed.

"Oh," I nodded, my eyes never leaving his. "And now you're going to say something…" I said shamefully, looking down at my feet. I didn't have to be a mind reader to know what was going through his head right now. He was debating on what he should do. "If I put it back now, would you consider just…pretending you never saw anything?"

I peeked up at him angelically through my thick lashes, giving him my puppy dog eyes at their best. But behind all the innocent crap I was displaying for him, I was eye sexing him with everything I had. I made sure to let him see the shift of my eyes from his eyes to his mouth, which was by the way, quite nice to look at. I briefly wondered what it might be like kissing them.

The sad part is, if I wanted to, I'd be able to in a heart beat. He was mine already. I smiled softly, my focus still on his mouth, and I subtly bit down on my bottom lip as if it were an awkward habit. It wasn't. I was always aware of the movements and gestures I made with my body. It was my weapon, after all. I'd trained it in more ways than one.

As I predicted, the Cutie Boy Blue blushed, his cheeks becoming vibrant and rich in a soft red tint. The color was luscious to behold, and in that instant I wanted nothing more than to press my lips against the warmth of his face, close enough to really inhale his scent when it was at its most pulsating. The more his heart rate picked up, the more his blood started to rise to the surface, and the fragrance was enchanting. Everything about this boy was so innocent and yet, beneath the surface, he was raging with something that made my mouth water.

I had to have him.

He chuckled nervously again, running a hand through his hair. As he did so, I saw a vein in his neck stand out prominent. The faint blue line was pulsating beneath his fair complexion, and I bit my tongue, trying to hold composure.

"You know what, this is silly. I shouldn't ask you to do something like that…I'll just-"

"Well, it's not as if none of us haven't done the same thing before…" He interrupted, smiling shyly "I wont tell a soul."

I grinned happily at him, and his eyes lit up like a firework on the fourth.

"I really owe you one…I don't know what I was thinking." I shook my head, laughing as if I were embarrassed. "You probably think I'm horrible.."

He shook his head vigorously.

"No…what I was thinking…is why would someone like you need to? I mean, don't take this the wrong way, but you don't look like you need to steal to get what you want."

_Because stealing what I want is more fun. _

"I don't really even know why…I just…you ever wanted to make someone pay attention?"

"You mean like a parent? You're doing this to get their attention?"

I looked down.

"Sounds pathetic and cliché, right?" I mumbled, shuffling my feet.

"It's not pathetic…" He said, pushing his glasses up awkwardly. It was the cutest thing in the whole world, and even though it was weird to say this, it was kind of sexy. He was smart and actually had a brain inside his scull. It worked.

The sad part was it wouldn't work long. I was walking my path of destruction and he was caught in the middle of the road, waving his scent around wildly, practically begging me to take him for my own. And his sex appeal? It just added to the lust, but it almost made me not want to kill him. There were a lot of men in the world, but very few of them were appealing to me as this one was. Maybe I should preserve the excellent quality for some other girl. Maybe I should be kind hearted and let him live to be old and grey with grandsons who looked just like him that I could later on use for my needs. I'm not going anywhere after all; I have an eternity to live.

Or maybe I could just skip the program and relish in his nice, warm, pulsating neck. One puncture to his carotid artery would fill my every need. I could already taste him on my tongue as he swelled in my mouth, sliding rapidly down my throat, bringing life into my body. By the look of him, I'd be feeling his blood flooding through me for days, lasting well enough until my next feeding.

I couldn't feel sorry for this guy, however good looking he might have been. He was doing me a favor. The only question that lingered in my mind was how did I get him to be my next snack? It's not as if I could straight up ask him to let me drink his blood without him calling the cops, not that they could stop me but I just didn't want to be a wanted fugitive. As it is, I had these things laying on my conscience: Burglary, breaking and entering, murder, sexual harassment in public, indecent exposure…the list could go on for miles. The cops wouldn't be my friends; I don't even think doughnuts would help me out on this matter.

So how was I to go about this plan? As I always did. Use the talents God gave me.

My boobs.

"You know, you're pretty cute." I complimented. The moment I did, I knew the sliver of composure this boy had was drowning in nerves.

He started stuttering more frequently and his hands twitched at his sides whilst his feet shifted beneath him. He was a mess.

"I- um…um- what?"

I reached forward to slide off his glasses slowly, and his body went rigid, his eyes surprised and wide. I brought the spectacles closer to my face to examine them, breathing heavily against the glass which fogged. Cleaning the glasses, I pulled up the hem of my shirt to wipe them delicately with my fingers, rubbing the fog off back and fourth so that he could see. After, I put them back on him; he was still a statue, staring at me with disbelief.

"Better…?" I breathed into his ear, straightening out his collar with my fingers, his scent invading my nose. I closed my eyes, licking my lips, making sure he heard the slow breathing of my mouth. Lingering in the air, I could taste his aroma; sweet and warm.

He was just what the doctor ordered and there was no turning back now.

Mr. Blue Eyes was still made of stone, his eyes looking everywhere but into mine.

"What are you doing later?"

"Well, I- um…I-""Nothing? Perfect…I'm dying to make new friends. I just moved to the city and I'm terribly lonely…maybe you could be of use and keep me company for a while…that is unless you don't want to-"

"YES!" He interrupted, his eyes widening as his outburst, surprising himself. "I mean…yeah, that'd be cool."

"Excellent. How about by the pond in Central Park?" I suggested.

"Hersheys!" A loud and dominant voice spoke clear as day from behind me. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end, and my eyes widened instantly.

_Hersheys._

There was only one person who called me by that name, one person whose name I still to this day didn't know, but I knew the voice at once. I'd known that voice for a while now, because every time I heard it I cringed.

It was his voice.

"Buttercup…there you are. I've been looking absolutely everywhere for you…" Suddenly I was in an unwanted embrace, his arms, hard as stone, wrapping around my belly from behind. I was so shocked by the gesture I was suddenly lost for words, I couldn't even move. His body was lean yet muscular, and it trapped me against his hard chest, his lips near my ear.

"I know what you're doing…" He whispered, his cool breath tickling the warmth of my skin. If I wasn't repulsed by his presence, I might actually like what he was doing. After all, it was sort of a sensual whisper to my ear in a somewhat gentle tone, if he even knew the meaning of the word gentle at all. He was cruel.

I wasn't insulting him just for the sake of it either. He was a cruel bastard. I had only had the displeasure of meeting him twice thus far in a year's time, and this was our third encounter. Needless to say we never got off on the right foot. He made it known the very first time I saw him that he found me to be an idiotic girl who didn't know what she was playing with- oh, and he called me a slut. It was his favorite pet name, besides Hersheys. I once thought that name was endearing, but he dismissed that idea quickly, explaining how Hershey's chocolate was nothing more than a substance that tasted like dirt in his mouth.

I never liked the name since.

"I wish I could say the same-"

"Aw, baby…didn't you miss me too?" He purred, taking my earlobe into his mouth, nibbling on it sensually. I gulped, and realized then my heart was raging like mad inside of my chest. His lips were soft, his teeth sharp and pointed, and it shamefully so, excited me like nothing else in this world.

I didn't know if it was because of the way he was licking my ear or if it was just because he was a guy and I was a girl and naturally my body would react, but I started forgetting where we were and what I was trying to do. We were in Barney's and I was hunting!

Oh no. I was hunting!

I shifted my eyes back in front of me, only to see that the human boy was walking away towards the door, his back turned on us. Instantly, the arms around my waist were gone, and I heard a gagging noise coming from his truly.

"I'm going to throw up," he muttered as I turned around to meet him face to face.

He was something to look at with his dark brown messy hair that seemed to have no sense of direction, his creamy pale complexion, those full lips that spoke nothing but insults at everyone, and his candy apple red eyes that were currently hidden behind contacts. But I knew better, I knew what lay behind those thin films. As savory as they might look being candy apple red and all, as I stated above, they were also the windows to the most incentive, twisted, deformed soul known to man. Even the tone of his voice was sinister and bitter. I'm not going to lie and say he was ugly. He was liquid sex on legs; in fact I could feel my body still responding from his touch, but it was cut short at the reminder of his mental disability. I mean this vampire couldn't even socialize like a normal person.

"What the hell was that!" I snapped, pushing his chest as he still wiped his mouth roughly with the palm of his hand. I guess he was getting sick from his tongue in my ear, but it was him who put it there so I didn't feel at all sorry for him.

"Walk with me."

"I don't want to."

"_Boo…hoo." _With that, he gripped my arm so tightly that I thought he was going to tear it off, and he probably would at the rate he was walking. I could barley keep up, and the only reason I made myself to so was because I really wanted my arm to stay with me.

He always did this though, every time I saw him, or at least every time I came to his precious NYC. It was a known fact that New York City was his playhouse and I wasn't invited to his sandbox. I didn't know much about this guy, but I knew this, he seriously had some attachment issues.

"That was a little dramatic, don't you think, Licorice?"

"No, you've been a real pain in my ass since I met you."

"Aw, want me to kiss and make it better?" I snapped, as he pushed me into his car that I'd learned to recognize and watched him causally as he went around the front, letting himself in. I didn't need to ask where we were going. This always happens. He catches me in the city and he drives me all the way to the city lines. Making sure I leave. He really did hate me, and for what reason I didn't know. I didn't do anything to him. Well, I mean not recently. When I first met him, I was stupid enough to make a pass or two, to which I regret immensely till this day. I had hoped I'd never see him again after last but I've never been that lucky.

"Don't you want to know my excuse this time?"

"I don't care. This is the last time. Stay away from the pond. I don't need you messing up what I have going for me and making my existence known. When we get to the outside of the city, you are to turn around and leave. Do not hunt until you do."

"Is it that time of the month again?" I joked, which received a hateful glare as a response. He really did wake up on the wrong side of the bed.

"I mean it. I don't want to see your face, know your pathetic excuses, and no. I don't want to touch whatever it is you were offering to that loser. I'd rather set my ass on fire than come near you."

"Aw, I'm so glad you missed me." I said, with a fake cheery voice.

He really was something else. It seems like every time I met him, he got meaner and colder than he was the pervious time. As I recall the first time we met it was because he was just simply curious about me. As he had never seen a vampire with a heart beat before. I remember him asking about it and I responded with a snarky comment about him being jealous. He rejected my ass so fast I didn't even know what was happening. Ever since then, I've been on my toes around him. But not enough to where I didn't have any fun.

We were driving passed the speed limit, bringing us to our destination in record time.

"Get out." He hissed, after coming around and opening my door for me, when we came to a stop. I sat completely still. Glaring.

"Or you'll what?"

"I'll kill you," he said, his voice low and deadly.

He grabbed my chin in his hand, his face leaning near mine. I jerked away from his hold on me. I then took it upon myself to gather enough spit and pointed it at his shoes. I smiled spitefully, and I could hear the low growl that erupted deep in his chest. The sound took me off guard, so much so I didn't register what it was he was doing until I felt a hard impact on my ass. Turns out he had thrown me out of the car and I landed on the pavement. I hissed, quickly standing on my two feet again.

"Keep your foul body fluids to yourself," he snarled, his face curled with disgust. I rolled my eyes, not taking anything he said seriously. He didn't like that, I imagine.

"Well then, don't touch me." I said, shifting my weight off my left leg to my right. "By the freaking way, what the hell were you playing at in Barney's?" I sneered, shaking my head. "_Buttercup? Baby?_ Your tongue was in my ear!"

I tried not to remember the way it felt, I really did, but mentioning it out loud was bringing some things back. I hated him, I really did. He was like a troll under a bridge, shooing everyone off. But then he has to go and do that crap to me, make me feel that way? What gave him that right? Not that I really liked it that much, it was my body that did, and I was disgusted with myself for it.

He was not my type at all. My type had blue eyes with glasses and a heart beat that sang sweet lullabies to me! Not red eyes and messy hair with serious need of a comb! Even his clothes needed help. He needed help.

He needed to get laid, that's what he needed, not that I was offering. Even I wasn't going to cross that line. I bet he was a virgin, I'd bet money on it, actually. I couldn't imagine any girl sinking that low into desperation.

"Don't remind me. I'll need to rinse out my mouth with soap for weeks to get the taste out." He replied coldly, his face hard as stone.

"Hey, I didn't ask you take a nibble. I feel dirty now; I need a bath- Wait, I can't do that…" I trailed off, and a realization hit me square in the heart. " My things are back in the city."

I saw a twinkle in his eyes that could only be described as sick satisfaction, but meanwhile, I really was panicking inside. I felt like a ton of weights were compressing down on my chest, and I was finding it difficult to take a breath. Everything was back in NYC. EVERYTHING. All my clothes, all my jewelry and worst of all every picture I had of my family and Jake rested in my hotel room. I had to have them. The very thought of losing those was making my head spin and my chest hurt. I can't handle this. I was beginning to have a panic attack, and black spots were invading my vision. I was literally going to faint, and here he was, enjoying this?

I didn't care if he killed me. I didn't care if I was dead the second I stepped back into the city. I needed those pictures, like I needed air in my lungs and blood in my veins. I was not going to part with them.

It had only took a few steps on the road back towards the city for him to block my way, standing a couple of feet ahead of me.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Oh c'mon, Licorice!" I practically whined, holding my arm out pleadingly.

"That's not my name," he corrected, and I could almost see the brown tints of his contacts starting to melt away, transitioning colors. I stared in awe as the red of his iris' started peeking through.

"Just as Hersheys isn't my name," I quipped, then sighing softly. "Just let me go back and get my stuff, and I promise I wont step into your beloved city ever again. I wont kill anyone while I'm there and no one will know what either of us are, okay?…Okay!"

His eyebrows raised as if I were but a chewed up wad of gum under his shoe. He'd been gracious enough to share that expression to me many times. In fact, it was the first look he had ever given me and I had wanted nothing more than to wipe it off his face.

When he didn't say anything, I took it as a sign. I could convince him, right? I could butter him up and say the right things, just like I could with any other man. He did have balls after all, right? I knew in the past it hadn't worked out, but this was different. I had perfected my game. Even though he was like the most un-seducible person ever, that wouldn't keep me from trying. I had a goal.

"I'm desperate, alright?" I said, taking a step forward. "I will do anything you want."

I could see something flash behind his eyes, some sort of light bulb must have struck him in the head or something. Was this my chance? Was he thinking the same thing I was thinking? Because I meant it when I said I was desperate…okay, so it did sound cheap, but if he was considering it also, I wasn't alone in this.

I took the moment's apparent heat to my advantage, stepping closer to where my body was practically flush with his, his solid frame brushing my chest. I wrapped my arms around his neck, running my fingers through his hair at his nape, and studied his eyes' reaction to what I was doing. His hair was like silk lacing between my fingers; I was surprised at how soft it really was. His eyes bore into mine with intensity, his hands finding my hips, holding me in place. I felt my heart skip a beat as he did, my body beginning to feel like it was floating. I could totally do this, I had this. He wasn't bad, he was just distant, but once you hit the right buttons he switched gears on you.

I was finding the courage to slowly lean towards his mouth, but he beat me to the punch, nearing my lips ever so slowly, his full red and luscious lips. Nerves were jumping all over my body with anticipation. I never really would have guessed how much I had wanted to kiss him, until now, I guess.

"Hersheys…?" He breathed, his lips now only an inch away from mine. I smiled softly. I could certainly learn to like the name, I could even pretend it was a new name of adoration.

I waited anxiously for him to make the next move, whatever that might be. I was practically on my toes, actually, my body alert and ready for battle or whatever it was he was wanting to give me. My heart trembled in my chest as he leaned in even closer, so close I could taste his breath on my tongue. So sweet, like honey…

Slowly closing his eyes, just about to eliminate the space left between us, I saw his face break out into a wide, evil grin. Laughter followed rapidly, and I watched spitefully as his head tipped back, the air now loud with his bellows. At first I was confused, but then it hit me.

I got played.

"You. Asshole." I spat through my teeth, wanting to strangle the laughter out of him. It wasn't just a laugh, it was a mockery. He was town right teasing me, bullying me, even. As if this were the funniest event to ever happen to him.

"You may be that desperate, but I'm not." He said between chuckles, now starting to pace around me. "Were you really going to kiss me for clothes? Oh, what am I saying? Kissing isn't exactly your forte, is it? It can be initiated while fully clothed, after all. Definitely something you are not used to."

I had every urge to slap the crap out of his face, but held myself back on account of my life. I didn't feel like being shot down _and _killed in one night. So, with much struggle, I forced composure on myself, clenching my fists so tightly I thought I might draw blood from my nails.

"Go ahead, make fun of me, get it all out of your system. But I was serious when I said I'd do anything, even though I think it's stupid you wont let me go back real quick and get it. It's just a couple of suit cases!"

"Yes, but it's got a hold on you, obviously. Something of importance stashed away, I suppose." He said casually, still walking around me like a suspect. "And you'd really do anything to get it back in your embrace?"

"Yes."

"I can't hear you.."

"YES!" I yelled angrily, glaring at him. "Name your damn price, already!"

He paused for a moment, contemplating his own actions, what he should do next. Perhaps he was thinking of what he could get out of all of this. Apparently sex wasn't an option, as he clearly found the concept of sleeping with me laughable. And now that I considered it, it really was laughable. What was I thinking? How could I lower myself to him? And to think, I had believed I might have _enjoyed _kissing him! That's the thing that confused me most of all. He was no name, he was Licorice; the troll. He loved one thing, and one thing only: his car. I get it, it was a classic, it was sleek and smooth and a freaking '70 black mustang convertible, but it was just an object. I was a human being (well, half) and I deserved respect just like that stupid slice of metal, which he was now stalking towards to.

"Get in."

I froze, standing on the side of the road, contemplating what to do. Were we going back to the city? Had he thought of his end of the deal? I didn't have much time to think about it, because he was screaming now.

"GET. IN. THE. CAAAR!" He emphasized loudly like I were three years old, or mentally challenged, or both. I jumped at the force of his loud voice, quickly racing to the passenger side, taking my chances.

"So?" I snapped.

He didn't answer me. Instead, he just asked, or rather, demanded to know where I was staying. After giving him the address, he turned the key in the ignition, starting the car. Back to the city we went.

I couldn't express my emotions. I didn't know what to expect or what to fear. I didn't even know his freaking name! All in all, I was partially terrified and partially thrilled. Terrified because he was equipped to kill me any instant with his little finger, and thrilled because…I really had no idea why I was thrilled. But there it was, adrenaline surging through my veins in excitement. I was almost shaking.

"So, what exactly is the payment?" I questioned, and was replied with silence. "Okay, let's start off with something more simple. What's your name?"

He cut his eyes to me in annoyance, and I stared back casually. When once again, he didn't reply, I shook my head.

"I'll start. Hello, my name is Vanessa." I encouraged, smiling a small smile.

He shifted his eyes back to the road ahead of us. "Well, then, Vanessa, let's just get something straightened out before there's all sorts of confusion in the air, shall we?" He said, his tone cold and to the point. I didn't say anything, waiting for him to continue. "As of now, I own you. That means I don't have to tell you shit about what it is I plan to do with you or take you. I don't have to tell you my name, I don't have to talk to you, and I sure as hell don't want you talking to me. You want to know my price? Sit in that seat and shut up."

He really didn't beat around the bush, did he? Just jump right into the point. He owned me; that's lovely. He basically implied that he was my master and I was his bitch who would do his bidding, whatever it may be…which at the present time was to shut up. I stared at him, but he never turned again to look at me. It was as if I wasn't even there.

I hissed loudly and watched as the corner of his mouth twitched ever so slightly, like he was trying not to smile. I sighed and spoke again.

"Fine. But can't you at least-"

I was interrupted by loud, and I mean very loud music that suddenly filled the space of the car. He had turned on the radio. He effing turned onto the radio so he didn't have to listen to me, to shut me up. Who did that? It wasn't even good music! It was like elevator music gone wrong. I hoped that this wasn't what he listened to on a regular basis, for my sake.

It didn't take us long to return back to the city and to the hotel I'd be staying at. He turned off the car and I sighed in relief when the horrible music was replaced by silence. I started to get out of the car when I felt his hand grip my wrist suddenly. I whipped around, glaring at him. His eyes narrowed at me, which had now dissolved the contacts completely, so his burning, rich red eyes were at their best. I froze under his scowl, not sure whether to be afraid or to melt. Those eyes were so dangerous, staring straight through me. There was nothing he couldn't do at this very moment, and that's what was so scary.

He could hurt me, he could kill me if he wanted, I wasn't a fool. He could sink those sharp teeth into my skin and drain my life away at his will. His hands could easily break my bones like they were small twigs. But what else could those hands do? What else couldn't I stop him from doing…or worse, didn't want to him to stop doing? I hated him, that much was known to me. But yet, at the same time, he intrigued me. More than I would have preferred.

In the silence, my heart was like a helicopter, beating so fast and so hard. I thought any moment it was going to stop beating from utter exhaustion it was going to fast. If he would only let go of my wrist and just stop looking at me.

His eyebrows raised upon hearing my thunderous heartbeat, but his eyes never left mine, still as venomous and intimidating as ever.

"I hope you realize that I was very serious before. If you keep asking questions, I'll sew your mouth shut. And don't ever-" He leaned his face towards mine. "Try and kiss me again. I'm not one of your pathetic little conquests you can spread your legs to, and I wont be insulted by being suggested as one."

He pulled away, opened the door and swiftly got out of the car, while I sat there in shock for a couple of seconds. He'd called me a slut before, many times, so you'd think I'd start getting used to it by now…but for some reason, every time he implied it, I swear it actually hurt a little. It was insane, because I shouldn't have cared what his opinion was of me. I didn't care what anyone's opinion was of me. I was my own person, and if he didn't approve of what I did with my time then that was his own damn problem.

I pushed that silly feeling of being hurt away from my mind and got up out of the car, heading towards my room. I heard his footsteps follow behind me. He was obviously paranoid I'd try and bail so he figured he'd have to watch every move I made. I thought it was stupid, seeing as how even if I did try and run, there was no way I'd get as far as the hotel parking lot. I knew he'd find me; wherever I went.

I was his bitch, after all.

Although, I didn't have to act like it. I did have some pride.

I slid my key card from my back pocket, and unlocked the room. As quickly as I could, I gathered all my toiletries from the bathroom and random items of clothing, stuffing them into my suitcases. He stood, watching my every move, and I felt the pressure of his stare.

"Are you trying to annoy me, or just really this slow?" He said lazily, rubbing his eyes. I flicked off his covered eyes.

"Well if I knew I would be traveling, I would have been more organized but since this is last minute, you'll have to excuse the lack of order around here." I snapped, my voice harsher than intended.

On the bedside stand, I took the photo album in my hands, carefully placing it in the suitcase, relieved to have it back and safe in my possession. My felt myself relax, seeing it in front of me, like a weight off my shoulders. I'd sold my soul to the devil for these pictures, and I couldn't bring myself to regret it. They were worth it.

"Not my problem. Besides, you knew better than to come back here." He spat. "Got everything yet?" He asked, looking extremely bored and pissed off. I sighed heavily, trying to compose myself. I zipped of the suitcases, grabbed my handbag and turned to face him.

"Listen, I know you'll probably rip my head off for asking this again but…can't you tell me your name?"

He groaned, letting his head tip back. I felt my eyes land on his long and exposed neck, wishing I hadn't done so the moment I started starting at it. I forced my eyes back to his face, but that glance only lasted about half of a second because the next half, I was pressed against the wall, his body directly in front of me, his forearm crushing into my chest as he held me there.

I yelped in surprise and noted how vividly intense his eyes were, once again, burning into my face. I felt a heat of wave flood through my limbs, and cold chills from his body all at once. My chest hurt, both from my heart pounding violently and his strong hold on it,.

"You're right, I probably will," he hissed, his lips close to mine. "You're very stupid, you know that?"

I gulped, shaking against him. I looked down, avoiding that stare of his. I felt his fingers grip my chin roughly as he pulled my face back up.

"I…I-"

"You what?" He interrupted, cocking an eyebrow.

"Just tell me your name, tell me what you want from me! Tell me-"

"Do you have a _death wish_, Hersheys? Do you not take my warnings seriously?" He sounded frustrated, mad because I wasn't giving into his authority.

I really should have shut the hell up, I should have taken him seriously…and I did. But the more he refused to tell me anything, the more I kept spewing questions out of my mouth, unable to stop them. I was dangling my own life in his hands and I couldn't stop talking! And now I was going to die, he was going to kill me because I couldn't keep my fat mouth shut when he told me to.

"I'm very aware you can crush me with your little finger, okay? It's just I just sold myself out to you, I'm in your debt and I have no idea what it is you want from me or how it's going to effect me and the last two times we've encountered you've failed to give me your stupid name but you know mine and…yeah, I guess you could say I have a death wish."

His expression softened for a split second, his eyes somewhat tender as if he understood my determination, but as soon as I saw it flash, it was gone, and he was all stone again. He pursed his lips, drawing my attention to them instantly. I could never focus on one aspect of him for too long, because there was always something else that stole the spotlight. His eyes, his lips, his lean build, his elegant hands. The perks of being immortal: you're absolutely stunning to the eyes.

"Alec," he said softly, so soft I could barley hear him.

"Huh?"

"You belong…to Alec…that's my name."

I replayed the name in my head, the more I did so, the more I realized it fit him. Alec just sounded like the sort of name that belonged to a douche. A sophisticated, cruel, messed up douche bag. I didn't know whether I liked it or not, but at least I had a name to go with his face.

"Alec…" I repeated, and his eyes narrowed, as if hearing his name come from my mouth was an insult to him or something.

_Alec_ stepped back, casually folding his arms across his chest.

"Mhm. Are we satisfied?" He asked sarcastically, and I hesitated, wondering if I should ask what he wanted, since he was starting to give answers. Before I could even open my mouth, he was talking again.

"No," he shook his head.

"I didn't say anything!" I protested, raising my arms.

"I know what you're going to ask, and I wont tell you…not just yet." He said and glanced at my bags. "Grab your things and get in the car."

"Where are we going?" I asked dumbly.

"Last warning, Vanessa."

In my foolishness and out of habit, not taking in regard to what he was capable of, I scoffed, rolling my eyes. I muttered an insult under my breath to him, which I knew he heard.

Wrong move.

His face remained calm, which was very eerie. I didn't like how collected and at ease he looked. Then, I saw it.

A hazy, almost translucent mist emerging from the ground. I didn't know what the hell it was, but I knew that something wasn't right.

The room began to spin, and I grabbed at my head, as if that was going to keep me from falling over. My body felt numb beneath me, second my second I was losing sensation.

Alec smiled a small, knowing smile at me, his face leaning in once more.

"_Goodnight, Hersheys…"_

But by the time he said it, it could have been in a dream, for I was completely emerged in pitch black darkness, not knowing whether I was dead or alive.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Writer's Note: Wow...okay..um...hey guys! For those of you who read The Emotionless Shadow, we're VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY SORRY ABOUT THE UPDATE SITUATION! We're almost done with the last chapter..(yes, for those who didn't know..it's the last chapter..) and very sad but really relieved we're almost finished once and for all. We love TES Alec and Nez but honestly, after two years, it's time for something fresh. This, right here, is fresh! Hope you guys liked the idea, and if we get good responses, we'll continue! We'll continue either way, but feedback will encourage us, haha.<em>**

**_This Alec is very...difficult. Okay, he's an asshole, plain and simple. A lot more so than TES Alec. And this Renesmee isn't sweet innocent Renesmee running away from her family like in TES. She's been on her own for two years and is bitter and feeding on live humans. A lot of differances, which we love. _**

**_You might be confused as to what the heck he has planned, but keep reading...eventually it'll start to make sense. _**

**_Love you all! _**

**_-IITM_**


	2. Chapter II: Void

**Disclaimer: We don't own Alec and Renesmee, for reasons we still don't understand. That doesn't mean we can't pretend, though.  
>Happy reading, darlings!<br>-Cee and Tiff {IITM}  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter II: <strong>

**Void**

Days could have passed. Maybe even weeks, or months…I wouldn't have known the difference. I didn't even know what I was anymore.

All I had were my thoughts. Everything else was black and numb. It was like being paralyzed from head to toe, deaf, blind all at once. I once remembered reading about Helen Keller, and thought that I could never imagine what it must be like unable to see or hear.

I knew exactly what it felt like.

I couldn't even feel my own heartbeat inside of my chest. I couldn't even smell! I depended a lot on my ability to smell. It helped me hunt, it was something I relied on. I was cut off from every sense I possessed.

I had to be dead.

I use to think about what it was like to die, and what happened to you afterwards. I always imagined that you were at total peace, and just blew away with the wind somehow. Or maybe it was like some people believe you go to Heaven or Hell…perhaps this was a form of hell. Maybe people had their own personal hell when they died, and this was mine. I was still able to think, to remember but unable to do anything else. I didn't even know if I was breathing. How does someone not know if they're breathing or not?

No heartbeat, no breath in my lungs.

I was dead!

I prayed to God this wasn't what my family went through after their own deaths. I hope they were instantly at peace and not like this, stuck in the trap. I just wanted it to end.

It's a strange thing, being able to picture things. I kept thinking about to Alec, seeing his perfectly calm face as he killed me.

How did he kill me again?

That mist! How could he kill me with mist? I knew vampires had abilities, but that was nothing I had ever heard of. The killing mist? What, was it infested with venom? Did I breath it in and it poisoned me instantly? I didn't know what else to think.

If I had only just listened to him, gotten my crap and into his car and did whatever it was he wanted me to do. I knew he was dangerous, I knew it, but I had been so use to making fun of him it slipped out before I had a chance to stop myself. Now, I was paying the price.

You would think I would have been more upset, considering I was dead and everything. Shouldn't I be sad that I was no longer able to live? Shouldn't I want to live?

_Who do you have to live for?_

Oh, right. I had almost forgotten about that.

Like I stated, I don't know how much time had passed. After a while, I just faded into a silence beyond my thoughts.

A sudden army of nerves crashed into me like a car hitting a wall at a hundred miles an hour.

It was overwhelming, to say the least.

I could feel my body, my skin's reaction to the air around me. It was cool and hitting me all over, and I felt my skin tingle from the contact. I could hear the soft hum of an engine; it sounded like a car. I could feel the seat beneath my body; it felt like leather. The smooth surface rubbed against my back, and I jerked from the feeling.

And I could smell him. His strong scent taking me over. It was like nothing I had ever smelled before, but each time I came encounter with him, his scent followed. It was masculine but at the same time sweet, yet spicy. Strong, but just gentle enough to want more of it.

It tingled my nose as I inhaled sharply, overwhelming me.

I gasped in air, jumping in my seat as I opened my eyes. Everything was so bright it hurt. In front of me was the open road, a back road by the looks of it. With trees on either side, grass, weeds, and the enormous blue sky above, with thick and fluffy clouds hovering in the air, shielding the bright yellow sun. Nothing ever looked so beautiful to me as this. I blinked, trying to get my eyes adjusted to the light.

I continued choking on the air, not sure if I was getting enough in like I needed. The feeling of oxygen passing through my lungs was more foreign than it had ever been. It's like I'd been a corpse laying in a coffin for hundreds of years and was now back to life and unfamiliar with how the body moved and worked.

I pressed my hand to my chest, feeling and hearing the rapid heartbeat.

_Still there.._

Did that mean I was actually alive?

My breathing continued to be extremely heavy and uneven and I felt tears swell in my eyes. I turned my head, amazed at how it felt to do so, and saw Alec in the driver's seat, looking at me casually.

I felt my mouth open as I gazed at him.

"Enjoy your nap?"

I blinked, listening to his voice very closely. I never really paid much attention to it before but now that I hadn't heard anything in what seemed like forever, it was the most beautiful sound I had ever beheld. Beautiful but ugly all at the same time. It was cold, mocking and unsympathetic. Low and dangerous, but soft and even a little sensual. But that was the last of my concerns at the moment.

I choked out another gasp, staring at him in horror. I had never seen Alec in the daylight before. And though the clouds were covering the sun at the moment, keeping his skin from revealing his true nature, his skin did look so bright it was almost blinding to me. So pale and flawless. It was a total contrast to the pitch black I had been surrounded by for what seemed like an eternity.

He looked like a glowing angel, but I knew so much better.

He did this to me. Whatever IT was, he did it.

"What…" I began, my head spinning in confusion. "What did you do to me..?"

He shrugged nonchalantly. "I paralyzed you. I told you to stop arguing and get in the car but you wouldn't listen…I had to take matters into my own hands."

I looked down at my own hands in my lap, which were shaking life two leaves, and back to him again.

"I thought you killed me…" I half whispered, half sobbed. I really didn't know why I was wanting to cry. Was I relieved to be alive? Was I disappointed? I didn't exactly know, but I just knew it was all too much to handle.

"I didn't kill you," he replied, his voice a hint softer, but then cold again as he continued. "You still owe me."

Owed him? Owed him what?

"In exchange for your things, little girl. You said you'd do anything I wanted…? Is any of this ringing a bell? Should I speak slower?" He mocked, and I hadn't realized I had asked him out loud. I was so used to everything being locked away inside of myself that I didn't know when I was speaking and when I wasn't.

"My stuff…is it here?" I asked frantically, looking at my feet and in the backseat, I saw nothing, and was starting to have another panic attack when he sighed heavily.

"In the trunk. Don't have a conniption fit."

My eyes cut back to him, this time with hatred glazing over, seeing him as the distasteful and ugly person I'd ever came in contact with. My shaking hands forming into tight fists and I felt my fingernails digging into the skin of my palms. How had I ever found him attractive? Every aspect about him was despicable, from the inside out.

"You said you paralyzed me…paralyzed me how?" I spat, my teeth clenching inside my mouth. I wanted nothing more than to lead across the console and attack him with every bit of strength I was blessed with, but due to recent incidents, I didn't think that was a good idea.

"Isn't that obvious?" He cocked an eyebrow, giving me a cruel, twisted smile. "Your senses, you child. I cut them off."

Yeah, I guess it was obvious, and I'd figured it out myself, but I wanted to hear it from him, I wanted him to say what he did to me aloud.

"Don't call me a child." I hissed, my teeth now present.

His cold smirk remained in place.

"What do you want me to call you? A woman?" He chuckled darkly, and I was vibrating from fury. "C'mon, Hersheys…don't embarrass yourself."

I sank back into the seat, wrapping my arms around myself as if that was going to protect me from his harsh words. The subject of my age was always a sore issue. But what did he know? He didn't know I was only eleven years old in actuality, how could he? For all he knew, I was hundreds of years old!

I don't know if it was the tone of his voice, making fun of me as always, or what he implied that upset me, but it was. In his eyes, I wasn't even a woman. I was just some _child _he could take advantage of, someone he could as he said, paralyze for his own amusement. He didn't have to tell me anything, or do anything because he owned me.

To hell with that.

After having my moment of vulnerably, I glared back in his direction.

"Pull over."

"Excuse me?"

I leaned across the console, putting my lips in front of his ear. He stiffened instantly.

"_Pull. The. Car. Over." _I said loud and clear. He shoved me away roughly and I bounced back into my seat. His eyes turned wildly to mine,

"Do not do that." His voice was all silk and danger again, and I tried not to show my intimidation. Last time he used that voice, I ended up in some sort of coma.

I guess I was the weak one after all. Damn it, I hated admitting that. I wanted to be in control, because I was always in control of others around me, always bidding them to do what I wanted. But I couldn't do that with him, he didn't feel anything towards me, nothing! Not fear, not admiration, not lust.

I was hopeless against him! And I did this to myself, I put myself in his hands. I let him! What was I supposed to do now? Beg like a pathetic little minion because I wanted fresh air? Would I sink that low? I needed to get out of this car, that was for sure. It was like the space around me was getting smaller and smaller, boxing in around me. After being in that dark for so long, I wanted nothing more than to breathe in the clean air of earth. I could see it through the windshield of the car, and I craved to be out there, even only if for a few minutes.

But I couldn't beg. Not to him. Not again. I'd already given him enough power over me, and I sure as hell was not about to get on my hands and knees. I'd just have to suck it up. I'd gone through a lot worse.

"You're a dick." I stated, running a hand through my hair.

From my peripheral vision, I saw him smile. I didn't turn to look, though a part of me wanted to take view in it.

"You think that's funny?" I snapped. "Do you like being insulted?"

"I'd hardly consider it an insult," he replied.

"What do you consider an insult, Alec?" I retorted.

He didn't say anything, and I felt my eyes moving back towards him. He was clenching his jaw, his eyes straight ahead at the road.

"Well?" I pressed, raising my eyebrows.

"You saying my name," he said darkly. "That is an offence to me."

My eyebrows pulled together in confusion. Who the hell was offended by being call their name? I realize it wasn't the greatest name in the world, but it was his after all. What was his problem?

"How do you figure?"

"Hearing it come off your lips, your voice…it's like nails on a chalkboard." He said indifferently, lazy, like it was just a statement about the weather or something.

I felt my mouth making an 'o' shape. Was he for real? What was I, The Grinch? Was I so revolting that he didn't even like me disgracing his name by saying it aloud?

I couldn't help but feel a slight bruise from it. I didn't now why, but it did, it sort of hurt me in a way. He treated me like I was dirt beneath his shoes, mold or something. I tried keeping my face under control; I'd never let him know how much his words effected me.

He's nobody. He's just an asshole who likes to make other people feel just as miserable as he is, no doubt.

"You are unbelievable." I breathed, shaking my head.

"Quite the opposite, actually." He disagreed. "See, you live in a fantasy life where you're a goddess. Steal what you want, feed who you wish, screw who you desire with no consequences. You're the one whose unbelievable, Hersheys. Me? I'm giving you a reality check."

"Right. Because you're not insinuating you're a god? You, whose taking away my choices?" I almost yelled.

He chuckled, shifting in his seat.

"Oh, but you brought this all upon yourself, Vanessa. You signed yourself over to me, willing and desperate. Now, I can do with you what _I _please. You can now fully understand what it is like for the people you use and manipulate on a daily basis."

My hands clenched onto my bare thighs, as I was still in my mini skirt, and could feel my nails make imprints into my skin. I wanted to strangle him so badly, I wanted to watch the life whither away from his cold eyes. What was I saying? He wasn't alive. He was dead in every aspect of the word. No heartbeat, no compassion, nothing. Why wasn't he six feet underground where he belonged? Why couldn't I put him there?

"Don't hurt yourself on my behalf." His voice sounded amused as he caught a glance at my nails digging into my legs. I studied his expression, and behind all that acid exterior, his eyes almost looked lustful as they remained focused on my bare thighs.

I felt my heartbeat quicken at once, and took my hands away, now folding them over my breasts. Alec blinked, and I heard him swallow, as if banishing the outrageous thoughts. I didn't quite know what he was thinking about as he looked at my thighs. I almost didn't' notice it, but I did. It was like a hidden, and I mean really hidden deep within his black soul, a spark of utterly raw passion.

Jeez, my heart was pounding. I probably imagined it. I hoped I had imagined it. For my sake. I couldn't handle seeing that longing look in his eyes again. Stupid things might start to happen. Stupid thoughts on my end.

What the hell am I even thinking? Nothing would happen! He's the troll; he's Licorice! He's an unfeeling lunatic, that's what he was.

I felt sick to my stomach. I almost lost my mind there for a second or two.

"I'm hungry." I blurted aloud and randomly, feeling my face turn red all over. Oh, please, don't let him notice.

He didn't. Thank God.

"Too bad." Alec said, no longer looking in my direction. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, really getting annoyed with this, 'I'm an asshole,' kick he was. Along with getting tired of it, I was growing bored by the second.

"You gonna' starve me?"

No answer.

"HELLO!"

Still no answer. Seriously, this guy was good. Feeling fed up, I sighed, looking out the window for any sort of sign as to where I was headed. I recognized nothing, of course. Just a whole bunch of trees and a lot of nothing else.

I looked over at the vampire sitting next to me and highly doubted he felt the same way about the whole ordeal. Did he enjoy anything? Every time I've seen this guy, he hasn't smiled once. Not a real smile, anyways. All his smiles were snaky and full of well…evil.

There was no warmth in them and I started to find myself wondering if he was even capable of it. I guess it really didn't matter now, did it? No one wanted to get to know their kidnappers, or masters, as he seemed to want to be known as. It was wrong what he was doing, all because I left my suitcase in the hotel. But could he really blame me? You don't bring your suitcase when you went off to shop! But as he said, I shouldn't have come back to NYC in the first place. He was right, I shouldn't have.

But it was worth it I guess, knowing I had my stuff now. Nothing could replace such things in my eyes. I mean sure, I gave away my life, but it wasn't like Alec was planning on killing me. Not anytime soon of course. He would of done so already, and then what would be the point of me getting my photos at all? Just for his amusement? It was possible that he'd like to torture me first but something told me he didn't want to harm me…apart from my coma he put me in.

I felt awkwardly safe. From what I gathered about the guy, he wasn't one to waste time. And killing me for nothing would be wasting his time. Getting pictures and then killing me would definitely be considered wasting time. I had to figure out a way to get out of here though, and quick before this psycho got bored and decided to change his mind about to whole deal. I had to get myself free, but how? How was I to do that when he's proven he could handle himself far more than I could? I could run, I am fast after all. But something told me it wouldn't work. I could punch him and scream?

_Very horror movie, Renesmee. Good going._

Ugh. I was screwed. I had to think of something and quick, because I didn't know how long we would be in this car. And for some reason, wherever we were going, I got the feeling that I didn't want to end up there.

Call me crazy, but Alec was keeping it a secret for a reason.

After a while the only thing I could hear was my stomach, the soft hum of the engine, and the sound of the tires against the crappy back road we were on. It sounded like a horse galloping. My throat continually burned with need, signaling my brain to switch to killing mode, as it sometimes did.

Looking over at Alec, it seemed quite clear he didn't seem to notice my discomfort. And if he did notice, he didn't care that I was suffering. He wanted me to be quiet, though, I knew that. And I knew I should probably listen, but c'mon! No one was quiet forever. Girls talk three times more than men, so I knew I was doomed. I'm a talker, I like to socialize when bored, and hungry. It's how I feed. How was I suppose to live if he doesn't feed me anyways? Or maybe that's his plan along, to actual starve me.

Sick bastard.

"So…" I began, clapping my hands together out of nervousness. Alec still didn't glance in my direction. His eyes were purely on the road as if we were about to crash or something and he was the only one who could stop it. Ha.

"Don't you feed?" I asked. Alec's hands tightened on the wheel. "I mean, you have to… you have red eyes. And you've walked this earth probably decades, I'm guessing?"

He rolled his eyes, still speechless. That's okay. I could get him to crack.

"How old are you anyway? A hundred years, a thousand…a million? You ever get laid?" Oh! That one got a grimace. I was winning at this game.

"No, yes? How about a threesome?" I pressed, leaning towards his slightly. "You know, it's okay if you haven't. I've met tons of guys who are virgins, ones who never even left their mothers' houses. Can you believe that? They like, live in their attics. Do you live in someone's attic?" I asked, sounding innocent, when really I could already tell I was getting under his skin. I could almost see my words crawling on him like a spider.

I tried to keep my face neural though. I don't want him thinking I was actually trying to piss him off. Though it was obvious I was. Looking around the backseat of the car, I noticed a lot of freaking books were back there. Along with a lot of other stuff.

_What does he do, live in here? _

Reaching over, I picked up one of his tinier books, I started flipping through the pages, but before I could actually figure out what the book was about, Alec had already snatched it away from me.

"Don't touch that." He hissed.

I shrugged, and leaned my head back. Inside I was screaming for something to do. Road trips, in my opinion, officially sucked with Alec. If I could only get him to pull over somewhere for food. But how when he was like a brick wall? I mean, it's not like I can seduce him to pull a stop and let me snack on the next human we see. Then again. I could try something else.

"Alec…?" Still Nothing. "Alec? Alec, Alec," Hmm, maybe he didn't hear me yet. "ALEC, ALEC, _ALEEEEC_.."

"WHAT!"

Suddenly the car stopped on the side of the road and the cars behind zoomed by us as Alec turned to glare at me. His hands were now tugging through his already messy locks. I tried not to laugh at how easily it was to annoy him.

"WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU WANT?"

I bit my lip, shrugging.

"I told you I was hungry." I said innocently.

Alec's red eyes blazed with fury. For a second there I was scared for what he was planning to do next. I should of known better then to think this would go over easy with this guy. He was anything but easy thus far, right? What was I so stupid? Why did he have to be so-

What the frig was he doing?

Getting out the car, I watched with curious eyes as Alec made it to the trunk of the car, pulling out what looked to be like my suitcases, and dropping them out on the road. He got back in without word, and before I could even think to process what he did, Alec start to drive off. I instantly when into panic mode.

"Stop. Please! Stop!"

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you. My ears are still sort of ringing from my name being screamed out from a mad woman." He said with sick humor in his voice.

I turned around and looked out the back window, staring at the suitcase which held my pictures in them. It was getting smaller and smaller, and my heart was breaking. He was joking, I know. He had to be. I gave my life to him for those pictures. He couldn't possibly be meaning to just drive away from them, could he? Did this mean my deal was off? Obviously not, seeing as how he hadn't thrown me out of the car as well. I had to get out of here. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. All I could see was that bag disappearing.

"Alec!-"

"You think you can make jokes? Make one about this."

"I'm not making jokes anymore. Turn around, damn it! We had a deal!"

"About getting your stuff out of the hotel. They're out now."

I swear I could of slapped him for that remark, but I resisted. Seeing at how he pretty much had my world at his fingertips.

I reached over to his side of the car and placed my warm hand over his chilled one on the wheel. Alec instantly froze as my thoughts projected themselves into his head.

_Stop the car now!_

The car started sliding off the road. I placed my leg over on top of his foot that was on the break, and it came to a complete holt. Alec's eyes were completely shut as his body still froze to the wheel. He was probably figuring out what it was I was just did. Of course, I didn't give him time to ask.

I was already out of the car and practically running back down the road, Alec not far behind me. I felt his hand gripping my arm tight, spinning around before I could get to the suitcase. His grip wasn't hurting me in any sort of way, it wasn't even a demanding kind of gesture. It was more out of shock than anything else. I looked up at his rubies and saw about a billion questions.

"Explain."

"You have your secrets. I have mine." I shot back.

His hold on my arms was turning into a tender touch, and the feeling of his fingers on my skin made me shake slightly. I expected him to move them completely, but he didn't. His hand just stayed on my arm.

"You don't want to know the answers, Vanessa. Honestly, I'm doing you a favor."

"A favor? Throwing my shit on the road and driving off is a favor?" I shrieked. "We had a deal. I want my stuff with me at all times. I was honorable on my side of things, I expect you be the same!"

Alec blinked at me and looked away, avoiding my eyes all together.

"If you didn't piss me off, this wouldn't of happened." "Well, if you'd just acknowledge my presence, I wouldn't of have to piss you off." I snapped. "We can be civil. You were human once, were you not?"

"I don't have to be civil to anyone."

"You do to me. Or this is going one miserable ride for you."

His eyes narrowed at me as he leaned towards me, his lips stopping literally inches from mine. My breath caught in my throat and my heart started to pound under his gaze. Deeper and deeper I looked into the red eyes, and I could of sworn I was falling into a river of wine.

"Are you testing me, Hersheys?" He whispered, a spark of light hitting his eyes.

I questioned what I should do next. What I should say to get him to become reasonable? I came up with nothing. Back to his question though: was I questioning him? Maybe. Was I testing myself? Definitely. I was seeing how far I was willing to push, to see how much I meant to him, even though I knew it was very little, if at all. Because as I stated before, if I meant nothing to him, he would of already killed me.

"Just stating the facts. You don't have to tell me everything; that's your right. But answer me when I speak to you, look me in the eyes as if I am in fact a person. And don't you ever, EVER touch my stuff again." I said sternly, trying to come across as fearless, though my brain was racked up with fear. I was scared for what he might do. He was a monster after all.

I closed my eyes and waited for him to make his move. When I looked up, I saw a grin cross his face. A true, genuine grin. I couldn't breathe at the sight. Granted, it wasn't a smile by any means, but it wasn't a sneer either. It was a crooked grin; a smirk I guess, but a humorous one. There was a bit of warmth there, I could sense it.

And it almost knocked me off my feet, right here.

He was almost…attractive…in a good way.

Ugh.

"You really are dumb, huh?"

I nodded. "Very."

"Brave but dumb." He said. "Get your stuff."

And before he could change his mind, I quickly got back to my two suitcases, and was almost tempted to hug the one I needed most. I pushed back the tears I felt coming to my cheeks and put back on my tough girl face. I walked back to the car and carefully put them back into the trunk, though I was tempted to take out the photo album and hold it to my chest the whole way. But that'd be obvious and I didn't want him knowing too much or risk him seeing any of the pictures. They were for my eyes only.

I didn't know what Alec was thinking. All I knew was I was hoping for some good to come out of it. I could already tell that though he thought I was brave, I'd be naïve to think this changed anything between us. And even if he did show some lenience on me with my bag, I will never forget that it was his fault that it was on the road in the first place. I wasn't expecting him to turn into sudden prince charming within five seconds because I got him to see my side of things for a minute. I wasn't even expecting him to say he was sorry. Because to put it simple, it just wasn't him. I knew that just by looking at him. He didn't do apologies.

As soon as I got in the car though, I felt like it was a start of something. Even if I didn't know what that was yet. It was a change.

"You're not going to be feeding on humans." Alec informed me, pulling back onto the road. "You'll eat what I give you."

"What? But I-"

"You will eat what I give you. End of story." He interrupted, his voice strict. "I can't stop every second you want to snack on a human. We have somewhere to be, and you better get use to it."

I rolled my eyes, waiting for more rules. I could already tell there was going to be a lot of them.

"We will stop every night in a hotel. You will shower and sleep when I tell you to. You will get up when I say up. Okay?"

I shrugged. What was I suppose to be? Excited that he was now controlling my sleep schedule? At least he said we'd be having our nights in hotels. I can sleep in a bed, rather than this car, which is what I had been expecting. So, I guess this was him being civil? Or trying to be civil?

I'll take it, I guess. What choice did I have?

_Oh right. None. Thank you, Alec. _

"Like you, I don't want my stuff touched. One thing out of place, one book brushed with your finger and it's done. Your stuff will be gone; I will not think twice about it. I don't care if you don't like it. That's how it is." I wondered if he wanted me writing this crap down. "I don't do tears. I don't do sappy music. And I definitely don't do childish games, like you just displayed for me. I don't like whining, either. I will try to be civil, but lets face it: I don't like you. That will make it difficult all on its own."

I know this may sound strange, but I preferred this rather than the mute Alec. I mean, I don't like what I'm hearing and half the time he's talking I want to punch him in the face, but its words. Not just silence. That would have drove me inside had he kept it up much longer.

Before I could even think though, I had my mouth running at questions.

"Why don't you like me?" I asked, because honestly, besides the slut remarks, he's never actually told me. And since I'll be with him for what seemed like forever, I thought I should know, right? Wouldn't anyone else want to know why their dislikeable? Not that I'd want to try to change his mind. The more dislikeable I was, the better. It made it easier to hate him.

Hearing my question, Alec gave a bitter laugh as if I should know this answer already.

But in truth, I really didn't. Everyone's liked me before. Everyone. Strangers on the street like me, and most of them want to see me naked, I'd grant you. But they like me. I mean, if I went to school and all that, I'd be very popular, I imagine. I'd kill myself first before going to school but I'd be popular. With lots of boyfriends and treats to taste.

_Oh, the thirst._

"Where do I begin? Hmm?" Alec pursed his lips to which he placed his index finger on, as if he was going to make an educated guess. I rolled my eyes at the sarcastic gesture. "You talk too much, for one. You ask too many questions. You don't listen. You think you're the best thing to walk this earth and you are the most selfish person I've ever encountered."

I didn't take anything he said serious enough to actually be hurt over it. He was Alec. He was trying to hurt me. As to why, I didn't know. But he enjoyed it and I didn't care enough about him to get hurt over it. Besides, half those things about me? They were partly true. I did talk a lo and I did question everything. Then again, he couldn't really blame me for that because he left me in the complete dark here; practically blindfolded me. It was only nature I would ask questions about my future right?

"You don't find me attractive, like at all?" I asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"No."

"No?"

"No. What's there to be attracted to? Nothing. Your eyes are too big, your nose is too long and don't you even get me started on the hair…it's too dark."

Well, if he really wanted to know, I dyed it this way so people wouldn't confused me with Renesmee Cullen, though I wouldn't tell him that. But it wasn't a valid reason to call me ugly.

Everything else he said?Eh. You can't win them all I guess. Even if Alec was the first guy to ever tell me such things. I'm not trying to be cocky here, (actually that's a lie.) but I think he might be the only person in the world to think this. Honestly. I've had no complaints from my other guys I've had. None. They all claimed I was beautiful, until I bit them and ended their lives. Then they scream bloody murder. It happens. That's why it was easier to snap their necks way before biting.

"How can hair be too dark? Your hair is dark but you don't hear me criticizing it." I pointed out casually, peeking at my reflection through the side mirror on the car.

"That's because my hair color actually suits me," he replied lazily.

I rolled my eyes. Yeah, so what if it did suit him? What, mine didn't suit me? I know it wasn't my natural color and all, but I thought it looked nice. It was a nice contrast with my pale skin. It caught people's attention. All but his.

"Whatever you say, Licorice."

I heard him groan. "Why do you call me that? You know my name, you've screamed it enough times to prove that fact…" He trailed off, and an awkward silence began to swell inside the mustang.

It didn't really hit me why he was suddenly so silent until I thought about what he said. I fought back laughter. Yeah. I screamed it alright. He just had to point out that fact and make it to where it was quite obvious where his mind was traveling.

"Well, you know, I thought maybe the more I said it, it might actually start sounding like a nice name. I was wrong though." I was trying to cut through the tension that was written across his face. And it seemed to work, as his blank face of stone turned into a scowl.

Ah, I had him back.

"That isn't answering my question."

Right. Licorice.

"Oh, well since you came up with Hersheys, I thought it was appropriate to think of a candy for you too." I shrugged, not understanding his sudden interest in how I picked out his nickname. These were the first signs I'd ever seen from him that he actually was interested to know about it.

"Yeah, but why licorice?" He pressed, the curiosity in his voice signing.

"Uh…well, it suits you." I said. "I mean, most licorice you see are red but you can also buy black licorice." I explained.

His eyebrows pulled together, sporting an expression of utter confusion. I bit back a smile because seeing him looked lost was pretty funny. Even his nose scrunched a little. It was really refreshing for him to be the one who doesn't understand for once. I know it sounded really stupid, but watching his expression grow mystified, it was like he was for once having a moment of weakness. I was the one constantly asking questions and in the dark on what was going on. And even though it was just a simple matter of why I called him Licorice, it still baffled him, and he didn't understand.

I had a little bit of control. I could run with it and dominate this bitch.

Alright, perhaps I shouldn't get ahead of myself. It's not as if I had him at gunpoint, here. Like that would even phase him. But weird this is, if gunpoint wouldn't phase him, then why did this seem to trigger some importance to him?

"I don't understand your logic at all. How the hell does that suit me?"

"Why do you care? It's just a nickname." I tried sounding casual but was really taunting him.

I think he caught onto it though, because his face smoothed out and he rolled his eyes. He was going to drop the subject now, not wanting to admit that he was curious about something I had to say. So typical. But I saw it, the question in his eyes. He wanted to know, even if he didn't admit it to me.

For some reason, I felt this as a small power I held. Gosh, I sounded pathetic. But all my thoughts of the matter were forgotten when once again my stomach growled, reminding me of the burning inside my throat. I grimaced, swallowing, as if that would help. It only made it worse.

"So, about the food situation…" I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. "What's on the menu, if not blood? Taco Bell and McDonalds?" I said it in sarcasm, horrified when I saw him nodding.

"Very good, Vanessa." His voice held a smirk. "You catch on quickly."

I whimpered in revulsion and disappointment. I couldn't even remember the last human meal I ate. I don't recall ever really liking food, even when I was younger. It wasn't something I craved. But with the hollowness of my stomach, I was growing desperate.

"What did I say about whining?" He warned, sounding like a parent rather than a…whatever the hell he was, a captor. I almost felt the urge to ask him if we were there yet, completing the cliché vibe of the moment.

"You'd be whining to if I shoved food down your throat." I muttered.

"Well, you named them so…what will it be, Hersheys? Taco Bell or McDonalds?" He said in a faux pleasant voice. I gritted my teeth.

"Whatever you think best, oh wise one. You're in control after all."

He picked McDonalds, as it was closer. In my mind, I imagined snapping his neck, and running into the fast food joint, jumping over the counter and feeding on the server. In reality, we were pulling into the parking lot and up to the drive thru. I stared at the menu, absolutely nothing appealing to me.

"What do you want?" Alec muttered, also staring at the menu, his lip curling in disgust. He knew how much this stuff was gross, he understood my agony. That's what made him so cruel.

"Welcome to McDonalds; what can I get for you this morning?" A disoriented female voice spoke from the box of doom, as I was beginning to call it.

Breakfast. Normally, my breakfast would be my one night stand, his body naked next to me in bed. However, that wasn't on the menu. I stared at the pictures of the sausage biscuits and McMuffins. I felt bile rise in my throat.

Alec cut his eyes at me in impatience. I shrugged.

"Everything looks like shit."

"You'd better get used to eating shit then."

I studied the menu once more, ignoring the voice coming from the box of doom. Alec was about to choose something for me when I cut him off.

"I'll take the steak, egg and cheese bagel." I called in a loud voice, leaning over Alec so the woman could hear me. Alec pushed me back into my seat, rolling his eyes. The woman asked what I wanted to drink.

"Water," Alec said for me, and I hissed.

After avoiding eye contact with the woman, sparing her from his red gaze, and driving off, I stared at the bag in my lap like it was a foreign object from outer space. What was even more disturbing was the smell emerging from the bag, and how it was triggering something inside of me.

It must have been the hunger, my body was confused. But nonetheless, I felt my mouth water. It was disgusting.

I grabbed the water, inserting the straw inside the cup and gulping at the tasteless, cool liquid. I hoped that it would take care of the issue. I imagined the water was what I really needed. But it didn't work, and all I got from it was a brain freeze from drinking the ice cold beverage too quickly.

"Damn it!" I growled, opening the bag and unwrapping the bagel. I stared at it, pointing out the major differences between this and the picture they displayed on the menu. But even though it didn't look quite as organized and perfect as it did on the menu, it was the only food I'd be consuming.

I slowly brought it to my lips and closed my eyes in horror as I took a bite of it. Then I chewed, and chewed. It wasn't disgusting as I imagined, but it wasn't savory either. It was like a bland substance inside my mouth, and I felt like a cow, continually chewing with no inspiration.

"You have no idea how much respect I do _not _have for you right now." I grumbled, swallowing the traces of my misery.

I heard his dark chuckle, and it sent a tingle down my spine. I didn't know if it was a good or bad one. I didn't care either.

"You'll get over it," he muttered underneath his breath. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Have you ever had this shit?"

"Human food?"

"No, you idiot." I growled. "Not just any food, _fast _food. Food that they…processed meat! Radioactive crap and grease! All this grease, sliding down my throat! It's horrid."

"'Horrid'? Who says that anymore?"

I didn't even hear him.

"And what about the stupid logo's they come up with? '_Have it your way?'_

"That's Burger-"

"And the fact that you even know what that is disturbs me." I ranted, tempted to take this crap on my lap and throw it out the window. The more I ate it, the more I despised it. At first I couldn't taste anything, but it was starting to settle on my tongue, making me want to regurgitate. "What about '_Eat More Chicken?' _What does a chicken have anything to do with a cow?"

"Obviously the cow doesn't want you to eat their kind." He replied, glancing to me before turning back to the road. I scoffed.

"Well, what if I wanted to eat the stinking cow?"

"Clearly you don't."

"What about the chicken? Doesn't the chicken have feelings?"

"I have a really hard time believing you give a damn about a chicken's life when you don't even blink twice at taking a human's."

"I do too blink twice…sometimes thrice." I answered honestly, even though I usually do more than blink at them. I usually tended to sleep with them first; call me a slut but I like to think of myself like a black widow spider. As disgusting as that sounds. I just thought that if someone had to die, I might as well make them feel good before hand, right? I'm not completely heartless.

I wonder what he did them for his prey. Did he go straight for the kill? Or did he do that whole mind whammy Dracula stuff? Clearly he likes taking control over things. He would pass for a young Dracula, I think.

Continuing on my mission to food poisoning, I could feel his gaze shifting towards me every few seconds, like he was trying to read me or something. Every time he did, the car seemed to shrink. I felt smothered under his eyes, and I was finding it harder to breathe.

"You blink thrice? Did you blink at that guy in Barney's?" He asked randomly, catching me off guard.

Without really thinking I answered, "Oh, I more than blinked." I rolled my eyes at myself. This really wasn't any of his concern, and it was annoying how he was bringing up Cutie Boy Blue. It brought back things I'd rather forget.

He was silent for a couple of moments, then finally spoke.

"I have to ask," he began, looking almost amused. "What is it about these insecure mama's boys that seem to appeal to you?"

I store ahead, attempting to ignore the question. He wasn't having any of that, though. Alec wouldn't be ignored. He made that much clear the first time we met.

_I didn't look at the young man after, always fearful of feeling even the slightest bit of guilt for what I just did. I'd get rid of any evidence, but I couldn't look at him. I'd made it as quick as possible for him, not wanting him to suffer. _

_I licked my lips clean, my eyes closed, adjusting to the boost of strength surging through my body. I felt like I was on fire, every nerve alive and alert, every sense aware of my surroundings._

_Speaking of my senses, they were beginning to tingle, and it wasn't from the blood. I could feel someone watching me. But that wasn't right. There was nobody else here. I'd hear them coming, I'd hear their heartbeat. There was no heartbeat, but the feeling on my skin wasn't fading. It was intensifying with each second that passed. _

_I willed my eyes to open, staring in awe of the vampire standing several feet away. Even in the darkness of the night, I could see his eyes, scorching red and burning through and through. They were studying me, observing me as if I was from another dimension. I heard a frustrated and almost desperate sort of sigh, followed by a soft mutter to himself, which I wasn't able to hear._

_I knew in that moment that this vampire would be trouble for me. His eyes, richer than wine…_

"Hersheys!" I heard him say loudly, followed by snapping fingers inches from my face. I blinked in confused."What?"

"Are you deaf?" He asked, raising his eyebrows questionably.

"Huh?"

"I asked what you found appealing about these nipple suckers."

It was bound to happen from the moment he said it. My mind wandered, went to places and before I knew it I was picturing someone on my nipple, and then the vision morphed into Alec doing it, causing me to cringe. That was gross. I shouldn't have been thinking something like that. It shouldn't have been replaying either. I pushed the image, and the imaginary tongue, far into the back of my mind. Very far.

I wonder if he tasted like licorice-

No! Stop that…it wasn't natural. I don't even understand why it crossed my mind. The fact that it did gave me an unsettling feeling.

I forced my mind back to the question at hand, and felt offended, like I had bad taste in guys or something. Cute Boy Blue had something. I don't know what it was, but it drew me in like a moth to a flame, a hidden fire within him. Okay, so I really just wanted his blood, but there was something else too but didn't know what. I couldn't tell Alec this, though. He already thought I was an idiot, that much was clear. On this day alone, he's called me dumb or stupid about ten times. He was like a broken recorder set on repeat. So, instead of telling Alec how Cutie Boy Blue really drew to me, I just gave him the superficial answer.

"It's the quiet ones you have to look out for, Alec."

He scoffed at my bullshit answer and rolled his eyes.

"That guy probably cries through chick flicks and you think you need to watch out for…what, him jizzing his pants any second? That's what it looked like. You're right…very sexy."

"I didn't say…" I was lost for words, and his eyes met mine, challenging me to finish the sentence. It seemed that anything I said he'd find ridiculous, so what did it matter anyways? "I know most girls wouldn't really look his way, but he was a diamond in the rough."

"Pfft…diamond my ass. He's probably never seen a pair of breasts before and was thanking the stars you were willing to display them without having to pay."

Now I scoffed, folding my arms over those so called breasts he mentioned, protecting them from the insults. He didn't know what he was talking about, and it was pissing me off how he assumed he was right about _everything._ He didn't understand how I was able to read people, what they had hidden from everyone else. And that guy had something, I knew it! How dare he think he know what kind of guy I'd like. I had variety; unpredictable. So what if the last three guys I fed on wore glasses? But it was so Clark Kent, a private Superman waiting for me to take. I bet Cutie Blue had spandex on underneath, showing all his muscles. He had potential for great things, I wanted to draw it out.

"How long were you watching me?"

"Are you finished with your food? It's starting to stink up my car." He was not so subtly trying to change the subject; the signs were really obvious.

"I think I deserve that much. C'mon, were you tracking me? Were so that bored with nothing else to do on a Saturday night that you decided to follow me?"

"I'm not a stalker." He defended, his jaw tightening.

"That's not what our previous encounters say. What were you doing at Barney's if not following me?"

"Why would I be following you?"

"I don't know; hence why I'm asking."

"I wasn't stalking you. You'd be the last person I'd ever stalk."

He sounded like he was convincing himself rather than me, but what did I know? I didn't know anything about him. For all I knew, Alec was a fake name he'd come up with on the spot. Maybe he had a sick obsession with me and this asshole rouse was just something he put together because he didn't want me to see how desperate he really was. All I knew was that I didn't trust him. Just by looking at his fashion sense, I could tell he didn't shop at Barney's. He was an Old Navy type. So, why was he in there in the first place? Shopping and just happened to see me?

Yeah, right. I didn't buy it.

"Yeah? Then why is it you keep randomly running into me? That isn't coincidence."

"I'm doing a favor for someone else," Alec sighed, clearly frustrated. I sat up, alert at where the conversation was taking us.

"Oh? And when was this decided? The first time we met or the second?"

"It was after the second unfortunate encounter. Apparently you draw a lot of attention to yourself."

"Meaning?"

"Enough questions for now."

I grimaced. I was getting nowhere with him. He answered one question, only leading to fifty or so more. I couldn't win, no matter what I did. I stared back down the remaining food in disgust. He was right, I hated to admit, it stunk. I rolled down the window hastily, throwing it out the window and sighing in relief when I no longer had to look or smell it's contents.

"No more fast food." I pleaded silently.

From my peripheral vision I saw the corner of his mouth turn upwards, and it hinted at a smile. I waited for one, but it never came. It was just a smirk. I for some reason was left with disappointment.

After hours of not talking, and no answers, I found out that we were Pennsylvania. Why we were here, I of course had no idea. I didn't even bother asking either. From utter boredom, I felt my eyes grow heavy, and before I knew it I had fallen asleep sometime in the afternoon. However, when I woke back up, night had fell and the car was now dark except for the glow of a phone screen.

It was Alec, staring at his Smartphone in confusion and frustration. From what I could tell, it was a map of sorts.

"What's wrong?" I asked, rubbing my eyes, sitting up and arching my back to stretch it.

"Nothing," he snapped, not convincing me.

"Where are we?"

No answer.

"Are you lost?"

"No, I'm not lost!" He snapped again, this time defensive. We were definitely lost. Male pride never failed, did it? "Just…off course." He muttered so low I barley heard it.

I snorted, shaking my head and focusing out the window for any signs of civilization. I'd been in this car practically all day, unless you count when he threw my suitcase out and that brief stop for gas. I was aching to get out and walk around.

I made out a sign on the side of the road that said we were a couple of miles from a town called New Hope. I think we were still in Pennsylvania, or were we passed that now? I didn't know, and I didn't think he'd tell me either. But maybe the name New Hope was a sign that for hope and that I might get to stretch my legs sometime soon.

"I'm sick of sitting in this car," I announced grumpily.

"You're not the only one," he replied, turning onto a road. I didn't make out the name. We were in the middle of nowhere, and it was creeping me out.

"Are we going to stop for the night?"

He nodded. I took this as a good sign, but from the lack of anything around, I had no idea where he planned to do so. I wasn't going to camp out, if that was his brilliant plan, that was for sure.

"At a hotel?" I asked again hopefully, raising my eyebrows.

This time he shook his head, and I frowned.

"Why not? And if not there, then where?" I pressed on.

"Like I said, I got off course."

"Lost!" I repeated, waving my hands in the air to indicate to the open space around us.

Several moments passed and he didn't bother talking to me, because I was right. He had gotten us lost. Now he needed to get us found, as soon, because my back was hurting like a mother.

I was just about to voice that complaint when we pulled into a long driveway and a large house, which was mildly put because it actually looked like an old plantation, came into view. A three story white manor house with burgundy looking shutters. I stared in awe of the beautiful house before me, utterly confused on what the hell we were doing here.

I saw a sign sticking from the ground along the driveway that read: _Pineapple Hill B&B Inn._

My head whipped to Alec, my expression aghast. "A bed and breakfast? Why not a hotel?"

He turned back to meet my stare, his eyes cool.

"In case you haven't noticed by now, which wouldn't really surprise me much, we're nowhere near any hotels and like you, I'm tired of driving. So, unless you want to travel another how many miles to stay in a hotel, please speak now."

I sighed in exhaustion, looking back at the old looking house. I wondered when it was built.

"You sort of need reservations for these places, don't you?" I asked.

"Leave the talking to me." He parked and then reached into the backseat to grab one of his bags. I watched as he unzipped it and shuffled through his things. I made out several more pairs of faded blue jeans and tee shirts, whose scents were rolling out of the bag and into my nostrils. Everything he had had a clean and fresh scent, which was nice, since I was stuck with him.

Then, I saw him pull out a pair of contact cases. He opened them, revealing the small brown films and proceeded to put them in his eyes. He was putting on his human face, as if that did anything to make him blend in a crowd. Contacts or no contacts, he was still an unnaturally beautiful vampire.

After finishing that up, he fixed those faux brown eyes on me, and I could tell he was about to give me the play by play. However, I didn't quite expect him to come up with a plan such as the one he was about to spill out.

"Since these places are usually reserved for couples, we're going to pose as one. A married couple who defied their parents by doing so, because we're so young." He made quotation marks at that, rolling his eyes. "And we're on our rebellious honeymoon."

I blinked, not trusting my ears. He wanted us to pose as what?

"Uh…and w-what makes you think they'll buy that and let us in with no reservation?" I stuttered, watching a confident smile play on his lips.

"I've gotten really good at making people do what I want, Vanessa." He opened the door and looked back at me before stepping out of the car, his voice cocky and his eyes certain of himself. "Nobody says anything but yes to me in the end."

I felt a cool shiver run throughout my body, because he was right.

Alec always won.

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><p><strong>Writer's Note: Yay, second chapter! We did it! Haha. Hope you guys liked it. We're happy with the response we've gotten! Thank you guys for taking the time to review, it means a lot! And in case if any of you were wondering, this story will remain in Renesmee's point of view. It's more mysterious this way, and we want to keep you guys in suspence as to what are Alec's plans and why he is the way he is. :]<strong>

**So, tell us what you think!**

**-IITM**


	3. Chapter III: Façade

******Disclaimer: We don't own Alec and Renesmee, for reasons we still don't understand. That doesn't mean we can't pretend and pull on the strings of their puppets, though. Happy reading, darlings!  
>-Cee and Tiff {IITM}<br>[Please read author's note at end of chapter!]******

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter III: Façade <strong>

Like I predicted, Alec did indeed win. The elderly woman who owned the B&B was under Alec's spell She thought it was very spontaneous and romantic, how we'd run away together. The woman, Margaret, whose grey and wiry hair that reminded me that of a witch, said that she had a similar experience a long time ago with her late husband, and our situation reminded her of how love can make people do crazy things.

Despite her almost frightening hair, the woman seemed very kind and welcoming. I wondered in the back of my mind if one of Alec's abilities, besides that creepy mist, was compelling people to do what he said without question. Because this lady acted as though two teenagers getting married was something to celebrate. It wouldn't surprise me if he did have some sort of power over people's choices.

The inside of the large house was almost as beautiful as it was on the outside. Very cozy, very decorated and elegant, furniture that I found myself wanting to sit in, it was all very inviting. By where we stood, the fireplace was lit and I could feel the heat warming my skin, which actually needed it, with me standing so close to Alec's chilled body. I saw his eyes cut to the fire every few seconds, as if making sure if was staying where it needed. If I didn't know that fire was the only way to kill a vampire, I'd wonder what his problem was. But, knowing what I did about it, I understood why he would be uncomfortable around it. His attention shifted back to Margaret, who asked:

"What did you say your names were again?" The sweet woman asked, a warm smile to her aged face.

Alec smiled a surprisingly friendly one. I stared at him in shock, because he was putting on one hell of a show. He was all manners with her and used a gentle tone of voice I'd never heard from him before. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was actually sweet, because that's what he was coming across as. Although, I did know better, unfortunately. I wish I was like this woman, oblivious to the real Alec.

"I'm Brian, and this is-"

"Elizabeth," I interrupted, not wanting him to choose my fake name for me. It was the first name to come to my mind, but that wasn't strange. It was my grandmother's name, after all. I wondered what name he would have found suitable for me. Perhaps Ethel or Esther, seeing as he thought so low of me. I couldn't very well have used any name of my immediate family, that would have been too obvious.

I wondered where the hell he came up with Brian? It didn't suit him.

Alec placed his hand on the small of my back, and I knew all too well that was his subtle way of telling me to shut up and let him do the talking. Or else. But still, the feeling of his hand on my low back, right above my ass, sent electricity everywhere. I wished it wouldn't.

"How did you two meet?" Margaret asked eagerly, her eyes sparkling with excitement. I grinned and looked at the vampire next to me. Just to piss him off, I wrapped both my arms around his waist, a typical gesture for people in 'love.' Well, if we were going to play the married couple, we might as well act like we actually gave a crap about each other. And if we were supposed to be on our honeymoon? There would definitely be a lot of physical contact.

I could tell he wanted to cringe or become stiff with my body pressed against his side and my arms around him, but he didn't. He remained at ease, but for her sake only. But behind the curtains, or shall I say behind my back, I felt hit cool hand push into my back roughly before gripping onto the fabric of my shirt tightly. His nails scraped over my skin lightly, and I felt slight discomfort from it but at the same time I felt chills, my heart beating rapidly against my ribs.

"Oh, it's nothing really special or anything…but it did make an impression on me," I said sweetly, reaching one of my hands to take his. "You tell her."

_But make it sweet and simple. Don't overdo it. Let's say we met at a bar or-_"Mutual friends. We got set up." He didn't like it when I spoke into his mind. My grin deepened. I mean, why else would he look so uncomfortable when I did so? First time it happened he sped off the road, sharing the same expression he did now. His grip tightened further, and I bit my tongue, holding back a hiss that wanted to escape from between my teeth.

"Oh, that's nice. And did it make an impression on you as well?" She asked Alec.

"I couldn't stop thinking about her the moment we met." He said in a voice so warm it scared me. Damn, he was a good liar. Too good. He was better than me, and that was saying something.

Just then, a red blinking light flashed in my mind, heaving warning to all standbys.

_Abort the mission! I repeat, abort mission!_

I let go of him, suddenly uncomfortable at how real this was beginning to seem. I knew it wasn't but as long as we were in her presence, we were forced to act intimate with one another and it was starting to weird me out. How did he get so good at pretending like this? It wasn't just words, it was the way he spoke, the gestures he made. I could handle the physical aspect of it all, because I knew what to do. But he was taking this to the next level.

Who was this guy?

_He's just touching you. He was touching you before and you went along with it. Hell, you wrapped your arms around him! Nothing has changed in the last minute._

Except that he was really getting into this character.

_Just give the lady what she wants to hear so we can go to our room._

Our room…oh, jeez. She probably wanted us to leave already and go demonstrate our burning passion for each other. This lady was eating it up like a thanksgiving feast. She looked so happy! It made me sick inside.

"That's so sweet…you really caught a handsome young man, didn't you?" She was looking at me now, a humor in her voice, as if it was meant as a joke. I taped a smile to my face.

"Oh yes…but he's quite the jealous type too." I didn't know why I said that, but it seemed like maybe if I got him pissed enough, he'd pull us away so we could drop the act.

"Mmm, but we both know that you're mine. So, whenever I start to feel the least bit threatened, I remind myself of that." He said almost huskily, and I felt my heart quicken further.

_ABORT, DAMN IT! RETREAT! Do NOT engage with the enemy._

You know how when you first feel scalding hot water and for a split second, it feels cold? Well, his cold touch on mine my back was growing hot. Really hot. Dangerously hot. We needed to get out of this situation and away from this lady so I could insult him, or glare at him. Better yet, so he could insult me! That would be better. Insults I could handle, I could insult him back and we'd both be perfectly content. It's how our twisted relationship worked. I couldn't give back any of this affections! I didn't even want to pretend that I felt that way, about anyone, much less him!

Margaret clasped her hands together, looking at us like we were fictional lovers from a novel come to life or something. Alec pulled me closer to his side, and I forced myself to keep a face of composure.

I laughed nervously, not knowing what to say.

And finally, after more small talk and payment for one night, she lead us to our room. I didn't even bother looking at anything in there, or studying it. All I did was wait for her to close that door so we'd be left alone. And when she did, I ran my hands through my hair roughly.

"Ew…" I breathed, opening my suitcase and searching for my shampoo, conditioner and body wash so I could scrub away the feeling of his gentle touch on my skin. "That was so wrong."

Alec opened his own suitcase and I almost laughed when I saw him pulling out the same things I was, almost quicker than I was. I guess he felt the same about the whole situation, and needed to wash away the traces of our touches.

"I shower first," I informed him.

He cocked an eyebrow. "You think so?"

"Yes. I call dibs."

He stepped forward, and I froze instantly. Too close. Too much intensity in his eyes. Too much tension altogether.

"You can call whatever you like, but you're not the one who had to not only stand there and look pretty, but open your mouth and speak lies that now feel like acid on my tongue." His voice was low, all traces of happy go lucky Brian were gone. I had been waiting for this moment, waiting for him to insult me so things could go back to normal. But now that he did, I almost missed the smiling Brian.

_What. The. Hell. _

"So, do I have the honors of putting the medal around your neck or…?" I said softly, hinting at sarcasm.

Yeah, I guess it was a pretty childish argument of who got to shower first, but it was always fun challenging him, even though I knew more than likely I'd end up losing. It seemed like I kept forgetting about how dangerous he was. That wasn't a wise choice on my end. But I didn't sense any danger coming from him at the moment; just irritation.

"I think I deserve one. If it weren't for me, you wouldn't be sleeping in a bed. So, you should thank me." He was actually serious, and I chocked on a laugh.

"Thank you! You should be apologizing to _me!_" I argued, placing my hands on my hips.

"Apologizing for what?""For making me go through that down there! C'mon, you didn't have to be so…so…" I shivered, recalling the situation. "So realistic."

He was about to reply when there was a knock at the door. I hissed under my breath, giving him a pleading look not to open it. I didn't think I could handle much more of this pretending. I was just getting onto him about it and here she was, back to see the final act.

Alec opened the door, despite my silent pleads. I blushed when I saw what was in Margaret's hands.

Candles and a bottle of wine, which she'd the liberty of opening for us. There were a couple of glasses on the night stand, so I guess this was something she did often? Or were we special?

Kill me now.

"Just thought you two might like these," she smiled. "I realize you are young, but you only have one honeymoon."

I snorted. One honeymoon from hell. This woman might have been sweet and all, but she really was a moron. My focus zoomed in that wine, craving it almost as badly as I craved blood. It was rich, sweet…I could pretend. Also, if I were really lucky, I might even get a buzz. I returned the smile and took the bottle from her hands, not bothering with the candles. Alec could get those if he wanted them. I really hoped he didn't though. I didn't want to know what he looked like in the candlelight in a bedroom, alone. I mean, his eyes might kill me in that lighting. The flame of the wick and the flames in his eyes combined, it wouldn't end well for me. Just the thought sent me on edge.

I walked over to the bed, laying down on it as I took the bottle to my mouth. I moaned, the taste exploding inside my mouth. Just what I needed.

Please let me get drunk. Then maybe he would stop looking like a forbidden fruit, or something.

When I took a break for air, sweet Margaret was staring at me like I was an alcoholic or something. I glanced at Alec, who was fighting a glare.

"It puts me in the mood," I told Margaret, who nodded and proceeded to avoid looking at me altogether. I looked back at Alec, whose lips curved playfully into a small, assured smile. Even before those two sensual lips opened up to speak, I already tingled from whatever it was he was about to say, because there was a look in his eyes that told me he was going to turn what I said against me.

"Do I not do that all on my own, Hersheys?"

There was that husky, suggestive voice again. I gripped the bottle, glaring at him openly now. Yep, I knew it. I knew he was going to say that. This was getting out of hand. He shouldn't have called me Hersheys in that tone of voice, it sounded endearing and it did something to my ovaries, among other places just right outside that general area.

I walked over to him confidently, slowly, a tight smile to my lips. I placed the tip of his to his lips, entranced at how the liquid brushed across his lips.

"Just one sip, Licorice…it wont kill you." I whispered, watching his eyes darken instantly at me. It made my skin feel like lava.

"I'd rather get drunk off of you." He pulled the wine bottle down and leaned his lips towards my neck. Before I even had a chance to consider stopping him, his lips were brushing my jaw line. I bit my lip, taken completely off guard by the sensation that followed.

His lips were cool and soft against my burning skin, and I held my breath, not knowing how to respond. Then, to make it that much worse, his hand slid up my hip and around my waist, his fingers gently pressing into my skin. My breathing quickened, my eyes closing at the sensation of his parted lips. I was left with nothing but a yearning inside myself that screamed for more. I gripped onto his forearms tightly, feeling as if I was about to come undone when I felt his tongue brush softly against my skin. I bit back a whimper, my body trembling against his. His hand tangled in my hair, pulling it gently, forcing my head to tip back as if to give him better access to start sucking hard on my neck.

"_Touch me…"_ His whisper was for my ears only, too low for whoever else to hear, his breath hitting my neck. I didn't quite know what he meant by that; I didn't even think he did. I didn't think he understand half the things he said and how it effected me.

That time, I couldn't stop the desperate sound that escaped my throat. How did he want me to touch him? The first thought that came to mind was that he wanted me to touch him…_hahhh_…Okay, I knew that wasn't right-

What. In. The. Green. Covered, Earth. Is. _THAT?_

Oh, I knew what it was, and I didn't know whether to pray to make it stop or to be joyous that it was there at all. Because let me just say, I've taken part in a lot of these situations before, made them grow to do my bidding. But none of them were…how should I say it? How to describe his phallus pressing against my navel?

_Huge._

And it was because…of me? Or was just making assumptions? Was he seeing somebody else inside his head? Usually, I knew the response was all me, but with him? I knew nothing. But whether it was for me or somebody else, and no matter how much I wanted to be revolted, I couldn't stop the faint pulse between my legs where it started growing moist.

_Don't moan again. Don't-_

I moaned reagaurdless of what my thoughts told me, so loud I didn't even recognize it. Was that from me? I didn't even make sounds like when I had an orgasm! I could feel the tingling sensation in the pit of my stomach, traveling father down. That's when my hands found his hair. If he was asking me to touch him, I was. I was going to touch the first thing I wanted to feel, which had been from day one, his angel soft strands. And as I expected, it felt softer than it looked, coursing like satin between my fingers.

His teeth were sharp and dangerous, teasing the flesh of my neck like they were wanting to sink into me.

_Alec… _I whispered into his thoughts. _What are you doing…? _Even the way my voice sounded inside of my own mind was breathy and desperate. I might as well have thought, 'Don't stop, Alec.'

I had completely forgotten there had been someone else in the room, someone who must have got the hint from the scene displayed before her eyes. I heard her shut the door softly. And as soon as it was, Alec was on the other side of the room, glaring at me as if I had done something wrong. I was surprised at how bitter his absence felt. My body still tingled and hummed with excitement and shamefully so, aroused. He might have been an asshole but he sure knew how to work that mouth and apparently other places. A place where my eyes wanted to focus. I strained to keep them on his face, which wasn't easily done.

I thought he wasn't attracted to me?

"Why do I keep having to do that!" He growled, his fists clenched as his sides. He wouldn't even look me in the eyes.

"Hey! You're the one who always initiates it!" I snapped, my breath still harsh and uneven.

"What else was I suppose to do? You were offering me wine; I couldn't very well take it."

"Um, I don't know…perhaps you could have said…no? Or how saying you didn't drink altogether? There was a simpler solution rather than _once again _making out with my neck."

So, I had seen Alec pissed before, because he was pretty much pissed all the time. But when I said what I did, his eyes darkened even further, narrowing venomously at me as if I were his prey, and his prey alone. I had offended him, said something that struck a nerve somehow. I suppose he didn't like being called out on the fact that it was a starting to be a habit for him to take care of a situation by being sexual. Sexual with _me,_ no less.

"Not that I need to explain myself to you, I'll have you know that I didn't know what else to do within that instant. The woman looked at me, expecting me to oblige your offer and take the wine, and I…"

I leaned my head forward, gesturing him ton continue. His eyes were all business, dangerous and spiteful, but his posture was uncomfortable, almost nervous.

"You what, Alec?"

"The point is, you should have never even offered it to me. Don't you ever _think_? Don't you _know_ what would happen if I drank that?"

Man, the subject at hand was changing rather rapidly. I wondered if he was doing this on purpose. It caused a headache to take home in my scull. I couldn't keep up with him. His insults, his man reactions, his voice, those teeth, that damn hair that still tingled on my fingertips. I was just about to my breaking point with him.

I shrugged. "Of course, I know. But like I said, it wouldn't kill you."

So what if he had to throw it back up? He acted like I was suppose to care, or something. He was acting _really_ off tonight, to lightly put it.

I mean, I was all for putting on a show for the humans, but he needed to keep his damn magic mouth to himself before I lost control of my own and did something crazy out of the power of hormones. And let me just say it, my hormones were raging about now. How could they have done anything but get all worked up? Why did he have to keep bringing up these lustful wishes I knew were wrong? Because it was, liking what he did, the feeling of it, it was so wrong. This guy was a first class jerk and did nothing but sing my insults, but when he starts getting a little physical I form like putty in his hands? That wasn't right! That was unhealthy. I was unhealthy.

I cursed that stupid night I had went to the pond, feeding on that guy. Because if I hadn't, he wouldn't have caught me. And if he hadn't caught me, he wouldn't have been looking for me every time I entered the city, and if he wasn't looking for me, I wouldn't be here right now in this freaking bed and breakfast! I wish I could go back in time and make things different. If I could, I would have never went to New York. New York was poisoned. But I was stupid, I thought I was above it all. I thought he was all talk. I thought he was dark, alluring and mine for the taking. Boy, was I dense!

"_It looks like we're going to have a problem on our hands…" _

_He stepped closer, revealing more features that the moonlight bounced off of. He was perfect, every feature of him. Haunting eyes, pale glowing skin, full and naturally red colored lips. His hair, eerily soft looking and dark, was messy. And, as I always did when meeting a guy, I made it a point to study their fingers. You could tell a lot about a man by his fingers. And his…they were long. Long and elegant, but looked strong and manly. I could tell they didn't tire easily. It was a good omen. He was quite a view, to say the least. _

_I raised my eyebrows questionably. "Oh? Why would you say that?"_

_The liquid fire eyes narrowed dangerously. "Where should I start?"_

"_Wherever you please. From the outside in, from the inside out…I am quite flexible when desired. If it pleases you, you may start from behind." I purred, pressing my body against his cool figure and running my hands down his chest, smirking at him._

"_Is that what you told him?" He questioned, raising his eyebrows. "The problem, you vixen, is the body lying at your feet…or perhaps it's the shitty job you've been doing at covering your tracks. You didn't honestly think you could rip this city apart and go unnoticed, did you?" _

_His voice was velvet and low, even sexy, though he wasn't trying, or at least that's what I figured. I had never quite heard a voice that sounded like his before. Silky smooth but rough at the same time. I also couldn't miss the strong sense of authority which laced it, like he was the new sheriff in town._

"_I think the term ripping apart is a bit of an exaggeration." I smiled a small smile. He didn't return the gesture. "And perhaps I'm doing it just to grab your attention."_

_He crossed his arms over his chest, tilting his head a little as if to study me further. "I've heard rumors about hybrids, but never had the misfortune of meeting one…until now, that is."_

_I rolled my eyes. Changing the subject, how cute._

"_Rumors, hmm? I wasn't aware that so many people knew about us…_hybrids_." I put emphasize on the last word, using quotation marks in the air with my fingers. "I hope these said rumors haven't given you a bad opinion of me…" _

_Yeah, so I was openly flirting. But why shouldn't I? He was here, he was obviously gorgeous and I was not about to pass up the opportunity to make the best of this._

"_Oh, I don't need the rumors to do that, Hersheys. You've succeeded with that all on your own. Congratulations." Sarcasm played a big part in that whole sentence, and it was confirmed when he gave a clap. _

_This one was feisty. A little mean. It was kind of a turn on._

_I would have asked why he called me the brand name of chocolate, but was still flabbergasted of this vampire standing in front of me. "Oh, c'mon…don't judge a movie by it's genre. I could change your mind." I said seductively, noting how narrow his eyes became, like two slits._

"_Sorry, I don't do sloppy seconds…or in your case, sloppy billions." _

_My mouth fell open at the insult. He just called me a slut. No one insulted me. I didn't say it to sound high and mighty; it was just the truth. No one ever insulted me. I didn't know how to respond to it._

_He laughed without humor, looking at me as though I was an idiot who didn't know right from left. Jeez, what this guy was wound up tight. Even I might have trouble loosening him up, which I still intended on doing. If I wanted something, I went for it. I wanted him. He was unlike any other guy I'd ever met, he wasn't even like any other vampires I'd known, which wasn't a lot. He'd be a challenge, one that I fully accepted right there and then._

_He was bound to give in. _

Yep, really, _really _dense. I should have known there and then he was bad news all around. But for some reason, I liked it at the time, a turn on.

Now, standing here, staring at him glaring at me with those angry eyes, I found it really infuriating.

"It might not kill me, but I could easily kill you if I pleased."

Was he still going on about the stupid wine issue?

"I _knoooooow!_" I said tiredly. "But these threats are starting to get a little stale, don't you think?"

"I thought perhaps after last night you'd realize that my threats have a way of performing themselves…"

I saw it again. That mist emerging around him. I thanked god I was on the other side of the room and not in its path. I felt a surge of fear run cold through me. Not that again. I couldn't go through that again; it was unbearable.

"What do you want me to say, Licorice?" I tried coming off as mutual but even I could hear the fear in my own voice.

"I don't want you to say anything; I can see it all in your eyes." He replied confidently.

I stared at the almost translucent haze, staying perfectly still as his will. I knew it'd only take a thought for it to start creeping towards me.

"Yeah…what do you see?"

This time he smiled. "You know what I could do, and you know how effortless it'd be to make you squirm. Yet, you wouldn't want to say it out loud, out of fear of coming across as weak."

For some reason, hearing him tell me how easy it would be to make me squirm didn't sound very violent to me. I didn't think that was his intention. It was me, I suppose. I had a sick mind. Hearing the word squirming made my mind travel to far away places. Places like where I pictured his mouth on my nipple. That dark, scary, forbidden place which shouldn't be spoken of, much less thought of. It was that place where I got turned on by him pulling my hair and sucking on my neck like his own personal lollipop.

"How do you do that…?" I motioned to the fog around him. Yeah, I was changing the subject, I was beating him at his own subject. If we kept talking about the squirming issue, only bad things would come of it, I'm sure. I'd more than likely make it obvious what I was thinking about.

"Same as you doing whatever it is you with your thoughts. You make it happen as easily as breathing." He said simply. I wondered what he meant by that. How did he know how I used it?

"Awesome. You think you could put it away now?" I asked as nicely as I could, motioning to the mist. However, once I said it, I was reminded of something else he should have probably put away. Put it away, did I want him to put it away?

_Don't look at it. Don't look down. It's not gazing up towards the heavens for you, so quit hoping for it!_

I was HOPING now? Bloody hell!

He pursed his lips, debating on how to proceed. It was annoying. He was taking his own sweet time about it. But soon enough it was fading, and I felt a weight lift off of my chest, or at least one of them.

"Go bathe yourself. You can do that with no complaints, I hope?" He cocked an eyebrow. I rolled my eyes.

"I'll try my very best."

"Good girl. Now go."

I grabbed my pajama's and toiletries, almost running to the bathroom so I could finally breathe without his eyes glued to me. I took my time in the shower that followed, taking extra care with my neck, washing it repeatedly. Like that would erase everything, but it didn't. The damage had already been done and I could still feel him on me. I could feel him in places he had never even touched!

I stared at my reflection of the mirror, my eyes widening in horror when I saw a little patch of pink on my neck.

He left a hickey on me! He marked me! I was marked by Alec. I gulped, hoping that by morning it would be gone. I was suppose to have skin of steel! How could this have happened? I'd never been left with a mark before, ever! Did his super strong vampire lips somehow make an exception? Watching my own face turn a million shades of red, I made sure that I covered my neck with hair, after staring at the hickey for several more moments, that is.

I walked back out into the room and fell onto the queen sized bed face first. I buried my face into the comforter, my legs hanging off the edge. I hoped by doing this, he wouldn't see my face, still completely flushed.

I heard him gather his crap and shut the bathroom door, soon after that the water was running. Then, I heard a vibrating noise. I looked up from the comforter and saw that it was coming from his phone which was laying on a chair. Someone was actually calling him? I couldn't for the life of me figure out why they'd want to do a stupid thing like that. I sat up on the bed, focusing on the screen from a few feet away. I couldn't make out the name, thanks to the small letters, but did make out that the first initial was _A_.

His water was still running, so he must not have heard the phone vibrating. My guess is that if he had heard it, he'd be out here within seconds snatching it just in case I decided to snoop.

I contemplated going over there to do just that, but after the incident with the mist tonight, the last thing I wanted was to do anything to piss him off. And looking at his phone would piss him off; I wasn't stupid.

I got under the thick comforter on the bed and snuggled close to a pillow, trying to relax as best I could. I wondered how I was going to be able to fall asleep with him being right there all night long. I hoped he didn't mind sitting in the dark for hours. I couldn't sleep with any lights on, not even a nightlight. I almost wished I could sleep with a light though, because the idea of being alone with him in the dark was unnerving. It actually made my heart quicken, much to my dismay.

I reached over and turned off the lamp, grabbing the wine bottle on the nightstand and gulping the cool liquid. I needed it. The only light now was the glow from the bathroom, leaking out through the door. I stared at it as if it were the portal to hell. Any moment it would open and he'd be in here with me.

Go to a happy place. Just pretend he's not even here.

Holy crap, he was wet and glistening.

The door opened like I knew it would, and I could see thick steam behind him. He stood in the doorway, his hair slick and black from water, laying across his forehead. His tee shirt clung to him, not leaving much to the imagination. I could see the rock hard definition through the paper thin, damp fabric. I felt my eyes worshipping every inch of him, from his pale neck to his chest, and from there to his lean waist area, his subtle but apparent abs peaking through. His strong shoulders, his glistening biceps, his hands which were a weakness, it all captured me.

Did this guy even bother using a towel first before he put on his clothes!

_Damn it, he still looked perfect._

I realized I was staring at him with my mouth hung open, and even worse he saw. He was looking right back at me, his brow furrowed. I didn't need to see to know that his brown eye contacts were gone now. I could almost feel the red gaze burning a hole through me.

I was very relieved when he turned off the bathroom light, eliminating the awkward staring contest. I couldn't see him now. Well, I could, but I couldn't make out anything distinct. Only the outline of his body, which was bad enough.

I heard him walk to the chair which his phone lay, and then there was a light again.

DAMN IT!

"Turn your phone OFF!" I snapped without realizing it, because it was meant to stay inside my head. I covered my mouth with my hand, as if they would take the stupid words back. All I could see in my head now was that mist.

"Excuse me?"

Oh, crap. I was dead.

I peeked at him over my pillow, watching his eyes narrow in the glow of his phone screen. I hated how sometimes I felt fearless with him, like I could say anything I wanted and didn't feel threatened, and then other times like this where I was scared for my life. It was that stupid mist that always grabbed me by the balls I didn't have. He knew he could get me if he pulled that card.

"I- just ignore me." I stuttered like a lunatic. This wasn't me at all. I made people stutter, not the other way around!

"Gee, I have your permission to do that?"

Oh, I wanted so badly to cuss him out.

After several more moments of him fiddling around with his Smartphone, no doubt texting whoever A was, the light finally went out, and it was pitch black. The only sound to be heard was my uneven breathing and rapid heartbeat. There was no way I was going to be able to fall asleep for a while. Not until I calmed down.

Problem was, I didn't know how to do that.

Alec sighed, and I heard him sit down on that chair. Then, I heard a shuffled of paper, what sounded like a book opening.

"You're reading a book?" I asked. "In the dark?"

"What else am I going to do? Watch your chest rise and fall all night long?"

"Hey, if you want to stare at my boobs all night, more power to you." I joked, smiling to myself.

I heard him scoff. "I'd rather watch mold grow."

I sighed, sprawling out on the large bed.

"This is the worst honeymoon _ever_…" I complained.

The silence was interrupted by a sound that was richer than all the treasure in the world combined. It wasn't mocking, it wasn't bitter, it wasn't humorless, it wasn't dark and cryptic.

It was Alec, genuinely laughing.

I felt like my chest was going to combust. I didn't want him to ever stop. The sound was pure, it was honest. It was beautiful.

Before I knew it, I was giggling too. His laughter was actually calming me down, making me feel almost…I don't know. It was a strange feeling. I just knew that I liked it, more than I should have. It was like a sliver of something else in him that I had never guessed was there before. I knew I shouldn't have wanted to know more about where this laughter came from, but I did. Because it wasn't from the asshole I'd been around all this time. This was from something different, another side of him. It had to have been.

When it finally died down, I felt myself missing the sound already. I was replaying the way it sounded in my head over and over, forcing myself to remember exactly what it sounded like. I'd probably never hear it again, and I had to make sure I documented this moment.

"Hey, Licorice?"

"Yes?"

"What're you reading?"

"Poetry," he answered, sounding hesitant.

He read poetry?

"Are all those books you have in your backseat poetry?"

"Most of them, yeah."

I would have never guessed he liked to read poetry. It was all soul baring, all coming from the heart of the poet. It was deep stuff, really personal. I guess that was one more thing I didn't know about him. He had an amazing laugh and he read poetry. How often did he read it? Did he have a favorite poet? Had he memorized his favorites? That would have been really attractive, if he had. I couldn't even scold myself for thinking that. Poetry was something that I, myself, had an appriciation for. I didn't read a lot of it, but what I had in the past, it was very intense.

I bit my lip. "Will you read me one?"

There was a long pause, an awkward long pause.

"I don't do bedtime stories."

I rolled my eyes at myself, instantly feeling stupid for even asking. What was I playing at? Asking him to read me a poem? What the hell! Be more obvious, why don't you?

"Goodnight." I said stiffly, still pissed at myself.

There was another long pause, and I kept hearing him take a breath, as if he was trying to find the right words to say.

"Maybe another time," he said quietly, almost a whisper. I continued chewing on my lip, wondering if he was telling the truth. "Goodnight, Hersheys."

The soft sound of Alec turning the pages was soothing, and every so often I heard him whisper a word out loud, the sound tingling my skin. I felt my eyes grow heavy after a while when I grew to tired to strain to hear him read under his breath. Then, thoughts with revolved around him were swiftly transforming into dreams about him. I couldn't make out anything particular about the dream, just that he was laughing again. Only this time I was able to see his face as he did so, his face brightening up the whole room.

"'Hersheys. Wake up."

The voice was distant. I didn't budge. Too comfortable.

"Vanessa! Wake. Up."

That's about when I felt a jolt of something cold splash my face, causing me to shriek loudly. I sat up so fast it made my head spin, and I realized Alec had filled one of the wine glasses with cold water. I was seething as it proceeded to drip from my hair and face. It stung, it was so cold. Even my boobs got a rude wake up call, hardening upon the chilled liquid. Great, I had my own version of morning wood and Alec gave it to me.

"WHAT THE FU-"

In a quarter of a second, his face was that much closer to mine.

"_Lower your voice!_" His cool breath was sweet as it hit my already freezing face, giving me goose bumps.

"You didn't have to do that." I stood up, using the collar of my shirt to dry off my face.

"No…I didn't. But it didn't kill you." He said spitefully, and I knew he was using my words against him from last night about asking him to sip that stupid wine.

"Really mature," I muttered under my breath.

After checking to make sure the hickey was gone, I was horrified to find that it wasn't. In fact, it looked worse. Bigger, like a plump shaped sunburn on my neck.

"OH, SHIT!" I explained.

"Are we having problems this morning?" I heard him call on the other side of the door. I froze, the blood rushing to my face within an instant.

"You could say that…" I muttered. I heard him scoff. I pushed my hair over my neck again, trying to hide the sin from prying eyes, though it would probably be difficult.

"Unless you are bleeding, I don't very much care. Let's go."

I fought the urge as I stepped out of the bathroom not to lunge at him with my killer instincts and snap his neck. I also resisted screaming at him, telling him I was going through a life crises at the age of eleven. I refrained, for obvious reasons.

"What time is it?" I yawned as we reached the foyer.

"Eight forty-five."

I inhaled, and the aroma of homemade breakfast took me over. I was surprised at how good it actually smelled. A lot better than yesterday's McDonalds. I think Alec was one step ahead of me, because he was already heading towards the dining room. I smiled, for once actually happy to follow his lead. The baked apple pancake soufflé that followed was a lot better than I had imagined, and I wasn't left with a feeling of wanting to throw up. Margaret, like the night before, was all smiles and warmth, while the other couples staying there looked at us with confusion. Some of them looked pissed off. I just smiled at every one of them, and their tension eased a bit. I didn't know what it was, but whenever I smiled at people they seemed to be drawn to it. Jake used to always say it was just something about me that people instantly loved. I told him he was retarded.

Remembering Jacob at that moment stung a hole in my chest, and I was suddenly overwhelmed. I kept it together, though. I couldn't have a meltdown at the dining table in front of a bunch of strangers.

Whilst eating, I heard his phone vibrate once more. I automatically peaked up at Alec through my eyelashes, wondering if he was going to just ignore the call or just text back like he did last night. Instead, taking me by surprise, he answered it. He spoke in a low voice, which I guess he thought too low for me to hear, but I could still hear him answer with the same annoyed voice he did everything with.

"Not now," he muttered, and through the phone, I heard a soft chuckle. It was a man. I wondered if this was the famous _A._

"Hello to you to," the amused male voice returned. The voice was like music, smooth and very easy to like. And gave off the impression of sensuality. I was eager to hear more.

I concentrated more intently.

"This is not the time nor place, my friend."

I couldn't help but want to laugh at the word 'friend' coming from Alec's mouth. Who on earth would be crazy enough to be his friend? I mean, I was attracted to him, and even I knew it was insane. So someone whose willing to befriend him, willingly? That was impossible. Unheard of. Possibly crazier then me.

Who was this _A?_

"Tough night then?" The voice chuckled softly. "Do anything I would approve of? _Please _say yes. Heaven knows you're in dire need of it."

I wanted to laugh. This guy was a piece of work, I could already tell. What the hell did he want to happen that he would approve of? Because the way it sounded, it was almost as if he wouldn't mind Alec and I to…to…

Oh my shits.

He wouldn't mind if Alec and I had sex? Who the heck was this person? Who could of approve of such a thing as that? I knew I had my thoughts before, but that was because Alec was pretty. And he was pretty because he was a vampire, forcing his mouth on me and making me confused.

Nothing more.

"Don't make me lose my breakfast."

"So you left her untouched?" His voice was that of disapproval, but there was that playfulness there as well.

I felt Alec's eyes glaze towards me. I couldn't help but stare right back. My heart suddenly raced in my ribs as his eyes narrowed at my neck. I blushed, and covered it with my hair again, knowing good and well what he was seeing. I wanted to dash out the door and run from how his eyes stared at me then. So intense, I lost my breath.

Did he not like that he left a mark on me? Was he disappointed that I apparently was not prone to those as normal vampires usually were? A part of me couldn't help but worry about what he was thinking. Because what he was thinking always defined our moments together. If he was mad, he was mean. If he was annoyed, he was bitchy If he was calm he was civil. I didn't know what he was going to do next, now that he knew what he'd done to me, with my help, might I add. After all, I was gripping his hair and not pushing him away as I should have. So I might as well have played a part, right? It was my hickey, wasn't it?

"Completely, untouched." Alec muttered, licking his lips. My eyes widened.

What was his licking lips for? I wanted to slap him in his pretty vampire face for doing that! What the hell?

"What a shame. There's nothing wrong with wanting a taste of what's there before delivery."

"Can't you for once be the least bit tactful, Ade?" He hissed, his voice going from unenthused to aggravated within the seconds.

Ade. _A _was Ade after all like I had hoped? What kind of name was Ade? Perhaps it was a nickname, for Adrian, or Aidan. Ade…

I have to know more. It was killing me.

"It's all in my nature. You know it can't be helped. I'm a slave to my needs, literally. Just tell me she's close by; I want to be better introduced to the girl. It was so much fun the last time."

I gulped. Had I met this Ade person? How? I've never met an Ade, not in all my life. And I'm pretty sure I would remember that voice from somewhere if I had. It seemed to process the ability to get more and more alluring with every second he was on the phone. It sent chills down my spine, and I didn't know what to think about that. About this person who was a 'slave to his needs.' Why did he want to meet me? I'm assuming that who they were talking about was me, after all. Who else could be 'the girl'?"

I didn't like this chat Alec was having. I didn't like the way Ade said the word 'literally', and I didn't like how he said he wanted to get better introduced to me. It made me feel like I was going to be having sex with this person or something. Which wasn't be bad, if I actually wanted to. I didn't know what I wanted. I just wanted to get away from Alec. I wanted to be free to go and live my own life. Not, taken to this…this…

I didn't even know what he was. A vampire? A Nazi?

They seemed to be the same thing in this situation. And Alec? He was the delivere and not in the biblical sense. He was taking me to Ade. He was the one Alec said I belonged to. But why? Why would he do that? I remember Alec saying he was doing a favor for someone by delivering me. Was Ade that person? Ade seems to want to meet me enough. And I shivered at the thought of meeting the face behind the voice.

He didn't have a scary voice. There was no dangerous vibes coming from the sound. And I had a good radar on these sort of things. Maybe Ade wasn't dangerous? Maybe he was good and just desired me? I've seen it happen before; men who were to shy to meet me face first because I was to pretty or something, and in the end those guys got other guys to talk to me for them.

Looking outside, I could see the sun rising so bright it blinded me. The crisp winter leaves, it being March and all, looked so beautiful, even in their brown shade. The metal from the cars in the driveway looked shinier than usual. I could see Alec's car as well, the metal of the rims hitting me in the eyes.

That's when it hit me.

The sun was out, hitting the pavement, making it show like diamonds inbedded within it's surface. Just like Alec's skin.

I looked over at Alec's hand on the table. It glistened for that of a split second, before he quickly moved it away, putting it in his pocket. His eyes automatically shifted around him cautiously, making sure no one had seen. To his benefit, all that remained in the dining room now was Margaret and one other married couple, lost in their own romantic world.

He couldn't go outside. He couldn't draw that much attention to himself. If it's one thing I learned about Alec, it was he didn't like humans knowing he was a vampire. That's why he didn't like me going to the pond or New York City at all. It was his territory and he didn't like me killing, drawing too much attention.

He was stuck here.

And I wasn't.

"We have taken a detour on our way. You need to text me directions again, okay? We'll be leaving a soon as-VANESSA!"

I was out of there within seconds, the light bag that carried my photo album in hand, and racing to the door. I wasn't going in vamp speed, due to humans roaming around. My goal was to run as fast as I could without becoming obvious; to get away from him as quickly as possible. I knew I couldn't run from him forever, but if I ran fast enough and around enough humans, I might have a chance. He couldn't mist-ify me with humans around. He couldn't knock me down now. I was basically home free.

I wasn't going to Ade. I wasn't going with Alec anymore. I had had enough of this. I had my things in my hand, and that's all that mattered. I was leaving behind my other suitcase, but I could care less about mere clothes. As long as I had my pictures, I was good. Before I could even hear my name being called once more, I had the door opened and I was out in the driveway, running.

I turned around to see if I was right about Alec not wanting to show people his vampire skin.

He face showed through the window, his eyes glaring at me.

I was correct. He couldn't get me .

I was done with Alec, I didn't belong to anyone but myself. And I was making a statement. I bit my lower lip and waved at him. His glare seemed more intense with the gesture. Once I knew for sure he wasn't following me, I left Pineapple Hill and onto River Road, the extremely barren road that was right off of the B&B. I kept running, surprised at how beautiful it was here. There were several more old, humungous homes around, but I didn't take the time to stop and admire them. I just needed to get away. However, I didn't exactly know where_ away_ was. All I knew was that I was on a road called River Road, in a town called New Hope in Pennsylvania. But as to where civilization was? I had no clue. I didn't know where anything was.

I didn't know what to think about as I ran. I didn't feel guilty or ashamed for going back on my word to Alec but I did feel some what at a loss. A part of me wanting to celebrate being away from Alec and the other part of me didn't believe it was possible, second guessing myself, I suppose.

Once I was far away from the B&B I took out my cell phone. Google maps was amazing. However, I had no service. Of course I had no service. How convenient. But I couldn't stay in one place. I had to keep moving. After a little while, I found myself walking on the side of the road, cars of all kinds zooming past me, none of them thinking to take pity on a girl walking in high heels! I started walking till I came across a sign that told me I had about five miles before hitting the next gas station. I could get an idea of where I was heading once there, I could ask someone, or feed on them. But then a thought occurred to me.

I needed to plan this right. Alec would know where I've gone. He would be expecting me to go to the next gas station and feed on whoever was there. But what would he not be expecting? I had such short time already. It was becoming noon, and the sky was getting grayer and grayer. I thought about going back to him, but then I remembered the phone call to Ade. And I remembered the fact that if I were to go back, Alec would probably kill me now. I mean, I did run from him; there's no way he would over look that.

"Shit," I muttered, wishing I had watched the weather channel or something. This sky was becoming bipolar. Ahead of me, it was bright and sunny, and in the direction of the B&B, it was stormy and even lightening. There was a storm coming, a bad one by the looks and sounds of it. Thunder growled above, as if to warn me to get the hell away from the storm was on top of the inn, Alec was free to find me, to track my scent. It would be simple for him. I had to get back in the woods and see if I can find a different road, one that would be less predicable.

As soon as I was back in the woods, I heard someone zoom by my left side. I froze, waiting for the unavoidable mist to pop up. Instead, I felt a chill run down my spine, as I saw a blur zoom pass by my right.

"Alec?" I called out, but before I could get a answer, I felt a strong impact crash into me.

It threw me into the air, sending me flying several feet before I crashed into the hard trunk of a tree. My head hit it first, and I cried out as the pain surged through the left side of my scull, all the way down to my cheekbone and chin. My vision was blurry, but I somehow made out the unknown vampire approaching me. It wasn't Alec. This vampire had a dirty blonde colored hair, cropped short. His eyes were pitch black and crazed with hunger. His teeth white and ready to attack.

That's when I knew.

I shouldn't have left Alec. I shouldn't of tried to run. Because now, I was going to be killed by the very species they all tried so hard to protect me from.

My family, my best friend…They all died for nothing.

_I've never been worth it._

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<br>SO! What do you guys think? You guys still like jackass Alec? We do! *giggles gleefully* Who do you think Ade is? =] Or what he is? Vampire? Speaking of vampire, how convenient one found Renesmee, right? We know. But we wanted her to get attacked because she's never been at the other end of it. It might give her a wake up call? Anyways, just tell us in general what you thought and what you predict!  
>Also, on our profile we've posted our LITD playlist, songs that inspire us! And outfits, as is tradition. AND what we see when we think of Alec's car. So check it out.<br>Ask us questions on formspring! Our username is iitm. Or follow us on twitter (iitmx3)**

**We look forward to hearing from you guys!  
>Much love,<br>IITM[=**


	4. Chapter IV: Trust

******Disclaimer: We don't own Alec and Renesmee, for reasons we still don't understand. That doesn't mean we can't pretend and pull on the strings of their puppets, though. Happy reading, darlings!  
>-Cee and Tiff {IITM}<br>[Please read author's note at end of chapter!]******

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><p><strong>Chapter IV: Trust<strong>

It all happened too fast. My eyes couldn't make out exactly what was happening. I wasn't sure if it was because of my blurred vision, my head pounding in my scull, the pain radiating in my face and temple, my ribs that ached, the tears that stung my eyes, or the rain that now poured hard from the grey sky above, but I felt disoriented. I was seriously wondering if I had a concussion. There was too much confusion swarming inside of me to even attempt to defend myself against the vampire.

Where was the vampire? Had he bitten me yet? I'd always heard that vampire bites were the worst pain imaginable. Other than my current injuries, I didn't feel anything else, no heat that made me scream in agony coursing through my veins. Nothing.

I braced myself against the wet forest ground, my hands digging into mud, I tried to pull myself up onto my knees. I hoped from there I might be able to stand, however, I knew that wasn't very likely.

I squinted my eyes, trying desperately to make myself concentrate. All I could see was the rain pounding onto the ground in front of me. It was coming down so hard, that I almost didn't hear the vampire's sinister growl above it. This alarmed me, and it was then I made out that the blonde vampire was rapidly approaching me, not in full speed as he could have, but walking with power nonetheless.

Looking in those charcoal black eyes, I saw something in them that told me he intended to relish on me, take his time as he drained my life away. I couldn't even scream to express my fear. I was too dizzy, too tired. I wasn't use to feeling so weak physically. I never got sick, and any injuries that I had healed quickly and without much pain. But this was a vampire with more strength than I possessed. He was stronger than me. I only possessed about a third of his strength. If my head hadn't been knocked against a tree trunk, I could have ran. I could have possible made of for my strength in the way of speed, but there was no running.

I was frozen in my incapability to think or move.

The vampire was now directly in front of me, crouching down to my helpless little body on the ground. He grabbed my neck in one hand, gripping it tightly as if to choke me, and pushed my up the tree trunk, forcing me to stand. My back scraped along the course texture of the bark, but I didn't even feel it. All I felt was his hand on my skin. I tried pulling air into my lungs, but his grip on my neck was too tight. However, lack of oxygen was the least of my worried now. I stared at his razor sharp teeth baring at me. The rain above continued pouring onto us, and it the water made him look all the more deadly to me.

I felt sick inside as I wondered if this was how I made people feel before I took their lives. I didn't purposely hurt them before hand like he had, and I didn't want to cause them more pain than I had to. But at the end of the day, was I really better than him? I felt as if I didn't have the right to be terrified of what he was about to do to me, when I had to same thing to others.

That's when he took a handful of my hair in his hand, jerking it back harshly. I cried out in pain again. I wouldn't have been surprised if he had pulled out the hair from my scull. His mouth drew near my neck and I felt those sharp teeth graze my skin. I closed my eyes, waiting for the fire to start within myself.

Inside of my chest, my heart beat ferociously in fear, and I knew that with how fast my heart was beating, it would only take seconds for his venom to travel to my heart. That's when it would kill me, that is if the vampire's strength didn't beat it. Perhaps he would drain all of my blood before the venom pierced my heart. Whatever the case, I hoped it would be as quick as possible. But it all seemed like it was being prolonged, somehow. Like he was purposely taking his time to make me that much more terrified. He wanted me to know just what he was doing.

His teeth applied more pressure, but just enough to break my skin. He didn't sink his them into me, but I did feel a small trickle of blood escape from my flesh. It stung me. I wished he would just bite me and get it over with, but then I realized that he never got the chance to completely to so because he was being hauled away from me. I saw his body jerk back, and that's when my own body collapsed back to the ground. Over the rain I could clearly hear a loud, vicious growl breaking through the air. The sound didn't come from my attacker, however.

It came from Alec, who was now grasping this vampire by his neck. I stared at his face. Never before had I seen him look so absolutely furious. Sure, he's gotten really pissed at me. But if he ever looked at me the way he looked at that vampire?

I'd be begging for death.

I watched him, never before so completely enthralled. He was soaking wet from head to toe, his clothes clinging to him, his hair shining like black silk. The arm that grasped onto the vampire's neck was flexed, the muscles defining themselves rather beautifully. Even the way he stood was captivating. His contacts had faded, and now his eyes burned red with ferocity. He cut them to me intensely, and I stared back into his eyes, my mouth falling open. With that one little glance to me, I felt as though it sent a thousand messages to me all at once. I saw anger, shock, relief, horror, and even slightest bit of betrayal. However, when he focused back on the vampire, it all resumed to fifty percent hatred and fifty percent wrath. His lips were pulled back, and I heard him growl once more, the sound sending shivers through me.

The vampire didn't even try to fight back! He just stared at Alec in utter fear, his eyes wide and desperate. That wasn't normal. A vampire's instincts always told him to fight, to defend himself, to kill. This vampire could have done so, he could have fought to defend himself, and he would have probably done a good job at doing so. But he didn't. He just stood in fear, just as I watched with utter fascination and horror all at once.

Then Alec spoke. I don't know what I would have expected him to say, I don't know what I thought he would have been feeling at this moment. But when he said what he did, it took me completely off guard.

"_Not. My. Hersheys_."

It wasn't so much what he said, but how he said it. He didn't say it like I was his property. He said it as if I were his equal, someone he sought to protect, someone he cared about. Also, he used that name again. Hersheys. He didn't say, 'Not her,' or 'Not Vanessa.

Not my Hersheys. _My_ _Hersheys_.

It made my heart clench inside of my chest, and suddenly the traces of that vampire's cold, stone and harsh touch was banished, replaced by warmth that began to spread throughout my limbs. In that couple of seconds, I had completely forgotten why I had ever disliked him, why I had ever doubted him. Although I knew it was only a matter of time before everything I hated about him would resurface and I'd be reminded of why I ran away from him in the first place.

I saw Alec's other hand reach out towards the back of the vampire's head, while the hand that had been on his neck now moved upward a bit to grasp his jaw. I closed my eyes shut tight, knowing what he was going to do. I didn't want to see it.

I heard the harsh sound that reminded me of metal scraping against another hard surface. I flinched at the sound, my arms instinctively wrapping around my torso, like that would protect me. Then, within that same second, I felt cool hands, gentle as if they were touching fine porcelain, touching me.

"Vanessa? Are you hurt? Look at me, Hersheys!"

His voice was frantic, concerned. I opened my eyes, staring at him as if I was meeting an angel. He was so beautiful. Water dripped from his hair to his eyelashes, then to his cheeks and eventually it found his lips. All the while he eyes were fixed on me, the vengeful heat no longer taking purchase in his eyes.

"I knew you were going to find me…you jerk." I muttered, hinting at a joke. He didn't appear to think it amusing.

He tilted my neck, and I heard a hiss break through his teeth.

"Does that hurt? Did any of its venom get into your bloodstream?" He questioned, panic rising in his voice. I shook my head, as I still didn't fee any blood curdling pain.

"I don't think so…but my head hurts…he threw me…do I have a bruise?" I touched my cheek bone, wincing once my skin made contact. He pulled my hand away, his expression angry as he stared at my cheek.

"Yes…" It was said through clenched teeth. He looked as though he wouldn't mind reassembling the vampire just so he could kill him again.

I frowned, trying to picture how horrible I looked about now.

"That's…just wonderful."

"It should heal quickly, shouldn't it?"

I frowned. I wanted to say yes. I wanted to believe I would heal fast like I normally did. But I had good reason to believe it wouldn't. I'd never had this happen before.

"I don't think I do so great when it comes to a vampire's strength," I sighed. "I mean…if the hickey you gave me hasn't gone away, I doubt this will."

He tensed at me mentioning it and was about to say something, probably to argue. But I held my hand up to hush him, shaking my head.

"There's no use in pretending you didn't see it earlier," I sighed, shifting to test out how badly I was hurt. I winced. It was bad. Worse than anything I'd ever felt before. "I'm not oblivious."

Alec gave one of his humorless laughs, like he thought that was a ridiculous thing for me to say. Then he fixed his eyes on me, and I felt like I was shrinking right there and then.

That's when it all seemed to come back to me. His phone call with Ade, the way I was discussed like traded goods. I had no idea what he was going to do with me now. I had pissed him off by leaving, I could see that in his eyes through the window at the B&B. I doubted that was all completely dissolved now.

He did save me from the vampire, but was the only so he could kill me himself? I remembered the way he said it, the look in his eyes. I didn't sense that he wanted to cause me any harm. He was…protecting me. At least, that's what it seemed like. I didn't know how to even begin processing that.

Why was he so difficult to understand? He doesn't like me, but he protects me. He protects me, but he trades me off to this unknown source named Ade like I'm nothing to him. I'm apparently nothing to him, but he the way he said Hersheys just a couple of minutes ago was as if he were speaking of a goddess.

Never in my life had I ever been so confused, so conflicted, and so drawn to any man like I was to him. I didn't even understand myself anymore.

I supposedly hate him, but feel like I'm on fire every time he touches me. I run away from him, but know that he's found me I feel as though I never should have left. He pisses me off, but then he laughed like he did the night before, cluing me in on another side of him. Knowing I shouldn't want to know more about him makes me all the more desperate to find out answers.

The way he looked at me now, it made me feel small. Perhaps not small as in stupid, but small as in thoughtless and irrational. I was too hasty in leaving, obviously. If I hadn't left, I would have never gotten attacked. Was I really the safest right now under his care? How could I be safe, when I knew I was on my way to the dangerous unknown? How messed up was that? I shouldn't have felt safe. I should have been petrified. However, I don't think anything was more scary than almost being killed by a nomadic vampire. I didn't want that to happen again.

So, despite all million of our differences, the confusion and confliction on my end and the bipolar tendencies from him, I had no choice but to go along with what he said. One, because there was no way he was ever going to let it happen again, I knew that much. I'd be on an even tighter leash than before. And two, I was too paranoid to even consider leaving his side right now. I mean, what if this blonde vamp had friends? What if they wanted to avenge his death? No way in hell was I about to go for another stroll in the woods by myself. Oh, and three…I literally needed him. I didn't know right now if I was going to be able to stand on my own, let alone walk.

"If you knew I was going to find you, then why did you even bother running?" Asked Alec, his voice irritated but soft. As if I hurt his feelings.

"Well…at first I thought I had a chance…the sun was out and-"

"You thought that would have given you time to get enough distance from me?" He should his head, his eyes closing and sighing through his nose. "You were sorrowfully mistaken."

"Obviously…it started to storm." I muttered bitterly.

"Storm or no storm, I would have found you regardless. However, perhaps you shouldn't sound so disappointed over the fact it started doing so. If it had not started raining, I wouldn't have been able to leave that inn as quickly as I did." His body stiffened, his voice strained. I saw his hands clench into fists

"And if I hadn't gotten here when I did-"

"Alec, I know, okay? I'm aware of what would have happened. I have a brand new scar to prove it." I pointed to my neck, and I heard him growl low in his chest.

"You could have been killed."

"I know."

"If you were anyone else-"

"I would be dead." I finished for him.

He brushed his hand across my cheek again, his thumb gracing across my bottom lip. My heart, though it shouldn't have, responded to him. It was pounding in my body, this time not out of fear, but out of anticipation and excitement. His cold body radiated against mine, and I saw steam rolling of off my heated skin. Perhaps the rain played some part in that, but I liked to think it was my body's natural reaction to his.

I wanted him to kiss me. I don't know why I wanted him to, but I did. I wanted to reach up and feel his lips on mine. It was the most bizarre feeling, wanting to kiss him. But it was there. The need was so strong I had to restrain myself from acting on them. I felt his thumb still on my lips, and I stared his own, wondering just how soft they were. They looked like satin and they were so deliciously full, especially his bottom lip. It looked as though it was just begging to be played with, to be sucked on, bitten or tugged.

I really was a idiot, wasn't I? I mean he was the troll. Always mean, even when he was attempting to be civil. There was nothing remotely kind or admirable about him. But here I was, wanting to feel his kiss. I was insane. I blinked downwards, pulling my eyes off of his mouth and becoming aware of the thoughts coming to my mind.

I took a deep breath, composing myself. I then slowly, using his shoulders for support, pulled myself up onto my knees, then legs, pleased that I had regained the strength to stand.

Suddenly, Alec's hand gripped my chin. My eyes widened as he pulled me to his face. And that mouth of his, the one I had been fantasizing about seconds ago? It was inches from mine.

"Don't. You. _Ever_ do that to me again." He hissed. He was so close I could taste his breath inside of my mouth. It watered instantly.

I nodded quickly. And that's when he helped me walk back up to the road, where he parked his baby on the side of it. My head hammered as I tried to regain some control. I breathed in and out of my nose. Once I was in the safety of the car, I felt warmth quickly surround me. My hands trembled as I buckled up my seat belt. I leaned my head back, sighing once more as I pulled down the visor and looked at my reflection in the mirror.

I looked like shit, to put it nicely. My hair clung to the sides of my face and neck. My eye make up dripped down my cheek that now had a heavy bruise. It was now swollen and tender to the touch.

I saw Alec zoom back into the woods, too fast really for my eyes to see. I suspected he was lighting the body on fire or something. Perhaps twenty seconds later, he returned in that same speed and I was surprised to see my small suitcase in his hands. I had obviously dropped them when I was being thrown like a rag doll across the woods. My eyes widened in horror as I realized I had completely forgotten about it, and were it not for Alec, I would have left those pictures. He put the suitcase in the backseat, and I let out yet another sigh, this time out of relief. I had to be thankful to him for bringing it back to me.

I didn't know what to expect now, what to say or if I should apologize. So, I just kept quiet. I knew I didn't want to be sorry for what happened. After all, it was my life he owned. But a part of me did feel regret for turning back on my word. I'd never done that before, purposely going against what I agreed to. I was so stupid. Minus the brave.

After Alec finally got settled in, I felt his eyes on me. The pressure around the car grew as if the area was shrinking around us. His red eyes glared at me with distaste. I wanted him to go ahead and kill me, to say I was dumb, or a slut or something, but I didn't. Instead he just started the car and we drove.

Wasn't long before I found myself talking to him. Curiosity getting the best of me, as per usual.

"You confuse me." I said in almost a whisper, Alec didn't say anything, his eyes still staring at the road. "You know that, don't you? You're really confusing. You're selling me to this 'Ade' guy, yet you save me from that vampire. I don't get it."

"I can't sell you if you're dead." Alec said without blinking.

I stared at him incredulously, completely taken back by his statement.

"Why do you want to sell me?"

Seconds passed without a word, and I raised my eyebrows. I was growing sick and tired of not knowing anything. I was growing desperate here. The longer I stayed with him, the more I wanted to know. I was practically dying now. I just couldn't take this.

"Why?" I asked again, my voice rising without me realizing it.

Alec glanced towards me and back at the road. His lips twisted as if pondering the thought.

"I'm not selling you to Ade, Vanessa."

"Oh?"

"I'm trading you. Paying a debt I owe. It's nothing personal."

I scoffed.

Nothing personal my ass. This was my life he was taking from me and he was giving it to someone else. Someone who I didn't know, nor trusted. How could that not be personal? How could he think this wouldn't effect me as much as it did? He had to know this was wrong. He had to. I fought the urge to ask him if he had a soul. But then I realized I has pissed him off enough for one day. And I already knew the answer, regardless of what he thought. No person would trade a person off and have a soul. It was impossible.

Which means my so nice protector here was in fact hollow. I wanted to laugh at all of this, to try and ease the tension that suddenly surfacing around the car, but every sound that came from me sounded like I was on the verge of crying.

But I wouldn't cry. Not in front of him. I had promised myself I wouldn't do that. I was already weak enough in his presence without adding tears.

"What debt is it? How is it so important you have me taken-"

"That is the least of your concerns." Alec snapped, I could tell by his demeanor he was growing uneasy with the topic. But I didn't mind. I've been living in the dark for too long now. I had to know where my future laid. I was done with all of this.

So I pressed on.

"Ade is…a vampire?"

"Ade is...not."

Well, at least he answered me that. Though how honest was he now? Was he lying to me? How could I tell? And if Ade wasn't a vampire then what was he? Human? Because if he was human, I would feel less scared by all this. One quick snap of the neck and I'm home free. But somehow, Alec didn't seem the type to interfere with humans a lot. In fact, he seems kind of the antisocial type. I couldn't even picture him at a party full of people. All I could see him being was alone.

I wonder if he got lonely.

Ugh. Stop, Renesmee! Jeez.

"Then what is he?" I asked, waving my hands in the air.

Alec shrugged. "Interested."

"In me?"

He nodded once.

Getting answers from Alec was like hitting a brick wall. There was no getting a straight answer from him, and it was pissing me off. I mean come, why not tell me these things? Why keep every single thing a secret from me? Why delay the unavoidable? I belonged to Ade. I belonged to a thing that had a certain interest in me. Sometime soon, I was going to see him. Not knowing when, however, was also something that bugged me. Every time we stopped somewhere, I grew anxious, wondering if this was when my life changed forever.

Sitting back, I could see that we were passing by the storm. The gray clouds cast over the blue sky. I placed my finger on the glass of the car window, and made designs against the fog. I drew stick people and made a baby print using the side of my fist and putting five little dots on top. Needless to say I was growing bored.

I didn't want to turn to look at Alec, as I knew if I did I would just be torturing myself. He didn't want to be straight with me. And just looking at him made me have tons of unanswered questions. So to not to tempt myself, I stared only out the window. I would be quiet as he so many times wished.

After a while of the silence, I felt myself drift to sleep. I dreams consisted of home and my family.

It was a rough dream. One that I barely remembered. I could recall the emotions, though. Where was disappointment, longing, and pain. A lot of pain. But not all of it was coming from me. And I knew why too.

I was disappointing them.

Waking up, I realized we had stopped for gas again. Alec was no where to be seen. I looked to see if my bruise was still apparent, when I started hearing a buzzing sound coming from between the seats. Releasing my seat belt, I reached over and realized it was Alec's phone again. With the name "A" lighting up. I held my breathe, and looked around the gas station. Alec must've still been inside paying.

Looking at the phone as if it were an alien. Then, not really consciously thinking about what I was doing, I picked it up and quickly answered it, bringing the phone to my ear. I bit my lip at I heard the voice speak from the other end.

"Alec?" The voice asked, it was the same voice from before. This was Ade. My master now.

"Alec's not here." I replied sharply.

The other end of the line went silent, and for a quick moment, I wondered if I should of answered at all. Or if this would only cause me more harm than good. This was something I should of considered before picking up the phone, but once again, I didn't think things through. That seemed to be pattern lately.

"So it seems." Ade purred, and I felt chills running down my spine and it wasn't in a necessarily bad thing either. His voice was even more alluring than before now that he was talking directly to me. I could feel my breathing become uneven as my nervousness bounced around my body.

"Look, I don't know who you are, or what you are. But I don't want to meet you. I have no desire of that." I declared, glancing back to the gas station. Where the heck was Alec?

"No desire at all?"

"No. So whatever you want from me, just forget it. I am not someone's sex-pet okay? I'm-I'm-"

"Sexually deprived. Clearly. Has Alec not told you anything? I had hoped he would explain things by now." Ade retorted with a sigh.

I bit my lip and closed my eyes. My pulse quickened with each word he spoke. And I didn't know if it was because of fear, or because of the sound of his voice. He sounded…dare I say, sexy?

What the hell?

"Please tell me what you want from me? Who are you?"

"And mess up the game Alec is playing? Does he know you're answering his phone?"

He took my silence as a confirmation and Ade began to tut teasingly through the phone, clearly enjoying my misbehavior for some reason. Though for the life of me, I didn't know why. It's like he wanted Alec to be pissed at me or something.

Trying to make up for the lack of time I had with this guy, I tried to think of a question that kept finding itself back into my head. A question I thought was the most important.

"Are you going to hurt me?" Even when I asked it, the words didn't seem to be coming from me.

Since when did I become so scared for my life and well being? Oh right, when I got slaved into this bullshit by a vampire who has apparently abandoned me alone in his car.

You'd think he would at least check on me, considering just hours before, I ran from him. Then again, he knew I wasn't as stupid as he says. I wasn't going anywhere.

Ade groaned then and I swear if I knew what this guy looked like, I could picture him shaking his head. I wondered what he did look like. If he was a blonde, or brunette. Did he have blue eyes or green? I don't know why it interested me to know the appearance of this guy, but with a voice like that, he had to be good looking.

"Hurting you is the last thing I want. It goes against who and what I am, Vanessa. I hope one day you can believe that..."

With that, the line ended. I blinked and looked at the phone number before me. I didn't know much about area codes, but the area code for this number was three-two-three. Once I memorized the three digits, I felt Alec come up to my window. His eyes narrowing as he could clearly see his phone in my hand.

"What the-"

"Ade called. You weren't here." I reasoned.

Alec opened my car door roughly and snatched the cell from my fingers, making me wince in the process. He went to his trunk and returned, throwing something at me. I looked down to see what it was and smiled widely as I saw the red pouch.

Alec gave me blood.

By the smell of it's deliciousness, it was human blood. My throat ached instantly as I ripped off the top of the bag, and gulped it down. The blood rushing through my veins. My body rejoiced. I knew it wasn't fresh but it did a wonder compared to the fast food that I still wanted to throw up. I looked over at Alec, who was now starting the car, with thanks in mind. I was about to tell him I appreciated it, but he cut me off before I even opened my month.

"Don't thank me."

"You did something nice for once, and I'm not allowed to be grateful?"

"No. You're injured. I thought the blood could help. Get it on my car, and you will lose an arm if not more."

"You don't scare me, you know." I said, proud of myself that I at least sounded like I meant it. When in reality, Alec scared me very much. More than Ade, even.

"I know." His smile was grim and the light didn't reach to his eyes. I bit my lip and continued to suck on the blood.

It was blissful in my mouth. I threw my head back and couldn't resist the moan that escaped. Oh, how I had missed this. Not only was the taste exploding within my mouth, I could already start to feel the effects of what the blood was going to me. I felt stronger, my body didn't hurt as much. I knew that for me to completely heal, it would take more than this bag, but it was a start. I pulled down the visor again and looked at my reflection. The bruise, still there, had lightened just a bit, now a soft lavender color, rather than the dark plum it was before.

"It's helping," I announced, hearing the smile and relief in my own voice.

"Just don't get accustomed to this, Vanessa." He warned me "It's just this once. Why I'm even doing this for you, I still don't know. I should let you suffer after what you did."

I remained silent, not knowing what to say. On one hand, I got why he thought I was stupid. But if he only cared to see things from my perspective, he would know why I thought I needed to run away. But in his mind, I made a deal. Whatever he decided to do with me was his choice and I was supposed to just go along with it, no questions asked.

I was beginning to realize that was the only option I had. Go along with it. However, I had many questions to be asked. That couldn't be helped. No way, no how. He'd just have to deal with that.

"What did the humans at the bed and breakfast think after I…sprinted?"

"What do you think they thought?" He snapped, his eyes slicing towards me, now appearing to be angry. "They were concerned, didn't know what had upset you. They obviously thought it was me. Thank you for that, by the way."

I ignored the sarcasm. "So, what did you tell them?"

"That we had an argument the night before, that you were still upset with me and needed some fresh air to think things through." He rolled his eyes, obviously finding his made up story ridiculous. "Idiots that they were, they believed it.

"Had you not found me…injured…would you have hurt me yourself?" I heard the words slip through my mouth. It had been something I wondered. And I had to know if my theory about him protecting me was true.

His head turned to stare at me, and for once it looked like I had caught him off his guard. His eyebrows pulled together, all his features twisting and tightening.

"Is that what you think I would have done?" Those crimson eyes were conflicted, almost vulnerable. I stared into them, watching the way the looked at me with that expression. The way Alec looked at me was as if I had betrayed him. "You think I wanted to hurt you?"

I shrugged my shoulders awkwardly, the words getting caught in my throat.

"Answer me." It wasn't a request. His voice was like a stone cold commandment that was being carved into me.

"I didn't know what you would do once you found me," I admitted, my voice straining to remain calm. "Once I saw it was starting to storm, I knew you would be coming for me. I knew you'd be furious. Then, when you saved me, I thought maybe that wasn't your intention but then I thought that maybe you killed him because you wanted to finish me off yourself. However, I started thinking that you if you wanted to hurt me you could have done so after you killed him but you didn't so-"

"No," he interrupted sharply, shaking his head to himself, muttering something under his breath I couldn't understand. "Though sometimes I'm very tempted, it wasn't my goal to hurt you."

So he really was defending me from that vampire scum. Of course, it was only because he needed me alive to get me to Ade, right? So why did I get all warm and tingly when I recalled the way he sounded?

_'Not. My. Hersheys.'_

I swear, that was going to seep into my dreams at night. I couldn't stop analyzing it. He said I was his, which wasn't new. But, damn it, the way he said it! When he said it, I really wanted to be his. I was happy to be his. Then, I wanted him to kiss me while he touched my face the way he did, so tenderly. The way his thumb brushed over my lips, I could almost still feel it.

Oh, man, I am in trouble.

He's your enemy, Renesmee. He's trading you to what it seems, a sex addict.

Speaking of that sex addict…

"When you and this Ade guy were talking on the phone, he made it sound as if we had met before. But the thing is, I would have recognized that voice, had I heard it before." I said truthfully, remembering how it just seems to purr, the sound resembling that of sex. I never knew a voice could resemble sex, but his did, that's for sure.

Alec's mouth tightened and I saw his eyes narrow, sometime I knew he only did when he was displeased, annoyed or angry about something.

"He's seen you before." That was all he said.

"Seen me before?" I repeated, my head tilting. He nodded.

"Um…where?"

"That's enough questions, Vanessa." Great, there was the brick wall again.

"Why? Because you say so? Because you don't feel like answering?" I was getting angry again, my voice rising and filling the car. "I'm going to find out regardless, am I not? By the sounds of this guy, I don't think he'll care if you tell me."

"He can tell you anything his heart desires, once you are in his possession. As of right now, you are in mine. And I do care what you are and aren't aware of."

"Just tell me why it's me he wants, Alec! Tell me something!" I practically begged. My arms were using themselves to emphasize my desperation. I couldn't stand all this secrecy, this mystery. I was going mad with the need to know my fate.

I hated not being in control of my own life, not choosing for myself. All I had done for the past two years was make my own choices, even if they weren't always the most wise. The point it, I knew where I was heading. Now I was completely blindfolded and at the mercy of a vampire and an unknown source. Deep down, that really terrified me.

"Hersheys!" Him speaking that name cut off any thought process I had momentarily, and it left me frozen. He had my attention. "You think you want to know why, and how, and whatever it is that you've driven yourself crazy with inside that head of yours. But trust me when I say, the longer you remain clueless, the better off it is for you."

I scoffed, folding my arms over my breasts.

"Because you say so?" I repeated.

"Because I know so." He corrected.

I wanted to scream. Scream at the top of my lungs, so loud and so clear that even the heavens would hear my frustration and torment. I wanted to throw a fit, actually. I wanted to destroy anything and everything in my path, to release the tension I felt building within myself. I knew I was seconds away from exploding, and what I did when that happened, I had no idea.

He was giving me NOTHING, and he had the nerve to tell me it was for my own good?

I sighed, gripping onto the locks of my hair tightly, quite tempted to start pulling them out. I felt like I was actually shaking, actually, I think I was shaking. My head that had been starting to feel better before, now starting to pound once more in my scull. Was I having a panic attack or something? Heavy breathing, shaking body, heart pounding, head screaming, tight chest…none of it sounded good.

"…Vanessa?" Alec's voice sounded distant, but from what I could make of it, it seemed concerned.

I didn't answer. All I could focus on was trying to calm myself down. I had never felt this anxious and angry before, at least not with anything like this. Usually when I felt overwhelmed, it all had to do with my past. This, however, was concerning my future and where I'd end up.

I knew nothing of Ade, nothing at all. Was he evil? I didn't know. Was he some sort of rapist? I didn't know. Would I be his slave for life? I had no idea.

Alec did. He didn't care to share it with me. Apparently, being in denial is better off than knowing where you're going in his eyes. Just like he said, I was better off not knowing for as long as possible. Was it THAT bad?

"Hersheys, are you okay?"

I laughed bitterly, the sound rippling out of my mouth. I tilted my head back, preventing the tears from overflowing.

"No, _Licorice_…I'm really not." I replied, my voice like acid. "I know you don't like me, Alec…I get it, I annoy you. You think I talk too much, my facial features don't please you, and it offends you when I say your name. You think I'm a whore; I can handle that. You can even _call_ me a whore, I can still take it. But what you're doing to me now? This exceeds disliking. This is something you do to someone you hate. It's psychological torture, is what it is. I feel…I feel like I'm suffocating within myself. Does that make you happy? Are you pleased with yourself?"

That was the most open I had ever been with him. It was more honest than I would have preferred, and I was probably going to regret it later. I just couldn't keep pretending like none of this effected me. Before finding out about Ade, I didn't worry too much about what would become of me, stupidly enough. And now, it was all I could think about.

I shouldn't have even said anything, there was no point.

I had to remind myself of why I had done this to begin with. The pictures. The reminder of who I was before. The faces of the people I loved printed out on paper. The one possession I truly relied on and held close to me. So whatever happened now…at least I still had them with me in some form. That thought comforted me a little, but it also was a remembrance of the cold and empty feeling inside of me.

They were only pictures, after all. I could take them with me everywhere I went, but that didn't mean I felt their presence. I could even talk to them through their photographs, but much like the vampire next to me who didn't say anything back to me, neither would the they.

We sat there in silence for a long time, so long that I eventually didn't even feel the tension anymore lingering between us. I turned my head, watching him as he looked at the road ahead. He felt my gaze, and reacted by shifting is eyes to meet with mine. I didn't look away, but held eye contact, as if initiating a challenge to see who would look away first.

Alec lost, going back to devoting all his efforts into driving his precious car. But that was when he finally broke the silence.

"I said it wasn't anything personal," he repeated. He could have said it all day, but it didn't make much difference inside my head.

"Then what is it!" I snapped, the frustration resurfacing. "Oh, that's right, you have a debt. And I am just so conveniently what he wants. Out of every single woman on this planet, he wants me." I placed a hand to my chest dramatically.

"Yes, he does want you out of them all. And I do indeed owe him something." His voice was hard. "I need something from him, something that is very crucial, but he wont give it to me unless I give him something in return."

I rolled my eyes. "I thought you were friends. A friend would give you something because you needed it."

"He doesn't exactly work that way. Though he is a friend of mine, we both know what to expect of each other. When he does me a favor, I'm sure to return it. Just as when I do something for him, I expect payment." He explained, shrugging his shoulders casually. I gawked at him, shaking my head violently.

"That isn't the way friendship works!" I protested.

I wasn't exactly the expert when it came to friendship, considering how I didn't have any. But I have before; even if it was only one. However, it gave me a good insight of what good friendship was. Jacob and I were best friends, he would have done anything for me. That's what friends were.

_You fail to remember the only reason he gave a shit about you was because you were Imprinted, Renesmee._

Okay…reality hurt. But still, he was a friend. I had a hard time believing real friends used each other like that. Someone like Alec didn't have friends at all. How could he have been? Someone would have had to get along with him, and it was hard picturing that ever happening.

"It's realistic," he corrected bitterly.

I scoffed.

"The truth is, this has nothing to do about a debt, Alec. You're just a heartless bastard who is trading me to sex Ade up, simply because you can." I spat venomously. My voice then dropped to a whisper. "You might as well of let that vampire kill me."

I hiss came from Alec, and suddenly the car was stopped on the side of the road. Once again, I had pissed him off enough to get him to pull over. Apparently I was really good at that. Only this time, I didn't know what I had said to get him to stop.

I was just being honest. I almost wished that vampire had killed me. It would have been better than dealing with the likes of Alec. It would have been better than living everyday for absolutely nothing. I had no reason to wake up in the morning. I thought I had before, I thought I had a life that I could live with but he had taken that from me. And now? I had nothing but brain torture following me everywhere I went and Ade waiting on the other side. And I was just fed up with it all. I wanted to never wake up. I wanted to die.

Maybe that sounded depressing and morbid but that was how it was for me now. There was no light around me. And sure, some people would consider me to be a drama queen about now, but no one understood how I felt. Not even Alec. And I felt like I couldn't breathe anymore. And the topic of friendship really did bug me. Why? Because I was no better than him. I told him friends didn't use each other, when really how the hell was I suppose to know? As I said, Jacob was my only friend. And he was gone. He left me. I wasn't important enough to stick around with. I was a burden.

Why didn't I think of this before?

Because before I had distractions. And now my distractions were gone!

THANK YOU SO MUCH, ALEC.

"You don't understand, I'm-"

"I get it!" I snapped, my emotions boiling inside of me, so much that I couldn't hold them in anymore. "You don't care. Nothing personal. You're not a friend. You're a monster. You don't have to like me because you're doing a job. You're unfeeling and have no heart, but you know what, Alec? Sometimes, sometimes I feel…Ugh, just leave me alone!"

Alec blinked at the tone of my voice, showing expressions of shock. I bit my lip because I was about to tell him...what was I about to say, exactly? That sometimes, I feel like he had a soul? A pure, beautiful soul? Yeah, that I could never tell him. Not when he's doing this shit to me. Not when I'm being sold. I'd die first.

Alec groaned and didn't say a word. And for a second I thought he was going to pull back onto the road, returning to the journey off to my new master, but instead, we just sat there with the car running. I turned my head slightly and peeked up through my lashes at Alec, whose eyes were staring straight ahead into space. His grip on the wheel was tight and unnerving, the set of his jaw stressed. He looked like a living statue. Perhaps I I had angered him the point of my death.

I would welcome it; anything to get me out of this life. Out of this car. Out his his presence. Away from the confusion and conflict he caused me, the thoughts he made me have, the unspeakable things I sometimes found myself wanting to do with him. Away from his eyes, his voice, the manner in which he stood or sat, the way his mouth curved into that sinister smirk. His scent, yes, I wanted to be free of that scent of his. It infuriated me how enticing it was. And constantly sitting in his car, it was EVERYWHERE, as if it had absorbed into his seats, into the pages of his books, his phone smelled like him. Hell, I was probably starting to smell like him, being stuck beside him all the time. Even the air that surrounded him was infuriating for it resembled him. It makes you think that you want it, but then he starts talks to you and ruins it. He blackmails you and trades you.

"What do you wish for me to do? Let you go?" I heard him asked out of the blue.

I looked away from him and out the window, slowly closing my eyes. I felt tears burn beneath my lids.

"It doesn't matter what I want. You made that clear."

"You will not be a sex slave, Hersheys." His voice sounded like he was trying to comfort me, as if he thought that would make me feel better. He really was twisted in the head if he thought everything would be better if I knew sex wasn't in my future with Ade.

"Sounds like it to me. Isn't that why he wants me?

"Adriel wants you in that...way, yes, but it's not because he chooses it."

What the hell, he's selling me The Little Mermaid! What the heck kind of name is Ariel for a guy? I couldn't help but voice this to him. As it's apart of who I am to speak my mind, being that my brain was broken.

"Ariel?" I scoffed, choking on a mockful laugh.

"AD-RI-EL," Alec corrected, emphasizing on the sylibles." His name is Adriel. And it's in his nature to want to fill his sexual needs. It can't be helped. But I promise you, it's also in his nature not to force himself on anyone. It goes against his moral code and everything that he is."

I had to laugh at the topic of _Adriel's_ moral code, since he was the one who got Alec to take me from everything I knew. Still, I guess I did feel a little better knowing I didn't have to have sex with Adriel if I didn't want to. Would I be naïve to believe that, though? Adriel did say he didn't want to hurt me, that he hoped I believed it one day. But I didn't know. Who has sexual desires that cannot be controlled? Unless they were mentally sick?

"Is he a sex addict on crack or something?"

Alec smirked, a chuckle escaping his perfect lips.

"Something like that. I really wish you weren't so curious, Hersheys."

"Well, it cannot be helped. With every answer comes more questions. You say I wont be forced but how do I know that? How do I know I can trust this Adriel?"

"Because you can trust me."

My eyes widened as I busted into fits of laughter.

Trust. Ha. Trusting Alec was a foreign concept to me right now, which made me confused all the more. He gave me no reason to trust him. He said it wasn't anything personal, that I was not his friend, that I had to sit here with my thoughts while he knew everything.

No, I definitely did not trust Alec. I think I trused Adriel more than I trusted Alec. And that was saying something, based off of what I knew of the mystery man so far. I didn't even know what he looked like.

"You told me you didn't like me-"

"Yes, but you don't have to like someone to have trust." Alec interuppted.

I rolled my eyes. "So, you hate me but you want me to trust you? You want me to believe you're heartless and cruel, yet you want me to confide in you my trust. _Hmm…_" I gripped my chin with my thumb and index finger, furrowing my brow, giving off the effect that I was really consdiering the notion of it. "How about hell no? Does that work for you?"

Alec rubbed his face, traveling upwards to his hair, running his fingers through it in frustration. He was trying to figure out what to say. I was going to enjoy this.

"I told you Adriel's name. I saved you from a vampire's attack-"

"Yes. I got a name of a master who you're trading me to. Thank you so much. I have so much informatin now I might as well write a novel about it." I smiled sarcasically.

Alec's eyes narrowed, but I knew he could see my point. He didn't like me. I didn't trust him. That's how it was going to go. I didn't have to trust him. And he knew that. Hell, I think he even understood it. Because he, dare I say it, looked hurt. I saw pain flashing acrossed his eyes. I wanted to roll mine, had it not been for the fact that the look on his face kind of bruised me to see. Damn him. Then again, I couldn't help myself from thinking about the irony of all this. He's hurt because I didn't trust him? Yet I wasn't allowed to be hurt over what he was doing to me? He had such double standard.

"Don't worry, Alec." I added, nodding slowly. "It's nothing personal."

Alec muttered something that not even I couldn't hear.

"Fine. If I got to know you...hell, if I said _one_ nice thing about you, would you trust me and leave the questions alone?"

"Do you want to get to know me?" I questioned, cocking an eyebrow, etching my eyes into him.

What's the point of him knowing me if in the end he'd use it to insult me more? I had to be sure we came to a understanding in this, 'Lets get to know each other,' bull. Alec nodded.

"I want to hear you say it, Alec."

"Why?"

"Because, it would be nice to hear. Plus, I enjoy torturing you." I replied honestly.

He scoffed. "Fine, I want to know you."

"Why is that, Alec?" I pressed with a satisfied smile to my lips.

Alec narrowed his, glaring at me openly now.

"Because, I want you to trust me with this."

I shivered and looked him in the eyes. The convention over wanting me to trust him seemed quite honorable. And I'd be lying if I said I didn't want him to like me, even if our situation was a bit messed up. How the heck did I find myself wanting to agree to this bullshit? How did I end up in this place?

"If you get to know me, I have to know you." I said. "Trust can't work if I don't know who I'm trusting."

Alec seemed really torn by his thoughts. His face was tense and conflicted. I wondered why it was so hard for him to open up to me. I mean, I realize him liking me will probably take a while but why was it so hard for him to show me a little bit of him? It was like hitting a brick wall, a wall he built himself to block anyone from coming in. Oddly enough, it had me curious. Was he really as bad he seemed? Did I care?

Nope. I didn't care. But trusting him was something I kind of needed in my new life. I needed to know what he was willing to tell me was the truth.

"Do you want to know me?" He asked.

I shook my head. "No, I don't. But I have to."

"Do I have a choice?"

I shook my head again. Alec looked down a smile crossing his face. That was different; him smiling at me, it was as if we were back in that hotel.

After he finally pulled back onto the highway, I was starting to feel confused on how this was going to work. Were we just going start being honest with each other? Play twenty-one questions? I believed Alec was honest on some things, like his feelings regarding me, and his distaste. So I knew I could trust him on his answers, but how far will this go? How much was I willing to share with him? Did I tell him the truth regarding who I was? I would be two-faced if I didn't. After all Trust breeds Trust. You can't have this one sided, right? But telling him stuff like my name, and about my parents was dangerous. If the Volturi were still around and found out about me because of Alec, I wouldn't last a week on my own. They would find me and kill me. And I know moments ago I said I wanted to die, but I didn't want the Vollturi to be the ones to kill me. I didn't want to go like that. I just couldn't let them win. Not again.

"Hersheys…what's on your mind?" Asked Alec, breaking my train of thought.

"Uh. Can I ask you something?"

"I suppose. If we're really going to do this, you'll have lots of questions about me."

"I do, actually."

"Alright. All I ask is that these questions are about me, not Ade."

"Fine." I agreed, seeing that in order to get to Adriel, I have to get passed the subject that was driving me to him. Maybe finding out how Alec knew Adriel would shed some light on the mystery master. But I wasn't stupid enough to actually ask how they knew each other. Not yet. Alec would never answer that. I could just see the red flag going off right now.

Yes, questions about Adriel would have to wait. I've been asking about him forever, and I haven't gotten anything. So maybe this will in fact benefit me and my sanity. For I did have many unanswered questions about dearest Alec.

Looking in the back seat of the car, I could see the books of poetry still sitting there, loking quite worn out.

"Whose your favorite?" I asked, motioning to the back seat.

Alec looking and turned back to the road. "Favorite Writer?"

I nodded.

"To name a few, I enjoy Robert Frost, Emily Dickenson, Oscar Wilde...I even enjoy some Edgar Allan Poe. Depending on the poem. There are so many others."

I wasn't going to tell him this, but his choice in writers frightened me. Edgar Allen Poe scared the shit out of me most of the time. I mean, according to history, Poe was freaky. I hoped this didn't indicate anything freaky about Alec. Though I wouldn't have been surprised. Hell, he and Poe were probably old buddies as well.

"Why Emily Dickenson? Her poems make no sense." I said, deciding that that talking about the isolated woman would be safe. Even if she too was a little odd, as well.

Now that I think about, poets were in general odd. I was doomed in this chat.

"She made sense at the time." Alec replied, his lips curving into the smirk I loathed so much. It was too confident, too boyish. Too attractive.

"No, she didn't. She has her own style. In fact, there was no pattern in her work. Can you even call it poetry?"

"Just because it doesn't rhyme-"

"I know, but Dickenson was a sick woman. I mean, she choose to keep herself away from the public. How is that normal?"

"So, if you choose to be alone, you're sick in the head?" His voice was a little defensive. I stared at him and blinked.

Was he still talking about Dickenson or someone else? For some reason, it didn't sound like he was still referring to the woman. It sounded like he was talking about himself. Was he alone? Did he want to be?

I guess we had that in common, I suppose. Me, Alec and Dickenson.

God help us.

"No, I-"

"Because sometimes. Vanessa, people want to be alone to protect themselves."

"From what?"

"Pain. Something Emily wrote about often."

I didn't say anything for a while. Intead, I began thinking about what he said. I could so relate to that; protecting yourself because of the pain of being close to someone. I was like that. But that was because I lost someone. I lost everyone, actually, so why was Alec like that? What did he have to protect himself. He was Alec. He couldn't possibly have known anything about pain. And if he did, it's because it put it on himself.

After about an hour of driving we were finally hitting up some civilization. There were all kinds of stores for clothing, movies, and books.

Oh books, how I've missed you. Looking at Alec, I quickly pointed to the direction of the Barnes and Noble.

"Alec-"

"No."

"Please?"

"No. We've already lost time."

I pouted and Alec rolled his eyes as I puckered my bottom lip. He wasn't phased by it, though. Nothing I did ever effected by him. But I had to try. I wanted a freaking book. I wanted that distraction that books usually gave people, the ability to get lost in new worlds. I craved books almost like I had blood.

Almost.

"Fifteen minutes, Alec. It wont kill you."

Alec pondered this, and I was beginning to gain hope.

"Five minutes." He said after another moment, turning into the huge parking lot that held the strip to which Barns and Noble was.

I also wanted to go into the other stores I saw, like Target, Payless, Ross and Sally's Beauty Supply. I knew there was no chance in hell getting Alec stand there while I picked out new nail polishes. I was still so excited he was actually going to let me buy a book, my heart pounded in my chest, a reaction I'm sure because of his kindness. He was giving in to me; being civil. I could learn to like this Alec very much.

Ugh.

"Fifteen!" I argued.

"Ten!" He snapped, already giving me five more minutes. I grinned.

"Fifteen! Fifteen minutes, Alec. C'mon!"

I thought he would change his mind. That he would forget it and that he would find me being to childish to deserve a book, but he drove ito the parking lot in front of Barns and Noble, finding a parkling place near t he entrace. He didn't say anything more. I think I could of hugged him.

Ha. The image of me hugging him made me want to laugh. Civility or not, he was still Alec and I was still me. We weren't the hugging types. At least I wasn't. The last person I hugged was Jake, and I couldn't even remember it. The thought caused a pain to swell in my chest. Oh, how I wish I could hug him now.

Alec get out of the car, I did the same, excited to be out of the car. I stretched my legs and arms. Once I was done with that I looked through the car window to see my bruise was now faded. In fact, I could barely see it. However the other mark was still very much present.

What the hell? The harm done by one vampire can be gone because of the blood but not this one? How hard did this man suck on me?

I shivered as that thought came into my head. I turned and looked at Alec who was staring in the direction of the store; his head tilted. I followed his gaze, seeing a dark blonde hair girl, staring right back him. She gave Alec a wink, a nasty ass smile crossing her lips that spelled trouble.

_Oh, hell no. _That was the only thing I could hear myself thinking.

* * *

><p><strong>Writer's Note:<br>Hey, lovelies! What do you think of the chapter? Questions...concerns? Haha. So mystery Ade has a full name. Adriel. We're easing him into this little by little.  
><strong>**Of course Alec saved the day with that blonde vampire, but we all knew that from the beginning. Yes, we put her in danger just so he could be hot and save her. Why? Because we can. Haha. That's reason enough for us.  
>Tell us what you think!<br>-IITM**

**Feed Me!  
>↓↓↓<strong>


	5. Chapter V: Territory

******Disclaimer: We don't own Alec and Renesmee, for reasons we still don't understand. That doesn't mean we can't pretend and pull on the strings of their puppets, though. Happy reading, darlings!  
>-Cee and Tiff {IITM}<br>[Please read author's note at end of chapter!]******

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter V: Territory<strong>

Just when I thought things might have been looking a little better, it all had to come crashing down. Even as I browsed over books, when I should have been enjoying myself, all I could think about was the way that girl looked at Alec. I didn't like that look, because I knew it like the back of my hand. I, myself, had given it to others. It was the look that made it quite clear what you had in mind. What bothered me worse was how much it annoyed me. It shouldn't have, I knew it shouldn't have. I didn't have any claim on him, nor did I want any. I knew it was absurd the way I was feeling, but yet I couldn't stop it.

Attempting to distract myself from the insanity going on inside of my head, I read the description of several books, looking for the perfect few. It really did feel great to be in the open. I loved the smell of Barnes and Noble, or any book store for that matter. I smelled the fresh pages of the books, the brewing coffee from Starbucks, and of course, the scent of surrounding humans. I must have looked awful to anyone that saw me right now, as there was some dried mud on my clothes. I didn't care though, surprisingly. It's not as if I had anyone to impress. Not Alec, that's for certain.

Nothing I ever did would impress that man. The fact the he suggested we get to know one another really surprised me, and I continued to wonder what I could tell him about my life without giving too much away. There was one half of me who knew I had to be careful, I needed to protect my identity from everyone. Then, deep inside, there was Renesmee Cullen, who secretly wished she could reveal herself to someone again. I hadn't heard my name said aloud in two years...

What would my name sound like coming from Alec's lips...? In my mind, I envisioned his face and I pictured him saying it. I could hear it; his low, satin voice escaping his beautiful mouth.

_Renesmee..._

It was only in my imagination, and yet I still felt my heart clench at the thought of him saying my real name.

However, it wasn't going to happen for several reasons. One, being that the way I imagined him saying it...well, he would never do it with such passion as he did inside my head. Two, it was indeed a very stupid idea to tell him about me. If word got out that I was not an immortal child as the Volturi had believed, I'm sure they would still hunt me down and kill me just so they could finish off the last of the Cullens. Three, I just couldn't be Renesmee anymore. I hadn't transformed myself into what I am just to go back to being her. I wasn't little Nessie anymore. I was Vanessa now. Vanessa took hold of the world and made it her bitch. She got what she wanted, right? At least, that's what I used to believe. Up until this trip to Barnes and Noble, getting what I wanted was a foreign concept with Alec around.

Then, he had to go and surprise me once again. Whenever I had decided to make my mind up about him, he threw me completely off course, and I had to reevaluate everything all over again. I tried weighing the good with the bad inside of my head.

Some of the good things Alec had done? Damn, that was a hard question. Okay, well...he did save my life. He gave me a little blood; he told me a LITTLE about Adriel, but that really didn't count because what I knew was shit. He gave in and brought me here, giving me fifteen minutes to buy a few books; he initiated the getting to know me thing, because he wanted my trust. He went back for my things in the woods when he didn't have to. That was nice of him.

And the bad? He loved insulting me. I was a skank in his eyes and nothing more, as well as unattractive and annoying. He had zero patience with me, and made sure to bite my head off pretty much every time he spoke. He basically blackmailed me into this whole situation, not giving me any other option. If I wanted my things, I had to do what he wanted. Period. That wasn't fair at all. Oh, yeah, let's not forget he's trading me and he wont tell me why. He needed something, that's all I knew. His performance around humans with me was very inappropriate, such as kissing my neck and leaving marks on me. That was bad, right? He was too gorgeous for his own good, and I cursed his looks for making me attracted. His lips, eyes, and hands especially deserved a lot of resentment.

He was basically a giant pain in my ass, invading almost every thought I possessed. Even now, I couldn't quit thinking of him.

Where was the douche bag, anyways?

After choosing two books, I headed towards the front of the store. Yes, I was actually going to pay for them. I didn't want Alec's judging eyes on me if I dared to shoplift. Heading to the counter, I caught Alec's form at the corner of my eye. He was standing in the Starbucks area, but he was not keeping his eye on me to make sure I didn't do anything stupid. He was instead conversing with that blonde girl from the parking lot.

I felt my eyes narrow instantly, and if I had possessed any venom, it would have been pooling in my mouth from insticts. A sudden feeling of complete anger coursed throughout me. He was smiling at her with such lightheartedness, he looked so open. It was the very opposite of when he talked or looked at me. She, in return, was smiling and clearly enjoying the undeserved attention being thrust at her. She was laughing, actually, at something he said. His lips curved into a smirk. Even as I stared at him, knowing he sensed my eyes on him, he never once looked at me.

It was as if he had completely forgotten about me. It was bullshit. He knew I was RIGHT HERE. My heartbeat, or my scent would have given that away. But there he was, completely ignoring my presence, conversing with this girl who looked no older than eighteen or nineteen. Did he find her attractive? How could he have found her attractive and not me? I didn't mean to be conceited, but sometimes, you just knew you're prettier than someone else. And I knew for a fact that I was more attractive than her. Maybe she was his taste. Maybe he went for that type: bubbly, outgoing, blonde, big boobs. She did have bigger breasts than me.

Shit. Was that it? Was he talking to this girl because of her tits? Maybe I was over thinking this. He was probably just luring her in so he could feed on her, right? He was doing what I did, following my example. Seduce them, and bite them. He might give off that, 'Hey, I wanna sex you up,' vibe, but it was all an act. He didn't want to actually practice any sexual activities with her. I was sure of it. Alec was anti-sexual. I was convinced he still possessed his virginity, seeing as how he always looked down upon me for taking part in such unspeakable things.

He was _NOT_ intending to sleep with her.

She did _NOT_ just touch his hair.

I was _NOT_ finding myself stomping over there like an out of control jealous girlfriend.

Regrettably, I was indeed walking in their direction, irritation lacing my every step. I didn't even understand what I was feeling. I didn't understand why I felt so much resentment aimed towards someone I didn't even know. But I couldn't stop myself from proceeding over to where they were standing. What I was going to do, I didn't know. I just couldn't keep watching them from afar; watching Alec pretend I didn't exist. I deserved better than that, especially after what he's put me through.

As I approached the chatting duo, I made it a point it clear my throat loudly and obnoxiously. Alec finally was able to tear his eyes off the girl to look at me, and I didn't miss how they narrowed slightly. I glared at him in return, not bothering to conceal my displeasure. The blonde beside him looked back and fourth between us, obviously confused.

"I'm ready to leave. It's been fifteen minutes." I stated in a flat voice.

Alec gave me a half smile, the left side of his mouth curving upwards. It made me all the more furious.

"Why don't you look around for a little longer? I'll meet up with you later." He suggested casually, cocking one of his eyebrows upwards.

Did he honestly believe he could dispose of me that easily?

"_I said_ I'm ready to leave." My voice took on a higher pitch, growing more and more irritated.

Alec opened his mouth to speak but miss boobs beside him beat him to it, turning to smile at me. I wanted to tear it off her face.

"Hey, I'm Amber. You're Alec's sister, right? He told me how you two were on your way to visit your grandparents in Vermont. I love road trips..."

Everything else she said was starting to blur, and I didn't hear any of it. That's when the time sort of stood still for several moments. At first, I didn't really understand what the hell she was talking about, but then I realized Alec had referred to me as his _sister. _Blood relations. It made me feel sick to my stomach. He had the nerve to call me his sister? I still had his hickey on my neck from him sucking on me, and he was calling me his SISTER? Hell no. He wasn't going to use me as part of his little scheme, not like this he wasn't. The bastard needed to understand he couldn't just use me like a toy any longer. And whatever her name was needed to go throw herself off a cliff and die.

I coughed on an acid filled laugh, placing my hands on my hips. I tilted my head and glanced back at Alec.

"That's funny. Yesterday I was your wife, and we were on our honeymoon." I smirked. "I can't keep up with these games of yours if you don't let me in on them beforehand, Licorice. Especially if you're inviting someone else in to play with us..."

I'm guessing this was one of those times that Alec really wished he didn't have to be discreet in front of humans, because by the look he was burning into me? He wanted to very badly. He looked absolutely livid. Not quite as livid as he was when facing that vampire in the woods, thank God, but it was close enough.

One part of me immediately regretted opening my mouth, while another part was thriving inside, for dearest Amber looked extremely disturbed. I doubted we'd be seeing much of her again in the future. What a shame.

Seconds passed by with all three of us standing there. It might have been silent to anyone watching us, but I knew that there were being a million words being said just with his eyes glaring into mine. I surprised myself as I held his gaze, my jaw just as set as his, my posture equal in power. I was still too worked up to be intimidated by his anger. I knew that there was a large chance I was going to get numbed for this, or that our agreement to be civil was going to be thrown out the window. I just couldn't bring myself to worry about that at that second.

I just wanted Amber _gone. _And if she didn't leave in the next few moments, I might have to take matters into my own hands and give Alec a real reason to be pissed at me.

I was turning my attention back to the blonde, about to tell her to get lost, when I felt Alec's strong hand grab hold of my wrist.

"Can I have a word with you?" He practically growled between clenched teeth. Like he was actually going to give me a choice on this.

Before I could agree, he was pulling me aside, away from human eyes. He found an empty section of the book store, the political section. Apparently nobody liked to read about politics.

"What the hell was that, Vanessa?" He hissed, lowering his face so it become level with mine.

In a twisted and messed up way, I was feeling very triumphant. I had succeeded it regaining his attention. He had no other thoughts of Avery or whatever her name was. I had already forgotten, and I was hoping he had as well. So, even as he glowered down at me with disapproval, it felt better. Things were as they were supposed to be. There was no room for another passenger on our journey to hell. Especially not the likes of that girl.

She wouldn't have even been able to handle Alec.

_And you can?_ A mocking voice spoke in the back of my head.

Yes. I could. I knew how to press his buttons. I knew who his favorite poets were. I knew-

_Jealousy is a very unattractive trait in a woman, Renesmee._

I wasn't jealous! This wasn't what jealousy felt like, right? This was just irritation. To be perfectly honest, I was doing that girl a damn favor. I was saving her the trouble. I had been where she was. I had been attracted to Alec, I had aimed towards getting his dick into my possession. Look where it had gotten me? She would have wound up dead had I not intervened. If their interactions and flirting had gone on any longer, either Alec would have killed her, or I would have killed her. It would have probably been me.

I was practically a saint.

_Call it whatever you want. You were jealous._

Shit.

"Well?" He snapped, taking my jawline within his fingers, forcing me to look straight at him.

His hand on my face seemed to warm things up, despite how cool his skin was. Again, as much as I hated it, I still felt very smug. I wasn't fighting any longer to gain his attention. His eyes were only focused on me, his thoughts were concerning me, his hand was on _me._

Mine...

Suddenly, Alec snatched his hand back from me as if it were on fire, and I stared at him in confusion. I didn't like the way the departure of his skin on mine felt. He wasn't close enough now, he wasn't in my grasp.

I seriously needed to get a grasp on reality, not him.

"I...I don't know!" I blurted, suddenly feeling lost for words. I couldn't exactly tell him what I was really thinking. That I was...jealous, or whatever. I still thought jealous was a bit strong of a word. "I tried telling you I was ready to leave, but you wouldn't listen to me!"

I sounded so immature. My reasoning was not acceptable, I knew this. Anything I said to him would sound ridiculous. Because in all honesty, it was very ridiculous. The feelings inside of me were beyond unjustified. The urge to kill Amber, the triumph I felt when I pulled Alec's eyes back to mine...what did all that even mean? I knew I was attracted to him physically, but that wasn't a strong enough base to go off of what the things I was doing. Physical attraction had never gotten me this out of control.

Damn him. He made everything ten times worse than what it should have been. Yes, I was blaming him. Perhaps that was another immature choice, but so be it. My life was quite okay in every aspect before. And now? Everything was screwed up inside my head, like wires were being stripped apart. Why couldn't I just be indifferent to him? Why couldn't I just ignore him completely? He made it so hard to shut him out of my mind, and he didn't even realize he was doing anything. Even now as he looked at me with those hard as stone eyes, it made my heart flip over inside of my chest.

Why?

Alec blinked, shaking his head at my excuse. He knew it was bullshit just as much as I did. I felt so stupid and embarrassed. For once, he had valid reason to call me an idiotic girl. I hated it. Any feelings of previous triumph were rapidly dissolving. Well, it was here. The moment I had been waiting for. I knew I would regret saying what I had. I had hoped it wouldn't occur so quickly.

"So you decide to make a childish scene? Is that your solution for everything when you don't get your way, Vanessa?" His voice was cold, openly talking down at me. It made my skin prickle. As I stated before; I _hated _this.

"Perhaps I went about it the wrong way," I reasoned, faking confidence in my voice. "But honestly, what did you expect me to do? You called me your _sister._"

"Is that a problem for you?" He retorted, his arms crossing over his chest.

I scoffed. "Hell yes, it's a problem! I'm sick of the role-playing games. I don't want to be your girlfriend, or your wife and I especially don't want to be your damn sister!" I hissed. "Stop labeling me."

His expression was still covered by a sheet of ice, like he was blocking out anything that might try to penetrate his hard exterior.

"You make it very difficult to be civil, Vanessa." I hated it when he called me Vanessa. I really did. It was a very unpleasant sound emerging from his lips. I wasn't sure if it was because I wanted him to say my real name or because I preferred it when he called me Hersheys. Either way, it was absurd. "Especially when you go and do shit like this."

I tried to stop it from coming out of my mouth, but by the time I comprehended what I was saying, it was already out. "Well, I'm SO sorry if I don't feel like browsing the romance novels while you work your way into some random chick's pants!" Great. Just add that to my list of failures for today. By the rate I was going, I was going to be making a world record.

Alec's reaction was different than I had predicted. He just rubbed his face with his hands in what seemed like utter exhaustion. He tipped his head back a bit, letting a frustrated growl escape his throat. I shuffled my feet beneath me awkwardly.

"Let's just forget about this, okay?" I suggested, staring down at the floor. "It wasn't one of my finest moments and I...I apologize, alright?"

What the hell? Did I really just apologize to this asshole? What has become of me? He was the bad guy, not me! He had a lot more to apologize for than I did.

"Actually...I take it back. I'm not really sorry. But however, it would be great if we could forget about all of this." I corrected myself, slapping a fake smile onto my mouth.

Alec narrowed his eyes, his jaw tightly set.

"You think it'll be that simple? Just sweep it under the rug like it never happened?" There was something in his voice that made me think he was referring to something completely different. He stared at me like I was suppose to know exactly what he was talking about, expecting me to reply with full understanding. I blinked in confusion.

"Uh...yeah? It's not _that_ big of a deal, Alec."

He laughed that empty laugh that I hated so much. It made me cringe. Then, he composed himself, standing straight and looking completely hollow.

"Go pay for your books. We're leaving." He started to walk away, but stopped mid step and glanced back at me. His voice took on that harsher note again, practically spitting out his next words. "Next time, mind your own business."

That's when he left. I stood there, feeling slightly stung by his the cruel tone of his voice. I sighed deeply, shaking it off, ignoring the tightness in my chest. I once again made my way up to the front of the store, Amber was no where to be seen. However, I did find Alec now standing outside the glass doors, his back to me. He was pissed at me. I didn't like it. I don't know why I didn't like it, but I just didn't. I had been looking forward to the civil thing, the getting to know him part of it all. I doubted he was going to take that anywhere now. I blew my chances at that.

I paid for my books and stepped outside, pausing awkwardly next to him.

"Ready?" I mumbled.

He nodded once and we both made our way to his car. I quickly got in, buckling my seat belt and hugging myself. Alec got in beside me, saying nothing as he started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. I tried thinking of something to say, something to do to get him to stop looking like that. I couldn't stand the air that was thick with tension and silence. I inched my eyes towards Alec, whose one hand was gripping onto the steering wheel, and the other was grasping the stick shift.

How do I make it better...?

"So...I got you something." I broke the silence, trying to sound casual.

His eyes immediately shifted and met mine, confused.

"What?"

I reached into the Barnes and Noble bag, pulling out one of the hardback books I had purchased. I showed him the cover that read: _'Emily Dickinson: A Biography.'_

"I figured since she was one of your favorites, you might like this. And even if you already know everything this book has to offer, I can take a few things from it...it might give me a little more respect for her." I explained, feeling heat rise to my cheeks as Alec stared at me, his brows still furrowed.

I had been hoping for a response from him. But all I got was his continual stare, his eyes conflicted. I grew more and more anxious by the second. If he didn't say something soon I was going to scream.

"Listen, I paid like twenty-eight bucks for this, and I _never _pay for anything. So, consider yourself lucky." I joked, letting my eyes fall back to the cover of the book. I stared at the painting of Emily herself, looking very distant and unhappy. I could sympathize.

I knew it was a stupid gesture buying him a book. But I figured if we were going to learn more about each other, this would be a good way to start conversations and stuff. We could talk about the book and what it said, and then progress into other conversations. It sounded nice at the time, but now with Alec's lack of reaction? I was beginning to question it.

"You shouldn't have done that, Hersheys.."

I think I could have smiled from relief. For one, his voice, even as stressed as it was, sounded a lot softer than before. Two, he was actually speaking to me. And three, he used my nickname. They were all signs that he was well on his way to getting rid of that bad mood of his.

I shrugged, appearing nonchalant. "Probably not...but I thought we were going to try and be nice to each other. Consider it...a peace offering."

He was silent for several more moments before sighing deeply through his nose, holding his left hand out for the book. I gave it to him, and watched as his eyes scanned over the front and back cover, alternating between studying it and watching the road ahead. After he inspected what he could of it, he shifted his gaze to me. His eyes looked so sincere, almost...vulnerable. I didn't know what to think of it. He looked so uncertain all of the sudden. It was as if he hadn't received a gift in hundreds of years.

I wondered if that were true.

"Thank you..."

If my heart were a balloon, I think it would have exploded. Those two words were a melody I could hear over and over. Much like his laughter from the night before, his gratitude was genuine. I could hear it in his voice. I found myself starting to smile like a mad woman. I felt like I was glowing.

"You're welcome." I replied, trying not to turn my smile into a grin. "Just don't get used to it. I wasn't kidding when I said I didn't buy anything. I'm a thief at heart."

He rolled his eyes that were focusing back on the road. He placed the book on his lap, rather than sticking it in the backseat with his other books. That really didn't help my pride at all.

"Yes, I know. I saw you at Barney's, ripping the security tag off of that bra." He sounded like he wanted to chuckle.

"Dude, how long were you watching me that day? And besides, who pays two hundred bucks for a BRA?" I was actually wearing that very bra at that moment. It was worth every penny that I didn't spend.

"A lot of people," he said. "You know you were seen on the security camera, don't you?"

I scoffed, waving my hand. "Honey, I'm wanted in several states for shoplifting and other unmentionable crimes, but you don't see me sitting in jail, do you?"

His lips pursed again and he shook his head, letting out a soft sigh. Then, it seemed like there was nothing to be said, and it started feeling awkward once more. I actually had to have a conversation with him if I wanted to know anything about him. But seriously, what did I ask this vampire? Where did I even start? What all would he actually answer? I guess there was only one way to find that out. I was going to have to open my mouth and ask him something and hope for the best.

"So...Alec..." I crossed one of my legs over the other, getting comfortable. Alec's eyebrow raised and he glanced at me briefly.

"Mhm?"

"You still game on us knowing each other?"

"Mhm..."

"And you'll answer it if it involves you?"

"Correct."

"So _anything_ I want to know about _you_, you'll answer?"

"Hmm...don't push your luck."

I hissed. I knew better than to ask. Of course he was still setting boundaries. But, I would work with what I had. It was a blessing he was giving me this much to work with at all. So, taking it like a big girl, I nodded and proceeded.

"Is your name really Alec?" I questioned.

Yeah, it was a silly thing to ask. But you never knew. Hell, I was giving him a fake name. It wouldn't surprise me if he had done the same. Although, I doubted he was going to tell me whether or not he gave me a phony name. Yeah, it was a pretty stupid question. It was the first thing that came to mind.

"Yes, it's my real name. Do I even need to ask about yours?"

My heart stopped. Had I mentioned how STUPID of a question it was to ask? I was really setting myself up here, wasn't I?

_Stay calm. He'll hear your heartbeat quicken if you get too panicked, you moron!_

"Why, don't you like my name?" I asked suavely. Was I resorting to flirtation now? He would see right through it like a pane of glass! I was such a lunatic today.

"Honestly?" He asked, completely serious.

Crap, here we go.

"Yeah...honestly." I was actually getting very curious and nervous as to what he thought of my stage name.

"Vanessa seems..." He drifted off, not finishing the sentence. It was driving me insane. He couldn't leave me hanging like that.

"Seems what?"

He looked very uncomfortable all of the sudden, as if he was being questioned by some lawyer in a courtroom. It was putting me on edge. Just spit it out already! I could take it!

"It's...cute." He didn't sound at all honest.

It was cute? What the hell did that mean, it was cute? I knew it was cute. He didn't need to tell me that. Everyone knew it was cute. What did he THINK of it, though? Why was I getting so worked up over what he thought of a name that wasn't even MINE? I guess it was because anyone who didn't like the name Vanessa sure as hell wouldn't like the name Renesmee.

Who gave a shit, though? It wasn't like I actually went by it. Vanessa was the subject at hand. He thought it was _cute. _Or so he said. I didn't care enough to investigate further on the matter of names.

"Where are you from?"

"Everywhere," he replied lazily.

I sighed in frustration. "Anywhere in particular?"

"Nope."

Now he was just being cryptic, his personal specialty. I narrowed my eyes, nodding.

"That's interesting. Your accent sounds American, but there's something behind it...something..." I tried putting my finger on it. "Something that indicates sophisticated surroundings..."

"Sophisticated surroundings?" He repeated, glancing at me.

I hadn't ever really given it much thought about where he was from. Indeed, he sounded American, but like I pointed out to him, there was something else I couldn't place my finger on. It wasn't even an accent, per say. Just the way he spoke. Maybe he was just really, really old. That made me wonder.

"How old are you?"

His mouth curved into a smile, his eyes starting to dance in what looked like amusement as he looked at me again. It seemed to go straight through me, effecting me everywhere from the tightness in my chest to the goose bumps forming on my thighs. He was so alluring when he did that shit, actually smiling and showing signs of life inside that shell of his.

"Don't ask unless you really want to know," he replied.

Seriously?

"I want to know!" I argued.

He cleared his throat, his brows knitting together in thought. I waited impatiently as he summoned up the number.

"Well, I'm not sure how accurate this is. It's just an approximate number, but I'll go off what the century I was born in. " He paused again, and I growled. He smiled a bit wider, like he knew just how much I was eager for his reply. Douche. "Somewhere around...one thousand, two hundred and seventeen years? Give or take."

...

Okay, I had predicted he was old, but not _THAT _old! Seriously, I might as well have been sitting down to a Greek god! Jeez, was he even a vampire at all? How could anybody be that old! There was no way. NO way. Nobody in my family was near that old! Carlisle was born in the seventeenth century, and he was the oldest of all of them. Shit! He had been alive, or undead, for over a MILLENNIUM?

"So...you were born...when?" I chocked out, impressed I could find my own voice.

"Somewhere in eight hundred A.D." He answered without hesitation.

I gasped, quite loudly. I literally put a hand to my chest in shock as if I were having a heart attack. Was he just pulling my leg, here? Seeing how gullible I was? I searched his face for any signs of dishonesty. But he looked completely serious and truthful, and also somewhat amused at my reaction.

"You're..." I started giggling then, unable to contain my laughter.

I didn't know where it had come from, but it was there. I couldn't stop laughing! I was shaking with it, actually, the bellows of it growing louder and louder within the small space of the car. I tried covering my mouth to muffle the noise, but when Alec looked at me with that adorable look of complete confusion, it only sent me into more fits of hysterical laughter.

"What is so funny?" He asked, his mouth looking as though it were trying not to smile.

I couldn't quite laughing long enough to answer him. Even if I could speak, I wouldn't know what to tell him, because it really wasn't funny. I think I was so shocked it seemed like a natural thing to do. It was now consuming me, and I was finding it difficult to take a breath. I was laughing so hard I felt tears start to form at my eyes.

"Alec!" I said finally after several more moments of me trying to catch my breath and compose myself. "Do you know how...unbelievable that is? There's SO much history that you've obtained, because you've lived through _ALL_ it! You must speak hundreds of languages!" Now I was just getting really excited. The history buff inside of me was roaring with questions to ask him.

A millennium. I couldn't imagine a thousand years of living. It sounded horrible, to be truthful. No one should've been alive that long. How was he still sane after all this time? No wonder he was such a tight ass! He was an old man! Ancient, actually. It was beyond fascinating. I was still having a difficult time believing it, imagining so much time. Had he been on his own all of these years? Had he once had a mate? I had foolishly joked about him being a virgin, but after one thousand years? There was no way in hell this vampire was pure. I didn't even want to try to think of the number of women be must have bedded. I mean, there wasn't any way that he hadn't, right? After the first couple of centuries, he was bound to start getting bored.

Of all the things to consider after he tells me he was born in eight hundred A.D., I start thinking about his sex life? Really? Must it always go back to the topic of sex when it concerned him? Who cared about his dick's action. What about all of the things he had experienced, all of the places he has lived in, the cultures he's been exposed to? That's the sort of topic that actually mattered here. What was wrong with me?

"Perhaps hundreds of languages is a little extreme." There was a smile in his voice.

"No, it isn't! Shit, Alec...I feel starstruck, here!" I really did, actually. I felt my stomach clenching and my fingers shaking I was so excited. I was hyperventilating while he looked perfectly composed. "Can I have your autograph in calligraphy?" I joked. "You must have exquisite handwriting..."

I didn't just say that to him out loud, right? Yeah, I did. I went there. I couldn't even feel ashamed over it, either. Handwriting said a lot about a person's character, in my opinion. It came from their own hand, it contained a personal style that no one else could duplicate perfectly. After centuries upon centuries of writing, it could have been nothing less than absolutely stunning. I pictured his hand holding a quilt pen, dipping it in ink before moving it gracefully across a sheet of papyrus or parchment, the small flame of a candle lighting the room, dancing softly. It was actually a very sensual sort of vision. Perhaps it was a strange gesture to consider sensual, but I had always, regretfully so, been a fan of Alec's hands. I mean, when I thought of it in full detail as I did, I couldn't help but think it that way.

I wondered if his passion for poetry was because he wrote it himself? That idea was very appealing to me. The thought of him using his mind as a tool to translate the things he was feeling through the the movements of his hands, projecting them onto paper? Yes, very attractive. However, I didn't know if he did such things.

Coming out of a daze, thinking about Alec's hands and the way they moved, I noted that Alec himself was looking at me strangely. He had reason to. Telling him he more than likely had nice handwriting was a rather odd thing to say to someone. It was actually a compliment, which is something I hadn't done for him since we first met in Central Park. I had tried every compliment then I could muster to try and persuade him. I used every little trick I had. Needless to say that first meeting ended badly.

**XxXxX**_  
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"_Sorry, I don't do sloppy seconds…or in your case, sloppy billions." _

_"You really know how to sweet talk a girl," I replied as he openly laughed at me. I tried not to show my offense to his comment, or let it throw me off._

_"You really are a fool if you think there will be any sweet talk coming from me." His smile remained in place but it held no warmth. His eyes that glowed red were cold, as was his voice._

_I was still getting no response from him whatsoever. I usually could just feel lust and other reactions pouring off of them, but with this vampire? Absolutely nothing. He was either very good at pretending or he was honestly not interested. I refused to believe the second option. I had never let one get away before. It seemed the more this vampire resisted and insulted me, the more I wanted to prove to myself that I could have him. It was indeed a challenge. _

_"Fine...you don't have to play it sweet." I leaned into him again, playing with the hem of his shirt, tempted to touch the cool skin underneath. "I much prefer dirty talk, anyways. Are you a dirty talker..?" I breathed into his face._

_I heard a loud shriek, and realized it was coming from me. He had shoved me away from him so hard that I was now flying backwards at least fifteen feet high in the air. All I saw above me were the stars that were dotted in the black sky above. Instincts taking over my panic, I twisted my body in mid air as gravity started pushing me back towards the ground. Somewhat gracefully, I landed on my hands and feet in a low crouch on the pavement. My head whipped up, focusing on the vampire now standing a good twenty feet away from me. I felt a growl ripple through my chest, emerging from my throat._

_I heard him laugh a cool and insulting laugh; watched as his mouth turned upwards into a grin, displaying a row of perfectly aligned white teeth. The gesture seemed to anger me even more. In an instant I was running towards him with every amount of speed I could gain. I didn't really know what I planned to do once I had reached him, but it involved some sort of violence._

_My plan, once again, backfired. Before I could even get my hands on him, the vampire had took hold of my neck. It wasn't a tight grasp, not to where I couldn't breathe, but it was one that definitely got my attention. Also, it proved how much stronger he was than I. When I tried to fight off his cold hand on my neck, he decided to demonstrate further what he could do and, what I was helpless to stop it._

_I felt my back slam against the cold pavement of the ground, but it wasn't the cold ground that made my breath catch in my throat. It was his cool figure that was suddenly hovering over mine. He placed one of his knees on the ground in between my legs to support the rest of his body. Both of my wrists had now been taken captive by his hands; he pinned them down up above my head. I could have attempted to fight back again. I could have maybe used my legs somehow to push him off of me. However, as I stared up into his face that lingered over mine, I felt as though I were suddenly paralyzed. I couldn't move._

_I didn't _want_ to move._

_My heartbeat, which was regularly fast, was now pounding so profusely it made my body tremble beneath his. I knew I was under threat, and I knew I was likely to die right here, but I just couldn't bring myself to care. I was frozen, and in awe of how lovely he was. I took that moment to study his features even further. I observed his flawless, pale skin that put the moon's glow to shame. I noted how long his dark eyelashes were. I stared at the cupid's bow of_ _his upper lip_,_ the curve and fullness of his bottom lip, and the natural pout his mouth made. I traveled my eyes upwards, and my heart skipped. Above the dark bruises that every vampire possessed, I stared into those two sharpest of eyes that were burning right back into mine. The fiery red of his iris' seemed to trigger another fire right in between my thighs. And his scent...it was intoxicating, mouthwatering, even. His breath was just as perfumed as his skin, and I wanted so badly to taste his tongue inside of my mouth._

_It was quite possibly the most arousing and sensuous moment I had ever encountered with another._

_It's too bad he had to talk and ruin everything._

_"I need to know I have your full attention," he hissed. "Have I succeeded?"_

_I nodded without question, my eyes widening. He seemed pleased with my response. He smiled, though there was no light in his eyes._

_"That's good, Hersheys." He whispered. I held my breath as he pulled away from my face. "If I let you go, I want you to stop humiliating yourself while trying to throw what you have in my face. You think you can manage that?"_

_Was that seriously why he had thrown a fit, because I had flirted with him? Did he always attack those who tried to do him favors? I found myself starting to pull back into reality. It sort of dawned on me what this asshole just did. I had been momentarily blinded by his apparent beauty, but now I was seeing things very clearly._

_He was a total dick and it wasn't a turn on any longer. I didn't want to lower myself by sleeping with him! What had I been thinking? Was I brain dead? Had I fed on a junkie and the drugs were started to mess with my judgment? He might have been attractive, but he had absolutely nothing to offer me. He attacked me because I asked if he was a dirty talker! Who the hell did that? He had issues, that's for damn sure. _

_"Who are you?" I suddenly yelled, hearing the anger in my voice._

_The vampire swiftly brought himself to his feet, towering above my body that still remained on the ground. I took that opportunity to stand as well, glaring at him with distaste._

_"That doesn't really concern you, does it?" He asked with a sarcastic tone to his voice. He sighed, glancing at the body of the guy I had fed on. "Now, try to pay attention, little girl. I realize that might be difficult for you, but we all have our challenges in life."_

_I raised my middle finger to him, flicking him off. He scoffed, his face curling in disgust._

_"Haven't I made myself clear on that subject? I don't even think my vampire immunity could protect me from whatever sexually transmitted diseases you're carrying." His voice was like ice._

_"Bastard," I spat._

_"Slut," he retorted, shaking his head. "Listen to me! Because I don't trust you to do a thorough job all by yourself, I'm going to get rid of your leftovers over there." He indicated with his head, pointing towards the body. "And then, I'm going to drop you off that the city lines. You're getting the hell out of New York City, and you're not going to return. I never want to see your trashy ass here again. Have I made myself clear to you?"_

_"Or you'll what...?"_

_"I will kill you, and I will enjoy it."_

**XxXxX**_  
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The message apparently wasn't clear enough to get through my thick scull, I suppose. Yeah, like I said, we didn't get off on the right foot. That was the moment I had decided I hated everything about him. And now? Sitting here with him, having a conversation with him without yelling and insulting? My hatred may have decreased a little. I had just praised him over his handwriting, had I not?

He was still staring at me with that expression on his face.

"Exquisite handwriting?" He repeated, his head tilting a little.

I laughed nervously, fidgeting with my fingers.

"I mean, I'm sure it looks elegant and stuff...being as ancient as you are and all." I joked.

He tossed me a look that said to shut up, but I saw a little bit of lightheartedness in it in his eyes.

"Well, how old are you?" He asked, looking back at the road.

I hesitated, because the subject of my age was always one I didn't like to talk about. It was kind of embarrassing, actually. He was the least of all people I wanted to discuss it with. Besides, it was confusing as hell. Maybe he'd just drop it.

"Old enough," I replied, shrugging.

I could practically see his face drop any hints of amusement from the corner of my eye. "How old are you, Vanessa?" He repeated, his voice now hinting at a warning.

I conjured up ways I could stall the inevitable moment where I had to spill the truth.

"How old do you think I am?" I inquired, raising my eyebrows.

Alec paused, thinking about it for a moment or two.

"I don't know...maybe around two hundred years old?"

My jaw dropped, my mouth hanging open in an unattractive manner. He thought I was two centuries old! _Me_? Two hundred years old? Was he joking? Was he trying his hand at a joke? He must have been. He couldn't have been really serious.

"Two hundred?" I repeated, my voice high and unbelieving. "Do you really think that?" Great. I was going to get all giddy now. He thought I was an older woman. _Way _older. I felt proud for whatever I did to give him that impression.

He frowned. "Aren't you?"

Oh, my gosh. He was so serious. He honestly believed I was that old! I giggled again, shaking my head no. I should have lied and said yes. There was a huge part of me that wanted to. He'd never know the difference. But I didn't think that would have been fair, seeing as how he had been truthful with me about his age. Besides, I had to tell the truth if he was going to get to know me a little, right? I couldn't tell him about my past, but I could tell him this. Even though I really, really didn't want to.

Alec's frown deepened, looking a bit worried. Oh, he had reason to be.

"How off am I?"

I bit down on my lower lip nervously, finding the guts to just spit it out.

"Oh...only by about a hundred and eighty-nine years..." I mumbled.

There was no reaction from him. I didn't even hear him breathing. When a vampire stopped breathing, it must have meant something bad. I leaned forward a bit so I could get a good look at him. His eyebrows were knitted together, his eyes wide, his mouth hanging open, much like mine had been previously. He looked as though he had been told he was born as a female, or something. I must have completely taken him off guard.

"Licorice...?" I said softly.

He blinked, finally looking at me. They were still wide and...they looked a little crazed. To be frank, I was finding myself a little frightened just looking at him.

"You're...you're- eleven?" Alec choked out, his voice sounding like it was getting caught in his throat. He looked like he was going to be sick.

"Yeah," I answered shamefully, shrugging awkwardly.

I guess it was a common thing to do to start laughing when you find out how old someone is, because Alec started laughing. The difference was, when I laughed, it was because I was shocked, I thought it was exciting and unreal. Alec looked just plain insane as he started laughing. I didn't know his reasoning, and I wasn't really sure I wanted to find out.

"Are you okay?"

He stopped laughing abruptly, but the crazy look still remained in place. Only now it was mixed with more shock and what seemed to be frustration and...something else I couldn't pinpoint.

"YOU'RE ONLY ELEVEN YEARS OLD!" He screamed, causing me to jump a little in my seat.

He was losing it. He was losing his mind. What was his problem with my age? I knew it was a little young, and it was weird, seeing as how I appeared to be seventeen or eighteen, but he was really overreacting here. What did it matter to him how old I was?

"Yes! Haven't I specified that like three times now?" I snapped.

I wanted to laugh hysterically when I saw that Alec was pulling over on the side of the road. What was this, the third time he's done it? It was the second time today! It seemed that Alec couldn't fully concentrate on two things at once. If there appeared to be something that had upset or caught his attention, he had to pull over so he could process it. I thought it was kind of cute in a way.

Once the car was stopped, he put it the gear in park and turned his whole body to face me. His looked me straight in the eye with that crazy stare of his.

"You should have told me, Vanessa!" He snapped, shaking his head to himself. He pushed his hands through his hair, gripping onto his locks tightly. Was he going to pull his own hair out now? I wouldn't have put it past him right now.

"I did tell you. Just now!" I argued.

He let out another loony chuckle, now rubbing his face roughly like he had done earlier in Barnes and Noble.

"You should have told me BEFORE all of this! I would have never- SHIT!" Alec cursed, his breath now harsh and quick. "Vanessa...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?"

"What are you talking about?"

He hissed, muttering something under his breath I couldn't understand.

I sat there, staring at him like he freak he was turning into. I was starting to get a little scared, actually. It was like he was going to go off any minute and snap. I didn't want to be here when he snapped. In fact, I wanted to be anywhere else but in this car. Although I knew the second I opened the door to give him some space he was going to freak out even further.

"I wouldn't have even considered taking you to Adriel, had I known you were a child!"

I growled defensively, my hands curling into fists. The way I aged was a sore subject, and it pissed me off more than anything when he said what he did. I was as much as an adult than anyone else. I couldn't help how long I had existed. Hearing him call me a child was probably the worst insult he could ever say to me. At least a slut is a woman.

"I am _not _a child!" I spat.

"Eleven! Yeah, I think you are!" He closed his eyes had breathed through his nose. "And you let me pretend...last night at the bed and breakfast and in Barney's...you...and I left a mark on your neck and I felt- damn it!" His eyes opened again, looking horrified. "I'm going to Hell...if all of the people I killed haven't earned me a one way ticket, this will."

As upset as I still was over him calling me a child, I was starting to get confused. He seemed so ashamed, which I could get, if he actually saw me as a kid, which I wasn't. But he said he felt something, and then cut himself off before he could reveal anything else. That's what stood out to me. He felt...he felt what? I knew what _I _felt last night in that bedroom when he was whispering in my ear. I knew that I felt his erection brush up against me, which I figured was a result of his fantasies for another girl. But by the way he was freaking out now? I had to wonder why. Had he really been reacting to..._me? _Was that hard on a result of arousal for me? Is that why he thought he was going to hell?

Did I wish that he had desired me in that moment? Did I dare allow myself to believe it? I couldn't. It would lead to things, and open doors that I was trying really hard to keep closed. When was I going to realize that he was off limits? What the hell did I even say right now?

"Alec, I'm not a child. You and I both know that I'm not..."

He scoffed bitterly, refusing to even look at me now. I was losing my patience rather rapidly. I did something stupid. I leaned over and grabbed his face in my hand, my fingers touching the skin of his smooth cheeks. The instant I felt his skin against mine, it was like fire coursing through me.

"Take it back!" I said loudly, pulling his face toward mine so he would actually look at me.

He tensed immediately, grabbing my wrist and thrusting it away from him like it was something fatal and poisonous.

"Do not touch me." His voice was low and deadly, his eyes dangerously dark.

"Why? Because I've only been on this earth for a little over a decade?" I snapped. "Physically, I'm sixteen. Mentally, I'm smarter than any other teenagers and sadly, most adults. So, if that's what your problem is, then you don't need to worry about it."

"That's not why."

"Then what is?"

"You ask too many questions, okay?" Alec spat, keeping his eyes on the road.

"You've been on this earth for years, hundreds of decades, yet you look like a teenager. I don't really think you're an old man." I said softly, still aware of how close my body was to his. "If you want to get technical, you're suppose to be dirt. So, you know the age thing doesn't bug you. I know it doesn't. So tell me, Alec, what really bugs you?"

I didn't really expect him to answer. I mean, this was Alec, who was crytic as hell, and didn't like to get personal on any level with me. He didn't open up like normal people. Heck, I didn't either. But I knew I was right about this. It wasn't my age that had him on edge. It was something else, something he didn't like to admit out loud. I was about to give up, and just stop talking to him alltogether, since I didn't feel like reliving his response again. But Alec caught me by surprise, which he had been doing a lot of lately.

"You're so young...you haven't lived to experience anything. You've barely lived, Hersheys." The tone of his voice was what surprised me the most. Was it guilt, sadness, tenderness? It was all three, and I didn't know what to say to him because of it.

If I encouraged him, I knew he would shut me out again. And believe me, the fact that tone made my insides melt didn't gone by unnoticed to me. Even my heart was doing a little dance, and the nerves in my body were bouncing to the sound. He sounded like a lost little boy, and we weren't even talking about him. What had I not experienced? What had I missed? I felt like I'd lived a thousand years, just in this car alone.

"I mean, do you know love, or true happiness, or pain?" Alec asked, still not looking at me. I bit my lower at what he was asking.

"Have you?" I whispered.

My heart pounded in my chest at Alec mentioning the '_L_' word.. I had never been in love. And in my opinion, it didn't exist for vampires. I knew my parents felt something simular, but it couldn't of been love. Given that if they had, they wouldn't of gotten themselves killed. They would of stayed safe for me, for each other. But yet they were willing to throw whatever it is they had away. So no. Whatever they felt was fondness at its best, and it was clearly mistaken for the cupid, and Aphrodite crap. It was human emotions that belonged to humans alone. Not for us. Not for me.

Alec stole a glance from me and turned his eyes back on the road.

"I know life. I've been alive longer than anyone has a right to." He said honestly. I looked down at my hands, the pressure of the car building as I stared at him in awe.

_Please don't make me like you, Licorice. Please don't make me like you._

"I don't know what I would do if I was alive that long," I admitted. "Were you always….alone?" I breathed.

Alec closed his eyes and inhaled through his nose. I froze, and the seconds burned passed us before he spoke.

"No. I wasn't." He said, his voice sounding as if he were on the verge of breaking.

My heart leapt in my chest, and the urge to hug him ever persistent. But then, like a switch of the light, I felt the wall Alec put around himself go up. He wasn't going to explain to me how he came to be like this, the way he was. He didn't even have to tell me. I just knew. I also know something else.

He was lonely. I was right about that. But he hadn't always that way. It was one thing to start out in this world, and be alone. You're use to it. You know nothing else. It's a whole other story when you're new to being alone. You're always use to having someone there, always finding yourself looking behind you, expecting to see your loved one there ready for your next adventure. People do things out of habit everyday, and once they're alone, their world crashes before their eyes. They lose not only their company, their reason for living, but they also lose a part of themselves. I understood that, which is why I wasn't going to ask for any further information on the matter. I wasn't going to press him for his history, because I knew what it was like. Alec and I, we were on this island together. We were ship wrecked, and no one was there to save us. Not even each other.

I could feel tears burning in my eyes, and my nose starting to sting. I took a deep breath, trying to get a handle on my emotions.

Without saying anything, I just reached for Alec's right hand that was on his lap, while his left hand remained firmly on the steering wheel. I didn't know why I was doing this. I had never really held someone else's hand before. I mean, it wasn't like it was going to make the loneliness go away, but maybe it'll let him know that he wasn't the only one in this world who was new to this lone ranger shit.

Maybe he'd feel safe?

Reaching for his hand, I looked at his face as I interlaced my fingers with his, my palm molding with his. His hand was freezing, and his marble skin was hard like mine, which made him feel soft to my fingertips, unlike what humans would of felt had they touched him.

"I told you not to touch me," Alec said in a soft voice, not pulling back from my grasp on him. I nodded and kept holding on.

"Yep. You did."

I looked down at how perfect our hands looked together. They were both pale and delicate; it looked like a perfect match. His lovely hand made my hand look better, and I didn't think that was possible. It was like somehow his perfections were rubbing off on me.

I smiled, despite my inner voice telling me not to.

Suddenly I felt Alec squeeze my hand tighter. My body grew warm at the gesture, and my eye caught his red ones. I gasped silently as the beauty of them, the brightness of the day shining in them. They were two of the most perfect, sparkling rubies.

"I'm sorry I called you a child."

I blinked, my eyes growing huge. Did he just apologize to me? Me, of all people? I found myself floating again.

"I'm sorry I called you an old man."

Alec smirked, and I melted. Once again. Damn him.

Suddenly, Alec grew tense and withdrew his hand from mine. I hated how empty it felt. The absence of Alec's hand was giving me disappointment, and anger because of it.

Son of a bitch.

"I need to stop, to make a call…will you be okay?"

I nodded and rolled my eyes. Was he seriously thinking I was unsafe in his car? Or that I would run away again after what happen?

I didn't have to wonder who it was that Alec was calling. It seemed the only person to ever call Alec was Adriel, the unknown master of mine with the sex voice. I would tell Alec to say hello for me, but I thought better of myself. No way was I gonna get friendly what that psycho.

My civility only belonged to me and Alec. That was our deal, and nothing else. Besides, I doubt Alec even expected me to be nice to his friend, given the situation. Maybe I should shock the hell of him, and hug Adriel when I finally do see the non-vampire/non-human. The look on his face would be priceless. But then again, I think I would just end up throwing up.

As Alec parked the car at the closest gas station, a BP, and got out the car with his cell phone in hand. Sitting in the car alone, I got out mine as well. I mostly kept mine for games and internet purposes, because lets face the facts, I didn't have a lot of friends. At first, I got the phone because Jacob begged me to get one in case of an emergency and everything. But now? It was for _'Angry Birds'_ and _'Words with Friends.'_

No one ever called me.

Bringing my phone to life, I tapped on the Google app, typing in area codes for the U.S. There was a reason why I had memorized the first three digits of Adriel's phone number. I had a little plan up my sleeve.

I went to the white bar at the top and started pressing the numbers that had now forged their way into my brain.

I knew Alec would have been beyond pissed if he found out I was doing this, but I couldn't help it. Even if we decided to get to know each other, and build this trust, I was never going to stop wanting answers. It was a part of who I was, and it was my life on the line here. Not his. And even if we did have that moment , talking about being alone and all, I still felt like I had a right to know before we actually got there.

After what felt like forever, the answer to the unanswerable was finally here. I found out what 323 meant. Adriel was in…Hollywood?

I narrowed my eyes at the screen. Were we really going to Los Angeles? Why would Alec do that? How on earth did he have a friend in Hollywood of all places? This was the same Hollywood, right? The one that made most of most movies in America? I couldn't see it. Alec in L.A.? I mean, he was a vampire that glistened like a diamond in the sun, and he and I were headed to one of the suniest places on earth? Where they're was sand, palm trees, and BINIKIS!

Honestly, what was he thinking? He could expose himself to the human folks! Stupid vampire! What did he expect to do? Do the whole 'Lost Boys' thing and only come out at night time? Did he plan to wear a hoodie and gloves to cover his skin? That wouldn't attract any attention in the heat of summer, I'm sure.

Turning off my phone, I looked up to see Alec pacing. The clouds still covered the sun so that he moved about the parking lot freely without worry of his sparkling skin. I could feel the heat rushing to my cheeks at the thought of his marble skin, the way it looked right before I made a run for it not but a few hours ago.

He was beautiful. Broken, but beautiful all the same.

I watched all his movements, trying to figure out what he and Adriel were talking about. He was just far enough so that I couldn't hear a thing. He must of known I'd have been eavesdropping if I could. Figures. I wasn't good at reading lips, so I couldn't use that method to figure out what he was saying.

Whatever it was that he was discussing, it looked to be a heavy conversation, filled with frustrated comebacks, I'm sure. His body looked tense, and his fingers repeatedly went through his hair. I wondered what had gotten Alec all worked up. Was it my age again? Was he trying to talk Adriel out of wanting me?

A girl can be hopeful, right?

After watching Alec for a few moments, I looked up over to the other side of the parking lot where a red SUV was parked a few feet away from our car.. It was one of the few cars that were here. I didn't know what it was about this car that has caught my attention, but when I looked at the driver, my heart stopped.

Oh...my...

He had jet black hair, rustic skin, and huge muscular arms. He was tall...very tall. At first I thought I was seeing things. Clearly, it's been known to happen, but then I saw the driver get in his car. And I knew right there that it was him, the one I'd been waiting to find me, the only family I had left. It was the one who was suppose to take care of me. Just seeing his face made me want to cry.

My Jacob.

He was alive.

* * *

><p><strong>Writer's Note: Oh dear...haha. What is this! So...give us your thoughts! Hoped you liked this chapter! They're beginning to get a little closer, but...don't expect much anytime soon. There's still a lot of differances. haha.<br>Thank you all for the encouraging reviews! *hugs*  
>-IITM<strong>

**Feed Me! **


	6. Chapter VI: Boiling

********Disclaimer: We don't own Alec and Renesmee, for reasons we still don't understand. That doesn't mean we can't pretend and pull on the strings of their puppets, though. Happy reading, darlings! -Cee and Tiff {IITM} [Please read author's note at end of chapter!]********

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter VI: Boiling <strong>

_"Say cheese!" _

_Jacob, who was concentrating very hard on his master chef skills while making macaroni and cheese, turned around. I snapped the picture instantly, capturing a hilarious, clueless expression on his face. His mouth was hung open, his brow furrowed. He hadn't been expecting it. He looked hilarious in his flannel pajama bottoms that I bought him for Christmas, wearing nothing else. They were plaid with red and other warm colors. I knew Jacob hated them, and I knew the only reason he wore them was because he didn't want to hurt my feelings. I found it amusing. He thought I bought that fake enthusiasm when he opened up the box, pasting a fake smile to his face, pretending to be happy. Now, I had caught him wearing them on film. _

_"Why?" He wined, shaking his head. "Seriously, I look horrible. Why do you always take pictures of me when I'm only half dressed?" _

_"My, Jacob...have you gained weight?" I teased, walking over to him to poke him playfully in his abs. _

_We had finally come to a place where things weren't so awkward between us. For a short while, Jake and I had both tried our hand at romanticism. Whenever someone Imprinted, it was almost expected that later on in life, the girl would grow feelings romantically for the guy. I had expected to develop such feelings, and for a while, tried to make myself feel it. However, whenever we had kissed, it felt like kissing a brother or something. It was awkward and there was no heat behind it. Jacob wouldn't tell me this, but I knew he felt the same way. I think he was too confused about all of it, because he felt that he was supposed to feel things for me. But as the legends go, whatever I feel, Jacob will be okay with it. If I wanted him as a boyfriend, he'd be that. If I wanted him as a husband, he'd be that. If I wanted him as simply Jacob, my partner in life and friend, he'd be that. _

_That's what he was to me. He was my family and best friend. But he couldn't be my boyfriend. It was too weird. Although I knew Jacob would be the only choice for a boyfriend I'd ever have, which was sort of pathetic. It was the truth, though. I couldn't get too close to anyone else for that. Besides, who needed a boyfriend? I didn't want one. I mean, sure, I'd look at someone I thought was good looking, but I never took it farther. What would I do? Go and talk to them? The thought made me blush. I had zero flirtation skills. If I died a virgin, I would be perfectly okay with that. Too bad I would never die. _

_The eternal virgin. That sounds catchy. Yeah. I'd be the eternal virgin. That never, ever gets laid. _

_Jacob grumbled at the jab, and I laughed. _

_"What would you rather me say that you're ugly instead of fat? That you're dog ugly?" I laughed even harder then at my lame joke, starting to snort. "Get it...dog ugly?" _

_He started chuckling, no doubt because I was laughing so hard like an idiot. It really wasn't at all funny. I knew that. I made the stupidest jokes referring to Jacob being a werewolf, and they were never amusing to him. I, being the dork I was, seemed to think they were hilarious. _

_"Real smooth, Nessie." He smiled, shaking his head and turning his attention back to the food he was cooking. "Smooth." _

_"Well, you have me forever, so you might as well get used to my teasing." _

_"Who said forever?" He raised his eyebrows, a grin spreading over his face. "I never agreed to that! Besides...you know it isn't like that. I have to die eventually. I'm not immortal like you." He threw a kitchen towel that was sitting on the counter as my face. _

_I frowned, dodging the towel away from me. I didn't like the turn of conversation. I always forgot that Jacob wouldn't live forever like me. Phasing would keep him alive for a long time, but not long enough. Not nearly enough. The thought alone made my chest constrict, sending me into a panic. Jacob, looking at me face, could realize I didn't like talking about his death. _

_"Hey...you know, it wont be for a really, really long time. You'll probably end up getting sick of me before I bite the dust. Cheer up." _

_"What if I found a way? Like, in all those movies and TV shows, half werewolf half vampire stuff..." I paused, remembering the problem with that idea. "Oh...right...venom and you...don't mix well." _

_Jake cringed at the thought of being touched with the stuff. I rolled my eyes. Even if there was a way to turn him, he wouldn't do it. Just my luck, having my partner in life being judgmental over vampires. You'd think that would bother me, but I had learned to accept him for who he was. _

_"Let's just eat." He dished some of the macaroni into a bowl and placed on the kitchen table. I walked over to look at it, my nose scrunching up instantly. "Bon _

_appétit!" _

_"I'm not eating that." _

_"What! Why on earth not? I slaved over that hot stove, Ness! And you're not even gonna' try it?" He waved his arms dramatically, pointing to the stove. _

_I bit back a laugh, staring at the yellow goop in front of me. The noodles were stuck together around the un-melted chunks of butter, and the clunks of powered cheese scattered through the bowl. I nearly gagged looking at it. This was why I did the cooking. The one time I let him cook, he tries to poison me! Good grief. _

_"I value my life!" _

_"What if I take a bite first?" He walked back over to the pan, starting to bring the wooden cooking spoon to his mouth. I grabbed his arm before he could let it reach his mouth. _

_"Then you're going to die that much sooner! Don't do it! Promise me you'll just throw this away!" I pried the spoon out of his hand. "We'll order Chinese, okay?" _

_"Okay, fine..." He pouted, a little bit disappointed that I hadn't praised him for his cuisine. _

_"Hey, Jake?" _

_"Hmm?" _

_"I'm saving your life. I want you to be an old, wrinkled man with no teeth before you die. Understand?" _

_"Sure, sure."_

**XxXxX**

I couldn't breathe.

I stared in horror as the SUV drove out of the parking lot. I couldn't breathe, and I couldn't move. I knew I should have done something when I saw him get into the vehicle. I should have gotten out and ran to him then. But shock...shock paralyzed me. And it was only then when I saw him drive away that all my nerves seemed to find me once again.

He was alive. He was alive. Jacob was alive. That was him. I saw him. He had been right there. Right there. I knew it. Even if I didn't see his face, I knew it was him. I had to find him. He was getting away. He was leaving me again!

I didn't think about anything else but those facts. I didn't even begin to wonder why he left me, why he'd been gone for the past two years, or why he hadn't seen me. All I knew and all I processed was that I saw him. That was all that mattered.

_'Suuuure you're not thirsty, Nessie.'_

I opened the car door, stepping out to stand on my two legs. It felt like the earth was moving beneath me. I stumbled, my legs growing weak all of the sudden. I caught myself from falling by grabbing onto the door, somehow holding myself up. My knees trembled beneath me, and I worried any second my arms would also lose their strength and I'd fall to the ground. I stared at the road in the direction the SUV had gone.

_'No, I don't have to go anywhere.'_

Why did he leave me? Hadn't he seen me? Hadn't he sensed that I was there? Why did my heart feel like it was being ripped out of my chest? The world was losing its color, all sounds were a hum in my ears, and everything was spinning. I gripped onto my hair with my free hand that wasn't holding me up, the feeling of nausea overwhelming me. I was going to throw up.

_'Do I?'_

My hands shook violently, and when I tried to take a breath, it was as if my lungs rejected the oxygen. The feeling of nausea filled me at the echo of his voice slammed itself into my head repeatedly. I had never forgotten the moments of my childhood concerning Jacob. I hadn't forgotten hunting with him in the deep forests of Forks, or racing him, or biting him when I got impatient with breakfast. Nor had I forgotten the other numerous memories revolving around my family. In some ways, as long as Jacob was alive, so were they. The memories of them lived within him. I couldn't lose that.

The past two years of moving on and making a new life for myself was gone. Renesmee Cullen was popping up, overtaking my movements and brain. No matter how far I ran, she was always going to be there. She was always going to be searching for her family. My family, and my Jacob. And now he was here, and she wanted nothing more than to be with him.

I started taking steps forward, and ignored at the ground underneath my feet tilted drastically. I sprinted through the parking lot and towards the highway, not bothering to look back. There was nothing else left for me, nothing else that mattered. I could feel blood pumping in my scull, and I could hear the violent pulse of my heart in my ears. Black blotches started to invade my vision, and I tried blinking them away. It didn't help, and they were increasing with every step.

"Vanessa?" I heard a distant voice call. I continued to walk towards the road, images of the man getting into the SUV flooding through my mind.

"HERSHEYS!"

I blinked and all of the sudden, my vision was invaded with Alec. He looked panicked and concerned. My chest tightened, panic rising as I realized it was becoming harder and harder to breathe. My chest ached from lack of air passing through, but no matter how hard I tried to force it down, it wouldn't.

"We- follow." I choked out, pointing at the road.

Alec took my cheek in the palm of his hand, his eyes wide and anxious.

"Hersheys, BREATHE!"

I shook my head. "Have- to follow!" I panted, grabbing onto his bicep and tugging urgently. I was so weak though that it made no difference. I couldn't even try. "Please!"

"Hersheys, please calm down and tell me what happened. I can't help you if you don't tell me..." He said softly, his face tightening with confusion.

I blinked, trying desperately to take a big breath so I could speak clearly. We couldn't keep talking. Jacob was getting farther and farther.

"He's alive," I said. "He's alive. He- he didn't die!"

"What? You're not making any sense. Whose alive?"

"My Jacob! I have to find him!" I walked around him, another sob catching in my throat.

My legs were growing less stable by the second, and twice I had tripped over myself. I used the palm of my hands to push myself up off the rough pavement of the parking lot. I was just now stepping out onto the highway, completely ignorant of the cars zooming by. One would have hit me and I wouldn't have even noticed.

The SUV was nowhere in sight now, and I couldn't contain the pain inside of me any longer. Now on the side of the road, I felt myself tripping once again, only this time I felt secure hands wrap themselves around my waist. It was Alec.

"Whose Jacob? You're not in your right mind. There is no Jacob!"

"YES THERE IS! HE WAS RIGHT THERE!" I pointed to the parking lot where the SUV had previously been parked. Tears were spilling over onto my cheeks. The fact that he had left me once again hit me hard in the gut to the point where I was now screaming. I had no control of the things that came out of my mouth now, as I was completely controlled by my emotions.

"He left me. Why...why did he leave me?" I stared ahead, my lower lip trembling. That was when I lost any ounce of composure I had left in me. Vanessa was gone, along with her persuasive smiles and charms. She was dead. And I broke through. "JACOB! JACOB, COME BACK! WAIT FOR ME. PLEASE!"

I went limp in Alec's arms, and it was only his strength alone that held me from crawling helplessly on the ground.

"_DON'T LEAVE ME! JACOB! I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE WITHOUT YOU! I CAN'T...I'M NOT STRONG ENOUGH." _

My voice was overtaken my sobs that were now loudly filling the air. My chest heaved viciously, and I had to gasp for air in between my helpless cries for my brother. My arms stretched out forward, as if any moment Jacob would be filling them. My insides shredded apart, and there was nothing left. I felt so empty inside. The hole inside of my heart bled too much now for me to ignore it. Any patch work I had done to temporarily fix it was ripped.

I tried on a daily basis convincing myself that I was going to be okay, that I could survive without Jake. It turns out, I was mistaken, as I always was.

It wasn't until I felt my body turn by another person's arms that I remembered Alec. Alec, who knew nothing of the real me. Yet, even without knowing the specifics, he knew I was a fake. Now, it was too late, and I couldn't hide behind my charades. I couldn't pretend anymore, not after this. It was too late. I had let him in, let him see me at my weakest and more vulnerable point. I had taken off the mask of Vanessa, the mask that said I knew what I was doing. Now, he had leverage to destroy me. And right now? I couldn't have been strong enough to defend myself against him.

Bracing against the weight of his body, Alec now tucked two of his fingers under my chin, tilting my face upward so he could stare at me. I avoided eye contact with him; luckily the tears of my eyes blurred my vision anyways. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't see the way he was staring at me. I wouldn't have doubted if he was amused by all of this, of my breakdown. Right now, anything would break me that much further. I couldn't take it from him. I tried so hard, especially for him, to be strong. I couldn't take the humiliation of his taunts.

"Get off me!" I hissed, trying to shove him away. His firm grip held onto me, not allowing me to move.

"Look at me, Hersheys."

"No."

He leaned forward, his cheek flush with mine, his lips nearing my ear.

"Please...please, baby, just look at me." He whispered. My heart launched at the term of endearment, the desperate tone of his voice calling out to me. I closed my eyes, breathing in his scent, trying to compose myself.

He was so close. Too close for comfort. I wanted to hide behind the shell I had put myself. Because even though he was asking me to look at him, it wasn't as bad as the fact that he was looking at me. That was the problem. What did he see when he looked at me now that I was a rotten mess? Did he see a sad, eleven year old girl mourning for her big brother? Did he see a damaged nutcase? I could see why he would. Even in my own eyes I was a complete mess. But I had to do what he said. I was compelled.

I pulled back, lifting my eyes upwards to his, my lips still quivering. I was one insult away from losing it again. But the tenderness in his eyes comforted me a little, as stupid as that sounded. He also looked uncomfortable, unsure of what to do or what to say. I didn't blame him; I didn't know what to do either.

"I have to find him."

"...Jacob?"

I nodded, while he pursed his lips.

"And where is this Jacob going?"

"I...don't know. I-"

"How can you find someone if you don't know where they're going, Vanessa?" I knew he was speaking logically, and a part of me agreed. But another part of me was screaming inside, telling me to find him regardless of what Alec said.

"I can find him. I...I know his scent. I'll follow it." It sounded clever when I said it, but in reality, I knew nothing of tracking. When I got out of the car, I should have smelled it right then. Why hadn't I? I must have been too preoccupied on trying to actually breathe to notice Jacob's scent.

Alec sighed, his head shaking. "I don't understand...tell me what's going on."

I bit on my lower lip to keep it from quivering, trying to stop fresh tears from flowing out of my eyes onto my already wet cheeks.

"I thought he had died. I thought I lost him...but I just saw him in the parking lot, Alec...he was right there. He...he got into a car and he left." My voice cracked with every word.

"Don't you think he would have saw you?" Alec asked, his eyes still showing definite signs of concern and distress.

"I was in your car, and- and he wasn't paying attention!" I protested, my voice raising, taking on that desperate tone again. What was Alec trying to say?

His eyes closed as he rubbed his face with his hand roughly, something he seemed to do when he was stressed. I stared down the highway, wondering when he would let me go so I could go and find Jacob. Didn't he understand that this was urgent?

"Vanessa," he began slowly, the tone of his voice indicating that whatever he was about to say, I was not going to like it. "When was the last time you saw him?"

I shook my head, as I really couldn't think to remember. Everything was hazy. "I don't...I can't think!"

"Yes, you can. You know exactly when you saw him last...tell me."

Why was this even important? Who cares about the last time I saw him? I had more important matters to think about!

"Almost three years ago! But-"

"Listen to me, Hersheys." He interrupted, placing one of his hands on my shoulders. He looked me straight in the eyes, and I wanted nothing more than to look away from them, but I couldn't. "I know you don't want to hear this...but you need to."

I shook my head in protest, my mind always understanding what he intended to say. If it were any other day before this one, I would have completely agreed with him. But not now; not after I saw him.

"No..." I whispered.

"Why would he show up now out of the blue? Why would he be here?" Alec asked, raising his eyebrows.

"He isn't dead." I stated in a flat voice, my eyes narrowing. There was a transition within me, switching from pain to anger. Right now? Alec was really pushing it.

"If he's not dead, then why isn't he with you right now? Where has he been the past two years?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" I screamed.

I didn't want to talk about this anymore. I didn't want to think about the reasons as to why Jacob would leave me and run off. In truth, there was no reasons. He was bound to me. He couldn't have left. He was imprinted. So, I knew that wasn't an option.

So...if he didn't leave me, and he didn't die...then what happened? As much as I kept trying to ignore that very question Alec asked, I couldn't stop thinking about it. Why hadn't he seen me as I had seen him? He would have known right away that I was near him. But he never turned a glance in my direction.

I didn't even see his face.

No.

"I'm not crazy. I know what I saw." I hissed, staring into Alec's face that tightened.

"You see what you want to see," his voice was low, and his eyes looked pained. "I understand how real it can be, Hersheys. I think I see her everywhere...but it's not real."

I froze, studying the loss in his eyes. Her...who was _her? _I could see it all in his face that someone he had cared about died. I knew that look. I saw it every time I looked in the mirror. I was right. Alec hadn't always been alone. He had someone. A _her_. Had she been his mate? Was he still in love with her? What else could this _her _be? How long ago had this happened?

Just as soon as I saw that utter despair in Alec's eyes, it was gone. He blinked once, sighing deeply through his nose. I knew then that there was no chance in hell he was going to explain to me who she was. He was cutting off any questions I had before I answered them. I respected that, because if it weren't for this whole ordeal, I would have never told him about Jacob.

I stood there in silence, not knowing what to say. A feeling of defeat washed over me, and I felt nothing inside of myself. If it hadn't been Jacob, then I had just put myself through unnecessary anguish. The two years of perfecting my fake persona of happiness was stripped away for nothing. I had bared my soul to Alec for nothing.

I had made myself accept his death once before, and it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I didn't know if I could do it again. Holding onto a sliver of hope was better than nothing. Because if I didn't have hope for Jacob, then I really was alone. I had nothing. If I did have faith...then it was like a part of Jacob was still with me.

How long can you hold onto hope? Another few years? Fifty years? You can't say he's alive forever.

"Alec..." I whispered in the most pathetic of voices. He tilted his head a little to one side, his eyes focusing on me. "I'm scared...I'm scared of eternity. I'm scared of living as long as you have."

"Welcome to immorality."

"How do you do it?" I asked. "How do you handle it?"

"You get accustomed to it." Alec replied dully.

I shook my head, doubting I could ever get accustomed to this sort of agony. I really wasn't strong enough, and if I ever thought I had been, I'd been fooling myself for my own benefit.

I turned my head around to look back down the highway, frowning as I wondered what I had seen. Was it him? Was it a ghost? Was I insane to hold onto hope that he might still be out there? Quite possibly to all of the above.

A cold hand turned my face away from the highway, and guided my gaze back towards Alec. Still looking conflicted and awkward, he sighed again, removing his hand from my face.

"Won't you come back to me?" He asked in a barley audible voice, as if he didn't want to hear himself say it. I swallowed, feeling that stir inside of myself. It was that feeling that I got when I was drawn into him. It was that feeling I had continuously been trying to bury in the past two days spent alone with him.

Had it only been two days? It felt longer. Too much had happened too soon. Way to soon. This was not how it was suppose to be. I was suppose to grow up and be with Jacob. He was suppose to be alive long enough to actually live his life. He was suppose to take care of me. And now? I'm a willing slave to this guy who hates me. He thinks I'm ugly and annoying and I think I feel something to him. it's the oddest thing. He is everything I hate. He's mean and cruel but when he talks to me like he is now, all I want to do is get lost in to him. To stay lost and not have to care. I want to be lost in him so badly.

"I'm right here." I said, without any control of thought to what I was saying. "I'm always going to be right here. Forever."

"It'll pass-"

"It'll never pass whether not Jacob is alive, I'm alone. I'm always alone. Even when I'm here with you."

Alec titled his head, giving me a confused expression. I looked up at his eyes. Seeing the growing concern for them. My mind screaming at me. As it always did. The need to make all go away overwhelming me. Swallowing me whole. This is nothing new. This is what always happened. My mind's voice hissing in my ear, that it made me freeze in my place.

Get lost in him.

Make the pain stop.

Feel something just for a moment that was good.

Feel him.

"Vanessa…"

"Take me." I whispered, cupping his face in my hands. His cool skin chilling into my warm hands. He felt so good to touch. So right. My something good. That's all it always is though. Why I sleep with guys. They were my something good. And Alec could help me. He could help me forget it all. Forget Jacob, and the guy in the SUV. He could make it all go away. All I had to do was reach out and feel him.

I closed my watery eyes and sighed. Feeling him so close felt so right. I knew that tomorrow I was going to regret asking him this. Tomorrow I will hate myself more for wanting this of him. From the troll. But now? I just wanted to melt into him. To feel numb. Jacob was alive. I knew that. But he wasn't here. And I wasn't with him. And by the looks of it. I will never be. People can't force someone to stay. And I was done feeling nothing.

"What?" He whispered, I bit my lip and ran my fingers through his hair. His soft angel hair.

"Take me now. Make me feel something good. Make me feel you-"

"Hersheys, I can't-"

"I know it's insane. But I need it. I need you…here.." I said, taking his hands from his side and guiding them along side my breasts. I shivered at the contact. My breasts were hardening instantly, ready for more. Alec's hands were so beautiful. Always delicate and long. It was one of his best features. Oh, to feel them on me. In me. He would be the distraction I needed to fill the void in my pathetic life. He would make it hurt less. I knew he could. He was sexy without even trying. Hell, just by him touching me like this, I felt myself getting better, and I know he could perform. He was ready too back in the Bed and Breakfast. But now was different. Now it wouldn't be pretend. I did need him. And by the groaning deep inside Alec's throat. I knew he needed something too.

I tilted my head at him, leaning towards his mouth. He was so close. His mouth inches from mine. All I had to do was press my mouth to his and it all would be over for a little while. That peace. That heaven. It was just at my finger tips. I closed my eyes, getting closer. Alec's breath stopping all together. This was it. He was giving me what I want-no. he was giving me something I needed.

I thought I was home free. Till I felt Alec back away from me. My heart stopping at the absence of his body near mine.

"Why are you doing this Vanessa?"

"Because I-"

"It's because of this Jacob? Is that it? Your boyfriend died?"

I blinked, my head spinning around his words. Anger perked up inside me. Anger and hurt. What the hell was happening now?

"I told you I saw him-"

"You saw someone look like him, Vanessa. You did not see him. You want to know why you didn't see him, sweets?" My heart sank. Seconding passing before he finished the sentence. "Because, he's dead. He's not coming back."

I was seeing red. The rage boiling inside of me leaking over to the point where I imagined killing Alec. Who just a second ago was telling me to come back to him. When really, it felt like I wasn't the one going anywhere. He was. He was leaving nice Alec behind and I was getting up close and personal with the troll. Who decided to even more of a ass then before. Because before, he was mean because he could. He didn't know me. He didn't have truly anything against me to use. And now? Now he knew I lost someone, someone I loved and he was throwing it in my face. Nothing could prepare me for this. I knew it was going to get worse it always did, but yet I couldn't put up the wall of protection up fast enough. I could feel myself wanting to break just at waiting for him to hurt me more.

"He's not dead." I said, trying to remain calm. My breathing coming out uneven.

"Yes he is, and I think you know that. He's gone. He's not here. You will never see him again. Hugo has left the building! You know I bet you he's laughing now. Right up there. Getting a good joke at the way your throwing yourself at me. All because of some random look-a-like."

"STOP IT!" I screamed shoving Alec away and started storming off towards the car. Alec followed, despite the fact that he was the last person I wanted with me right now. To think I almost gave myself to him. Thinking that he could heal me, that I could heal him. I thought he needed to forget whoever it was that made him so cold, when really he wanted to be this way. For reasons I did not know.

Nor did I care. Not any longer. I was a moron for asking him to sleep with me. I was mentally sick!"Why? Because I'm right?"

"Because, you are doing this because you are scared. Whoever 'she' is. Whose ever face you see everywhere you go. I hope to god she's as good as dead, because no one deserves to be alone more then you!"

Suddenly Alec stopped walking. I turned and glanced at him from the corner of my eye. His face emotionless, out of no where I felt my back being pressed into the car's door. My body carried into super vampire speed so fast that I got the wind knocked out of me. Alec's eyes glazing into mine with hatred and disgust. The look only confirming that I succeeded in what I wanted.

I hit a nerve.

"You don't know anything about her! So don't pretend you do!" Alec hissed, his grip on me making me wince in pain as I wiggled against him. His cold, hard body pressing into mine. The handle of the door digging into my back.

"And you know nothing of Jacob! He's a live, I know it!"

"THEN HE DOESN'T _WANT_ YOU!" Alec roared, his eyes as hard as two red marbles. "He left you. You're alone. GET USED TO IT!"

I refused to release the angry tears that burned my eyes. Alec's face blurred behind the unshed tears, and I was glad I have to look at his sharp features.

"Yeah, and you're the expert on being alone, aren't you?" I said, failing to attempt to sound like I didn't take anything he was saying to heart. It was the exactly the opposite. Everything he said cut into me deeper and deeper, and it stung like hell, penetrating all my worst fears that I had gotten good at hiding. Way to bring them all back to the surface. "I may be alone, but at least, unlike you, I still have a soul."

Alec's mouth curved into a spiteful smile; I wanted to rip it right off his face.

"Oh, you are turning into me. You're just in denial."

The hands at my sides curled into fists, wishing I was strong enough to knock him on his ass. I knew there would be no avail.

"I'm nothing, nor will I ever be, _anything_ like you." I squared my shoulders, and I felt as if I had grown an inch taller. He still towered over me, however. I tried tell myself he was only stronger than my physically, but mentally, I had the upper hand. But who was I kidding? Inside, I was an emotional train wreck.

I had gone from utter desperation, screaming for my best friend, to sink even lower vulnerability as I tried giving myself to Alec, to feeling such anger that it was now seeping out of me everywhere. One extreme to the next, and trust me, it didn't do well to my body. I felt exhausted, inside and out. I had no idea how I was finding the strength to go against Alec right now, because all I really wanted to do was curl up into a ball and stay there until Jacob came back to me.

"Sure, you're not."

"Let go of me," I hissed, struggling against his cold grip. I was growing disgusted with how close he was to me. I was even more disgusted by the words that flew out of his mouth next.

"But sweetheart...I thought this was what you wanted." His voice was unnaturally gentle. It was fake, it was mocking. "I thought you wanted us to be close, so I could take you and make all of your problems vanish." His leaned his lips near towards my mouth; I stiffened into a statue. "Is this good for you, Vanessa?"

I felt a growl ripple through my chest, and when Alec pulled back, I saw my arm flying in a fast speed towards his face. I slapped him hard across his marble cheek, the sound of the impact loud and harsh. His head whipped sideways, and I saw a two inch long crack starting to heal on his pale cheek. My palm stung like hell, as hitting a concrete surface normally would, but I ignored it.

Alec's eyes cut to me, a dark chuckle breaking the silence.

"I can't believe I thought there was something worth liking about you." My voice was surprisingly even, yet quiet. "I thought that maybe you were just being cruel to hide something, but I can see it's just who are you. There's nothing more to you, is there? You're just hollow."

Something flicked behind Alec's eyes, and for a split second, it looked like my words had impacted him. But in another seconds time, it was gone, and he was just staring at me with another empty gaze that made my skin crawl.

"Oh, you got it all wrong about me, Hersheys." Again, it was that mocking voice that I decided I hated even more than the look he was giving me. "There's so much emotion inside of me just burning away. In fact, maybe I'm even falling for you. Yeah, falling for you, your thoughts that slip inside of my head, and everything else in between."

_Don't break again. Don't cave in._

It was hard. I wish I could just feel numb inside, like nothing could hurt me. I wish that this day had never happened. It had been one disaster after another since the moment I woke up. First I was almost killed by a vampire, then the incident in Barnes and Noble that made me question whether or not I was starting to grow possessive and attached to Alec, and now? I wanted nothing more then to rid myself of him, and never look back.

"SHUT UP!" I screamed, hitting his chest with my fists repeatedly.

He grabbed hold of them, pulling the rest of my body closer to him as he lowered his mouth to my ear again.

"Do you hate me now...?" He whispered, his voice softer and almost hopeful.

I froze, my head tilting away so I could stare at him. His eyes were still empty, but look as harsh as they did a few moments earlier. That's when I realized something, something I hadn't really considered before.

"That's what you want, isn't it?" I breathed, my voice not nearly as horrified as what I was feeling. "You want me to hate you...you're mental!"

"Like you're so much better," he replied, his voice bitter. "At least I don't want to sleep with a bastard, like you appear to."

Caught off guard and offended that he was even bringing that up again, I shuffled my feat underneath me.

"I...I don't. I was vulnerable and not in my right mind." I stuttered, referring to the humiliating scene back on the highway.

He sighed, shaking his head slowly, his lips pursing at he stared at with a cocked eyebrow.

"Don't lie."

"I'm not lying!"

He groaned. "It would be so easy! I could have you now and you wouldn't want to stop me!" He sounded more frustrated than he did smug. "Hell, I could make you come while barely touching you, that's how much you're drawn into me.."

Even in the middle of all my anger and disrespect towards him at this very moment, him saying that kind of shit still seemed to penetrate some sort of nerve inside of my body, and I felt disgusted that it had. This was NOT the time for my body to be reacting like this. My mind was on the right page, fully aware of what was happening and how much I despised him. My body was an entirely different network, and it didn't seem to care whether or not I wanted to feel aroused.

DAMN HIM!

This stupid son of a bitch was toying with EVERYTHING! He makes me feel like complete shit, tears me down even farther than I already was, and now THIS? No. Not this time. He couldn't allure me with talk like that. Not after the things he said. I was stronger than this.

As if to command my own body to get its act together, I pulled my shoulders back, mentally refusing to allow any other physical aspect concerning attraction towards the asshole standing in front of me to resurface.

"You're wrong." I said in a low, flat voice. "You disgust me."

"I disgust you so much that you seem to think I'm yours?" He accused, and I felt my head tilting a little, something about what he said seeming familiar. "I mean, that's what you thought after you saw me and Amber talking in Barnes and Noble, right? You felt smug that all my attention was focused back on you."

My heart stopped, and I couldn't summon any form of speech. There was no possible way. He wouldn't be able to know that unless...No, it that couldn't happen.

"Or how about last night back in the B&B, when I was kissing your neck? You started to pulsate between your legs when you felt me brush against your navel...and no, I wasn't thinking about someone else."

_No, no, no._

"And back in the woods after I saved your life? You had to restrain yourself from kissing me, as my bottom lip was just begging to be sucked on.."

This couldn't have been happening. Not now. I really couldn't take another blow, especially not one as extreme as this. Because what he was implying? It was bad. Really, really bad. It implied that somehow, my thoughts had transferred to him without my consent. It meant that I was totally unaware of my ability taking action. It meant that some part of me was completely defenseless to him, and that angered me. I used my ability when I allowed it, and I was always aware of when it happened. I could feel it, how my thoughts linked to another. This was just something else he had taken away from me.

"You...you weren't supposed...that was...I didn't mean..."

"Didn't you?"

"No!" I protested. "You were never meant to hear those things! They were a mistake!"

"Yeah, they were, Hersheys." He said in a serious tone of voice, no hints to sarcasm or humor. "So...next time you start to get the warm fuzzies, just think about what a dick I can be, and remember that I'm the villain here."

He blinked once and stepped back, heading towards his car door.

"Get in."

Get in? I couldn't move, let alone get inside his car. I was left with another load of emotions. Confusion, more anger, more humiliation, and let's not forget the hole that burned in my chest because of Jacob. Seriously, how much was I supposed to handle? I replayed all of his words, all the things that I had thought that had transferred to his own head.

He knew I wanted to kiss him.

He knew how much I had wanted him

He knew that I felt his hardness and what I had thought when I did.

He...he said he hadn't been thinking of someone else...

I knew I should sworn to hate him and loath him for being the dick he was. I should run screaming bloody murder and never set foot in that piece of shit car of his. But something didn't set right with him. Something I couldn't place. I knew deep down that everything he was saying was to piss me off. That wasn't the puzzling part. It was the why. Why would someone go from 'come back to me' and calling me baby to 'your always going to be alone.' within seconds? What had changed? was it me? It had to be. I was the one throwing myself at him, he always said it was just a insult for me to say his name. so that could be it. But why did he have to go and say stuff about my thoughts? About him kissing my neck? I don't know why I'm even bothering trying to figure him out. Weather or not he has a reason doesn't change things. He had a choice on his actions and he always chooses the wrong ones. I thought maybe there was something more to him then meets the eye but all there is in him is darkness. And he enjoys it that way. So regardless if he was doing this to push me away, which is what I suspect, I'm going to do what he wants. I will not feel anything for him. No remorse, no pity. Nothing. He should be happy about that.

"COME ON!" Alec said, rolling down the window. I narrowed my eyes and turn the direction that the SUV went.

_Jake. If you are alive, I hate you. For leaving me with him. _

"Hersh-"

"ALRIGHT!" I snapped, opening the door and stepping in. I put on my seat belt and glaring at my driver.

"My name is VANESSA. Cut the shit with the nickname." I said, looking out the window. I wasn't crying anymore. I didn't care to shed any tears. I just wanted sleep to elope me. I wanted one minute away from him so that I can gain all my thoughts. If I had the ability to go back in time and freeze at the moment that Alec walked out this car for that stupid phone call I would. But then again, I wouldn't know how Alec truly is. A scared, pathetic little boy. I was right about him being lonely and scared. But it doesn't matter, because he made himself that way. I know I shouldn't of offered myself to him in that way, but it was something I've always known. It was how I coped with things.

For a second, I think if he just agreed to it we wouldn't be in this mess. We'd be enjoying something pure and pleasurable.

I closed my eyes and pictured what it would be like had he said yes. Our body struggling to get close. His shaft thrusting in and out of me as I mold into him. His lips kissing into-

AH! No! I hate him! I hate him, I hate him, I HATE HIM.

God, what is wrong with me? Why can't I just not want him? Even now? Why can't I get myself not to care? He seems too. He seems perfectly content with being alone. He made that clear. And all that bullshit about falling for me? That was just to get under my skin. It wasn't real. Nothing with him is real. Nothing!

I feel like throwing up just by the fact that no matter what I do my brain will always think that about him. I can't handle this. This issue! This issue and the many more that come on my plate.

I have a master in Los Angeles. That I willing gave myself too.

I have a guardian that is walking around here somewhere not giving a fuck about me.

My driver to said master, is as asshole on crack.

And here's me. Wanting a piece of that asshole still.

How is this even possible?

It's not. It's how my brain handles things. It still wants to forget the pain and give in to him. That is all. It's amazing how the brain works. It thinks since he's good looking that I should just sleep with him. When clearly he has the capability to rip me to sheds. Apparently that fact doesn't matter to female sex. Freaking brilliant.

I loathed him.

"We're stopping at a hotel in about five miles." Alec said, after a half hour of driving. I love how fast my mind can speed up time. It felt like we were in this car for five minutes rather then thirty.

"Wow." I said sarcastically, not looking at him. If I look at him, I'll just think about other things that I shouldn't. like his eyes. Or his lips….

Just remember he's a dick. Come on, Renesmee. You can do this. You can't just let him off the hook this quickly. Honestly woman, do you enjoy the pain he inflicts on you?

APPARENTLY!

"Still mad, huh?"

I said nothing. People always say there is no such thing as stupid questions? Well their wrong because Alec -with no last name- just asked one. I mean people in freaking Mars can see that I'm still pissed. A half hour doesn't change that.

"Hungry?"

I scoffed.

"Will you just talk to me?"

"I'm giving you want you want Alec." I said turning my face at him. My eyes showing no emotion I'm sure. "You said every time I think something nice about you, to remember that you're evil. That's what I'm doing. The whole trust thing? That's gone. I will never trust you. So stop with the small talk and pretending to care, because you made it clear you don't. I will not talk to you, because quite frankly there's nothing for us to talk about. Not anymore. That whole touching thing? No worries, I'll make sure that never happens again.

"I just hope that this trip to Los Angeles is quick, because the faster we get there, the quickest I can get away from you. Yes, I know we're going there. Wow, what a surprise. And since we're all on the open now. Let me make something very, very clear. I wanted you. Yes. Sue me, but believe me when I say I don't anymore. My brain thinks it does, but I don't. alright? So don't ask me if I'm hungry, because as of now I will not eat anything till we get to Adriel. Got it? I've learned my lesson. You want to be the villain Alec? Congrats, you are one."

I didn't speak to him all the way to the hotel. Not when we parked. Not when we went and got the key, or anything. I went and locked myself away. Mentally, emotionally and physically in the bathroom of the hotel room. I wanted nothing to do to him. I didn't even want to look at him and when he left the room to do god knows what, I could of cared less. I took a shower. Feeling numb from the inside out and made sure to wash all the grime and tears off my face with a washrag. I also paid close attention to my neck. The mark of Alec still on my skin. I washed that so hard, I thought I would bleed.

So much shit has happened to today. So much shit all around.

After about a hour in the bathroom, I quickly got into some Pajamas and ran into the bed. Covering myself whole with the bedspread. Alec was still not to be found.

I was moments from falling asleep when I heard Alec's phone go off on the night stand beside his bed.

I was going to let it ring when it kept going on and on and on. Finally, I got up and pressed 'Talk.' knowing who it was before I even answered.

"Listen, before you even go off on me again about the girl, let me remind you, you were the one who thought this was a brilliant idea, Alec. So don't give me that your having second thoughts crap okay? It's not my fault your starting to like her and is suddenly growing a "

I could feel my eyes growing huge with the statement racing into my head. Alec was having second thoughts about bringing me to Adriel? What?

"Alec? You there? Are you giving me the silent treatment? Cause, I-""Adriel," I said, my voice getting shaky. "What do you want?"

"Chocolate girl? Did you steal Alec's phone again?" Adriel asked, I closed my eyes and inhaled. My fury raging inside of me. Everything inside boiling over the top like a pot of water on a hot stove, and Adriel was the knob of the temperature. Rising higher and higher. Making me go over the edge.

"What do you want?" I hissed, sitting on Alec's bed, with his cell to my ear.

"My, my…someone's pissy today. Alec being an asshole again? I for sure thought things were better now, considering how he talked about you earlier. Tell Adriel everything."

I rolled my eyes. Like I would tell him anything. It's not like he would understand anything. No one would. And even if they did they'd think I was insane.

"Alec's not here. You'll have to call back later."

"Hmm, can't say I'm disappointed." Adriel said, his voice hitting that seductive tone again. I shivered, without even realizing it. "Please, humor me Vanessa? What is the matter?"

I sighed.

What the hell, I'm going to be living with this douche anyway, might as well make friends with him. Right?

I hope to god, this doesn't bite me on the ass.

"Alec…said things he can never take back and I…I still find myself-"

"Horny. Yes, I can sense that.." Adriel hummed, as if he understood everything. Honestly I don't know why this Adriel cares so much about Alec's and mine's relationship but apparently he did. You would think that he wouldn't considering he owns me, and wants me for his own. Maybe he wasn't like what I imagine him to be. Maybe he doesn't want me the way I think. Gosh, this man was such a mystery to me. The more I talked to him, the more questions I had. I only had a few clues to go on. Like he was in Los Angeles. He had a voice of a sex god, and he wasn't human. Nor vampire.

What the hell was he? Maybe if I got him talking enough I can figure it out.

"Do you have to say it like that? Yes, I'm attracted, but I shouldn't be. He's a dick and it's only because my emotions are out of whack right now, with me seeing Jacob and crying and-""Whoa whoa whoa, whose Jacob?"

Shit. I've said to much. Clearly Adriel's going to know more about me then I'm ever going to find out about him. My plan was officially backfiring.

"Jake's my friend. Like a brother sort of. I thought he died but he didn't." I said, honestly. So much for kept secrets with this guy. It seems as though he had a ability to pull stuff out of me without even looking at me in the face.

I was in serious trouble when it comes time to meet this guy.

"Okay, so let me get it straight. You saw Jacob, you cried, Alec became a douche."

"Yeah after I asked him for sex, and you know he could of told me no, nicely but-""HOLD THE PHONE.. You asked him for sex?"

"Yeah?"

"After crying for another guy?"

"What?"

"Vanessa…" Adriel sighed. I didn't like the sound of it. Then again, I haven't liked a lot of things lately. "Did you tell Alec, Jacob was just a friend?"

I bit my lip and tried to remember back to the event. Even though it was the last thing I wanted to recall.

Did I tell Alec?

I'm sure it came up.

Right?

I don't remember telling Alec about Jacob. Why? Because I simply didn't. why would that matter?

"You didn't did you?" Adriel sighed. I narrowed my eyes and mentally kicked his ass on the other end of the phone.

So what if I didn't tell Alec about Jacob and my relationship? At this point, I'm glad I didn't. what right did he have to speak to me that way? And if I tell him I doubt it would change anything. Once a douche, always a douche. The fact was he said things that hurt me. He enjoyed hurting me. And I was a idiot for still wanting him. Even though the more I thought about it the more I didn't want him as much. Talking with Adriel had helped in that area, If we weren't talking about the subject at hand, I probably wouldn't think of Alec at all.

Okay that's a lie, I probably would've. But still, it wouldn't hurt as much. As crazy as it sounds, it hurts less letting it all out with Adriel. He was the last person I expected it make things better but he had. He was like Dr Phil. But without the TV show bullshit. I wondered what he looked like.

"It doesn't change what he said Adriel."

"Yes, Alec can be a asshole, and he says things that are beyond measure. Trust me, I know, but he has a reason. He's not that way just because he can be."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. What reason did I give him? Whatever it was it didn't make up for what he said. Then again, I also said some horrible things. But I'm not ready to be sorry for that yet. Everything I said had some truth in it. He deserved to be alone, because it's what he wanted. People got what they want. They want to push people away, then they'll be alone. His problems aren't mine. I had my own issues to deal with. For starters, finding Jacob's reason for leaving me. It's all I can think about. Is getting answers. And Adriel? Well I wasn't sure how he fit into this. Or why he was even trying to defend Alec, but then again Alec did say they were friends. But how did they meet? Where? When? Once again I'm left with nothing but burning questions in my skulls and no one around that was willing to show light on the subject, and now that Alec and my deal is off I wasn't going to get anything out of him anytime soon.

I made that clear in the car in the parking lot, didn't I?

I doubt he would tell anything anyways. He probably lie about everything anyway. He enjoyed me being in the dark about what's going on.

The bastard.

"Listen to me okay? Try seeing it from his point of view eh? You like a girl. She's bawling her eyes out over some guy who might be a boyfriend, and you have the emotional capability of a teaspoon. Look at him not as Alec, but as a man whose been though a lot of-"

"You think he likes me?" I cut him off, my eyes growing wide at his words. Adriel said nothing for a while. I took his silence as his answer.

Of all the bullshit I've heard in all my life, Alec actually liking me was by far the worse. He couldn't like anyone. He has no heart. No soul. And he said so himself he found me to look like dog. Like I was ass-ugly in his mind, and here is the man's friend and he's telling me he thinks Alec actually gruelingly feels for me.

I closed my eyes. Picturing his face and his words.

For some reason I thought about the time he said he wasn't attracted to me. He said my eyes were to big, and my nose was to long, and lets not forget that my dyed hair was to dark for his liking. Yeah according to him I was ugly. Annoying and selfish.

No. he couldn't like me. Thinking about even the possibility made me want to rip my hair out for reasons I didn't know. Usually when a guy liked me I knew right away. And how I felt about it. Just hearing that Alec might like me made me confused. If he did like me, and that's taking a major leap, he had a real shitty way of showing it. Pushing me around, calling me names, and hurting me. He enjoyed putting me through pain. How can I think that he liked me as a person or as something more? It was simple. I couldn't, but yet somewhere deep inside me I still wish for it to be true. Even when I hated him It never changed.

I never wanted to kick my own ass more then I do right now. Why is my brain stuck on obsessive Alec-mode?

"Oh poor girl. You are blinded. I'm not even with you and I see you have your hooks in him. Not that I blame him at all in the matter. You can't help who you feel for." Adriel signed.

"Alec doesn't feel-"

"Lets not pretend shall we? And you my sweet, have feelings as well. Don't worry about hurting my feelings. It doesn't effect my feelings towards you."

I felt my mouth drop. Like him? LIKE HIM! It's one thing to say that he liked me, but a whole other story to accusing ME of such things. I was attracted, but there were reasons for that, valid reasons. He was hot, a vampire, and I was emotionally screwed up. See? Valid reasons. But for Adriel to go so far to say that I _liked _him? He might as well have been speaking a different language. I didn't like anyone. I couldn't even stand the sight of myself, let alone someone else. All the men I'd slept with through the past couple of years, they were just fun, a distraction. That didn't make Alec any different. I was going to make him a distraction, until he rejected me. He was no different than any other person I fed on or slept with. The emotional attachment of actually liking somebody and caring? I didn't have it. I didn't have it in me anymore. Love didn't exist for vampires; and liking, leads to love, making Adriel sound even more mental than Alec.

"He doesn't like me, I don't like him, and we're perfectly okay with that."

"Right, and that's why you're having so many problems with wanting him."

I bit the inside of my cheek, wishing now that I had never said anything to him. I knew this was going to bite me in the ass.

Stupid Renesmee. Always, always, ALWAYS opening your stupid mouth.

"It's just physical attraction. There's nothing emotional about it! I want his body, not his heart…not that he even has one-"

"If you think there's no emotional attachment, you're far more broken than he is." Adriel said with a sigh.

Why did everyone keep thinking I was so similar to him? Why did no one see but me that we were two worlds apart? I was not him. I was not broken. I was depressed and bitter, but not broken, and it pissed me off that this person I didn't know kept assuming things. What did he know about me? Nothing. Just like Alec. In fact, he was worse than Alec, because he started all of this! It was because of Adriel No Last Name that I was in this predicament. If he hadn't talked Alec into taking me, I would be a free bird spreading my wings. Instead, I had Alec, who shot me down and cut off my wings. And…and…how dare he think I liked him? It was insulting! It would take a heartless person to like someone like Alec, and I wasn't heartless. Not completely. I mean, I always gave pleasure to those before I ended them.

"THERE IS NO EMOTIONAL ATTACHEMTN!"

"You know, for someone who feels nothing, you sure are getting defensive, V."

"Why are you even trying to play matchmaker? He's bringing me to _you_! He kidnapped me for _you._"

There was a long pause after that. I was starting to think we had lost connection. I called his name a couple of times. It took me saying it three times before he spoke.

"There was no kidnapping….you agreed, did you not?"

I scoffed.

"Yeah, because he blackmailed me. I didn't have any other options."

"Let me get this straight…the reason you were against all of this before…is because he blackmailed you?" Adriel asked, genuine shock in his voice. "I thought it was because you hated him, and you didn't know me."

"Well, I don't." I replied. "I don't like him, and I don't know you. I don't even know what you are. Alec says you're not human, and not a vampire either…are you a shape shifter?"

"…Of sorts, yes. But not the kind you're thinking."

"That doesn't help me at all." I groaned. "But you know about shape shifters, right? The kind I'm talking about?"

"Indeed. But do you know the kind I'm talking about…?"

"Obviously not…but you can change form? What do you change into?"

He chuckled mischievously, and if he were here with me, I'd slap him in the face.

"Why would I want to do that? If I tell you, you're not going to enjoy these little chats of ours anymore." He sighed again. "And I'd be so bored. In fact, I'm already getting bored" He paused for a couple of seconds, then spoke again. "…What are you wearing right now, V?"

I groaned. He was using the universal proposal to phone sex. By the sounds of his voice, he was quite serious. He really wanted to know what I was wearing, and I was starting to find myself blushing. I looked down at my clothes, and knew there was no way in hell I was going to tell him what I was wearing right now.

I was sitting on Alec's bed, with an oversized tee shirt on with g-string panties. I knew I was depressed and wanted a distraction, but I did not want phone sex with Adriel. I wasn't that stupid. I was desperate, but not stupid. So, even if he did have a sex voice and I wanted answers, I wasn't going to go that low to get them. I might have had self esteem issues, but I didn't hate myself that much. I didn't care how sexy his voice was. I had some morals.

"Focus!" I snapped. "Just tell me what you are!"

"I've just given you two clues, one of them the biggest of them all, and you missed it."

"This isn't a puzzle, Adriel.""If it were, what are the two pieces you have so far?"

I thought for a second, thinking about everything Alec and Adriel had told me, and I still came up with a big, fat pile of nothing.

"Talk to me when you put them together."

That's when Adriel hung up. And right when I heard the dial tone, the door opened.

I froze with the phone still pressed up against my ear.

In all the times I'd been with Alec, I had never been more scared than I was right then.

His eyes blazed into me with anger and rage. His hands curled into fists, and his jaw clenched. I heard something hit the ground. I looked down, and it was a bag of Hershey's Drops.

Had Alec seriously brought me candy? A candy after what he called me? Why did that gesture warm me up inside just a little? Well, I felt warm until I looked into his eyes.

And then my blood ran cold at the sight of him, a chill going down my spine.

Inside, I could hear all the things he could have possibly said to me. Not a single one of them was nowhere near what came out of his mouth.

"Unless you'd rather talk to your other boyfriend, we have a date to go on."

* * *

><p><strong>Writer's Note: Hello lovelies. An update! It took a bit longer to post this one, but since it's really emotional, it had its reasons.<br>Just so we can be more clear than we already have been...Adriel, our dear sweet boy, is an OC, as in he is an other character that we've made up ourselves, like Duckie from TES. XD  
>What is he? Well, Ade said it himself. It's a puzzle, and we'd love to hear your guesses! And yeah, Alec was kind of a douche, but he has his reasons.<br>Please read and review, and check out our formspring, people! It's lonely, and needs to be fed questions. Tootles!**

**-IITM**


	7. Chapter VII: Villian

******Disclaimer: We don't own Alec and Renesmee, for reasons we still don't understand. That doesn't mean we can't pretend and pull on the strings of their puppets, though. Happy reading, darlings!  
>-Cee and Tiff {IITM}<br>[Please read author's note at end of chapter!]  
><strong>****

******PS: Happy belated birthday to Kelsie! (InMyOwnWorld77) Sorry we couldn't update it on your birthday! We're only 6 days late!  
><strong>****

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter VII: Villain<strong>

There was an uncomfortable silence that fell between us. While I stared at him with an open mouth, he stared back with a closed mouth that had formed into a tight set. I blinked, waiting for him to say something, but he just stood there. I finally took it upon myself to be the one to come out and say speak, as I couldn't take it any longer.

"A date?" I repeated.

Alec rolled his eyes.

"That's not how I meant it and you know it," he replied. "I mean, let's actually go and do something…_fun_." The word seemed like it was forced out of his mouth, as if to speak such a thing was outrageous.

Fun? With him?

Not. Possible.

I was never opposed to the idea of going out to have a good time, but when Alec was the one of suggest it? I had to wonder what his definition of the word 'fun' meant. Better yet, I couldn't picture the concept of fun at all right now. My plate was officially full, and I wasn't finding myself in a happy mood that one usually requires of have fun.

My problems all started with Alec. I was stuck with a vampire. A vampire that I had a strong physical attraction to. A vampire that didn't seem to pass up an opportunity to make my already shitty circumstances even worse. A vampire that not only confused me, but just plain infuriated me. He was the type of person who pushed anyone away that saw something he didn't want them to see. He wanted to be hated, so he didn't have to deal with anything other than his own personal hell he'd locked himself up in. It was just easier that way, I guess.

I knew I had my own hell, but I didn't want to be hated either. And now? I sort of wanted to hate him. I wanted to give into his wishes and despise everything about him. It would be a lot easier on me if I could, and as much as I tried, there was always something holding me back from doing so. He made it difficult to be angry with him for a long period of time, something that bothered me immensely. Even just a moment ago when I saw those stupid Hershey's Drops, I felt my resentment for him lessen. That scared me. It made me question how much of a back bone I had when it concerned him. I didn't want to let him just walk all over me.

Alec told me himself to remember that he was a dick, even when he was being nice. Was he contradicting himself? Again, this is why he confused the hell out of me. For someone who wished to be hated, he went about it the wrong way sometimes. What did he expect me to do, honestly?

Then, I had Jacob. My life summed up into a five letters and two syllables. He was everything that was once good in my life, everything I wanted to hold onto. I relied on him like a father, and loved him like a brother. Jacob was that one person I knew that would never let me down. He was someone I simply couldn't give up. I had gotten really close to it, too close. But today at that gas station reminded me of how much I wanted him in my life again. Jake would have never given up on me, so why would I want to give up on him? I didn't know how I was going to go about finding him, with being Alec's hostage and all, but I would. I'd find a way back to him, just like he'd find a way back to me.

I didn't really like to use the word soul mates, because honestly the term seemed sort of cheesy to me, but he was apart of me, and apart of my life. A large section of my heart was filled with memories of him, and as long as my heart beat within my chest, Jacob was still very much present. I didn't know all the answers; I just knew that Jacob and I couldn't part ways forever like this. There had to be another reason, something I didn't know. He had to be out there. When I thought he was dead before, I was very close to ending my own life. I didn't want to go back to that mind set, I couldn't. So, letting hope fill me up inside, I remained positive that he was out there somewhere, and that someday I'd see him again.

And of course, I couldn't list my troubles if I didn't include the newest member: Adriel.

Ah, the mysterious, and interestingly enough, sensual voice I'd only spoken to directly two times thus far. If I could say one thing about Adriel, it was that he knew how to make a lasting impression in one's mind. Much like he intended, I'm sure, I was left with several questions after our latest phone call ended. He decided to ensue the guessing game, giving little hints and clues whenever he pleased. I guess I was supposed to let out my inner genius and solve the puzzle. If only I knew where to start. I had exactly two pieces that he instructed to put together. It's sort of hard to put a couple of puzzle pieces together when you can't even see the damn things. I had no idea what the clues were, none whatsoever.

As smart as I liked to think myself, I was never really good at solving mysteries. And at present moment? I was living in a giant mystery, and I was no detective.

Where was Jacob? I don't know.

What is Adriel? I don't know.

Why was Alec standing there with a bag of chocolates at his feet? Why was he telling me he wanted to go out and have fun? And why was he all of the sudden letting his eyes drift down towards my naked legs for a brief moment before transferring them back to my face?

Not a damn clue.

The confusion…it made my head hurt.

"I'm not going anywhere with you," I proclaimed, leaning back into the bed, my head now cushioned by a couple of pillows.

Alec let the heavy door close behind him, taking a couple of steps further into the room, filling in the space that I was comfortable with. Now, I just realized how uncomfortable it was. After all, I had only an over-sized tee shirt to cover my body with a flimsy pair of panties underneath, and I was laying on the bed Alec had thrown his things on when we first arrived, obviously doing so to claim the bed was his.

So, here I was. Half naked on his bed.

Why did I set myself up for these situations?

"Vanessa," he paused, looking stiff in his own skin. "I'm trying, alright?"

I raised one eyebrow, pursing my lips as I stared at him. He sounded genuine enough, but I'd heard that tone of voice before, and I had believed it. Good it did me, right? Alec was good at pretending things, and he said himself he wanted to be a monster. The villain is how he put it. Now he was changing his mind? How convenient.

"You're trying to what?" I challenged.

"To make…amends."

I pulled my body off of the bed, standing up to face him. I shook my head, running a hand through my dampened hair.

"Tell me the point of that; I'm dying to know. Because if you want me to remember what a bastard you are, then you wouldn't even care." I said. "So explain that to me."

He didn't reply to that, appearing to be lost for words. I groaned. Of course he wasn't going to actually answer that. It would have been too informative. It could have actually given me some sort of insight on him, showing me that there was a good enough reason behind all of his madness, because so far on this trip there had been no reason for any of it. Nothing.

_I thought you had sworn you weren't going to invest anymore time on trying to get to know him, Renesmee._ That cocky ass, self conscious voice thought inside my head. I really hated it when that bitch decided to go and ruin things for me.

"Have you ever considered therapy, Alec?"

His side of his mouth lifted upwards, sporting a half smile. And damn it, if it wasn't beautiful to see it plastered on his pale face.

"Have you?"

"Touché…" I answered, with a roll of my eyes. At least I could own up to the fact that I could use some therapy, and I didn't really count Adriel as a therapist, though I think he liked to consider himself one.

Speaking of which.

"What all did you hear when I was talking to Ade?" I asked, a little stunned at how natural it felt saying his nickname like we'd been lifelong friends.

Alec's brow furrowed instantly, his eyes narrowing. I didn't know if it was because I was mentioning Adriel altogether, or using the nickname. Either way he was giving me that face again, the one that said he wanted to kill me. Maybe it was pointed in Adriel's direction and not mine. I knew it sounded mean, but I was kind of hoping for him to be mad at his friend, rather than me. The death glares were always scary, and right now it was sending chills in all the wrong places.

"I heard enough," he said in a flat voice. Why did it sound like Alec was jealous? It was jealousy that I heard, wasn't it? I wasn't imagining things?

I probably was.

"Enough…?"

"Enough to know that you have no idea how to play the game he's created."

I paused for a moment, considering it. Alec was right, of course. I had no idea what I was doing. Adriel had spun up this web that I was trying to escape, and I was currently trying to do it while being blindfolded.

"So, why don't you teach me, hmm?" I asked sarcastically.

Even though having Alec teach me anything was not on my top to do-list. If anything, I've learned too much while being with him. But then again, if Alec helped me, seeing as he had the actual answers, I wouldn't have to play the game at all. But past questioning has showed me Alec wasn't the playing sort. And he gave me nothing to work with. So, thinking he would help me was pointless. As always.

Alec smirked, a bitter twinkle in his eyes.

"I've spent enough time being the victim of his schemes to come to the conclusion that I'm done playing by his standards."

Ah, Adriel had also screwed with Alec's head in some way. I had to give Adriel props for being able to actually be able to do such a thing. I often fantasized about making Alec my victim of many things. There had been times where I'd wanted to make him a victim of my seduction, which I wanted to laugh at now. Then, I wanted to make him a victim of my extremely annoying banter, which took place at our second encounter.

Unlike the first time we met, the second was much more…physical. Not in the sense where there was clothes removed, but the kind where I kept getting my ass handed to me.

**XxXxX**

_The guy, whose name I think was Gerard, or Greg, grunted as he sloppily kissed me._

_I knew it was stupid coming back to New York City. Last time I was here, only five months prior to this moment, ended with the mysterious vampire dropping me off at the city lines, or as I liked to call him, 'the troll under the bridge.' Ever since then, I sometimes found myself wondering about the asshole. He was definitely something, that's for sure. I didn't know what to make of him. Sure, he was a jerk, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized it was sort of amusing and even, might I dare say, refreshing. I was so accustomed to people just flocking to me that it was stimulating to see someone who didn't give a shit about what I thought of him. He didn't try to impress, and he didn't put on an act. What you saw with him was what you got, period. I sort of envied him for that. I had gotten used to putting on an act for everyone, so much so that I didn't even know the truth from my made up stories anymore._

_With that being said, the nosiness got the better of me. I came back, and I followed the same pattern that had brought me and the douche bag together the first time around. I picked up some guy who wanted a piece of me, and told him I wanted to take a little walk. Surprise, surprise, I lead us here, to Central Park's pond. Also, like before, I had waited till the appropriate time for vampires: nighttime. I had no idea if this little plan was going to work, and I really shouldn't have wanted to see him again. He did, after all, threaten to kill me. He sounded pretty serious, too. Did I have some sort of death wish?_

_Oh, well. Too late to turn back now._

_By the time I was done making out with this loser, I'm sure I would be ready for death to greet me, anyways. I hadn't picked a winner tonight. I was on the verge of gagging while his tongue explored the inside of my mouth. He tasted terrible and he used way to much tongue. Even the scent of his blood wasn't appealing much to me, and that's when you knew it was bad._

_Why was I even bothering with this? Why hadn't I killed him already?_

_"You're so hot," he muttered after he finally pulled back from my mouth, giving me a chance at fresh air to enter my lungs._

_I smirked, curving my lips teasingly. His gross, wet lips moved down to my neck._

_When I didn't reply, I guess he took that as a sign to continue on with his dirty talk._

_"I can't wait to till I slip my cock inside of you…are you enjoying this, little girl?"_

_I rolled my eyes again, faking a soft whimper. Inside, the killer just wanted to snap his crude little head. On the outside, I just wanted to run. I HATED being called a little girl while having sex. It was disgusting and degrading. It was like they were trying to own you or something, and that did not get me hot and in the mood._

_"Oh, baby…I want you to swallow me so bad.."_

_I suppressed a gag. I would not, under any circumstances ever, and I mean ever, put someone's dick in my mouth. Not a boyfriend, hell, not even a husband will ever have that in my mouth. Because lets be honest here, boys were not blessed by God when it came to their genitalia. They were ugly. They knew it; I knew it. And I would not get up close and personal with their deformed penis'. No one will prove me differently. Especially not this asshole, whose hands creep down my back, landing right on my ass. I bit the inside of my cheek as his hand attempted at massaging the area. He then gave me a hard squeeze._

_I was starting to feel sick to my stomach. I wasn't at all into this. The only reason I was still here and letting him live was because I was hoping it would make whatever his name was come. Also…it was the anniversary of my family's death. It had been a long day, filled with more pain than I would like. I needed a distraction. And even if this guy had no idea what the hell he was doing, it was better than feeling the alternative. The pain was too much, it consumed me. If I let it, it would kill me._

_When the frat boy shoved his tongue back inside my mouth, I heard myself make a sound of protest, which could have been heard as a whimper of pleasure. Of course, that's how he took it. I was two seconds away from shoving him off of me and giving up on the whole thing._

_"Excuse me," I heard a new voice speak from behind me. My mouth widened instantly into a smile, knowing that voice from anywhere. It was low, it was smooth, and it was pissed. I was so happy. "You're blocking my view."_

_Then, I heard a crackling noise, followed by Greg/Gerard's screaming in pain. His hand was no longer lingering on my ass. He was now cradling the hand to his chest, clearly in a lot of agony as he screamed like a little girl._

_Yep. I was definitely happy._

_The nameless vampire had broken the frat boy's hand. As horrible as it seemed, I found myself thrilled with the development. I had to close my mouth shut to keep myself from giggling, actually. The guy was a pig, after all, and really needed to work on his technique._

_I cocked my head behind me, and sure enough, there he was. With his crimson eyes, his dark hair, his casual clothes, and glowing pale skin. I gazed at him, finding myself drinking all of it in from head to toe. The traces of the foul taste of the frat boy was starting to slip from my memory. While I appreciated the fine work of art standing before me. He, on the other hand, was glowering at the human._

_"LEAVE!" He commanded in a loud, dominant voice. The sound made me jump a little, and it also brought a wider smile to my face. _

_Why was I starting to feel giddy?_

_I heard the frat boy run off, as well as his rapid heart beat that pulsed with fear. I wondered if he was going to call the cops. Something made me think he wouldn't even bother with it._

_Mr. Candy Apple Eyes turned his glare at me. I placed one of my hands on my chest dramatically, letting out a big breath of air._

_"Thank God you came when you did!" I exclaimed, reaching my other hand to grasp his bicep. "I thought I was going to drown from the saliva he was producing!"_

_He looked down at the hand on his arm like it was infected, and I could feel him tense with my skin touching his. I quite liked how wintry cold his skin was, and the feel of his marble and smooth texture. It was like chilled satin._

_Enjoying the feel of his skin, I wasn't preparing myself for his next course of action. I should have been expecting it. This guy really had a low tolerance for…everything. His hand reached up to grasp onto my throat. Then, I felt us both moving at an extreme speed that even I wasn't use to. We were moving at his pace; a vampire's full speed. Feeling my stomach flutter inside of me, I gasped aloud, and winced when I felt a hard, metal surface crash into my back. I opened my eyes, looking behind me, realizing he had me braced against a large street lamp. The impact was so hard that I felt the metal dent against my back. The whole pole shook, like any moment it was going to come crashing down._

_The hand on my throat caught my attention again, and my eyes found his._

_Liquid fire. Dangerous. Very dangerous. One more movement of his hand and I could be without a head, I knew that. Yet, I felt like I was being drawn in yet again, despite the predator that had me in his grasp. It was like before when I was inches from death. He cut off all instincts inside me that told me to defend myself._

_And I wasn't even upset about it. That wasn't healthy._

_"Are you dense? Did I not specify that I never wanted to see you here again?" He hissed, his breath sweet. I was salivating as if someone had placed something to eat in front of me._

_"What can I say?" I hummed. "I got bored, and remembered how well we hit it off before, and wanted to see how you were doing."_

_"You knew I'd find you here," he said, his eyes narrowing even further. "You must be on a suicide mission, Hersheys."_

_I didn't want to consider that idea. Because this was what it was. Was I unconsciously wanting to die? The fact I even had to ask myself that spoke volumes. I admit, I wasn't happy with my life. But I didn't want to die this way. Not by this vampire. Not today._

_Impacted by his words, I felt my chest tighten. I hoped it didn't show on my face. I quickly put on a fake smile._

_"Oh, c'mon, Licorice." I whined, writhing against his firm grip. "I wasn't going to kill him — here." I smirked, which sparked more anger in him._

_"No, you were just going to screw him — HERE!" He snapped._

_"Now, that would have been uncomfortable, wouldn't it?" I teased, my mouth curving into a smile. "Have you ever tried doing it while standing up? It really isn't as easy as it seems."_

_Another quick flash of movements ensued on his end, and I found myself on my back on the ground. I was having a bit of a déjà vu moment. Only this time around, he didn't hover his body over mine. He just glared down at me with a mixture of hatred and equal disgust. My already short skirt rode up past my thighs, and being the tease I was, I didn't bother pulling it back down, like a lady would have done. I wondered if he'd noticed. If he had, he didn't show it. I never saw him once glance down at my legs. For some reason, that pleased me to some degree._

_He didn't base me off of my body. He based me off of who I was. I respected that. And was not used to it at all._

_"I don't understand you at all."_

_"I am a mystery, aren't I?" I lay my head against the pavement, pursing my lips. "I thought you understood. I'm half and half? One vampire plus one human equals…" I motioned to myself._

_He pressed the bottom his foot onto my stomach, the pressure from the weight causing a bit of discomfort. Plus, who the hell knew where those shoes had been. He was dirtying me up, and not in the good sense._

_"__Who were you parents, then, hybrid?" He demanded, his voice rough and low._

_"Adam and Eve," I retorted, grabbing his ankle in one of my hands. "Ew."_

_"I don't have time for your games, Hersheys. How were you born?"_

_I stared at him incredulously. I laughed through my nose, shaking my head. Was he really asking me how I was born?_

_"C-section, or at least I heard." I raised my neck off the ground. "Satisfied?"_

_His brow knitted together, confusion taking over his features. He looked like a little lost puppy for a couple of seconds there. It was endearing, almost._

_"So…you were a baby once?"_

_This time I laughed out loud, which didn't help the pressure on my stomach. I winced, wiggling under his foot._

_"No, don't be ridiculous." I replied sarcastically. "I was born from Zeus head and came out looking just like this."_

_His growled, applying more pressure to my abdomen. I sucked in a deep breath, realizing it was becoming more of an effort to take breaths._

_"I'M NOT PLAYING!" He yelled ferociously. "Who. Are. Your. Parents?"_

_"WHO ARE YOURS!"_

_He lifted his foot off of me, his posture tense, like he was ready to pounce at any moment. He stepped back, his face coiling with frustration._

_"You're pathetic, you know that?" He insulted. "A COMPLETE waste…you not even worth enough to kill."_

_I glared up at him, and got back up to my feet in a fast speed. He had struck a nerve, because I was constantly telling myself I wasn't worth anything. I wasn't worth my family's deaths. And today being the anniversary? It hit me pretty hard._

_I stood there for a few seconds, trying to calm myself down before I spoke._

_"You know, the only people who use that line are the ones that don't have the guts to do it." I spat._

_He didn't seem to like that, for my throat was now taken hostage by his hand._

_I didn't care. If he said he was going to kill me, he should do it now._

_"__Don't test me, Hersheys. Just be thankful I'm in a good mood."_

_"Why do you keep calling me Hersheys?" I asked. That question had been stuck in my mind ever since the first time he called it._

_The only nicknames I'd ever had were Nessie and 'little nudger.' They both pierced a hole in my heart and made me think of my family. My mother. But Hersheys was unique, nothing I'd ever heard someone call another._

_He shook his head, releasing his grip from my throat. Turning around, he just walked away. Naturally, I followed, not knowing when to give up._

_"Hey! I asked you a question."_

_The vampire still didn't answer me. He just kept walking and then breaking out in vampire speed. I ran just as fast. Blocking his path. Within seconds he had my arm and he was pulling me to what I guessed was the city limits._

_I can't believe he was doing this again._

_"Just tell me."_

_"Tell you what? That I call you after something that tastes like dirt? Oh boy, I wonder why?"_

_I knew it then. He felt nothing for me. Before, when I thought the nickname was because of something good? I was mistaken._

_I would not be mistaken again._

**XxXxXx**

"Give me one reason." I said, crossing my arms.

He groaned and ran a hand through his thick, dark hair. I tried to look as pissed as I was, but it was hard when Alec did that to his hair. I don't know when roughing up hair became sexy, but my emotions must still have been mixed up because when Alec did that? Like with most everything else he did, I felt myself respond. I wondered if Alec were a mere human if it would still effect me like this.

No. Probably not.

"I told you, Ade plays games-"

"I mean a reason to go with you out to have _fun_." I made quotation marks with my fingers. "You want to play the villain, don't you?"

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"No."

"No...?"

"I don't know!" Alec snapped, looking flustered and annoyed.

I bit my lip and tried not to laugh. Alec sat on the bed that I had just gotten up from, burying his face with his hands. I really didn't know what to think of this guy anymore. He was giving me too many signals. I wondered where he wanted to take me. I couldn't say it didn't make me curious. I mean, where did Alec bring people on dates? I couldn't imagine it, personally. I didn't see him going on dates with anyone, least of all me. Would there be dinner, or dancing?

I really should learn not to take his bait.

"There's no point in making amends, Alec, if you're evil!" I snapped. Alec twisted his lips, and like I've stated many times, it was hot. I rolled my eyes at myself, because honestly? I hated him for doing this to me.

"I know that, I just-"

"What, want to trick me some more?"

"I don't want to talk about this. I just want to go out and forget the day. I want us to-"

"I don't want to go with you, when you've been a complete asshole to me!" I exclaimed, crossing my arms over my chest.

I felt the tears coming to my eyes as I replayed his words in my head. I tried so hard not to show them to him, but with him looking at me, it was so hard. I felt so weak. Thinking he was going to snap at me for showing emotions like I was, I wiped them away, only to have him surprise me. Instead of snapping, he stood up and just gripped my folded arms, pulling me closer to him. I knew I said I would never let him touch me again, but saying one thing and actually doing it were two different things. And Alec's touch? It was like cocaine to my skin. I wanted it. I craved it. I also hated it. But yet I didn't want to pull away. Forcing me to look down on him, I stared into his eyes, and looked for something that told me what he was thinking, anything that would let me understand.

I told myself that I didn't want to see inside his mind, that it was a dangerous place. But inside of me begged for it. I couldn't help myself. He was a flame and I was the moth that was about to be burned. I was drawn in, and for some reason I wasn't pushing away or fighting. I was frozen with his fingers touching me. The mere interaction made my heart soar as his cool marble skin touched my warmness.

I couldn't breathe.

"I'm not going to apologize." He said softly. "What I said was harsh, but it was true. He's not here, Vanessa. You have to accept-"

"I can't just forget about him," I whispered. Alec looked down at his feet and I saw a glimpse of something. Was it sadness? Understanding? The simple sight of it made my heart drop. And the only thing that came to mind was that chat with Adriel.

_'Yes, Alec can be a asshole, and he says things that beyond measure. Trust me, I know, But he has a reason. He's not that way because he can be.'_

As my thoughts replayed those words, Alec's hand snapped from my skin. Despite my earlier hatred for him, I found myself disappointed from the lack of his skin touching mine. Now that I know he heard every thought that came to my mind, I had to make sure to keep my thoughts PG-13.

I waited to see if Alec would comment on my train of thought, but instead he just carried on through the conversation, as if I didn't think what I thought at all.

"I know you'll never forget him, but you have to live your life. Don't depend on someone else."

"Is that what you did? You moved on?"

"Jane was different. I know she's dead. I saw it myself." Alec said bitterly, I was surprised when I looked him in his eyes and saw…pain.

I was shocked and touched. He hurt. He felt. And I didn't know what to do with that. Didn't know how to respond to this side of him showing, but something in my chest made me want to hug him. But I refused it. I wasn't that stupid as to touch him now. But seeing him like this? It effected me. Like I was seeing a mirror. A forbidden, unclear, broken mirror and I stood in front of him, I tried to think logically and understand him. When I didn't think I could. He saw her die. He saw her taken from him. Suddenly I was grateful I didn't get that. I was long gone before my family was dead. But Alec? He saw Jane die. I didn't know who she was to him, I still had reason to believe she was a lover, but what if I was wrong? What if Jane was like my Jacob? My brain raced with confusion.

Jane.

Why did that name sound familiar? Did I know a Jane before? I thought back to my past. Remembering all the names of the people who were around me.

Seth, Sue, Embry, Emily, Leah, Sam...

No Jane. But yeah somehow I felt like I knew one.

Thinking about the past made my head hurt and worse, it hurt emotionally also. Though looking at Alec, he seemed to be trying to put that wall back up again. I hated it.

"Jane is…?"

"Can we just go out? I know you don't want to stay here all night. And I want to go out and do something." he said, now standing in front of me. Towering over my head. I knew he was changing the subject from Jane. Trying to distract me from asking anymore. I knew because I've done it myself. I wasn't going to ask anymore. He'll tell me when the time was right. I knew that.

I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously, was he serious? Was he really trying to make amends? I still didn't understand the reasoning's behind this sudden change. What brought it on?

"Why?"

"Because going to where I want to take you alone seems really stupid. I don't have anyone else to take."

"Where are we going?"

**...**

This was not what I was expecting. To be honest I wasn't really having high expectations. Alec said he wanted to have fun. And to him reading was fun. So I thought maybe he'd take me to a book store and that be it.

But did he take me to a bookstore?

Hell no. Alec, 'The Troll'...took me to a frigging county fair.

A _fair_!

I just stood there mouth hung open as I took it all in, not sure if this was real. I mean, what counted as a fair? Lets see.

I see the Ferris wheel. So that's a check.

I see the tornado ride. So check.

Cotton candy. Gross, but check.

I see all of this, but yet somehow I still think I'm dreaming. How did this happen? How did we end here, at a fair in Indiana of all places? A place where children were running around, laughing and pointing to rides excitedly with bright eyes? A place where young couples mingled? A place where you froze your ass off because it's February and cold outside? Of course, neither I or Alec needed a coat to keep ourselves warm. I ran a high temperature and he was just as cold as the weather, so it didn't effect him any.

The point is...

"This is crazy." I said aloud, looking over at Alec.

He was staring around him, looking as though he was seriously contemplating his sanity for coming here. With one hand resting on his hipbone, his brows were furrowed again, this time in contemplation, and his lips pursed. I hated to think it, but he just looked so damn cute. Even if he was wearing his brown contacts, his eyes were still as piercing as they always were. Although, I think I did prefer his natural scarlet iris'. They defined his features better.

"This town had nothing else to offer in the way of fun activities." He explained. "It was either this or Dairy Queen...but if you'd prefer the delicious human food-"

"I see your point." I interrupted, cringing at the thought. I had already consumed human food today, earlier this morning. Of course, that was a long time ago, considering now it was evening and dark outside. My stomach reminded me of how hungry I was, starting to growl.

Alec chuckled. "You're going to have to eat again sometime."

I shook my head, crossing my arms over my chest. I decided I'd ignore the grumble in my tummy by talking.

"Okay, so we're here." I pointed out, waving around me. "Now what?"

I felt so out of place being here. I hadn't been to a fair in a long time. And my guess? Neither had he, if he had ever been to one at all. You'd think he would have, considering how long he'd been around, but he also wasn't the type who stopped by at county fairs a lot, either.

Alec started to say something, but then hesitated, not sure how to reply. He glanced around him once more. We both stood awkwardly as other people walked around us, hurrying to get to their next destination. A lot of people stared at us, which I was assuming was for different reasons. Either they were staring because we were unnaturally attractive, or because we were just standing still like two idiots, not knowing what to do.

"Well...what do you want to do? It looks like there's games..." He said with zero enthusiasm in his voice. I cracked a smile, but then forced it down.

After paying for our wristbands, we somehow made our way over to a duck game. Yeah, rubber ducks. I instantly had a Sesame Street flashback, thinking of Ernie and his special friend, Rubber Ducky, who made noise when he squeezed him. Yeah, just like the song stated.

Anyways, we learned from the very enthusiastic man who was running the game, that each duck had a number written on the bottom of it, and depending on the number you picked, you got a certain prize.

"Go for it," I pushed Alec closer, and he rolled his eyes, stepping up to pay the man so he could win his prize.

I stood next to him, staring at all the duckies swimming happily, waiting for him to pick one so we could move on. He did, and got one with the number four on the back. That meant he could pick any prize on the middle shelf. It consisted of small stuffed animals, things like that.

"What will it be?" Mr. Enthusiastic asked enthusiastically, waiting so he could grab the prize Alec wanted.

Alec cocked his head to one side, studying his options a little too thoroughly. Beside him, I tapped my foot impatiently.

"The pink rose," he said after a couple more moments.

Mr. Enthusiastic picked up the stuffed rose, handing it to Alec. I half expected him to offer it to me, but instead he just stuck it in his pocket. It didn't offend me any. What would I have done with a stuffed toy rose anyways? It's not like I wanted anything from him, anyways. I was still mad at him from before. It didn't hurt my feelings at all that he kept the rose for himself.

Not a bit.

"Congratulations," I told Alec in sarcastic voice. "You deserved it." I nodded.

He rolled his eyes again, pacing away, and I followed, sighing.

"Alright. As long as we're here, we might as well ride the rides, right?" I asked. I mean, what else were we going to do at a fair?

Alec stopped dead in his tracks, a look of fear crossing over his features. I'd never seen that expression on his face in the time I'd known him. It was raw, utter and complete fear. What happened? Did he see someone he knew? Did he sense danger nearby that I didn't? His eyes widened, his posture stiff as a board. I was starting to get worried.

"What is it, Alec?" I asked urgently, looking around us for possible threats. A million different scenarios were popping in my head as to what could have been wrong. None of them fit even close to the next thing he said to me. "What's wrong?"

"Um..." He looked down awkwardly, making me all the more confused. "Uh...rides...as in...h-heights...?"

I blinked. Then blinked again, and again. It wasn't really registering in my brain as to why he was acting so strange. And when it finally dawned on me, it still didn't make any sense. None at all. Because this vampire who was over a thousand years old couldn't have possibly been afraid of heights. This was Alec, for crying out loud! The troll, Licorice, dickhead...he couldn't have been scared of heights! Why would he be? He was immortal!

"You..." I stifled a giggle. "You have acrophobia?" I pressed my lips together to keep from laughing.

I couldn't believe it. Of all the things to have a fear of, and he had a fear of heights, of all people! I couldn't help it, the laughter ensued rapidly. He narrowed his eyes, his lips forming into somewhat of a pout. That alone made me laugh even harder. He had a beautiful button lip.

"No. I just have a firm belief that we're all meant to stay on solid ground." He said bitterly.

"So...how _does_ a vampire become afraid of heights?" I asked, completely disregarding what he had just tried to say. Alec looked down and back at me. And I raised my eyebrow, my curiosity hitting its peak.

"If I were scared of heights...hypothetically speaking, of course..." He started, nodding as he rolled his eyes.

I bit my lip and tilted my head at him, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Of course…" I said, covering my mouth to keep the laughter that wanted to come out. Alec pursed his lips and I motioned for him to continue. He shook his head and looked down at his feet.

"If I were scared, it would probably be because when I was human…Jane pushed me down a huge tree when we were young. I broke my arm, and never went up a tree again."

I blinked. He had known Jane for that long? What the hell? I was not prepared for that. At all. I thought they just met in the immortal life, and now I find out they knew each other in their human life? He knew her for that long?

I don't know what emotions were residing in me. I knew I shouldn't be feeling this way. But I felt depressed. How could I compete with someone from his human life? Not that I was trying to or anything, but hypothetically if I were, I would be shot down like a goose during hunting season. I didn't stand a chance.

If I wanted a chance.

"But you can't get hurt now, you know. Your reasons-"

"Hypothetical reasons," Alec corrected, cutting me off. I laughed because he and I both knew his fear of highs was not hypothetical at all.

"You don't have a reason to be scared. I don't even know why you brought me here if you're too scared to even go on the rides. I mean, it makes no-"

"I thought you would like it."

My eyes grew big. He wanted to go to the fair because of me? For me? Even when the idea of going on a simple ride like the Ferris wheel scared the shit out of him? Why would he do that-

_Do not take this as something else Renesmee. Do not. _

_He's just trying to make you like him so he can hurt you again. You know this, you big idiot. _

"You brought be here because you thought I would like it?"

He nodded, not looking at me in the face, And I couldn't help but laugh once again.

"You're like...the _worst_ villain ever."

I got a big smile at that and I couldn't help but feel my heart flutter at the sight. What the hell? His teeth glowed!

"So does that mean I don't have to ride the rides with you?" He said, bumping into me. I narrowed my eyes and looked behind me, where the Ferris wheel stood in all its glory. I grinned like an evil master mind. Maybe I was the bad guy in all this?

"Oh no," I shook my head. "After what you said to me today, you have to at least ride _one_."

Alec pouted again as I pulled his hand and half dragged him to the ride. If I were human, there would be no way I could force him into this. He was so resistant that once we got in front of the wheel, I almost changed my mind. He looked like he was seeing a ghost. His face even looked whiter than usual.

Who knew that was possible?

"Alec?"

He didn't answer. Instead his eyes were looking straight up at the spinning piece of metal, the lights bouncing off the wheel and reflecting on his intimidated face. I picked this ride because it was simpler than the others, but secretly I kind of wanted to ride this too. I was just easing him into this, making him take baby steps. Though if anyone saw Alec's face now, it looked like he was staring death in the face. His breathing had increased and if I didn't know any better I'd say he was panicking now.

I didn't know vampires could have anxiety attacks. Looking at him like this, I decided to change my mind.

This was to much.

"Fine, I'll go by myself." I whispered, trying not to sound too disappointed. Alec's eyes darted to mine. What was once fear was now complete and total anxiety. For what, I didn't know. "What?"

"You're going ride this by yourself?"

I looked at the wheel and turned back to him, shrugging. I didn't really see the big deal in just riding a ride. I've done this before, when I was younger, with Jacob. What was the big deal?

"Yeah, I'm not scared. I'll see you in a second." I said, as the operator opened up the latch and telling me to sit. I told him I was by myself, but before he could shut me in, Alec was by my side, telling the operator he was with me. His eyes focused forward.

Okay…

"What are you doing?"

"Like I'd let you die on this thing." He hissed, his hands clenched on the latch so hard that it was actually breaking. _That_ wasn't good. His eyes then scanned the seat for something. "Where's the seat belt?"

I laughed so hard at that, that I actually snorted. Alec looked at me, confused. I didn't say anything, I just went and grabbed his hand without asking. His muscles relaxed a bit to my touch. I bit my lower lip to keep from smiling.

"Relax," I whispered in his ear. Alec closed his eyes and focused on his breathing. He was doing pretty good, considering what he was about to do, and it kind of made me feel proud. He was conquring his fear. Not a lot of people can say the same.

Once the wheel started moving though, that was a completely different story.

"HOLY SHIT!" Alec yelped, his hand clenching mine, I winced in pain, because damn, he was holding on tighter than I thought he would. It was kind of hurting me.

"Relax, Alec. You're not going to fall. This isn't the tree!"

"No, it's worse. It moves. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. I'm going to die. Fuck!" Alec said in rush. I bit my lip and suppressed a smile as I looked over to his face. His eyes were held shut so tight and his mouth was a thin line. He was definitely not breathing.

"Alec, open your eyes!"

He shook his head, not listening to reason. Every time the seat swung a little his hand squeezed mine. It was becoming less and less fun by the second, because now I was seriously worried for him. So worried that my hand was no longer hurting from his grip.

In fact, it went numb.

"Licorice.." I whispered, moving my other hand and turning his face towards mine. His face became more calm. But his eyes still didn't open as the wheel went around for the third time.

His face was so close to mine, and I could feel that his breathing was returning to normal. I cupped his face in my hand and could feel my heart pounding. "Open your eyes."

He shook his head and I frowned. Grabbing his other hand in mine, giving it a squeeze. I'd never seen him like this, so scared and so still. It was like he thought if he moved at all, he would fall out. But he had to know I wouldn't let that happen. Not that falling would actually hurt him. I guess old habits died hard, huh? Even when you're a vampire, you still had fears.

"You shouldn't of got on, Alec."

"I was scared." He finally admitted, swallowing hard as he spoke. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down. I titled my head, confused.

"Of?"

He didn't say anything.

"What were you scared of, Alec? You would have been on the ground."

"Yeah, but you wouldn't of been."

I could feel my face heat up at his words as I blushed. He was scared for me? Why? What could of happened that would make him worry about me? I wasn't worried. I would have been fine.

That's when it hit me. He thought I was going to end up hurt and even if I wouldn't of been, he didn't want to take the chance. I sat there, totally stunned. No one had been concerned for me that much in so long. No one had cared enough for my safety to put their fears aside. I didn't know what to say. Should I thank him for his concern? No, that wasn't right. Though I didn't have time to really worry about saying anything because as soon as the seat stopped at the top, Alec's eyes squeezed shut again. His hands pulled me to him for dear life, wrapping themselves about my waist.

"HERSHEYS!" He yelped, as I threw my arms around his neck, laughing a little. His face buried into my neck, and my heart was spinning in my chest. I felt warm everywhere.

We were hugging.

It was such a weird feeling, being hugged. It'd been so long since someone held me like this, and for some reason I felt good. Usually when guys wanted to cuddle with me was after we slept together. I either left or I killed them. But with Alec, holding onto me as if I was the thing keeping him sane?

It felt right, it even felt good. I don't want to let go. The wheel started spinning in the opposite direction and Alec's arms grew tighter around me. I didn't know the Ferris wheel was suppose to do this. If I had, I would of warned him.

"Alec, I can't believe your this scared." I whispered to him. There was no point in pulling him away from me, because he wasn't budging, which was oddly fine with me. I didn't want him to let go.

"Laugh at me and I swear, I'll-"

"You'll what? Let make me go the next ride by myself?"

Alec groaned into my neck, and the vibration combined with the sound went straight to the area between my legs, making me melt against him.

Damn, this was nice.

"This isn't funny!"

"You're a vampire, Alec. If it wasn't hilarious, it would be sad."

Alec pulled away from me, and opened his eyes. Finally, I could look into them, though I was still a bit disappointed they weren't the red eyes I'd grown use too. I smirked at him, and he narrowed his eyes at me. We stayed that way, just looking at each other till the ride had stopped. I cupped his face in my hands. His marble, cool skin felt good against my warm ones.

It's looking at him now that I realized that Adriel was right all along. Alec had reasons for saying what he did. He had reasons for being mean. And I was right before all this crap with Jacob took place.

He wasn't the villain.

He was my Licorice: a mystery all on his own.

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><p><strong>Writer's Note: Okay, so there are probably several typos and mistakes, but in a hurry to just post this, we didn't want to wait longer than needed. We'll go back over it again when we can.<br>**

**Sorry it took so long to update this chapter. It's been a crappy month, no joke. Personal + health issues = zero writing time and inspiration! So no, we did not forget about you, and we're not giving up on the story. **

**Yes, Renesmee has no clue who Alec is, and obviously doesn't know who Jane is either. Although...the name does sound familiar...hmm. **

**Let us know what you think!**

**-IITM**


	8. Chapter VIII: Art

********Disclaimer: We don't own Alec and Renesmee, for reasons we still don't understand. That doesn't mean we can't pretend and pull on the strings of their puppets, though. Happy reading, darlings!  
><strong>************** -Cee and Tiff {IITM} [Please read author's note at end of chapter!] ********

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter VIII: Art<strong>

Alec was complicated.

He was a complete mystery. He was also twisted. And he was a messed up complication that had planted himself in my life. I wasn't even going to try and figure him out anymore. In fact, whatever he was willing to give me, I was willing to take. Anything was better than nothing at all. He did make me curious beyond belief, and I wouldn't lie and say that it didn't drive me crazy. But I had come to terms with the fact that whatever he showed me, it was worth it. I wasn't making excuses for the things he said; I was just agreeing with Adriel.

Even if I had to go through asshole Alec, fighting constantly, just to get to this Alec? The one whose open, and dare I say, adorable? It was kind of worth it. These moments where I liked him. They were rare and beautiful. And funny as hell.

"I am _not _getting on that," Alec spat as we approached the tornado ride.

It was a large piece of machinery, with four seats per cart. There was a giant wheel in the middle that you spun, just to add to the fun of it all. It was one of those that came off the ground, so of course, Alec wasn't happy about it.

Me? I was excited. I had talked Alec into getting on more than one ride with me, stating it would have been a waste of money if he just rode one ride. I know, I was cruel, seeing as how he was scared of everything operated here. But a part of me wanted to get him on a ride just so he would hug me again. Which was weird and kind of pathetic, but true. His hug had done something to me. It corrupted me and filled me with such…warmth. It was exactly that hug that consumed me to go to this ride.

It was a goal. Even if it was impossible to hug someone on this ride, as the seats were separated. But after the ride was over? I will get my hug, even if I have to tackle him myself.

I hoped it didn't come to that, though.

"Oh, Licorice…it's not that bad!" I exclaimed as we stepped into line. "If you can ride the Ferris wheel, you can ride this, _no_ problem."

"This one spins in circles!" He cried, pointing to it, his eyes watching in horror.

Just as he said this, we heard a wailing cry coming from the ride. Apparently there was someone on the ride who wasn't having fun. By the high pitch it sounded like a girl. If not, it was one really feminine boy. Alec turned to look at me, as if that was to plead his case. It didn't. I wanted my hug.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"She's dying!"

"She is not dying, Alec. She's a little girl. Be reasonable." I shook my head. "You are a grown man. An _immortal_ grown man, might I add."

He scoffed, rolling his eyes while running his hands through his hair as he usually did. By the looks of it though, it didn't matter if he was immortal or not, he thought he was going to die on this thing. Never had I met such an odd person before.

"Do we really have to ride this?"

"Well, I can go by myse-"

"Not an option."

Alec was really setting himself in some serious danger. He was making me…_feel_. About him, no less. Him! Feelings about him. It was such a weird process. Though my brain told me not to, thinking that the warmness coming off of him was a phase, I was helpless against the swelling in my chest. I was even nervous a little being with around him, and that wasn't normal. Not for me. I didn't get nervous around the opposite sex.

I was Vanessa Wolfe. I was the shit when it came to guys. Alec made me question all of that. For the past hour I felt jittery and uneasy, yet it was all good in a good way. Somehow I knew it was. And I didn't know how to take this. I knew I couldn't be falling for him, I knew that Adriel couldn't be right all along. Because even with me giving up, I knew Alec would find a reason to push me away just as he had earlier. He would push me to the point that it hurt. I just didn't know the reason behind it. How am I suppose to understand Alec if I didn't know the reason? Was Jane behind it? And why did I get a kick out of Alec being so protective on me? Was I insane?

The answer is obviously.

"I'm not going fall off and even if I did-"

"No. Way."

Okay, so I got a kick out of it and I found it kind of annoying. In a sexy, adorable, but unreasonable kind of way.

"Well, I don't want you to ride it if you're going to have a freak out over it."

"Excuse me, 'freak out?' I did not have a freak out. I was just persistent on my wishes to stay out of the air."

"Otherwise known as a freak out."

"Shut up, if your going to ride this death trap, then so am I! End of story!"

"FINE!" I snapped, stepping closer to him. It amazed me how even when I was trying to get along with Alec, he managed to get so me pissed off to the point where all we did is fight. Would there ever be a moment where we could get along and not want to kill each other? Would that day ever exist?

No, definitely not. And truth be told, I found that if we didn't fight, we would probably be boring and lame. And that just isn't me or my Licorice. We don't do those things

Huh. My Licorice.

When did I start thinking he was mine?

Looking up as the ride came to a halt, I couldn't help but feel excited over it again. The few times I went to a fair with Jake, the tornado was one of my favorites. I had always wanting to spin the wheel as fast as it would go, making Jacob laugh in the process. Now that I was with Alec, though, the only laughter that would be coming out would be mine. That I could count on, plus the guilt for making him ride this. I couldn't help that feeling as I watched his pale face grow even paler as we saw people coming out. I pushed back the bad feeling though, because it was his own fault for bringing me here in the first place.

I mean, what else are you suppose to do at the fair? Watch?

Watching Alec now, I knew he wasn't really playing any attention to the 'terror' that he was about to go through in a few mere seconds. Instead, his attention was focused on one thing. Or rather one person.

The crying girl who just got off the ride. Her face was covered in wet tears as she continued to sob. Her mother bent down, trying to get her to stop. She was an adorable looking girl, despite all the tears. She had brown curly hair, wild from being on whipped around from the ride. Her cheeks were round and adorable as she pouted. She looked like she was about seven years old, if that.

What was her mother thinking forcing her to ride this thing? Had she no heart? Looking at Alec, I was starting to worry if maybe seeing the girl cry from being so scared was making him feel worse about getting on it. But by the look of the face, he didn't look afraid. He looked observant and understanding. I'd never seen this look on his face before, but I didn't get a chance to see it for long, because before I knew it, Alec was walking towards the girl and her mother. For a second I wondered if he was crazy, and I was fully prepared to tell him not to go over there. But before I could manage to take a step, Alec had already bent down to the girl's level.

My curiosity got spiked.

_What are you doing, Licorice? _

"Hi…I'm Alec." He said in a voice that I'd never heard him use before. It was almost tender and soothing. Very foreign to my ears. The sound of it instantly made my heart pound faster. It was so unlike his usual voice. There was no mockery, no dry humor hidden within it. It was real. And it almost made me want to drop.

"Hi…" The little girl whispered back, wiping her tears with the back of her hand, taking a step behind her mother, as if that would protect her. Her voice sounded weak and shy, so fragile.

"What's your name?" Alec asked in that same comforting voice. I could see from where I stood that he was giving her a soft smile. If only that girl knew how rare whose were.

The girl's mother looked down at Alec and her daughter, and when her daughter didn't answer, she decided to speak.

"Your name is Sophie, huh?" Her mother encouraged, clearly stunned that this beautiful creature, my beautiful Licorice, was in her presence. Alec didn't pay any mind to her though. Thank god.

I wanted to rip her a new one by the way she was staring at him. And I wanted to seriously kick myself in the ass for thinking he was mine again.

This shit was seriously messing with my head and it needed to stop. Now.

"Oh wow, Sophie. That's a beautiful name."

"Thanks.." Sophie whispered, "You're pretty."

I bit my lip, trying not to smile as Alec shook his head and chuckled. Gosh, I loved the sound of his laugh. It made me feel warm everywhere and seeing him talk to this girl here? It was making me melt on the inside. I felt my body longing to be near him. To hug him and tell him that he was so deadly wrong. He wasn't evil. He was an angel. Sophie was wrong, he wasn't just pretty. He was stunning. With a side of complicated.

"Thank you," he said between chuckles. "Me and my friend here are about to get on this ride that I just saw you get off and I wanted to see if you were alright." Alec motioned to the tornado.

Sophie looked at her mother then, her eyes widening as she looked at the ride that was getting ready to take off again. I groaned.

Apparently we were waiting for the next round? That's okay. This was totally worth the wait.

"I was scared." Sophie's little bottom lip started to quiver as fresh tears started dripping down her cheeks. Alec nodding in understanding and bit his lip.

"I'll let you in on a secret," he whispered, "I'm scared too."

"YOU ARE?"

Alec nodded and I covered my laugh with my hand. Because apparently even this small human child could see the problem with this picture.

"Deathly scared, but I have something that protects me from anything happening. Wanna see it?" He asked, digging in to his pocket.

Sophie nodded, eager to know what it was that protected him from being scared. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious myself. That's when I saw Alec pulling out his duck prize that he won earlier. The stuffed pink rose.

What?

"This is what protects me." Alec reasoned, showing it to Sophie. She looked at him and giggled. She gave him the 'yeah right look' I didn't blame her. I wouldn't have bought it either.

"That's a toy, silly."

"Oh, but it's not just any toy," he said, "It's magic. See, this it protects the one who holds it from any danger."

"Any?"

"Any danger. From scary rides, all the way to monsters." His eyes twinkled with amusement.

I swear, if Alec was selling cancer right now, these people would think it was a good thing, by the way he was making this magical rose shit up. He really had a knack for selling, so much that I was five seconds away from stealing one of those stupid roses for myself. Even Sophie's mother looked impressed. Then again, she was checking out him out in general and truth be told, no could blame the woman for that. So long as she doesn't touch. I'm alright.

I think.

"Monsters? Like werewolves? Zombies? How about vampires? Can it save me from them?" Sophie asked excitedly, looking at the rose like it was beacon of hope from God himself.

My eyes widened at all the monsters she named. If only the poor girl knew that she had a vampire right smack in from of her. Tsk, tsk.

"Especially vampires.." His eyes shifted to mine briefly, and he flashed me a small smile, as if to share the private joke. My knees went week. "And most importantly it'll keep you from getting scared from the rides."

He handed the rose out to Sophie. Her mother looked like she was swooning right along with me. And when she looked over at me watching her, I made sure she knew I was not happy about her swooning over Alec. I glared and nodded. The mother quickly looked back at her daughter, appearing to be a little scared.

_Yeah bitch. Keep eye-sexing him. See what happens._

"For me? But you need it." Sophie sounded guilty, taking the rose from him. Alec shrugged and ran his hand through his locks.

"I don't need it. I have Vanessa here to protect me." He looked back at me and smiled with a wink.

I think I just died and went to Heaven, because I was about five seconds from hugging me an angel. A dark, scary, twisted up angel who had a way with children.

I _protect_ him? What was that suppose to mean? That he needed me?

Okay, I wont read into his. I wont. He was just being nice to the little girl. Being completely and totally sweet to a strange human girl. Telling her this to make her feel better. It has nothing do to with me.

_Yeah? Then how come you're blushing? And feeling things in your stomach?_

Ugh!

Alec had a way with kids. Who knew? I sure didn't. Then again, tonight I seemed to be learning a lot about Alec. Today was just full of surprises. What was the most shocking? Me. I was…I was.

No, no, no.

"She your wife?" Sophie asked, pulling the rose to her chest and hugging it as if it were worth more than twenty cents. I gasped at her question. Where did kids learn these things? Alec and I didn't even look old enough to be married, but I guess when you're a little one, you see an older kid and instantly think their a thousand years old. The sad part of it was, she was right to think that of Alec. Because he was.

I didn't know what to do here. I didn't know how to handle the feelings and I didn't even know if I liked them. How can Alec pull a Jekyll and Hyde with me now? How could he be so flip floppy today? One minute I hated him and now I'm falling for him!

Yes. I said it. I was liking him. And more than a friend way. And what does that mean for me? What does that make me, to fall for my kidnapper? That's so messed up, it's not even funny. I wished I could say it's because he was a vampire and he's beautiful but this? With him and Sophie and how she's looking at him like he's a hero and he's just being so understanding and touching, it just makes me feel like there's more to my attraction then just looks. Because it had nothing to do with looks. This was Alec at his best. And it scared this shit out of me, because I liked him now. And I didn't want it to stop. I didn't want him to be an asshole again, because liking him means it'll hurt more. He'd hurt me more than before. And I just can't handle it. I like _this_ Alec. I want _this_ Alec.

Damn.

"My wife? Well…" Alec chuckled nervously.

I raised an eyebrow at him as he looked me over, asking the muted question of what to tell her. If it was any other time, like earlier with Amber or the old lady at the B&B, he would come up with a lie to say what we were married, or siblings. But he couldn't. He knew I didn't want to role-play anymore. And I was secretly telling him that with my eyes too.

"She's…my Hersheys." Alec said, looking back at Sophie then back at me. "That's what she is."

_Oh, I want to kiss you. Though I know I shouldn't._

"She's pretty too. Like Snow White!" Sophie sighed. Alec laughed and gave me a soft smile, and I blushed.

I was secretly waiting in hope that he would agree with her, even if I knew the truth. I wasn't at all his taste, or so he claimed. But I couldn't help but wonder if maybe, just maybe, he'd grown an attachment as well. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up on something so crazy, but there it was, that vulnerability that just wanted to be…well, wanted. Everyone felt a yearning to be wanted, right? It wasn't that big of a deal. So, what if I had never felt wanted in my entire life? So, what if I did find myself wanting him in return? I'd make it go away…later, when he wasn't being so damn charming.

"You think so?" Alec asked, but before Sophie could give a reply, her mother was pulling her away from her new friend.

I guess since she hadn't gotten her way with the "underage" goodies, neither could her kid. So immature. But I was glad to see the mom go.

However, as her mother was beginning to pull her away, little Sophie escaped from her grasp and kissed Alec right on his cheek, giggling as she then followed her mom, the rose still in her small hand.

Was it wrong to say I was jealous of a seven year old?

Alec stood up from the ground after waving Sophie off, and turned to look at me. I must had some kind of odd look on my face, because Alec just shook his head, and rolled his eyes. I was about to ask him about his way with kids, when Alec cut me off before I got a word in.

"It was just a spur of the moment kind of thing." Alec reasoned, I bit my lip and nodded as if I agreed. Even if I wasn't agreeing with anything.

People don't just randomly become good with kids and it be out of character. He was good with Sophie because it was part of who he was. Nothing else. He knew that and I knew that. He was just in denial.

"She liked you."

"She doesn't know any better."

"I don't know about that. Kids can see people a lot clearer than most. They can sense when you're no good." I nodded as the ride finally slowed down once more.

"Sophie was scared. I gave her a bullshit present; therefore she liked me. That's all. Can we just get on this ride and move on?" Alec sighed looking impatient. I smiled and walked up to the gate.

"Yes, lets."

"Wow, it um, that really looks like you know what you're doing there, Alec." I commented, a smile in my voice.

"What?"

I cleared my throat, my grin spreading on my face as I glanced down and then back up to meet his confused eyes. He followed my glance, staring downward and shaking his head. He looked back to up me, still shaking his head in exasperation.

We had made our way into our seats, waiting for the ride to begin. While I was sitting patiently, eager for what was to come next, I couldn't help but notice that Alec was gripping very tightly onto the pole that was placed in between his legs, which was connected to the seat belt. It was immature, I know, but from the angle, it really looked like he fondling himself.

Watching Alec's expression, it looked like he wanted to be blushing. I could imagine a soft pink glow emerging onto his smooth, granite cheeks. It would have been beautiful. Thank God he couldn't blush, though. I would have been completely done for if I ever saw a blush on his face, already so perfect.

"If you hold onto that any tighter, it's going to break, I bet."

"Seriously?" He said, raising his eyebrows. I could see the corners of his mouth tighten, as if he was trying to keep them down. "Knock it off."

"That's what she said.."

Alec's silky voice erupted into a soft laughter, his body still very tense, but his face glowing with a brilliant smile that startled me into silence. I was in awe of the way that his Adam's apple moved from the vibrations of the melodious sounds ringing out. Looking at him, it felt like my insides were melting, my knees quivering.

Alec was already so gorgeous, but while he laughed like this? It almost seemed like I wasn't supposed to be watching, it was so perfect, almost intimate, because he never did this. It was sacred, and I was falling apart watching him. He seemed now like a completely different person.

"Where do you come up with this stuff?" He asked, his voice still light with amusement.

I said nothing. Actually, I was trying to figure out my next joke, in hopes of him starting to laugh again. Maybe I shouldn't push my luck. Maybe I had to take it for what it was: a rare gift. After all, given too much of something, you don't appreciate as much after time.

"Hello?" Alec said, looking at me concerned.

Oh, yeah. Got to answer.

"Where do I come up with it?" I echoed. "You're the one provoking me with a pole in between your legs.."

"Why? Would you rather it be in between your legs, Hersheys?" His eyebrow cocked ever so slightly.

My jaw dropped, my eyes widening as I stared at him.

Ho-ly-shit.

Alec just made a pass at me.

"Was that a suggestive comment, Licorice?" I practically gasped, feeling my cheeks flood with heat. Actually, the heat was spreading throughout my entire body as I took a moment to visualize what he said.

He smiled briefly, right as the ride was beginning to move. His smile quickly dissolved into a horrified, thin line. His eyes filled with dread as we lifted above the ground, gradually started to spin. It only took him a second after that to sew his eyes completely shut, refusing to look. His grip on his special little friend tightened even further.

I grabbed hold of the wheel in front of me which spun our car individually. Now high in the air, our car tilted, and I began to pull at the wheel, making our car go in circles.

Alec hissed.

"Stop that!" He commanded, his eyes remaining closed. "I know what you're doing. You're just making it worse!"

It was my turn to laugh, enjoying the cold night air brush against my hot skin. I looked down towards the ground, feeling a pleasant, fluttery feeling in my stomach. It only made me giggle more.

"You should open your eyes!" I said excitedly. "It's not so bad."

I continued to spin the wheel, when I felt a cool hand grip onto the top of mine. It electrified me, and I looked down, seeing that Alec had taken one of his hands off the pole to grab mine, to keep me from spinning the wheel. Once again, I loved the it looked when his hand was against mine, both pale and similar, yet so different. Mine smaller and dainty, his longer and beautiful.

I gulped, pulling my eyes away from our hands to his face. His eyes were open now, burning into mine with intensity.

I could have thrown up, but it wouldn't be from the ride. It would have been from my nerves, which were quickly going in circles like the ride was.

"Come on!" I complained. "I have to spin it! It's there to be spun!"

"Not anymore, it's not."

"You have no sense of adventure!"

I saw his throat constrict, indicating he was gulping. He was back to being scared.

"Keep talking. It's distracting." He pleaded, his eyes so wide and innocent. I smiled.

"Talk about what?"

"Anything."

I nodded slowly, weighing my options of what to discuss.

"You never answered my question," I said. "Was that a suggestive, flirtatious comment?"

He rolled his eyes.

"I was going for the shock value of it all."

"So you shocked me by flirting with me?"

"Yes."

"So, you admit to flirting with me?"

"No.."

"Well, which is it? Yes or no? Answer, or I'm going to go on this ride again…and again." I threatened, my voice lowering.

His eyes narrowed at me, his gaze darkening in a second's time.

"I will drag your ass back to my car before you even get a chance to get in line."

I grinned evilly.

"Who said anything about having to get back in line? We can just stay in our seats until it starts back up again."

"Hersheys!"

"Licorice!"

"I hate you."

"Too bad I like you then, huh?"

My heart just dropped a little at my honest answer. I looked up at Alec to see if my comment phased him in any way, but he was apparently too busy with the ride. I mentally prayed to God, thanking Him and continued to spin the wheel.

I didn't know why I just told him I liked him when I knew I'd make this go away later. When we were back in the hotel. I'd go to sleep and I'd wake up and everything would be back to normal. I'd hate him again in the morning. I would make it disappear.

Looking at Alec now, I could see his eyes were closed and he was refusing to look at me. I didn't know whether that was a good thing or not.

When the ride was over, I was suddenly thankful to be on ground. Apparently weird shit happened when I was in the air with Alec. First a hug, then a confession.

Next thing you know, we'd kiss or something.

HA!

"Are we done riding the rides yet?" Alec asked as we walked over to a blue bench near the tornado and sat.

As we did so, we both automatically made it a point to sit as far away from each other as possible. I bit my lip and looked around the fair. It was hard to find a ride around a fair that didn't go in the air. And since I'd decided that air-rides were a no go, I needed to find something that was nice and safe. Also, something that Alec might enjoy. That is if Alec was capable of enjoying anything.

Scanning the fair, I could see multiple possibilities. I looked at Alec and sighed, biting my lower lip as people continued to pass us.

"You choose."

"Me?"

"Yeah. You pick one ride and then we can leave."

Alec groaned and looked around, his eyes setting on one ride that was right in front of us. I knew he just picked randomly, because I never pegged him for a "Scrambler" kind of guy. Well, at least it doesn't go in the air and it was a ride I've never actually been on. So maybe it could be fun? It looked like it was. The seats going round and round.

"That one?" I asked to confirm, Alec nodded and stood up stalking toward it. I followed and we both got in line.

The weird thing was though once we got into the seat, with Alec on the outside and me on the inside, we could hear two girls, one car ahead of us, fighting on which side they wanted to be on.

"Please don't make me sit there. I'll die!"

"You can handle it, please. I was in the outside last time."

"But…c'mon!"

I looked over at Alec, who was staring at the two friends with an expression of confusion. I looked at everyone else who was getting on the ride too, but they weren't fighting as much as these two were. But I did notice that in each pair, the guys were on the outside of the seat, preparing for something, their arms wrapped around their lady friends. What the hell?

"Is it just me, or are we missing something?" I whispered to Alec.

He glanced at me, and when the operator of the ride came around to check to see we were buckled in right, Alec grabbed his wrist to ask him a question.

"Sir, is there a reason why those girls are fighting?"

The operator looked at both girls who were thankfully sitting but the one on the outside had a pout to her face. She looked like she was really pissed about something, while the girl on the inside was smiling, obviously pleased. The operator looked at Alec and me and asked if we ever rode this ride before. We claimed we hadn't, and the strangest thing happened.

The stranger started laughing at us and walked away.

We both shared a glance, clearly he was as puzzled as I was. But when the ride started and everything started going into motion, it all became very clear.

"SHIT!" I exclaimed, gravity slamming my body right against Alec's, My hair hitting him in the face as we spun in a sharp turn.

"PULL YOUR SELF AWAY!""I CAN'T!" I screamed.

Once again we turned, and I was forced to ram right into my co-passenger. My body pressed hard against his as I tried to yank myself over, but finding it impossible. I knew I was half vampire but something's can't be won. And I had no choice but to feel my body slam right into Alec's over and over with every curve.

"GET. YOUR HAIR. OUT. OF MY FACE!"

"Stop yelling at me, I'm trying!" I snapped, trying to get my hair, but once I let go of the latch, my body slid closer to Alec than I wanted.

I was practically on top of him now. The whole fair was becoming a blur as we seemed to move faster and faster. The faster we went the more dizzy I got and the harder I fell into Alec's hip. My hands started slipping from the latch all together.

This is why people were fighting. Poor Alec was becoming a pancake because of my body pushing into him. I turned the other way, trying to see if that might help, but I only made it worse, because now I was facing him and the force of the turns were pushing me to his chest. It got the point where I just gave, and my head laid on his chest, with my hip smacked right into his. One of my hands was on his chest, and the other between us. Alec's body was hard and tense by my closeness. I closed my eyes till the ride was over and it finally came to a stop, neither one of us moved from our spots. His chest was cool against my cheek and completely still. He wasn't breathing.

I closed my eyes and breathed in the night air around us, mixed in with his aroma.

This was the first time I'd gotten this close to Alec, his scent was unlike anything I'd heard smelled on a vampire.

It a mixture of almond extract and baked goods, along with something that I think was just plain Alec. He was a walking baked treat like a cookie or cake. I pressed my nose into the shirt but not enough for him to notice my indecent movement. I opened my eyes and when I looked up at him from where I laid my head down, I could see that he was looking back me with such intensity I felt my own breath catch. My eyes bared into his. His eyes looked darker than before; they were mothering me, but yet I couldn't look away. I didn't want to.

His eyes were not scary in the slightest, even though they were currently a dark burgundy shade, as the brown contacts he had put in were beginning to melt from his venom. They were beautiful rubies that I didn't realize was there. How could I not notice? I mean, yes I knew they were beautiful in a way but this seemed different some how. Almost like I see all his secrets playing themselves out through his eyes. Only I really didn't know much about Alec, except that he liked to read poems and lost someone by the name of Jane. But yet in his eyes I saw pain. Lots and lots of pain and sorrow.

It wasn't until the man who ran this ride came up and asked us if we were ride again that I realized that our faces had gotten closer. Too close, actually. His breath was hitting my face and my lips were inches, if that, from his. I looked down to his mouth and back to his eyes and turned away. Unsure of where we would be had we not be disturbed.

"Miss?" The guy asked again. I looked at him and nodded, pushing myself away from Alec's body to stand up. I swept the hair out of my face, already sensing Alec's scent on my skin and clothes.

The air was growing thicker between us, and neither of us had to say a thing to know that it was definitely time to leave. We wordlessly walked back to his Mustang; the only sound between us was my heart pounding against my ribs. I didn't know how to process what just might have happened. More than anything it confused me to no degree. It was maybe one thing for me to go in for a kiss, because it hadn't been the first attempt I'd had…but the major difference is it didn't look like he was putting in much protest.

What did that mean, exactly?

We stepped back into our hotel room, both of us still silent. I practically ran into the bathroom, taking a moment to finally take a breath. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, observing my flushed, pink cheeks. My dark hair fell in waves over my shoulders, looking slightly messy from being whipped around. In Alec's face.

I sighed, and quickly changed back into my oversized tee shirt. After stalling going back into the room by brushing my teeth, pulling my hair into a ponytail, and splashing water on my face, I clenched one of my fists and opened the door.

Alec was waiting on the other side, a clean set of clothes tucked under his arm. Our eyes made contact briefly before I looked away, feeling my face heat up once more.

What the hell? Nothing had even happened, and I was still blushing like an idiot.

"You going to sleep..?" He asked under his breath while I stared at the wall behind him.

I nodded. And he nodded in response to my nod, then walked into the bathroom, pushing the door closed.

I stood there for what seemed like minutes when the bag of Hershey's Drops that Alec had bought me caught my attention. I went over to rip the bag open, popping one of the chocolates in my mouth. I was surprised when I found myself enjoying it. I was lost in my own world with the chocolate melting in my mouth when I noticed that the sound of water had stopped. He must have been out of the shower already.

I was on my way to crawling into bed when I glanced over at the bathroom door. My eyes widened when I saw that it wasn't shut all of the way. Without thinking, I let my eyes linger on the small space where I could see into the bathroom. Then I saw a glimpse of pale skin, and I felt my chest constrict.

He must have not noticed that he didn't completely shut the door. One would think he would…considering he was naked. The only bit of him I could see was a perfectly defined hip bone.

I felt my teeth sink into my bottom lip longingly as his hip shifted slightly, revealing more of his toned flesh. My eyes found that teasing line under his hip bone. It was sloped at just the right angle, cut in the perfect shape. It curved under, leading lower in the shape of a beautiful V.

Knowing where that slanted line led to, I heard myself making a small sound under my breath. I wasn't sure of it was considered a moan or a groan or a whimper, it might have been all of the above. I just knew it was agonizingly wonderful taking view to even a sliver of his body. How could I not be entranced by the sight? Staring at him, I knew those hips could most definitely work magic. That thought alone sent a delicious tingle down my stomach.

With my enhanced vision I could make out the tiny beads of water gracing the surface of his skin. I never knew I could be jealous of water, but I was. So close. I was finding myself wanting to lick up those drops of warm water from him, feeling his smooth surface slide under my tongue. Beneath one of the many tear shaped beads, I saw a small birthmark the size of a nickel on his hip. It was light tan in color, and contrasted luminously with his almost glowing pale skin. It was amazing to me, thinking of that small mark on his skin for over a millennium, something he was born with.

Beautiful didn't seem the right word for him. Nothing did, actually. No words can really describe perfection. We can only see it; feel what it can invoke in us. Just like art. He was like the statue David, gloriously carved to precision and without any faults.

With my heart slamming into my chest, I found myself slowly backing up, making myself look away from the scene before me. It wasn't right, and I would only continue torturing myself if I continued to look. Walking backwards, I felt my body hit the dresser behind me clumsily, hearing an object fall onto the floor in the process. Startled slightly, I looked down to see what had fallen. It was one of Alec's many books of poetry. It was laying open, like it was just meant to tempt me.

When I bent down to put it back onto the dresser, I noticed that this book was different than the others he had. Its cover was made of leather, and the insides were blank pages. Like a journal. But I saw that instead of regular entries, there were poems. I held it in my hand, glancing at the door. He hadn't made any indication of coming out, despite the fact that he should have heard me dropping the book. So I processed to study the object. Shaking my head, I decided to just put it back, when one of the pieces of beige paper fell between the pages of the book. At the top of the page, I could see there was a title called, "Dream."

It was a simple title, but I was internally screaming. I knew in the back of my mind that there was a million reasons why I shouldn't have done what I was about to do. Alec would be able to smell my scent on the paper, and he'd know. But the curiosity was overpowering.

I looked back at the door again, but he was still in the process of getting dressed. Gulping, I focused my attention back on the paper and before I knew it, I was reading the its contents.

…

_I lay awake, no sounds astir_

_Sleep has forsaken me, my friend no more_

_I wait, I wait; it shall not come_

_But were I to fall into a slumber_

_Petal lips so soft, I'd meet_

_I wait, I wait, it shall not come_

_Caresses so tender, I dare not moan. _

_Down the path to bliss, I trail _

_I wait, I wait; it shall not come_

_At her cries, I come undone_

_She shivers and quakes, approaching her peak. _

_I wait, I wait; it shall not come_

_In my arms, I keep her safe_

_In my heart, she has taken place_

_I wait, I wait; it shall not come._

…

Out of the endless thoughts that were swarming through my head, one seemed to stand out above the rest to me as I stared at the words written on the paper.

It was written in elegant calligraphy, and given by the strong scent of the ink that was coming off of the page…

It was written very recently.

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><p><strong>Writer's Note: Okay...so there are a million excuses we could come up with as to why we update so crappy, but there really wouldn't be any good ones, so we wont even bother. The fact is, we just suck when it comes to updating! We know a lot of you are really upset with us, and we don't blame you. Some of you have given up on the fanfiction, we're sure. Again, we don't blame you. To those who actually stick it out and put up with our crap, you guys are pretty amazing. We do appriciate all your comments, even the critiques! We hope you guys liked this chapter!<strong>

**-IITM**


	9. Chapter IX: Honesty

**Disclaimer: We don't own Alec and Renesmee, for reasons we still don't understand. That doesn't mean we can't pretend and pull on the strings of their puppets, though. Happy reading, darlings! -Cee and Tiff {IITM} [Please read author's note at end of chapter!] **

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><p><strong>Chapter IX: Honesty<strong>

_Recently._

That word kept replaying in my head as I scanned the poem over and over. It was a beautiful poem, really. But it leaked sadness everywhere. I was never really good at dissecting poetry, but this one was written so clearly that it made me feel like I see the sun through the fog. Completely apparent. The narrator, who I assume is Alec, was very...sad. Sad and clearly in love. Being a vampire means a lot of things. Blood thirst, immortality and never being tired. Sleep becomes a distant memory for vampires. And when there's no sleep, there's no dreams to look forward to at night. According to this, Alec wanted to dream more than anything, because that's the only way he could be with this person. Who I guessed was Jane? Who else would it be?

For moment, I pretended it was me. But I knew that would be a waste of time. Alec would never want me like that. Not in reality, and certainly not in dreams. It's obvious why he couldn't be with Jane, though. She was gone. He said so himself. He saw it happen, and now the only way he could hold her again was through dreams that will never come. It's quite tragic, really. To want someone and not being able to touch them. It made me want to hug Alec. But I knew better than that. He would think that I was crazy, hugging him when there was no reason.

Looking down at the words, I reread my favorite lines of the poem. Though it was hard to choose which part like I liked more than the others. It was all so alluring and made my blood rush to my cheeks, with its sensuality and detail. But this one part made it all the more lovely. It made my heart ache for the man in the bathroom.

_In my arms, I keep her safe._

_In my heart, she has taken place._

_I wait, I wait; it shall not come._

Jane must've really been someone in order to remain in his heart for so long. I briefly wondered what she looked like. Was she tall or short? Red hair, blonde? There was no doubt in my mind she was beyond breathtaking. Every female vampire was. That fact meant Jane was flawless. Where with me, all Alec saw was flaws. Just thinking about Jane spread an unknown sensation through my veins. I couldn't describe it. Anger? Frustration? I was overwhelmed with it. I always knew I had issues with myself. Deep down they were always there, and I never ever believed love was a good thing. But now that I knew what Alec felt about Jane, it made me want to puke. Suddenly, I was glad that I didn't know what she looked like.

Jealously.

That's what it was. I was jealous. Only it wasn't like that time in the book store. What I was feeling now...this was true, gut wrenching jealousy. The kind I didn't think I could over look. Not ever.

Trying to push the emotion aside, I felt a presence standing in front of me. A shadow cast over the book in my hand. I didn't need to look up to know who it was. Instead, I kept my face down, my hands loosening on the leather of the book.

"Enjoying that, are you?" Alec growled as he snatched the book out of my hands.

I stepped back away from him, mentally preparing myself for the argument that's doomed to take place any moment. I no longer feared Alec the way I once had, and I knew he wouldn't actually kill me. But I knew how shortsighted he could be. I thought about what he said in the beginning of all this, about me touching his stuff and then briefly, I thought about him grabbing my things and leaving them on the side of the street.

What was he planning on doing now? Were we going back to square one again? Where he threatens me and numbs my body? For some reason I couldn't see that happening anymore. Alec had opened up to me tonight, far more than he ever had before. It would be tragic if the person I saw tonight disappeared from me forever. In fact, I think I'd miss him greatly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry. I was...just curious." I explained quickly, waiting for the whip-lashing to commence.

Alec only shook his head and turned his back on me, returning the book to its proper place. While his eyes weren't on me, I was free to admire his naked upper body with no judgment from him. He hadn't bothered drying himself with a towel, once again. Beads of water traveled down the glowing pale, smooth lines of his back. I watched with admiration. Only moments prior to this was I examining the small birthmark on his hipbone, and now this. Was this his form of punishment? He was killing me slowly this way. Even if I was dying, I thanked God for such a gift. He may have been pissed at me, but at least I'd have something pretty to look at while he yells or whatever he had planned.

"If I wanted you to read something of mine, I would of offered it." He replied coldly after what felt like forever. I nodded, because what else could I do? He was right. I was a snoop. What's worse is that if it were me, I'd be beyond forgiving. Just imagining Alec going through my book of photos sent my breathing into a frenzy.

"I said I was sorry."

"Yes you did." He sounded indifferent. Was he embarrassed because I read his work? If he was, he didn't show it. "Because you were caught."

"That's not true," I argued. "I'm sorry because...well actually...I'm not sorry." I walked over to be my bed and pulled back the covers, readying myself for sleep.

Alec tilted his head slightly, a smirk spreading across his lovely face as he sat in the chair across from me. I blinked, because he looked so...desirable, smirking at me like that. As if he was enjoying some inside joke.

"Oh?"

"Yes, oh. I'm not apologizing because your poem is..."

"Is what?" He asked, his face instantly turning serious and...vulnerable? Was Alec scared of what I thought of his poem? Why would it matter what I thought of his declaration of love for Jane?

Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he was embarrassed. The poem definitely didn't match well with Alec's supposed 'asshole' image he set out for everyone around him. Did it really matter what I thought of it? Regardless of the reason, I chose my words carefully as I snuggled into my bed, pulling the cover up to my chest.

"It's...nice."

"Just nice?"

"What do you want me to say, Alec? It wasn't meant for me."

Shit. Did I really just go there? It sounded like I was complaining or something. When really I wanted to know why it mattered to me.

Alec then shocked me. He busted out into laughter. But it wasn't the genuine laughter I craved so much, it was the same cynical laughter that chilled me all the way to my bones. What brought this on? I was being completely serious about an important topic, and he was laughing?

"I don't know what's amusing..." I grumbled, sinking deeper into the comfort of the bed. "You lost someone you cared about. How is that in anyway funny?"

He shook his head to himself, his eyes closing briefly. I reached over and turned off the lamp. Darkness fell over the two of us quickly, leaving only an awkward silence behind. Until, however, he shifted in his chair.

"You're right. It's not funny at all. Especially since I didn't lose her. You can't lose someone you never even had.."

Ouch. Okay, now I was even more depressed over his poem. But hold on...he never had Jane? I was growing more confused by the second. The mystery of his past was overwhelming me by the need to know. I wanted to know about him. I need to know. That was perplexing, because the need to learn things about someone was something I had been out of practice in. I hadn't much cared in a long time. But I didn't know why this even surprised me.

I was starting to like him. Of course I'd want to discover things about him. The reasons why he is the way he is. It was dangerous, the longing to console in him. It wasn't natural for me. I didn't like it. I didn't open the feeling with open arms. I wanted it to all go away as quickly as possible. Only then would I be insured safety from the clutches of the disappointment attachment can bring. Even scarier, I felt like I was hopeless to stop anything that came my way.

Naturally, I also couldn't stop the questions from flowing out of my mouth, either.

"What do you mean you never had her? But I thought...I mean, the way you made it sound..."

Silence. A tense silence.

"...Beg pardon?" Asked Alec after several moments.

"Well...I mean, when you mentioned Jane, I just assumed..."

More silence. Unbearable, almost. Until...

"J-Jane?" Now it was hysterical laughter that swelled in the pitch black room. Not bitter, just extremely loud laughter that seemed to boom out of his chest. I could almost see his head thrown back against his chair, his shoulders contracting. "You think...my poem- is about- Jane?"

I blinked in confusion. Had I really been wrong this whole time? Could it be that he wasn't in love with this Jane character after all? Two emotions swarmed inside me at once. The first I could register was relief. The second, was bitterness, because if it wasn't Jane, it was more than likely someone still living. Somehow, that made it even worse. I felt like someone had punched my stomach, my heart heavy in my chest.

How pathetic can I possibly be?

"I just assumed..." I muttered.

He sighed, his laughter at last subsiding. I heard him get up from his chair, and then to my utter astonishment, I felt his presence growing closer and closer until he was actually lying down next to me. On the same bed. On my bed. He was above the covers, so I didn't have too much reason to freak out.

Actually, I did. He was shirtless, he was wet, he was breathtaking. And he was close. Very close. I could smell the fresh scent of soap and shampoo off his skin. It sent a delightful flutter into the pit of my stomach. I wanted more than anything to reach over and simply touch him. I had to clench my fists, dig my nails into my palms to contain myself.

What was he doing to me?

"No, Hersheys. Not Jane. Never, _ever_ Jane. That's...sickening to even think about." His voice held a certain amount of disgust at the mention of Jane in that context. I knew he was telling me the truth. That didn't help me with the knowledge that there was still someone else, though.

"Jane was a friend?" I asked timidly.

"Something like that, yes." He confirmed.

I didn't know what compelled me to notify him of this, but as my conversation with Adriel popped into my head, I couldn't help myself. Ever since Ade had informed me that Alec had assumed Jacob and I had been dating, I had secretly wanted to inform Alec personally that this wasn't true. It was pointless, though. According to Ade, Alec liked me. But how much could Alec like me if he was in love with another woman?

"Jacob was like my brother."

I felt his gaze turn upon me, his body shifting to one side. Heat rose from the pores of my body, I could almost feel it radiating around me at the sensation his eyes left on me. I turned my head, matching his stare. My eyes had quickly adjusted to darkened room, and my heightened vision could make his features out perfectly. Those piercing, sangria colored eyes fixated on me. My breath got caught in my throat. It felt like earlier on the scrambler ride, when I had thought we might have almost kissed. Only now it was much more tempting. In the privacy of seclusion while we lay in the same bed.

All I wanted was just to brush my lips against his, if nothing else. I could live with that. Just the tiniest taste of that alluring mouth of his. I bit down on my own lip hard in protest, not caring if this gesture gave my thoughts away. He knew my attraction towards him. There was really no point in disguising it. His eyes found my mouth, remained there for a second or two, then resumed their position on my eyes.

"Was he, now?" He asked so gently it was almost a whisper. "A brother?"

I nodded in confirmation.

He sighed, shifting his body again so he was on his back. He stared up at the ceiling while I stared at him. What was he thinking? I couldn't make out a reaction at all. As far as I could see, he didn't have one. Typical. He was so hard to read. It was maddening.

"Hersheys?"

"What?"

"What did you really think of my poem?"

"You really care about my opinion?" I asked, taken back.

He shrugged his naked shoulders, one of his hands lazily resting on his stomach, while the other was propped up under his head as a form of cushion.

"Just making conversation," he replied.

That was good enough for me. Only now I was tongue tied, and longing to be touched by those beautiful hands of his. I was having a hard time conjuring up any thoughts at the present moment. I forced myself to focus, because I could drool over Alec anytime. Right now, though, he was asking for my opinion. Something that would probably never happen again.

Make it last, woman!

"I thought it was heartbreaking, actually..." I whispered.

"Why is that?" He whispered back.

"The concept of it all. You want sleep, so you can dream. You want to dream so you can do the things you otherwise couldn't do. And you can't even do that. It's...tragic."

He remained quiet, as if waiting for me to continue.

"Like now. You're lying here in a bed. No matter how long you'd stay here, you would never fall asleep. Separated from what you want most. That's terrible, Alec..."

He broke his stare from the ceiling, finding me again. The raw emotion in his eyes reflected perfectly on the words written in the poem. I could see them all forming in his iris'.

_I wait, I wait. It shall not come._

"That's reality, Vanessa." He replied, resting his head on the pillow.

I shook my head.

"This is why I don't fall in love. It only causes destruction, heartache. Always. Nothing good ever comes out of it...at least, not really for vampires."

His brow furrowed at this. He seemed displeased by this. Why? I was telling the truth. He must've known this deep down himself. Giving your heart away to someone was a really big risk. Not only did it cloud your judgment and make you vulnerable to attack, it make you rely on someone entirely for everything. Now, I wasn't IN love with Jacob, but I did love him. And I did rely on him. That only made it that much worse when he turned up gone. I had no idea what I was doing. I was clueless.

And my parents? Do I even need to go into that? Look where love got them. They loved each other so much, they got married. Then they had me. The biggest mistake of all. Then their love for me was so great they put their own lives in danger. For someone who wasn't worth it. The reminder of that made tears sting my eyes, and I quickly turned my face away from Alec, hiding.

"You don't really think that, do you?"

"Maybe not all vampires. I just know from my own experience that it isn't good-"

"Well, obviously your experience in love is very limited, Hersheys.." He interrupted, his turn now to shake his head in disbelief. "You think I'm tragic? Not as tragic as someone who recognizes love as something to be disgusted by." His voice had taken on a slightly offended note by this point.

What the hell?

"I didn't say I was disgusted by it, Alec. I'm..."

"You're scared of it..." He finished for me, his tone softer now. It was like he thought he was reading my mind. He nodded to himself, so sure. Truth me told, I had never thought about it that way, being scared of love. I guess in a way I was. How he knew this, though, I had no idea.

I didn't have to tell him that, though.

"Scared? I'm not scared." I lied, horribly so too. He chuckled through his nose, obviously not buying it. "Okay, Licorice...what are _you _scared of?"

He pursed his lips in thought, taking several moments to reply. He leaned up on one arm, facing me, his cheek in his palm.

"The past," he admitted.

"The past? Why would you be scared of the past? I mean...it's in the past."

"The past always effects the present. And I wonder about the things I could have done differently, how things could have improved if I knew then what I know now...you understand?"

I nodded, because in truth, I did understand. The past did haunt me. Although, I'm not sure if there is anything I could have done that would have changed things now. That's what was even worse. There was nothing I could have done to stop my family's death. Nothing to stop Jacob from leaving me. Nothing to stop the Volturi's assumption on what I was. The only way I could have stopped this is if I had never been born, and that I had no control of. That was on my parents and their love.

If they could've known what my existence would cause...surly they wouldn't have considered me.

"What could you have changed if you knew then what you know now?" I dared to ask.

He smiled sadly, grief in his eyes. I didn't need him to answer aloud to know the answer.

He could have saved Jane.

"I'm sorry, Alec.."

He shook his head, dismissing my apology.

"Why do people always apologize for things that aren't their fault?" he asked, sounding as if he expected me to know the answer.

"Human nature?"

"You're not human."

"Half human," I corrected. He rolled his eyes in typical Licorice fashion.

"My mistake."

"I'll let it slide just this once."

He chuckled through his nose again, leaning back into his pillow. I kept expecting him to get up and go back to his chair, or the bed across from mine. But he didn't move. Instead, he seemed to be growing more comfortable. Or at least as comfortable as a vampire can get. I decided not to mention it, risking him moving. I instead closed my eyes, now realizing how exhausted I actually was. This day seemed to have lasted a lifetime. Too much had happened. I saw it all reply again.

The nomadic vampire who almost killed me. Alec saving my life. His voice as he said, "Not my Hersheys." More fighting with Alec. Talking on the phone with the seductive Adriel, Barnes and Noble, getting jealous of Amber. Holding Alec's hand in the car. My meltdown over Jacob. Another huge fight with Alec. Hershey's Drops. The fair. Sophie's pink rose. Alec gripping his pole. The sound of his laughter and how much it comforted me. The presence of Alec's cool body mere inches from mine.

Yes, almost asleep now.

The last thing I heard before I was pulled completely under sounded something like, "Dream something happy for the both of us."

If only. My dreams were seldom happy.

Tonight was no exception.

_I'm standing in the vast green forest. _

_Home. Forks. Yes, definitely home. Everything is the same. The damp earth beneath my bare feet, the green leaves, the moist air, the rain drizzling from overcast skies. Everything is just as before. Alice's lighthearted giggle. Emmett's booming laugh as he tracks down a bear. Rosalie and her cool smile. __Esme, her soft hands braiding my hair. Jasper's dimpled grin. Carlisle at her side, his gaze on her face so tender. Momma, her soft embrace and voice whispering to me. I can hear Daddy's piano playing from afar, the song he always plays. _

_Everything is so warm. So perfect. _

_Then, as if in the blink of an eye...they're all gone. No piano. No laughter. Nothing. It seems colder now. Bitterly cold. Eerily cold. I'm standing alone now, looking around frantically. That's when I see my Jacob. Standing five feet away or so. His face is hard as stone, revolted. I blink in confusion. Jacob never looks at me this way._

_'Jacob?' I ask. It is then I realize I'm small again. Just three months old. The size of a toddler. My feet beneath me are tiny, my hands have dimples. My hair long, bronze and in ringlets that fall to my waist. I feel helpless. Weak. Unwanted by the way Jacob is glaring at me. _

_As I look back down to my feet, I see...ashes? Are those ashes? Yes. Ashes everywhere under me. All around me. Fire. I can feel it on my skin. Too hot. My heart is pounding now. When I look back up at Jacob, he's shaking with fury._

_"You killed them, Nessie."_

_I shake my head frantically, wishing the ashes would go away already._

_"No, I didn't. I swear, I didn't!" I scream. It doesn't matter. He wont listen._

_"I'm as good as dead now, too. Your fault. Always you. I was happier before. I was free. You took that away from me."_

_The ashes are everywhere now. Flying around me in a frenzy. Clouding my vision._

_"You killed us."_

_I feel myself sinking. Lower. Into the hot ashes like quicksand They burn my skin. I'm screaming for __Jacob. He only flakes into ashes himself, the last thing I see is a shake of his head. And he's gone. They're all gone. And I'm drowning._

Air pushed its way out of my lungs in a howling scream. I wasn't really sure if I was still dreaming or not. I could still feel the ashes on my skin, still see Jacob's scorned face as he glared at me. I'd had this nightmare once before, only then I had been in the clearing where they had all been killed. And Jacob, instead of him turning into ashes, he phased into his wolf, growling and snarling at me, preparing to attack.

It was only when I felt Alec's comforting, cool hands on my skin that I was assured the nightmare was over. But in a sense, it would never really be over. It seemed it was always there with me. The thought in my head.

I killed them.

Hot tears pooled in my eyes and quickly spilled over onto my cheeks, blurring my vision. I tried keeping the emotion locked inside of me, desperate to appear strong for him. I had already lost my composure once in front of Alec. But when he pulled my body closer to his, making me lean into him, there was really nothing I could do to stop the sobs that broke from my chest.

"It's okay...it's over.." He whispered, the sound of his voice reassuring.

I buried my face into his shoulder, my tears falling on his skin. His arms wrapped around me, securing me against him, protecting me from everything else. It was as if I was in a cocoon, where nothing else existed. My sobs subsided slowly, but the tears were abundant. I wrapped my free arm around Alec, feeling as if I couldn't get close enough.

If I didn't know any better, I'd think I was still dreaming. Could it be he was really holding me? That I was letting him? After all the insults, bickering, cold silences passed between us...I was really in his arms? I felt too good to be real. I decided in that moment that being this close to him felt better than anything I had experienced in a long time. The sweet, soothing scent of his skin. His long fingers as they brushed wet, tear soaked hair from my face. His wintry cold body cooling me down, as I was overheated.

I could have stayed here with him forever.

"What was the dream about, Hersheys?" He asked gently, his breath hitting my cheekbone. I felt goosebumps spring on my skin.

"Nothing you would want," I replied, my voice cracking. "Maybe it's a good thing you can't dream, after all."

That's when I really questioned whether or not I was still sleeping. It was when he put his lips to my forehead, kissing the skin ever so softly. Light as a feather. Before I even had time to process it, it was gone. But the memory of his mouth still lingered on my skin, tingling in the most pleasurable way. I sighed quietly, equivalent to that of a cat's content purr. Who knew minutes after screaming with terror would I now be the most comfortable I had been in months.

Did he have any idea how much the littlest things he did influenced me?

"Alec..."

"Hmm?"

"Please don't be mean to me tomorrow," I whispered so low I, myself, could barely hear me. "Don't try to make me hate you...I don't think I could handle it."

He was silent for so long I almost believed he had fallen asleep himself, were it possible. It was when I said his name again did he speak.

"Go back to sleep," he encouraged, never breaking away from his lock on me.

He neither said yes or no. But I'd have to take my chances.

I closed my eyes, knowing even before going under that I would have no more nightmares. At least not tonight. Not when I felt as safe as I did now.

I wasn't sure if it was my own thought, or if I was already dreaming again. I was too comatose to be the judge. Either way, somewhere from a distance, I heard:

_In my arms, I keep her safe._

Waking up the next afternoon (and I knew this by glancing at the alarm clock on the nightstand) was one of the most awkward morning afters I had ever experienced. And we hadn't even had sex. We hadn't even made out. But yet, there we were. Both of us lying there, saying nothing. I didn't look at him, and he didn't look at me. Sometime during the night, I must have shifted, because I was on my back, but he was no longer within touching distance.

I tried not to be upset over that fact.

"Thanks..." I muttered underneath my breath, heat burning my cheeks. As I sat up.

"For what?"

"Last night.."

"Don't mention it..." He replied, sounding a thousand miles away. I tried not to be upset over that fact either.

I should have expected as much. He was pulling himself away. At least he didn't seem to be insulting me. Maybe he was taking my request from last night into consideration. That must have meant something, right? Still, I was never one for silence. There was a reason I talked so much.

Where as he was most likely regretting comforting me last night, I couldn't be more grateful. He didn't have to do what he did. I hadn't even asked him to. He just did. I didn't know what compelled him to to it. Maybe he just pitied me, I was so pathetic looking. Whatever the reason, I didn't regret it. I couldn't make myself regret it. It was stupid, I know. It's not like it was ever going to happen again.

I glanced at the alarm clock again. It was two-thirty. I had slept the day away. Surly Alec could have moved, gone back to his chair after I had fallen asleep if he wanted to. But he stayed.

This was overwhelming. This was...I hadn't prepared myself for this.

I couldn't lay in this bed any longer. He was making it too awkward for me.

"Oh!" I exclaimed aloud randomly, .

"What?" He asked, confused.

"We're not on the road! You didn't pour water on my face to wake me up like a douche. We're-"

"I'm not driving today. I called Ade. Our drive is going to be more difficult the closer we get to California. You understand.." He indicated to the window.

I followed his gaze, indeed understanding. I could see sunlight peeking through the edges of the dark curtains. It perplexed me that he called Adriel and I didn't wake up. Normally I was a light sleeper. I guess I had really fallen back asleep hard, blocking out everything else. I guess Alec's arms was the cure all for me. Oh, perfect.

"You check the forecast? It could get cloudy later?"

He shook his head, still avoiding eye contact with me. "No. Clear blue skies for the rest of the day."

Again, maybe this was dumb, but I wasn't disappointed we weren't going anywhere today. The idea of being stuck in a room with him for several more hours...wasn't so terrible. Well, unless he continued to show no enthusiasm whatsoever. I could see him drifting again, and I knew that unless I said something, there would be no talking at all. And no talking only made what happened last night even more awkward.

I remembered the feeling of Alec's lips on my forehead, and still questioned my sanity on whether or not it was real. But it had to have been. It was as if I could still feel it. And the tension in the room was too thick.

That must have been why he was so silent.

I sighed loudly, getting up out of bed. I glanced in the mirror above the dresser, horrified by the way I looked. I still have tear streaks stains on my cheeks, and even though I had gotten several hours of sleep, I looked exhausted. I went into the bathroom, washing my face, but not bothering with any makeup. I redid my ponytail, pulling it up higher on my head. It looked really sloppy, but I didn't care. I went back into the room, going to my suitcase. I pulled out a pair of striped blue pajama pants. I was only still wearing my over sized tee shirt, but I felt like my naked legs were somehow inappropriate.

As I put on the pants, I shook my head to myself. I was a low cut, show all skin kind of girl wasn't I? Since when did I care about being appropriate? Since when did I just want to lounge around in my pajamas?

Before you turned into Vanessa Wolfe. That's when.

I groaned in frustration and pushed that thought aside. I looked over at Alec again and he still hadn't even looked at me, but the crease of his brow I can tell he was in deep thought. I suddenly wondered if he was thinking about me. What he thought of last night and this..whatever this was between us. I'd like to think Alec was becoming my friend if anything but I knew Alec didn't do friendship. Much like I didn't do love. How strange it was that Alec seemed to love someone at all when he didn't seem to like even the mere idea of getting to know someone. Whoever he was in love with, she must have been someone quite special to get him to accept his feelings so willingly.

Seeing Alec move from the bed over to his chair, I had to fight of the feeling of more disappointment. Something is definitely not right. I moved over to my bed, and sat, facing him. His eyes never glancing near mine, He just simply sat and started writing in that book. That the tragic poem laid in.

"Are you writing another poem?" I asked, hoping to break this awkward silence we had going on. I figured if he wasn't mad about me reading the other poem, he couldn't be upset over me asking about another. It was only nature for someone to be curious. Right?

Instead of a voiced answer however, Alec just simply shook his head no. I narrowed my eyes and laughed bitterly. Confused as to why he was putting up that wall around him. I could practically feel it surrounding him, keeping me out. I wanted to get a sedge-hammer and pounding against the invisible force, but I couldn't. So I kept talking.

"When did you write that poem?"

Alec shrugged. "Yesterday night. While you were sleeping."

Whoa. I didn't think it was that soon. That means it was when we were at the B&B. On our famous honeymoon. I'm sure whom ever the focus of the poem was, she wouldn't be to thrilled to know he told someone we were married. I had so many questions about this mystery girl. Who was she? What was she like? Where was she now? Was that why Alec was so cold and filled with such darkness? He had lost his lover? I could see how that would make someone go a little insane. Loosing someone you love must be earth shattering, it always is in the movies at least and the way Jacob always talked about my Mom loosing my father that one time. How did he describe her in his absence?

Lifeless. The light that my mother had, was burned out and sealed shut that nothing, not even his presence could make go away. Not fully.

Although the theory seems legit, I knew deep down that Alec's problem wasn't because of a girl. It was Jane. She was his Jacob. And watching her die in front of broke something inside of him that could never be fixed. Though not being with the girl of his non-existent dreams also doesn't help any.

"Is she pretty?" I asked, biting my lip, scared of the answer, not knowing what to expect.

Alec finally looked at me with a annoyed expression. The light in his eyes from yesterday completely vanished. I mentally prayed for it to return. My fear of him being cruel must have been bigger then I thought. Because looking at him like this, it made my heart ache, the air in my lungs refusing me.

Please, Licorice. Please.

"Why do you want to know?" He said, dryly.

I looked down at my hands that fumbling around each other. Unsure of how to answer him when he was in this...funk.

"Curious."

"Well don't be. It's pointless to discuss her when you believe love is for fools?"

"Why would that matter? I can't ask?"

"No. you can't." he said sharply, then picked up the book and walked around me and threw himself on my bed.

My bed. Huh. Interesting. It's quite funny how there's two equally nice beds to lay on and yet Alec finds mine to be his choice of comfort. That act made me feel a little better but at the same time, made me confused. Was he being nice to me or not? Will he ever make up his mind?

"Why are you being like this Alec?" I asked, in a low voice that could come across as a whisper. I found myself crawling to be close to him, wanting to feel his body near mine. I sat back on my knees and looked at him. I mean really looked at him. His jaw was perfection. His creamy white skin only enhanced his features like his dark chestnut hair that was even more messy then usual as his head laid across my pillow. His rose colored eyes locked themselves on my face. Studying me. My guess as to why his hair looked the way it did was because he's been running his fingers through it a lot recently. Was he frustrated? Overwhelmed? The thing I didn't get was that Alec had no reason to be that way, not a reason that I could easily determined at least.

"I...I don't know." Alec said honestly. "I don't know how to act around you anymore."

my brows pulled together in confusion. Was I really that impossible to digest?

"Why can't you just be how you were last night?"

"I can. But in the end it wouldn't be the smart thing to do."

"So you think you have to be a asshole too me? Is that it?" I snapped, my voice getting louder as I asked to the question. Alec groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.

That's when it hit me. I was right.

Alec believes he has to be mean to me. Has to push me away to protect himself, or was it me he was protecting? I couldn't be sure. All I knew for certain was, Alec didn't want to be cruel to me. Not really. He feels he simply has no choice.

Some how though all the frustration and feelings I found myself doing the unthinkable. I reached over to where his head laid on my bed, and pulled his fingers from his face. Forcing him to look at me, cupping his cool marble face in small hands.

"Vanessa..." Alec whispered, closing his eyes and then opened them to gaze at me. His hands gripped on my own, while I kept holding his face.

His eyes told a million different stories. All ending with him being sad and alone to which mirrored my own life story. But where I have only lived one life however, Alec has lived thousands. Thousands of years of no dreams. No hugs, and no connection. Alec was a island of himself. And looking into his eyes, I knew. The reason behind the girl he loved not being here just didn't matter. As he said. Not because I found love to be for fools, but because she just wasn't. As tragic as that was he has accepted it. He longed for her, clearly but he for some reasons believes it wouldn't change a damn thing.

He has learned to except the tragic ends of his stories.

"Why must you hide from me?" I whispered, moving my thumb down Alec's cheek as my eyes bared into his, while his did the same for me. I felt as if every nerve in my body was ending. The only sound in the room was my racing heart, and our breathing. There was nothing else that mattered. Nothing but the two sets of eyes. Two red, and two brown and the simplest of touches.

The action of touching him, even in this innocent fashion made me burn for more. Yet it was not on a physical level as to why I burned but something inside of me melted. He had the strangest effect on me. He made me want so many different things, hell, he even made me want to feel. Every emotion that was possible to feel, and he made me want it.

Alec blinked twice and shook his head. Not moving away from me, but not looking at me anymore either.

"What do you want from me?" He asked, as I bit my lip.

"Honesty." I sighed, gracing my finger across Alec's button lip. "I just want you to be honest with me. Be yourself. I don't need anything else."

Alec rolled his eyes and looked away from, avoiding eye contact and then turned to his side, facing me, his finger ever so gently moved a loose strand of hair behind my ear. My eyes widen at the tenderness, but I didn't speak a word.

"Honestly?" I nodded. Smiling. "I want to know about you." He said, with a small smile. I narrowed my eyes at him, trying to see if he was playing me, but when he didn't make any snarky comment, I realized he was speaking the truth. In fact, I dare say he wishes to know me.

"There's nothing to tell really." I said laying back down the bed, facing him. My body not touching his, my eyes casting downward. I tried to think of things to tell him that were true. But everything would lead to suspicion. The reason why I feel free to ask Alec questions is because he allows me too. He openly said I can ask anything so long as it didn't have anything to do with Adriel. However, I forgot the part where I was suppose to share things with him as well. I forgot I also had to be open for discussion.

Shit.

My heart, at the mere mention of opening up to him anything honest and true broke out in racing speed inside my chest. My nerves in my body were shot. He had caught me off guard. After all the years of hiding Renesmee Cullen and lying about basically everything, I had become a pro. Or so I thought. Instead, it only took my Licorice to tap inside my head, crawl under my skin and just simply admit he wanted to know me. It was that honest answer that had me actually wanting to say something true for once. Having me want someone to actually know Renesmee Cullen again. It's been a long time since she's gotten to speak. But deep within I knew I couldn't let her out. I couldn't straight out say who I really was. I have to be two faced. Where I have demanded honestly and trust, Alec has to get the opposite in return. It broke a little part of me to just admit that.

"What's the matter?" Alec voice broke the silence that filled the room, his eyes turning form the usual hard, sneer to concerned with a slight hint of worry. His eyebrows pulled together as he moved a strand of hair from my face, tucking in behind my ear.

What was with him being so...conflicting to my emotions?

"I wish I could tell you everything." It took me a moment to realize that I was actually speaking. And to my surprise it was the truth.

And my chest felt like I lift a huge brick off of it as air raced back into my lungs.

"But you can't." It wasn't a question.

I shook my head.

"It's not that I don't-"

"What's cake taste like?" Alec asked, randomly his eyes generally showing interest. I looked at him puzzlingly, and Alec chuckled. I must have been looking at him like he grew a second head, because Alec then reached over, and rubbed his hand down my face as if to wipe off the expression. I bit my lip and giggled.

I freaking giggled.

Will I ever not be surprised by him? I hope not. With the way things are going, I feel like I could keep him forever.

"Cake?"

"I've never had it. Was turned before they got around the invitation. I always wanted to know. Everything, taste like dirt."

Oh my Licorice. I'm beginning to understand you more and more. I thought it would be hard to uncover Alec, but the more he talked about sleep, and living too long, and what cake taste like, I'm beginning to get it. Or at least I think I did.

Alec misses his humanity.

Such a strange revelation for me to discover. In the beginning of all this, I had thought someone like Alec would love being immortal. With his attitude towards me, and his cruel, almost monstrous persona was enough evidence to convince me. However the man—this vampire made missed his beating heart.

"Cake...tastes sweet. And soft. Fluffy kind of. It's warm and moist in your mouth, sometimes if it's just out of the oven it can melt on your tongue or fall apart when you cut into it. The icing makes the cake though. And it depends on how it's made, on what the icing taste like. It can be rich. Creamy."

And that's how the rest of the day proceeded. He'd ask me about food, and I would describe it to the best of my ability. When asked about the worst food in the world, I started to laugh. Instantly, Jacob's famous mac and cheese came to mind. I told him as such, explaining how I had been gagging just at the sight of the chunky buttery goodness. It was the worst mac and cheese I had ever seen.

He joined me in laughter, till finally his eyes turned intense, which only made my heart flutter in my chest.

"What..?"

"Who are you?" He asked, reaching over and caressing my cheek softly with the pad of his thumb. I looked at him, puzzled. What kind of question was that? Wasn't I who I said I was? Well, sort of, at least.

In that second, I was beginning to panic a little. He was looking at me as though he could see my soul, his eyes staring right through me. Had he caught on to the act? Did he somehow find Renesmee staring back at him?

"What do you mean?"

"Your face...it lights up when you talk about Jacob." He whispered. "It's as if you love him."

"I did.."

"I caught two contradictions in that sentence," he said. "One, you're talking about him in the past tense, even though you're so convinced he's alive-"

"Alec.."

"And two, you said love is for fools."

I turned my head away, staring at the wall. Were we really back to this again?

"It is for fools...just drop it, please?" I pleaded, border-lining on desperation. My heart was picking up its pace, sending my body into shock.

"I can't.."

"Why not?" I snapped, getting angrier and angrier as this conversation kept recycling over and over. I wanted to hit him, scream and luck myself in the bathroom and pretend that I had never found that damn poem. Pretend that Alec didn't love anybody. Pretend that I didn't love anybody. Love didn't exist it all. Done deal. No one is hurt. No one dies and no one suffers.

"Because I've seen love. I know the good in it."

"I seriously doubt that."

"Just listen," he sighed, taking my face in his hands, gently forcing me to look him straight in the eye.

Close. Very..close. I could feel the air from his mouth touch my face. I wanted to sink into him and bring my mouth to his, to breathe his words.. I'd never been this close to him before. Never really considered it. Not like this. It was intimate, and yet it wasn't at the same time. I had never felt like this with anyone but Jake, and even that was different. With Jake I felt comfort, but with Alec I felt like I was on the edge of something. Like someone had spun me around and I had no idea which direction I was going, but I wasn't afraid to travel the unknown. As long as he was here. I would be okay.

"I have seen it. And it is rare for vampires, I'm not going to lie. And it's scary...but it has to be worth it. Love is not blind, Vanessa. It's the purest gift we have on this earth, the only thing that makes sense. No matter how much you run, it's going to follow you. And you know what? You're going to want it someday. When it's right, you'll want it. And you're going to finally be able to see everything for what it truly is.."

His voice was so soft as he whispered this, as if it were just our secret. Alec did always seem to have a way with words, and hearing him speak these almost made me want to believe him. Not only that, but it also made me want to love him. Hell, maybe apart of me already did love him. I wouldn't know. But I did know that since I met Alec, the darkness started to make a little sense. More clear. Bright. It was all because of him.

"Who did you know that had love like that?"

I expected him to say himself, naturally. I expected him to open up to me about the girl from the poem and why she wasn't with him now. What had happened to separate them. I wanted to know, more than anything, who held his heart. How they had done it. And most importantly, who showed him love. I wanted to see it for myself.

But being how he is, he never said the things I wanted him to say. Instead, he turned my world upside down with just one sentence.

"This couple I knew..." He said, his brow furrowing.

"Well, who were they?"

"Their names were Edward and Bella."

* * *

><p><strong>Writer's Note: So, what did you guys think? Pretty simple chapter, but the ending there is sure to cause some conflict, right? Thank you guys were the reviews! You're awesome. Hope you're not too pissed at us. In general, thanks for sticking with us. We haven't given up.<br>Anyways, please review and tell us your thoughts.  
>-IITM<strong>


	10. Chapter X: Exposed

**Disclaimer: We don't own Alec and Renesmee, for reasons we still don't understand. That doesn't mean we can't pretend and pull on the strings of their puppets, though. Happy reading, darlings!  
>-Cee and Tiff {IITM} [Please read author's note at end of chapter!] <strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter X: Exposed <strong>

_'And they lived happily ever after,' she finished, closing the book and placing it on my nightstand. _

_I sat quietly on her lap, curling comfortably against her. I didn't want the story to end, even if I thought it was a little bit silly towards the end. _

_'Momma, why did that glass slipper fit only Cinderella? Wouldn't there have been some other girl with the same shoe size as her?' I asked. _

_Momma smiled, shaking her head slightly. 'Well, maybe since the shoe was magical, it could only fit her." _

_I sighed, thinking about this. I guess that made a little sense. But it still seemed silly. Why didn't the prince go and look for Cinderella himself? Why did he send his servants for him instead? It didn't seem like he really wanted to find her that badly if he didn't even leave his own castle! _

_I heard Daddy chuckle from the doorway. _

_'How smart you are, Renesmee. I, for one, would have gone to the ends of the earth to find the girl I loved….really, Bella, you read her Cinderella? I think Beauty and The Beast would be more fitting.' _

_I leaped from Momma's arms and into his, practically flying across the room. He caught me, grinning ear to ear. _

_'Tell me that one, Daddy. Please?' _

_He sat us in the chair facing my bed, where Momma was still lying, rolling her eyes playfully. He cleared his throat. _

_'I don't know how accurate I'll be in retelling this. It's been a while. And grant you, this is the Disney version but I'll try my best.' He took another moment then began. "Once, there lived a prince-" _

_'Another prince? Is there always a prince?' I sighed. They were always the same.  
><em>

_Daddy laughed harder. 'Well, see, this prince isn't like Prince Charming. This prince was selfish. Vain. Not a nice person at all.' _

_Oh. Well, this was a little better. _

_I nodded, and he went on. His fingers roughed up my curls slightly. They were the same color as his hair. I loved that. _

_'And one day, this…rather ugly woman came to his castle, offering him this rose in exchange for shelter. I suppose it was very cold outside. And the prince, repulsed by her appearance, turned her away. But then the old woman transformed into a beautiful young woman, and he at once apologized. But it was too late. She put a curse on him, turning him into a monstrous beast.' _

_'What kind of beast?' _

_'Very big. Lots of fur. Large teeth.' _

_'Like Jacob!' I giggled, picturing his large wolf. This story was getting even better. It definitely made more sense then that stupid Cinderella story Momma told me. _

_'Exactly!' _

_'Edward..' Momma laughed, sitting on my bed. Her long brown hair looked black in the dim lighted room, and her pale white skin was practically glowing as she smiled at my father. _

_'So, she turned him into a beast and gave him a magical rose. She told him that he had to find a girl that could fall in love with him before the last petal fell. One girl that could look past his appearance as a monster. If he could, then the curse would be broken and he would be handsome again. But rose died before he could find this girl, then he would stay a beast forever.' _

_'It would be like Jacob staying in his wolf form FOREVER?' I gasped, thinking of him always like that._

_It would be hard for him to fit in. And we would have a hard time talking. I mean, I could talk to him all I wanted. But how would Jacob talk to me? Maybe Daddy could translate like he always does? That could work. But I'm sure the fleas Aunt Rose is always talking about would get very annoying for him. Poor Jacob. _

_'That prince is in trouble.' I said, nodding. _

_'Indeed. Well, meanwhile, there is this beautiful girl named Belle-' _

_'Belle? Daddy, is this story about Momma?' I asked, tilting my head. If the beast looks like Jacob, and if Momma is Belle- _

_'Renesmee, don't even think about that. No. It's not about Momma. Not to say that your mother isn't beautiful. It's just a story. Jacob happens to look like a beast and her name happens to be Belle. That's all…okay?' He asked, sounding a little desperate. _

_I nodded, hiding a smile. _

_What was I thinking? Jacob and Momma. Gross. No wonder Daddy was freaking out of me even thinking about that. _

_"Exactly. So, Belle has this nutty father who went away on a trip for reasons I forget, but he gets lost. And he ends up at the Beast's castle! Well, the Beast locks him up. And Belle goes to rescue her father. And when she finds him, the Beast offers to let her father go, if she takes his place as prisoner.' _

_'He kidnaps her!' _

_'Well, not really. She agreed to it, to save her dad.' _

_'It's still wrong, Daddy.' _

_'Yes, not the nicest of things to do. But see, he's secretly hoping that she'll love him so his curse will be broken.' _

_I frowned. This Beast really was selfish, wasn't he? It was all about him. And his stupid curse. Who cares if Belle is trapped? How in the world is she supposed to fall in love with him if he's so mean? But at the same time, this prince does seem a little better than Prince Charming, who did nothing but order his servants to do his work for him. The Beast does seem to try. Maybe he's just really scared deep down. Of never being loved. Maybe it's not all about his looks. He just wants a friend. To have someone forever. _

_Daddy smiled and continued on with the story. I got more and more excited when he revealed that the Beast was getting nicer, and Belle was starting to care for him. But then, Daddy said something horrible. That completely ruined everything. _

_The beast let her go. _

_'It was how he really showed how much he loved her. When he let her go.' He explained, laughing at my panicked expression. _

_'But that doesn't make sense! If he loves her, he should be with her!' _

_Daddy sighed. 'He did want to be with her. But he believed that she wished to be home. So because he cared about her, he set her free.' _

_'But that's not what she wants. She only left to save her father! She loves him too. She should have told him that before she left!' I pouted, suddenly disliking how Beauty and the Beast was ending. What a load of crap. _

_He laughed. 'So stubborn, Renesmee. Don't tell me you're going to grow up to be a hopeless romantic.' _

_'If two people love each other, they should be together and…live happily ever after…right?' I asked. _

_'It should be that way, yes. But it's hard for a lot of people to tell each other how they feel sometimes. They're scared. Or confused. But in the end, Belle did tell him she loved him. And guess what?' _

_'What?' I asked, my arms crossed. I pouted as my mother continued to giggle at me and Daddy._

_'The curse was broken. They kissed, and danced, and got married, and I'm sure had lots of children.' _

_'Really?' _

_'Really.' _

_I looked at Momma for confirmation. She nodded, smiling. I got up off Daddy's lap and climbed into bed. My father kissed me on the forehead, making me feel safe. This story was confusing. But at least it had a happy ending. As all stories should. _

_'Momma?' I asked, followed by a yawn. Daddy left us alone to see what Uncle Jasper and Uncle Emmett were doing. _

_'Yes?' _

_"What happens to the people who don't live happily ever after?' _

_She paused, frowning. She stroked the side of my face, pushing the hair back. I closed my eyes, feeling sleepy all of the sudden. There was nothing better than feeling my momma push back my hair like she was doing now. _

_'They find happiness in what they can. And then, maybe someday, they'll get another chance at their good ending." _

_'Did you find your happy ending, Momma?' I asked, yawning. _

_She laughed lightly, kissing my forehead as well. "Yes, I did. And you will too. But be prepared, you might have to fight for it.' _

**xXxXx **

I sat, crouched in the bathroom. The walls were an ocean blue color. The theme of the pictures on the wall were seashells. Not really sure how I ended up in here. Sometime after Alec uttered the names of my late parents, I'm sure.

I didn't know how to respond to it. I couldn't respond, even if I wanted to. And there was no way I was going to cry in his presence again. So, confused and threatened by tears, I ran into hiding. I had locked the door, even if it was pointless against his strength. But he hadn't broke in, respecting my privacy, although extremely appalled. He knocked and knocked, asking what was wrong, sounding very distressed and confused.

I should be the one confused.

How did he know them? Sure, a lot of people were familiar with the Olympic coven, because of how large they were. And because of Carlisle. But still, something about it seemed off. He spoke of their love, like he had personally witnessed it. Was he a friend of the family? Alec did not strike me as someone being friends with the Cullen family. Not at all. He must have just crossed paths with them, and knew of their deaths.

Yes. That was it. And he had no idea that I was their daughter. He just innocently brought it up as a reference to inspire me to believe in the power of love.

What a perfect reference, indeed. Their great love. Their vulnerability. Their ashes in the wind.

Happy endings. I sure screwed up their chances of living happily ever after, didn't I?

I covered my face with my hands, like this would keep me from falling apart completely. Would I ever be free from this guilt? This grief? Would there ever be a day when I could be happy and not haunted by their memory? Of Jacob? Of not feeling like I am the reason for their fatal ending?

The tightness in my chest was suffocating. I wanted to escape. From myself and reality. Most of all, from Alec. This was hopeless, of course. There would be no escaping him, physically or mentally. I knew even if I had the slightest chance of escaping him, he would still steal my every thought. But I couldn't think about Alec and how he effected me right now. I couldn't think about him and how I had recently discovered I might actually like him.

What happens from here? Do I open the bathroom door, paste a smile on my face and act like nothing was wrong? He was too smart for that. How did I explain why I was upset without revealing the whole story?

I couldn't.

Why did he even have to say their names at all? We were fine. More then fine. We were having fun. Now? Now it's not fun. Now I can't keep his voice echoing their names from my head.

"Hersheys, please talk to me." He pleaded, sounding desperate. "I swear, I wont mention the "L" word again. Just…come out of there."

He assumed it was the topic of love that had driven me into the bathroom on the verge of tears.

No…he's not dumb. He knows it has something to do with them. It was pretty obvious. Almost as soon as the names were off his lips, I had shut down. He's just being tactful. Not wanting to upset me further by mentioning them again. Being polite.

Alec being polite. The strangest things were happening now and days. And it was the truth. Weirdest of all, I realized I hadn't cried so much as I had in these past couple of days spent with Alec. I don't know what it was, but somehow being around him seemed to trigger aspects of my old life. Seeing what looked like Jacob, the dreams, my parents names casually coming up in conversation.

Deep down, apart of me feared that there was a reason for this. That all of this wasn't just coincidence, that his knowing my parents was something to maybe worry about. But what was there to worry about, really? Besides the fact that if he knew them, then he might know about their daughter? But he would never suspect that I was a Cullen. Would he?

"I'm going to break down this damn door if you don't answer me," said the all too familiar dominant, pissed off voice I was use to. The one that up until several hours ago, was the only tone I had heard in his voice. It actually brought a smile to my face, because in some twisted way, I kind of missed it.

I got up, opening the door slowly. Alec's hands were tightened into fists at his sides, looking like they really were prepared to break down the door if that was what he needed to do. I sighed lightly, smiling the best to my ability.

I just couldn't dwell on it. Act normal. Maybe he'd go along with it. Besides, I was sick of feeling depressed. Sick of crying. Sick of feeling sorry for myself.

"I had to pee," I joked, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Don't tell me you were actually worried, Alec. I might start to think you care about me. Wouldn't want that.."

He stared at me, his face hard as stone. He looked…angry, for reasons I was totally unaware of.

"…What?" I asked, feeling slightly uncomfortable now.

"Nothing. Nothing at all.." He shook his head, scoffing under his breath.

I nodded, reaching over to turn on the TV. I skimmed through channels, too fast to really see what was on. I just wanted to find a way to distract myself from thinking. If I started thinking, I was just going to find myself right back in that bathroom.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah," I shrugged, half smiling. I finally stopped on a channel.

"What are you watching?"

"I don't know.."

"Then why did you stop on this channel?"

"I don't know."

I tried to watch TV. The show looked like something from the discovery channel. A tiger hunting on some hyenas or something. I had no interest whatsoever in this show. The voice-over guy sounded like he was fifty. So, I flicked the channel, randomly pressing numbers as Alec came and sat beside me, not uttering a word. I turned it to the Disney channel. The moment I saw what was being advertised, my eyes grew wide. And my heart pounded.

_Beauty and the Beast._

Isabella Cullen's voice rang in my ears. The memory shoving itself back into my head like a nightmare.

_"What happens to the people who don't live happily ever after?'_

_'They find happiness in what they can. And then, maybe someday, they'll get another chance at their good ending.'_

Without me even realizing it, the remote was thrown at the wall behind the TV. My breathing transformed into panting. Alec jumped from the couch just then, his arms grabbing me by the shoulders.

"What the hell, Vanessa?" He growled.

I shoved him away. My head was going back to that night. Their faces emerging into my head. My mother looking beautiful and in love. My father...he had the same color hair as me.

"Vanessa!"

I shook my head.

"Air...I need air." I said, flying out the door.

The cool evening air hit my face as I stormed out, and I breathed it in deeply. I was practically pulling my hair out with my fingers. My black hair. My unnatural black hair. My body was on fire as tears fell down my cheeks. My breath turned to fog in the outside air, I stared at it while trying to calm myself down.

Focus. Breathe. In. Out. In.

"Hershey! Where are you going?" Alec was following.

Of course, he had to follow me. I couldn't just a moment of peace. Then again it was kind of sweet that he didn't want to leave me alone. Why he was being sweet when I was having a meltdown, I will never know. I didn't even know if I wanted to be by myself now. I just knew that everything was spinning and my skin felt like lava. I had no idea where I was going. There was no plan behind my escape out the hotel room. Just to walk. That was the goal. But as soon as I saw the hotel pool around the corner, surrounded by a black iron fence, I knew what I needed. So, I started taking off my shirt. I didn't care if Alec saw me. I needed a dive.

"What the actual fuck?"

"I need to cool down." I said, throwing my shirt on the pavement, making a trail as I opened the gate. My bra quickly following the action of my shirt as Alec started picking up my items of clothes as the fell like there breadcrumbs from another fairy tale.

Stupid stories. Stupid Grimm Brothers. Stupid happily ever afters.

I hate them all.

"You can't do that! Have you lost your mind? We're in a public place!"

I got to the edge of the pool. Sliding down my pajamas, I completely ignored my traveling partner. I dipped one toe in. It was freezing cold. It was perfect.

Once my pants were completely down along with my panties, I kicked away from me. I glanced back at Alec who shielded his eyes from my bare body, my clothes tucked securely under his arm. I couldn't help but laugh. He was such a stick in the mud.

This was exactly what I needed to do. I needed to do something extreme. I needed freedom. I would usually find a guy if something like this were to happen. I would have a distraction. But I had no one willing with me. So, I had to do something else. Skinny dipping was always on my to-do list. Though clearly it wasn't on Alec's.

Spoilsport.

"Would you calm down? I'm just going for a swim."

"In your birthday suit!" He exclaimed, his body rigid. His tone was angry.

I rolled my eyes and looked down at my naked form and then around the pool. No one was here. Everything was so quiet that I could hear crickets in the nearby grass. The only ones who would see would be me and Alec. Then again, Licorice did always complain about my looks. Maybe I was making him want to gag. Well, it was already too late now. With one quick gasp, filling my lungs with oxygen, I raised my arms above my head and dived head first into the chlorine filled water. My body shivered as the water swallowed me whole, going into a slight shock as it hit me. But it felt amazing.

I wasn't consumed by that panicking feeling that was taking me over. I felt like I could breathe now.

"Oh, c'mon!" I heard Alec hiss as I was coming up for air. I stood on my tiptoes at the deeper end of the pool. The water came up to my chest. I pushed the hair back from my face and rubbed my eyes.

"If you look, I promise you won't turn into stone. You can't even really see anything now." I called out to him in a challenging voice, swimming closer to the edge of which he stood.

"And that matters why…?" He asked, his eyes still clenched shut. "The fact still remains the same. You are naked. Outside. In public."

"And do you see anyone around?" I raised my arms above my head.

"Yeah, ME!" He hissed.

"Listen, I know you're like, repulsed by me but-"

I was cut off by his abrupt fit of laughter, and if he got any louder, I was sure he would wake up the humans. And he accused me of disturbing the peace. What the hell was so funny to him? It's not like this was news or anything.

"Why are you laughing?" I asked.

"Because we're stupid.." He said, his voice still chuckling.

"We?"

"Well, mostly you.."

I didn't know what he was getting at. The boy baffled me more times than I could count. I mean, it wasn't he first time he'd called me stupid, so I wasn't too offended by this. Yet at the same time, it was annoying the way he was laughing for no reason. And he still had his damn eyes shut like a virgin!

"You wanna open your eyes and say that to my face?"

"No."

"You know what I think?"

"What?"

Crap, I didn't know what I thought. I just said that so I could sound smart. So, at the top of my head, I said the first that came to mind.

"I think you're a coward."

"No shit!"

…Wait, what?

"You weren't supposed to agree with me! You were supposed to say something snaky, so I could insult you again. And again. It's what we do!" I protested.

His laughter returned. "I thought we were on civil terms, Hersheys. Being nice to each other. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Yes…no…" I muttered, looking down into the water. Why were things suddenly taking an awkward vibe?

"Well, which is it? Am I to be nice, or am I to be a dick?" He asked, now pacing back and fourth, which looked kind of funny since he eyes were closed.

"I don't know…shit happens when you're nice." I said quietly, not liking where the conversation was taking us. Not liking it at all. The insides of my head were screaming, abort! Abandon pool. Duck for cover!

These inner monologues never seemed to lead to good things. Last time I heard this warning, he ended up making out with my neck and I landed myself with a hickey.

Oh no. What was happening?

"Oh? Pray tell me, what happens?" He asked, his voice gone up a slight pitch, like he knew the thoughts in my head before I even thought them.

"What?" I asked, my head tilting a little.

"Don't 'what' me! What happens when I'm nice?" He demanded.

"You know what happens when you're nice! Don't play ignorant."

"Well, I'm just playing your part!"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

He finally opened his eyes, shaking his head down at me. I stared back up at him, looking into his eyes that boiled like red lava. It seemed to seep into my skin, causing heat to flood to my face, despite the chilly waters in which I stood. I could see his Adam's apple move across his throat, looking like he had just gulped.

"Do you really not have the slightest clue?" He asked, and I realized as I watched him that the expression on his face was one that I had never really seen on him before. Something behind his eyes. Like…a curtain had been lifted, revealing what's never been seen before. Only problem is, I didn't know what it was that I was witnessing in him. What it was that was finally coming into view.

"I guess I don't."

He squatted down the same time I neared closer to the pool's wall, both of simultaneously gravitating closer to each other.

"Do you ever wonder why I try so hard to be mean to you? Why I didn't want you to go on that Ferris wheel? Why I let you hold my hand on more than one occasion? Why I was so angry when you ran away from me?

"Umm.." Even the warning voice inside my head was completely silent at this point, listening just as intently as I was. Although so very, very confused.

"Does it all seem to escape your notice? Have I not slipped so many times?"

"What's escaped my notice, Alec?" I asked, recognizing the desperation in my voice.

"That I want you!" He exhaled in one breath, his hands raised in exasperation. "That you tempt me constantly in every little thing you do."

My heart was nearly vibrating inside my chest. I spoke before I even had a chance to think.

"No…no, you don't. You think that my nose is too long, you…think I'm as low as dirt. You-"

"I'm a good liar, Hersheys. Like you are."

My head span wildly in circles, not for one second wanting to let myself believe anything he was saying was true. How could it be? I had based so much off the things he said to me. His harshness and his distaste for me was the one thing that held me back from fully accepting the fact that I really, really liked him. And was ruining that by teasing even me even more.

The bastard!

"Who do you think you are, playing with my emotions like this? Are you really that cruel? I asked you not to be mean to me, I told you I couldn't handle it! And here you are, mocking me, telling me these wonderful things. And in a minute, you'll start laughing and…how could you?"

So here I was, ranting out my feelings like the fool I was, standing naked in a pool. One second, Alec was above me, and in the next, he was in the pool, standing right smack dab in front of me. I jumped, gasping as I realized the proximity of my naked body to his clothed one.

This…I had not been expecting this.

He took my face in his hands, insisting that I had his full attention. He didn't need to try hard. Just him here only inches from me was enough to get me alert.

The heat in my face intensified at his touch, and rapidly spread throughout the rest of my body, infusing me. His eyes were suffocating, hypnotizing me into silence.

"No, listen to me.." He said. "I care…I care more than I should."

I shook my head. "That's insane. You don't even know me."

"I know you better than you realize, because we're the same. Just on different ends of the spectrum."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that we both spend our time trying to block out the world, only we use slightly different methods. And the crazy part about this whole thing, is that I find myself wanting to…"

"Open up?" I finished for him, taking a stab in the dark.

"Yes, and opening up to you, though I want to, is something I can't do."

"Why not?"

"Because I've had some things set in motion before I ever met you…"

"The deal you made with Adriel?"

"Yes, and I can't back out now."

"Not that I believe you, but if that were true, then what's the point of telling me all this?"

"Because I want to be your friend. I want you to know that there is someone that cares about you, even if it's for a limited time. I want you to know you could tell me when something is wrong. So tell me, Hersheys, why are you diving in the pool naked? Why are you freaking out? We were talking just fine and then—" He paused, searching for the right words. "I'm worried. I'm trying to not, but it's not something I can control." He said, his thumb caressing my warm cheek.

I felt like I was watching a movie from afar. This is not happening to me. Not with us. This was another couple in a pool, declaring their emotions and worries. Declaring that they actually care. Not us. Never us. We weren't like that. But when I looked into the seriousness of Alec's eyes, I knew. It was us. We were the couple. And everything I thought to be true, all the insults he told me, the looks, the taunts...He lied to me. He lied and he desired me. But how much? How much could he possibly want me? As much as I him? Possible. But if so, where would we go from here? How could we turn away from this and act like nothing happened? Which is what Alec was suggesting, wasn't it? He said limited time offer. And for some reason, the way he said that made me realize something.

One day, whether it be tomorrow, or the next...Alec was leaving me. He was going to drop me off with Adriel and he was going to turn around and disappear. And I knew one thing was for certain: I didn't want that. I don't think I could bare that.

But it was happening nonetheless. And nothing I could do would change that.

"I just...I can't-" I started to say something, but nothing came. Nothing that make any sense.

"It's about Edward and Bella, isn't it?"

I started to back away from him, trying to get air to come back to my lungs, but Alec held me still for a moment, then released me. His eyes made me immobile. He really was wanting me to confront everything, wasn't he? Well, I wasn't going to. I wasn't going to out every secret I have kept. Not to him. Not when he was going to leave me. And in the end, me opening up to him would be for nothing. Alec must of seen that this was a topic starting to make me panic, because he didn't press the subject. He instead just tried to calm the raging storm inside of me.

"It's okay...Hersheys. You don't have to tell me. I mean, I have my own secrets. Though I wont lie, I'm extremely curious." He grinned and cupped my cheek with both hands again, his cool fingers feeling strangely warm on my skin.

That's the thing about Alec and I. Why being more than friends would probably be our downfall. He had secrets, tons of them, no doubt. And I had mine. We admitted that. And both of us were curious. Personally, I was dying to know more about Alec. But you can't force someone to open up, and if you do have them open up, they always want you to do the same thing. And I couldn't do that. I wouldn't let Alec link between me and the Cullens because, even though I desired him, I could never let myself be completely truthful to him. It's like it was downloaded into my brain. So much that I could practically hear Jake's voice drilling it into me. Even as I stood here.

_'Don't tell anyone who you are. Never. Do you understand?' _

Yes.

_'What is your name?' _

Vanessa Wolfe.

_'That's a good girl. Remember that. It'll keep you safe.' _

"I am Vanessa Wolfe." I whispered to myself again, not realizing until after that I had said it aloud for Alec to hear. It didn't hit me until I saw his face with an expression of utter confusion and little mixture of...disbelief? But once I saw that in his eyes, he blinked a way and it was gone like the wind. I wondered if he thought I was crazy now. Here I was, naked chanting to myself that my name was Vanessa. In the hotel pool. Maybe he was right in the beginning after all. Maybe I did need help.

Yet another reason why Alec and I could never work. And it hurt to realize that. It hurt a lot. It was like a small part of me almost forgot who I was suppose to be. And had hoped that maybe, though all of this...but no. It was pointless.

"Your thoughts are so..." Alec closed his eyes, and when I looked at his hand on my cheek, I realized something.

He knows I'm lying.

Shit!

I kept forgetting that I unknowingly passed my thoughts to Alec. I did it without realizing it. How much had he heard this time?

I would have moved away from close contact with him, but he held me still. Not just with his eyes this time. But by his hands.

"It's fine, Hersheys, it-"

"No, it's not fine, Alec! How can it be? You don't know who I am! Not-

"You're Hersheys," He sighed. "And I'm Alec, and that is all that matters. Who we are now is all that matters. Not in the past. Not even five minutes ago. Just now."

"I don't know what that means.."

"It means you're my best friend, and that's who you are. And everything else doesn't matter."

There was no doubt that he was actually being sincere. And the softness in his voice, the affection in his eyes, the weight of this moment just made my heart drop. Being a best friend. Someone who you confide in and share experiences with. Someone who shares a close bond that you have with no other person in the world. I never thought I would be someone's best friend after Jake left. I saw no purpose for it. I didn't want friends. In my opinion at the time, I didn't need friends.

Now I realized just how desperately I craved real honest to goodness friendship. And the man standing in front of me was saying that I was his friend. I have his companion.

But how does friendship last when he's going to leave me? Just like Jacob? I didn't know what he planned to do after he left me with Adriel, but I knew it was extremely vital to him. Something he had been planning a very long time. So, it wasn't hard to see that whatever it was that he had to do would most likely take up all of his efforts and time.

Would I ever see him again? Then what happens to this so called friendship?

As I was opening my mouth, preparing to argue, he cut me off, already one step ahead of me.

"C'mon," he said, jerking his head towards where my clothes lay. "As your friend, I'm telling you to go get your clothes back on."

Oh, man. Once logic thinking swept back into my brain, I was suddenly feeling really embarrassed about the fact that I was completely naked, standing with the man I desired in pretty much every way possible.

What the hell was I thinking? Alec wasn't like all the other conquests I'd tried seducing. This hadn't even been about seducing him. So, I really did feel like a fool because he was on such a higher standard than all the other guys I'd been with. And here I was, making an ass out of myself. It's a good thing that he doesn't seem to be disgusted by me. It makes it a little more bearable.

Still. It does seem like a cheap move…and…damn.

"How can you even take me seriously right now? I'm…you know."

"Because I'm looking at your eyes."

"Just my eyes?" I couldn't help the slight teasing tone to my voice. Great, now I was flirting. I really was a slut. I just couldn't help myself, could I? I might as well have been nymphomaniac.

"_Trying_ to look at just your eyes."

Oh, damn. He was having impure thoughts too. About me. I couldn't wrap my head around it. Not with him. Every other male in the world? Yeah, I could expect them to check me out. Alec? No. I'd given up on the idea of him wanting me after the first time we met. Once hope resurfaced, I'd given up again when he laughed at me when I tried to kiss him. And finally, all hope was officially buried when he turned me down and made me feel like I was trash when I tried to sleep with him.

Of course, that was trashy, but it still made me believe there was no possibility ever of him feeling that way.

And now he was saying all these things to me and…yeah. Kind of makes one confused.

"I give you points for trying."

"Let's just go inside.." He turned around, pulling himself out of the pool. There it was. The signal that we couldn't talk like we were two people who were attracted to each other. We couldn't flirt. Not if we were going to be….friends.

And I wanted to have friendship. So, I couldn't let my attraction to him get in the way of that. He was more than his looks. More than his brilliant smile, his melodious laughter, his beautifully sculpted hands, his mouth that I wanted to taste, the V shape below his abdomen that had me salivating over. Not even the adorable birthmark on his hipbone could phase me. Nope.

I had to be in control of my urges. I had to view him in a different light. Even when he was a complete asshole, I still felt like it was harmless to lust after him because I knew it would never happen. But now? When he was someone trying to be my friend? I couldn't think that way, obviously. It wasn't harmless. Because now I realized he wanted it too.

But we were…friends.

With his back turned to me and out of the pool, I got out too. Under normal circumstances (meaning, if I were full human) the crisp air would send me into shivers. But I unnaturally felt comfortable, and the cool air felt nice on my wet skin. Out of modesty, even though he couldn't see me, I crossed my arms over my chest, concealing my hard nipples from the world. I glanced up at the windows of the hotel, making sure no one was watching me. It would be my own fault if they were.

Alec grabbed my clothes, particularly gentle when picking up my bra and panties. I swear, I saw his back muscles and biceps tense. Somehow, that movement made me bite my lower lip, a fluttering feeling emerging in my stomach.

He held his arm out from behind him, his back still turned.

"Thanks.." I swiftly took them, never so eager to put clothes on in my life.

He didn't say anything as I dressed, which made this all the more uncomfortable.

Once I informed him I was decent, he turned around, looking relieved, and we walked back to our hotel room.

Thankfully,_ Beauty and the Beast_ was no longer on TV.

I grabbed a towel out of the bathroom, wrapping it around my head that was full of dripping hair. I propped it on top of my head, aware of how silly I looked. I didn't seem to mind, though. Alec glanced at me and smiled but said nothing.

More silence.

I sat in a chair by the small table and looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand.

7:14 PM.

Interesting. It felt a lot later than that. Much later. It's a good thing that it's winter and the pool is technically closed. The freezing temperatures of February obviously didn't effect me. It was also a good thing that Alec and I were one of the few people staying at this Motel 6. It was a pretty secluded area here in Indiana. I didn't even know the name of the town we were in. Just that there was nothing happening. Except, as Alec stated yesterday night, the fair and Dairy Queen.

The silence was interrupted by a loud growling noise. I looked up, automatically expecting the growling to be coming from Alec, but he looked just as perplexed as I did.

"Was that your stomach?" He asked.

I realized just as soon as he did that it was indeed my stomach. As if being smug that it was heard, it rumbled again, this time a lot louder, making disgusting noises.

I felt my cheeks tinge with heat.

"Yeah, I think so."

Alec frowned, his brow furrowing in disapproval.

"You haven't ate anything since yesterday morning, Hersheys. Don't you think this strike of yours is a little ridiculous?"

"I don't think so, no.." I shifted uncomfortably, an ache spreading throughout my abdomen. I could go a while without food, it was blood that I usually needed more often. But when I not consuming either? Things got bad, I guess.

"The strike is already broken. You had some of those Hershey's Bites." He said smugly.

Damn, he was right.

"Alec, I hate eating human food. I've never enjoyed it."

"Obviously you need it though. C'mon. We're going out and you are going to eat." His eyes narrowed warningly, making it clear that he didn't want any protesting on this matter.

"Friends don't try to intimidate one another." I pointed out, sitting back in my chair.

"Friends don't let each other stave, either."

"Then give me some bagged blood."

"I'm out."

"…Liar."

"Seriously, I'm out. You drank the last of it when you needed to heal."

I groaned, getting up out of the chair. "I don't want Dairy Queen. I refuse."

He laughed, and it never failed. The sound of it penetrated my inner workings and made me smile. My mood was lifting just like that.

"I'll look up on my phone to see if there's anything else in the area."

He did just that. After whipping out his iPhone and searching for restaurants near whatever town we were in (which he obviously knew) he pursed his lips.

"Greenwood is about twenty miles from here. Here are your options." He handed me his phone and I looked over the names of restaurants.

Wang Cai, Arni's Restaurant, Cheesecake Factory, China Dragon.

I hadn't heard of any of these places except The Cheesecake Factory. It's…where they made cheesecake, apparently. I saw previews for it on TV, it looked nice as far as restaurants go. It looked pricy, too.

"There's a Cheesecake Factory.." I said, shrugging. I handed the phone back to him.

"You want that?"

"Sure…"

He nodded, looking back down, no doubt to get the directions.

"Okay. Go get dressed."

After looking at the contents of my suitcase, I frowned. It was mainly filled with mini skirts, blouses that were not appropriate for a night out to dinner, some sweat pants and tank tops. I had three different dresses that could work. Sighing with relief, I took the first one, which was blue into the bathroom. After glancing at myself in the mirror and cringing, I decided to take a quick shower to wash of the chlorine.

I put the dress on after, which was mid length and had spaghetti straps, and walked out back into the bedroom to find some shoes. To my surprise, Alec was holding one of the other dresses that I owned in his hands. I paused, staring at him.

"What are you doing?"

"I like this one.." He said casually. I looked down to his hands to see which one it was. It was the black cocktail dress, the one where neckline covered the collarbones and all, but in the back it dipped down low, exposing all skin.

"But I put on this one.." I pointed to the one on my body. Alec studied the dress on me for a few moments, then shook his head.

"Would you wear this one for me?"

Something about the way he said that made my heart skip. Wear it for him. Like it was only for him and no one else. Did he have any idea how that sounded to me? Or was he totally clueless? My guess is the latter.

"...Okay." I took the dress with slightly shaky fingers and went back into the bathroom. I slipped it on over my head and approached him again after.

"Are you satisfied now?"

His eyes swept over the length of my body, from toes to head. His eyes must have had powers because I could damn well feel them on my skin, which was tingling. He swirled his finger, instructing me to turn around. I gulped and complied. My heart was bouncing in my chest now. So much so that when I glanced down to my chest, I could see the fabric of the dress moving slightly upon each beat.

I felt my hair shift from my back and realized Alec was tossing it over my shoulder so he could inspect the back of my dress fully. I bit down hard on my lip, shivering slightly at the cool touch of his hand on my shoulder. I shouldn't have been on such edge. So what if my back was bare? I had been naked minutes before in front of him.

Somehow, me with clothes on and showing him only a section of my exposed body seemed even more intimate. The hand on my shoulder lifted slowly.

"No…" He replied, his voice low and his breath coming in contact with my neck. I shivered a little. "I'm afraid I'm not quite satisfied…but the dress is lovely."

He stepped back, and I let out a gush of breath.

I knew exactly what he was implying without actually saying it, and I felt wet warmth accumulate between my thighs.

We're friends._ Friends._ FRIENDS.

"Friends don't talk like that .." I whispered, turning back around to face him. Call me over dramatic, but I just didn't quite qualify that as normal friendship banter. It was definitely flirting. Now, before all of this bull, I wouldn't of thought Alec was capable of flirting with me, but as he stated earlier, he wanted me. And clearly given this moment, I knew now this was flirting.

"What kind of friends do you want to be? The honest kind or the kind that walk around on eggshells?"

"I guess the honest kind?"

"Then I'm the kind of friend that says when I'm not satisfied. I'm only being truthful."

I stared in astonishment at how open he was about this recent discovery of our mutual attraction to each other. I had previously believed he would want there to be no mentioning of it, no flirting whatsoever, but it seemed that he was completely okay with being "honest." All the while maintaining a friendship. Was I the only one that saw the flaw in this logic? Or was I just over thinking it?

"Um. Okay, then." I blinked in confusion, switching weight from one foot to the other awkwardly, still not knowing how to handle all of this.

Alec had never been the predictable sort; and I always knew he was complicated. But now? It was challenge keeping up with him. Our relationship had just taken a giant turn, and I couldn't tell yet if it was for the better or worse. Sure, I was happy to have a friend, but like I thought earlier, how short lived is our friendship? I also wasn't even sure if I was capable of being a good friend anymore. Not to mention this sexual tension that immediately cranked up to the maximum limit, at least on my end. It was hard to focus on friendly feelings while picturing him naked.

Again, perhaps I was over thinking it all.

But he certainly wasn't.

"So, are you ready yet?" He asked casually, looking like he was preparing to walk out the door that very instant. Apparently the discussion seconds ago was already forgotten in his eyes.

"What? No, not yet." I shook my head, pushing away the confusion inside my head.

"What else is there to do? Get your shoes and we'll go."

"I have to dry my hair and do my makeup," I said, turning around to my cosmetics bag and hairdryer.

Now in front of the mirror, I began drying my hair. Alec stood in the doorway staring, looking extremely confused in that cute sort of way.

"What?" I asked.

"Why do you need makeup?"

I stared at him like he had grew a second head. Was he serious? I knew guys didn't know much about makeup, but wasn't it obvious that almost every girl felt naked without it? Wasn't it like a universal rule? He wasn't that stupid. Then again, I knew I was more attractive than most girls, but still…makeup made me feel normal. And there no way I was leaving this room without it.

He stepped into the bathroom, observing the makeup spread across my counter. He studied it as though it were some strange science project that was other worldly. He picked up an eyelash curler, his brow furrowing. I watched him, amused now.

"This looks like something you would torture someone with…" He stated. "What's it for?"

"Curls your la-"

In the trash it went. Literally, he just tossed it away like it was an old newspaper. I gaped at him in shock.

"Hey! What the hell? That is mine!" I shrieked as he was already reaching for something else.

"And this?"

"It's blush!"

"Hell no."

Again, he just threw it away. Who the hell did he think he was? Throwing away my things? I mean, I know I looked through his things but I didn't throw it away! I wasn't that horrible. People buy blush. It's no big deal. And when I asked him why he was doing this, he just looked at me in disbelief.

"You of all people do not need blushing. You're always blushing. I can just look at you, and you blush. And it's a lot more beautiful than this…this…bullshit powder."

I wasn't used to him how appealing I looked. I was still, in fact, waiting for him to tell me the joke was on me, like had so many times before. But now he was telling me I was beautiful. Or at least my blush was. Which was due to blood. So the color was nice? I don't know.

"You don't know anything about makeup!" I exclaimed, reaching to the trashcan to pull my discarded makeup.

Before I could grab them, he turned me around to face him. Already caught by surprise, I couldn't stop him when he effortlessly grabbed my hips and lifted me up on the bathroom counter. The action was so sudden it made me gasp, the air being knocked out of my lungs. I stared at him, trying to figure out who the hell this was.

Certainly not Alec.

"What are you doing?"

"Showing you how much easier this can be."

"Easier what can be?"

"Makeup," he said flippantly, picking up the foundation. "Now, what does this do?"

"It evens out your skin tone," I said. "What are you planning on doing exactly?"

"Evens out your skin tone?" He ignored my question, leaning in slightly to study my face. I held my breath as he got closer to me. Just an inch and his lips could be on mine. I could feel his breath on me, and wondered what exactly it was he was doing. He seemed to be looking for something.

"Yeah.."

"Your skin doesn't need to be evened out, in my opinion. Actually, it's just obvious." He shrugged. Like it was nothing being this close to me. "And to answer your question, I'm going to put on your makeup. Do it the right way."

"Oh, and I suppose you're a makeup artist now?"

"Are you?" He retorted.

"No…but I've been doing this longer than you."

"It's not rocket science, Hersheys. You said I don't know anything about makeup, and I'm here to prove you wrong. I can do just as well as you can."

I smirked. "You think so?"

"I know so."

I looked over the makeup again on the counter next to me, my mind summoning images of me looking like a demented clown that people run away from at Halloween. Or this girl I saw on youtube who was challenged to make herself look horrible by using makeup. She had way too much bronzer, put fake eyelashes over her eyebrows to make them look super bushy, and she even had a Marilyn Monroe beauty mark on her upper lip that looked like a big bug on her face.

Would Alec make me look like that? I mean, at least he combed his own hair _this_ morning, but that was a lot different than doing someone's makeup. I mean, we were going out in public for crying out loud. I didn't want to look like Ursula from _The Little Mermaid._

What if he poked my eye out?

"Please, Hersheys?" He said in a sultry voice that made my thighs clench together to comfort themselves and other parts. Damn, he was good.

"Do you really feel the need-"

"I do," he finished for me, picking up a big eye shadow palette.

"So, do I get to pick the-"

"No." He smiled pleasantly as I glared in return, hissing to show my annoyance. I think that only amused him more, though.

I was very specific in how I did my makeup. I had a routine. Very rarely did I go outside of the routine. I always started with foundation, which Alec stated he disapproved of. And blush. But there was one element that I was going to be adamant on.

"You need to put on eye shadow primer before you put that on," I instructed, nodding towards the pallet. Already seeing the protests about to come off his lips, I said: "It makes the colors more pigmented and prevents creasing. Plus, it makes it last longer."

"That sounds very critical," I didn't miss the sarcasm in his voice.

Doing my best to ignore him, I grabbed the primer and was in the process of unscrewing the lid when he snatched it out of my hand.

"I'll do that."

"You're crazy, you do realize this?"

"I never claimed to be sane, Hersheys." He smiled again, dabbing a tiny amount of primer on his finger. "Now, close your eyes."

I sighed, closing them. He rubbed the primer on my eyelid gently, and I was trying to get over how ridiculous this all was. If someone had told me a couple of days ago that Alec would be doing my makeup, I'd have died from laughter.

"What colors are you choosing?" I asked suspiciously, peeking an eye open after he was done with the primer.

"One of my choosing. Keep your eyes closed."

I obeyed reluctantly. After a moment of the dabbing, I heard Alec curse under his breath. So far so good. I hadn't lost an eyeball. But then again, it was only the beginning. And when I opened my eyes to peek, I saw Alec look at the colors of eye shadows as if he was reading a book. His face was all pouty and serious.

It was so cute.

I continued to watch, amused as Alec grabbed hold of the little brush that came with the palette. The impulsive need to control this situation was screaming in my head. No one had ever done this to me before. And even though the feeling of Alec's fingers tenderly touching my skin was pleasant, I was a bucket of nerves.

"Close..." Alec said, as he gazed up at me. His lips were slightly parted, with this tongue sticking out a little in concentration while he held up the brush to my face, waiting for me to close my eyes. I couldn't see the color on the brush and that drove me insane.

I closed my eyes and did a silent prayer. Then Alec started applying the makeup on my eye. Rather roughly and not at all delicate like he had before. In fact, it was kind of uncomfortable.

"Easy, Alec..." I whispered, cringing.

"Sorry.." He whispered, regret filling his voice as the motions became more gentle. The brush swept just below my eyebrow, and in the back of my mind I wondered what color he was using as a highlight. But really, the only thing I could focus on now was Alec's breath as it started hitting my face. He smelled good. Really good.

Then I started to wonder how much eyeshadow he thought I needed here. Geez, he was doing a lot of brushing on just one eye. I thought about saying something but I held my tongue. I was his project. Right?

After what felt like forever, Alec moved on to the other eye. And continued to move the brush around rather swiftly. Once I felt the eyeshadow almost hit my nose, I squeaked. My eyes opened wide, trying to wipe the substance from my skin.

"Shit, I'll get it. Hold on." Alec said, getting a wet wash rag and wiping away the unneeded makeup from my nose. So caught up in his movements, I had forgotten to tell him I had makeup removing wipes. I watched him, completely fascinated. My heart pounded as his red velvet eyes stared at me.

He really was something else when he wasn't mean. Again, the thought that I might be in love with him came to mind, but I pushed it away. Being in love would Alec would ruin everything and since I wasn't one hundred percent sure that I did in fact love him, I wasn't about to openly or self consciously admit it. For now, he was my friend. Doing my makeup. Straight guy friends do that, right?

Once the eyeshadow was off my nose, I watched Alec pick up the eyeliner. I looked at his expression, looking for an expression of confusion. But he looked like he knew exactly what that item was for.

Lord help me.

"Alec, that's-"

"I know what it's for." Alec said confidently, and held the eyeliner like a pencil or a pen.

I closed my eyes, not wanting to watch as I felt Alec starting to actually draw on the corner of my eyes. It felt like he was drawing a star shape or something. When he was done with that, he began to color it in.

What the hell?

"That's great, Alec, but that's for under the eye-" I stopped myself, instantly regretting telling him the truth because now he told me to open my eyes and look up.

My mind raced with pictures of bloody eyes and being jabbed with it. Even though I knew Alec wouldn't hurt me purposely, he had no clue how to use this crap on me. And I would be stupid if I thought my eyes were completely safe now.

Once he started putting the eyeliner on the bottom of my eye, I felt a little better about him doing this to me. Of course, the whole time I was blabbing like a moron because of my worries but Alec didn't jab me but once on both eyes. It didn't hurt too bad like I imagined. It just made my heart stop both times as panic settled in my body. He really was a pro though during the whole thing.

After putting down the eyeliner, very slowly as if it were a dagger, Alec then moved on to the lip gloss. He went for the closest color to my natural tone.

"We're going out to dinner. Go a little darker than usual." I instructed. Alec narrowed his eyes and then turned back to the choices. Not moving for a while. After a full minute had passed, I had to speak.

"Do you want me to-"

"I'll do it. You're mine to play with now. Just sit." Alec commanded, and my stomach twisted into knots at his words.

If only he would play with me like I wanted. Instead of being his personal barbie doll. Again, I had to wonder why he insisted on doing this. Makeup was not his thing.

_'Does it all seem to escape your notice? Have I not slipped so many times?' _

My eyes shot open as I replayed his words in my head.

Was this another slip?

Suddenly, Alec came with the lip gloss. It was a deep ruby color.

"Pout your lips like your going for a kiss..." Alec said, I couldn't help but snort. If he only knew how much I wanted to kiss him. But I couldn't. He was my friend. A friend who made it clear he wasn't looking for a relationship with me.

"Like this?" I said, puckering my lips dramatically.

Alec's heavenly laugh filled the room. His blindingly white teeth beamed at me, and the smile reached all the way to his eyes. It made them shine. Beautiful.

"No, no.. like this." He puckered his own lips and I mimicked him. He shook his head, his smile remaining on his pale face as he leaned forward and started randomly painting my lips with the gloss.

I was still jittery from the laughter, so much so that Alec kept messing up on my lips. His thumb came in contact with my skin and wiped cross the smudges.

I blinked. My heart started fluttering in my chest, and a strange warmth coursed throughout my body. We stared at each other in wonder. And suddenly the room grew hot. Because what I saw in his eyes? It was want. Uncontainable, unmistakable want. How could I had not seen it sooner? How could I have been so blind to it earlier? It was there. Showing right through his eyes for all the world to see, and I had missed it.

He wasn't looking right through me. But at me. Captivated. As if I was all he saw. The very thing keeping him from insanity. His eyes darted from my eyes to my lips and then back, as he licked his own.

It made me melt like chocolate.

"Look at us, Hersheys. Five minutes into being friends and already we're bad at it." He whispered, his nose practically touching mine. All I could do was nod in agreement, because he was right. We sucked.

"What am I to do with you?"

I shrugged, suppressing a whimper. Because I had a couple of things I wanted him to do with me. But I knew he and I both would regret that. I think.

Yes. We would regret that. Not because it wouldn't be good. I had a feeling it would be great, but in the end he would hate himself and I couldn't allow myself to be the reason for that. I wanted to be the one to make him laugh and smile. Not the opposite.

"You know, we should..um...you know...and eat...you know?" I muttered like an idiot. A deep blush rushed to my cheeks. I guess he was right. I didn't need to put on blush.

Alec then cupped my cheek with his right hand and leaned over, brushing his petal like lips across my forehead as he inhaled through his nose.

Did he just smell me?

Suddenly, Alec was back to fixing my lip gloss and before he was done, his cell in the room started ringing. It made him break apart from me as Alec went to go answer it.

"Hello Adriel." I whispered out loud bitterly as I jumped down from the counter. I heard Alec pick up the phone and whispered a greeting to the caller.

"Hey, Ade..." Alec's voice echoed in a hushed tone.

I should of bet money on it. I would have won.

Looking quite pleased with myself, I then turned around and finally looked into the mirror. I was shocked at who I saw staring right back at me.

It was freaking Tinkerbell.

Alec turned me into a damn fairy for our dinner date.

* * *

><p><strong>Writer's Note: Hey guys! Hoped you liked this chapter. Yeah...things are starting to transform, you could say. The secrets aren't fully out yet, obviously. But...some other things are coming out. Like *gasp* their feelings? No way.<br>Thanks for all the reviews you guys have given us! We read all of them. With that note, please leave another and let us know what you think!  
><strong>

**-IITM  
><strong>


	11. Chapter XI: Something

****Disclaimer: We don't own Alec and Renesmee, for reasons we still don't understand. That doesn't mean we can't pretend and pull on the strings of their puppets, though. Happy reading, darlings!  
>-Cee and Tiff {IITM} [Please read author's note at end of chapter!]<strong>  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter XI : Something<strong>

I couldn't believe I had allowed this to happen. I allowed a man who is old beyond time and knows nothing about makeup, to actually put it on my face. And what happened?

He turned me into pixie! On purpose, I was sure.

I just kept staring at myself over and over, thinking that I resembled a mythological creature from Neverland. It wasn't that I thought I was ugly. Actually, it was far from it. It was kind of beautiful, all things considered. And if it was Halloween and we were going to a party? There would be no doubt in my mind that I would make a killing at a contest.

But we were going out to a nice restaurant.. And even though I know I should wipe the crap off and redo it, I couldn't bring myself to touch what he had created. It would break his heart.

I mean, all and all I still looked like me. The eye shadow he had picked out at was a dark, glittery purple that sparkled in the light. There was also a little hint of green going on under my eyebrows but it was subtle. And of course there were hand-drawn stars in the corner of my eyes in black eyeliner. Just as I suspected. The rest of the eyeliner was a little light for my taste, and could definitely need more work. To top it all off, my lips were a dark ruby color that shined with the eye shadow. To be frank, it was obvious the person who did my makeup was a newbie. But I was kind of proud at what Alec had accomplished. For a guy it wasn't that horrible. Just different.

All I really needed was some wings on my back and I was ready to fly off to the unknown.

Without touching my face, I fixed my hair in a nice twist behind my head, gave myself an amused smile and went to get my purse. Once I was out of the bathroom, I could hear Alec talking to Adriel over the phone. Of course the topic was sex.

"How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not sleeping with her," Alec said, sounding frustrated. He was sitting on my bed, with the phone on his hand, his elbows resting on his knees. On hand covering his face. Once he heard me come in, he popped his head up and gazed at me from head to toe giving me one of those million dollar smiles. My heart instantly swelled at the sight.

Being a Fairy was so worth it for one of those smiles.

"_Oh, come on! You know you're hitting that, my friend. Don't try to lie. I can always tell." _I heard Adriel say on the other end with my vampire hearing.

Alec frowned and told me to turn around with one of his elegant fingers, pinning it into a circle. I wanted to suck on that finger. I don't even know why but I did. Badly. But instead of making a fool of myself, I did as I was told. It's much easier then fighting him on his controlling ways. And after seeing the expression on Alec's face when I twirled in a circle for him, I was glad. He looked like he had won the lottery. And I was his prize. His eyes smothering me as the want I saw earlier intensified.

Holy cow. I'm going to need panties soon of our friendship was going to be carrying on like this.

"We're friends. That's it...why- why are you laughing?" Alec hissed into phone, rolling his eyes.. Adriel was nothing but a fit of giggles on his side of the phone call. As soon as he heard the word "friend" come out of Alec's lips he was rolling in chuckles. And for once I understood Adriel's reasoning. Because so far we have gave no reason for Ade to think Alec and I would make good friends. Hell, we haven't gave each other good reasons to think it either.

I mean up until a couple of days ago, I was pretty sure I hated the bastard. Now, I wasn't sure I ever really did. How could I have? When I felt so drawn to him now. Like an end of a magnet to a piece of metal. I was pulled by some invisible force that just wouldn't let my feelings rest for a moment. The whole thing was so messed up given the situation. I mean by law of nature, I should be repulsed by him. He was still giving me away to someone. Even if I agreed to it, it was all kinds of screwed up. Though to be fair, I didn't know exactly what I was agreeing too. It certainly wasn't to have feelings for the guy giving me away to some unknown creature of the night.

No, me and Alec were dysfunctional. Even Adriel knew it.

"Listen, Hershey's and I are going out," said Alec. "I'll call you when she's asleep."

Adriel was too busy still laughing that Alec didn't even bother saying goodbye before hanging up. Once I had my black tiny purse in hand, we were on our way.

And I had to admit that I was looking forward to this dinner date. I mean how many fairies can say they're going to The Cheesecake Factory?

**XxXx**

"No way, you've been to a _Beatles_ concert? You of all people?" I asked, stunned. Shock clearly visible on my face as Alec continued to drive to the restaurant.

Alec and I had been non-stop talking since we got into his mustang. Which was weird since we've been so determined to keep ourselves hidden. But now that we both know how each other feels for the other? We were open books.

"Oh yeah, back before the Christmas shows in 1963. I was in London at the time, doing business with a friend of mine, who had a crush on John Lennon. So, we sneaked in the Regal after work."

"What kind of work did you do?"

Alec looked tense for a moment. I could tell instantly he was beating himself up over mentioning that little tidbit. His eyes focusing on the road ahead of us as his hands gripped on the steering wheel. His knuckles turning white. The fun was over. Alec and I had done this two different times since getting into the car. If it was a subject we didn't want to openly talk about, we wouldn't speak for several moments. And then change the subject. It may be odd to most people but it worked for us. We knew we had our secrets and we respected that. The downfall was it made me wonder. So much that I started making a list of things not to talk to Alec about.

One. Jane.

Two. His work in the past.

There was more, but those were the most important. I call the list unspeakables. He had a list and so did I. Though whether or not he was making a list for himself about me, I had no idea.

"Favorite_ Beatles_ song?" I asked, giving him a soft smile. Alec grinned, his body language becoming less stiff. He was relieved I changed the subject.

"Uh...Hmm…There's many."Strawberry Fields" is good." He said as he switched lanes, glancing behind him. "Eh, "Love Me Do" is also good. There's so many."

"Yeah. "All You Need Is Love", "Day Tripper", and who can forget, "I Am The Walrus"?" Classic stuff." I nodded. Alec barked a laugh. Clearly he knew the song. That song proved for generations that _The Beatles_ were on dope. "I can name them all day."

Alec gave me a weird look. A wicked smile forming his deep red lips.

"'Oh yeah? "Long Tall Sally," "Back in the U.S.S.R.," "I feel fine." Come on, Hershey's...name some."

I shook my head, amused. He was challenging me. Licorice liked games, it seems. I can't say I wasn't enjoying this side of him more and more.

"'Get back.' 'I Want To Hold Your Hand.' 'Twist and Shout.' Uh...'Hey Jude!'" I laughed. After we finally named about a hundred different songs, we got to the restaurant. The parking lot was packed from here to Mexico it seemed. For a second I wondered if it was even possible for us to get in this place without calling first. When we finally got a parking space, I expected us to jump right out and race to the doors. But when I looked back at Alec, he was stalling.

"Something," he whispered.

I looked at him, puzzled. "Hmm?"

"'Something,' it's my favorite Beatles song." He said, looking at me dead in the eyes, my heart singing in my chest. He held my gaze for a second longer and then got out of the car. I was paralyzed. My mind racing back to the song he had named. I knew the song by heart. Like I did most music. Given that I had sang in clubs for money in the past. It was how I got around. I could practically hear_ The Beatles_ singing it word for word and it spread a warmth throughout my body.

_'Something in the way she moves_

_Attracts me like no other lover_

_Something __in the way she woos me_

_I don't want to leave her now_

_You know I believe and how_

Alec was already around the car before I could even think to move. I was a singer by choice. And I understood that music connected to some people on different levels. To me, it was like air. Gravity keeping me from losing myself to the darkness sometimes. Every song I liked, I had a reason. So why did Alec choose that song of all _The Beatles _songs to like? Why was he making it difficult being his friend?

Opening my door for me, Alec lent me his hand and I grabbed it warily. I knew I should protect myself from him. Protect myself from the pain Alec would unavoidably bring me. But tonight?

I would welcome the pain. Just for tonight.

We received a thirty minute wait or so for a table to become available once inside. The place was packed. While waiting, I checked out all of the cheesecakes behind a glass counter. Even I had to admit, some of them looked really tasty. Alec stood beside me, hands in pockets with that rare approachable vibe coming off of him. Just like he'd been with that little girl at the fair. It was as though I could have reached over to hold his hand, and he wouldn't oppose.

After being informed our table was ready, the host led us up a marble staircase, up to the upper level of the restaurant. We were seated at a booth.

"Your waiter will be with you shortly," she said, handing us our menus.

Thanking her, I looked down at the menu, and flipped through it. I realized that this thing could have been a mini book. It was the biggest menu I'd ever seen.

"Anything look appetizing?" I joked to Alec.

"Not on the menu, no." He smiled in return.

"Speaking of…when was the last time you fed?" I asked, peaking at him over the menu.

"Well, since you drank the last of the bagged blood-"

"You know what I mean. When you _fed._"

"Why do you ask?" He seemed surprised at the question, his brow furrowing and lips forming into a frown.

I shrugged. "I don't know…it's weird. I just, for some reason, I can't picture you…"

"…Feeding on humans?" He said in a lower voice that no one else could hear. "Why is that hard to imagine? It's instinct. You do it."

I frowned, not attempting to argue with that, since it was the truth.

"It's hard to explain."

"No, it's not."

I sighed, putting down the menu. "You just seem like you have too many morals to do that."

He laughed dryly at the statement. "Oh, Hersheys. Don't compliment me about having too many morals. Don't set me up on some high standard. I don't deserve that."

I disagreed, but couldn't say so because it seems our waiter had come. Or…was it a waitress? I looked up at him and tried not to make a noticeable reaction. The young man looked like he had more makeup on than I did. Eyeliner was visibly ringing his pretty green eyes, and glitter decorated his eyelids. And his shoulder length blonde hair was in pigtails. I was surprised, because I was under the impression that most employee dress codes didn't allow flashy makeup. Maybe they made an exception with this one. Maybe his family owned the place. Who knows?

His face over all very feminine looking. And I couldn't help but notice he had his eyes on Alec. Actually, they were glued.

Alec studied him with a curious expression on his face, and I could see he was doing his best to hide a smile.

"Hello, there. My name is Carl and I'll be your waiter for this evening. But you can just call me Vitamin _C_ for short."

"Vitamin _C_?" I heard myself repeating.

Carl, or _Vitamin C_ rather, turned his attention to me, flashing a gleaming white grin. "Honey, everyone knows a little vitamin _C_ is good for your over all heath and stamina." He winked at Alec, who now had his fist covering his mouth, doing the old fake cough trick. Didn't he know that it was extremely obvious he was trying not to laugh?

Just like that, Vitamin _C_ was looking at me again, only this time his attention was directly on my eyes. Oh crap. My fairy eyes.

"Who did your makeup, sweet pea? It's very creative…" I couldn't tell if he was impressed or if he was making fun of it.

Either way, I looked across the booth at Alec, raising my eyebrows questioningly. He was the artist, after all. His eyes, concealed by contacts, still glinted with pleasure as they studied my makeup. It sent butterflies to the pit of my stomach and a warmth spread all over my body. I was pretty sure my heard skipped a beat or two. I found myself so content, so happy to have him look at me like that. I was on the verge of giddiness, here. Never in my life had I felt this way before towards someone else. Someone who awestruck me with one glance, whose touch on my skin sent spirals of both emotion and lust throughout me, whose smile was a beaming ray of sunlight that I feared if stared at too long, I would go blind.

He was beginning to consume me.

_Just for tonight._

I heard the waiter clear his throat, and I jerked in surprise, realizing that Alec and I had been staring at each other for who knows how long now. Instead of relinquishing the makeup conversation, Vitamin _C_ instead took drink orders. I asked for a glass of water with lemon, and Alec, shockingly, said he wasn't thirsty.

"Well, if you change your mind, give me a holler and I'll be more than pleased to serve you." Vitamin _C _was really laying it on thick with Alec. He smiled saucily and walked off with a swagger, leaving us both staring after him.

"Whoa…he has it bad for you."

That earlier laughter from him came back.

"What?" I asked, not being able to help the smile that rose on my face.

"He just looks like someone I knew." He said between chuckles, shaking his head.

"Oh, yeah? Who?"

"Uh, someone from an old coven."

"…You were in a coven?" I heard the shock in my voice.

Just like that, the mood had switched. I practically felt the invisible wall around him block me out. He shifted in his seat, not saying a word. I took the signal and nodded.

More secrets.

Number three on the list of unspeakable: Alec's old coven.

"So, I have no idea what I'm going to order." I said, looking down at the huge menu in front of me.

He relaxed, and leaned across the table. "A steak. Order it rare."

I had to admit, that didn't sound half bad. As gross as it was, the rarer it was, the more appetizing it sounded. Stupid animalistic cravings.

"You sound like you know this from experience."

He shrugged. "It's what I'd order."

I flipped to the steaks on the menu, scanning my options. Meanwhile, Carl/Vitamin _C_ came back with my water, asking if we were ready to order. I picked a random steak on the menu and made sure to tell him that I wanted it rare. After, of course, he asked Alec what he wanted. To which Alec replied that he wasn't hungry either.

"If you're trying to watch your weight or something, you really don't need to. You're already lean in all the right places." Vitamin _C _commented, scanning over Alec with his eyes. It was obvious what he was thinking about. The same damn thing I had been thinking about for the past four days. Actually, even longer than that. I had to count the two times within the past year that I had seen Alec. Ripping his clothes off was definitely one of the reoccurring ideas in my mind. And that was just the start of it.

I smirked to myself. At least I had seen some of Alec's naked physique.

_Thank you, Alec, for leaving the door open after you took a shower. You were most helpful to creating a realistic image for my fantasies. Hipbone birthmark and all._

"Um…thank you. But I really don't have an appetite right now." Alec was trying to sound polite, bless him. But I could sense the irritation, and the clipped tone in his voice that said, 'You have no chance, dude.'

Vitamin _C_ was way too confident for that, though. He grinned in return, not taking the subtle message at all.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely positive."

"Well…alright, boo. If you come to your senses, just scream for me, kay?" He winked and walked off like he was on the runway. I shook my head in disbelief.

Alec looked taken aback, looking paler than he already was. "Did he tell me to scream for him?"

"That can't be the first time you've heard that, Licorice." I took a drink of my ice water. His eyes found mine, looking amused, and slightly shy. "It also can't be the first time another man has hit on you."

"Well…no, I suppose not." He scratched the back of his neck, which I knew for a face was a nervous habit because it's not as if his skin ever itched. "It's been a while, though."

"Since a man has hit on your or since a woman has hit on you?" I inquired, finding this change in topic more hilarious by the second.

He chuckled, the light reflected off of his gleaming white teeth. "Both," his grin faded into a subtle smile, almost a smirk. "Unless I counted you."

I rolled my eyes, setting down the glass of water and propped my elbows on the table. "You mean I actually count?"

"I never said you did." His voice was playful.

"Well, you brought me up so…I'm thinking you do count me."

His smile grew back, and he shook his head, sitting back in his seat.

"I'll consider it, maybe just this once," he held up his index finger to emphasize the one time deal.

I sighed and then held up a hand, remembering something. "Wait! Nope, I'm not the only horny girl whose hit on you recently."

One of his eyebrows quirked up. "Oh? Who else am I missing?"

"Remember Amber?" I grimaced, not even bothering to mess up her name on purpose this time.

He laughed loudly, groaning as he buried his head into his folded arms on the table. "Are you _still_ pissed about that?" He exclaimed, peeking up above his arms so I could only see his eyes.

I know it was stupid, but I still really had an urge to hunt that chick down and pull her hair out little by little until she resembled Gollum from _Lord of the Rings. _Jealously really was an ugly emotion. Not that I could really admit to him that I was jealous…even if it was obvious.

"No…"

He raised his head, looking unconvinced. "Liar."

"You told her I was your sister, Alec. What do you expect?" I asked, then sighed again. "Can I ask a question that will more than likely lead to even more awkward tension forming between us?"

He pursed his lips. "Well, if you put it that way, then no."

"Too bad, I'm asking anyway. We're _honest_ friends, remember?" I said, quoting him from earlier. He rolled his eyes. "If you uh…um…"

He made a gesture with his hand, telling me to go on. "Yes…?"

"Well…how long have you…er…felt attracted to me?" Why did I make it sound so extremely formal? Why couldn't I have just asked him low long he had wanted me? Either way, he understood my meaning.

"Since we met," he answered, unwavering.

I felt my eyes widen in disbelief. I looked back at the first time we met. His hostility. His insults. The way he had looked upon me as if I were something to be disgusted by. How the hell was that masked desire? He looked entertained by my shock.

"It's true. Like I said, I'm a good liar."

"A little too good…okay, another question?"

"Go ahead."

"Why?"

He looked a little perplexed. "Why, what?"

I fumbled with the butterfly ring on my middle finger. "Why do you even want me? Like you said…I'm pretty much equivalent to sloppy seconds. Damaged goods."

He flinched, literally, a grimace of self deprecation coming over his features. It was like his own words had slapped him right in the face.

"Hersheys…the things I said…were unforgivable. But ever the same…I am sorry. I swear, I never meant-"

"It's fine-"

"No, it's really not." He held up a hand, silencing me. "Just because I have some inner demons and a screwed up life, it doesn't give me the right to be cruel. Even if I was doing it so I could kid myself into thinking I didn't care about you."

Hearing him he cared again was still very hard to comprehend. It was a foreign feeling, knowing there was someone on this planet that cared about you. Someone who wanted to protect you. Someone who thinks about you, is concerned for your safety. Not being alone in general was something I was not accustomed to.

I reached across the table and put my hand over his, the cool surface of his skin coming in contact with mine. "I understand why you did it. I wasn't exactly a ray of sunshine, either. Neither of us were or are ever going to be perfect." I paused, then added for comic relief: "Even if we look damn perfect. Because we do, you know. There are quite a few people here checking us out, besides of course, Vitamin C."

He laughed again. I think I'd lost track of how many times he'd actually laughed tonight. It was amazing.

"That's part of the reason…"

"What?"

"Part of the reason why I'm drawn to you," he went on. "You make me laugh. Before you came stomping into my life in your five inch heels, I can't really remember the last time I laughed."

My heart swelled about five sizes inside my chest, thumping madly. _I_ made him laugh. Just me. Hearing him say it out loud gave me a sense of pride, that I could make him do something that brought him even a briefest moment of happiness.

We are the worst friends ever.

"We really are," he said, and it took me a couple of moments to realize he was agreeing with me. My thoughts.

_Seriously? Can't I have just a moment of inappropriate thoughts to myself for once, Alec? _I thought.

He chuckled, and I let go of him.

"That wasn't inappropriate. That was rated G compared to some of the other things I've heard you thinking."

"I have really got to get that under control." I muttered, feelings mortified.

Just as he was about to say something, Vitamin C appeared before me with my steak.

My mouth watered. It smelled amazing. It came served with French fries and what looked like onion rings.

"Here you go, baby-cakes." He sat it down, and I inhaled again, my mouth filling with more saliva. I guess I was more hungry that I had thought. Even if it wasn't blood.

"Thank you," I said, already reaching for the fork and knife. The flavor of the steak exploded in my mouth, and I had to resist the temptation to pick up the chunk of meat and start eating it like a caveman. I took bite after bite, barely swallowing what I had in my mouth before I took another.

"So, I suppose the strike has at last come to an end?" Alec asked, but I didn't bother looking up at him.

"Shut up," I mumbled, taking a bite out of an onion ring. "Desperate times, you know."

"Why did you completely abandon your human nature?" His tone was curious, not pushy.

I sipped at my water and sat back, realizing I had already ate all of my steak. I wasn't sure how to answer that question.

"Seemed like a good idea at the time, I guess."

"And this was after Jacob…?"

I nodded. The mention of Jacob's name was beginning to be slightly less painful, the more he was mentioned. But just slightly. "Yeah, it was after he left. I was angry, and terrified."

"So you became a nomad."

I blinked. "I wouldn't call myself a nomad, exactly." It's true, I'd never thought of myself as one.

Alec's smile was almost pitying. "Roaming from place to place on your own, hunting where you can."

I frowned.

"I guess that describes me a bit."

"A bit," he agreed. "But you don't have to do that. You don't have to wander the world all by yourself."

I smiled bitterly. "Right, because Adriel is going to be the cure all-"

"I don't want to talk about Ade tonight." He interrupted, his voice surprisingly irritated. I hid a smile. Was he mad I mentioned Adriel at all? Was he having second thoughts about this whole thing, giving me over to him?

"But-"

"Do you want to dance?"

I sat forward, surprised. "Sorry, what was that?"

"I asked if you wanted to dance."

"Um…here?" I said, looking around me. This wasn't one of those restaurants where there was a dance floor. It wasn't _that _fancy. Where did he think we were going to dance? There wasn't any place to. Unless he wanted to go out into the parking lot and break dance or something.

Where was this even coming from?

"Why not?" He sounded so casual about the whole exchange. As if dancing in the middle of a restaurant was completely normal.

"But…we're not allowed." I said stupidly. I was suddenly feeling very nervous. I knew how to dance, true. But I had never danced with _Alec. _The idea made my heart do flip flops and my stomach sink lower in my abdomen.

He leaned across the table, his eyes sharp and mischievous. He was so beautiful.

"I don't care," he whispered, his mouth quirked into a smirk, and in that moment I think I would have done anything to please him. We could dance, we could strip out of all our clothes, we could make out right here on this table with everyone watching.

Okay, that was an exaggeration, but seriously. I was on board. Just to keep that look in his eyes.

We both stood, not stepping far from our table. He slipped his arm gingerly around my waist and to my bare back. I was glad for my choice of dress now. Although, it was him that picked it out. Was this his motive? Get me into a backless dress so he could touch my naked skin whilst dancing in public?

He chuckled, taking my other hand. "No, it wasn't my motive. But it's an added bonus."

I rolled my eyes. "I just can't win, can I? I might as well not even bother talking out loud anymore."

We started dancing. The music wasn't loud, but we could hear it better than anyone else could. It was a soft, instrumental melody.

"Try to stop it, then. Block me out.." His hand shifted on my back, moving an inch lower. I sucked in a breath.

His skin was cold on mine, but it was very pleasant. It reminded me of a time when I was outside, burning up on a summer afternoon, and I had taken an ice cube from my lemonade and ran it down over my collarbones and arms. It had melted within a minute, but that one minute was blissful. That was what it was like when he touched me. It didn't seem to ever last that long, but he felt amazing on my skin. But only this time, I think it was me who was melting.

He sighed deeply, his breath hitting my face. He leaned closer. "You're not trying very hard," he whispered, the sound vibrating my nerves. "I feel like I'm reading you as if you were an open book. Tales of hot afternoons, trailing ice cubes over your skin, watching it melt…I think I like that story."

I gulped. "Quit it.."

"Quit what?"

"Whatever it is your doing. We're….we're…frien-"

"We're way in over our heads, that's what," he interrupted. "I thought I could handle a friendship status. But when I saw you in that dress tonight…I realized I didn't want to. I don't want pretend that I don't feel what I feel. And I don't want you to either."

"That's easier said than done. Because this? This isn't going anywhere, is it?"

He frowned, readying himself to speak. I cut him off before he had a chance.

"Don't answer that. I told myself that tonight I don't want to think about the complications of this whole situation. I'm saving that for tomorrow….agreed?"

His face relaxed some, and he smiled a little. "Agreed."

We danced slowly in silence, and I ignored the strange looks we were getting from onlookers. All I could focus was where he was touching me, and how our bodies seemed to move fluidly together, effortlessly. I let him lead, and sensed what direction he would go, when he would turn me.

I smiled. "You asked earlier what my favorite Beatles song is…"

He eyebrows perked up. "What is it?"

I couldn't believe I was about to do this, but I was. I had never spoken to Alec of how I liked to sing. I hadn't told him that it was a good way of making quick cash. I could sing in a club, bars, anywhere really. I hadn't told him that Jacob use to encourage me to sing more often because he thought I had a really pretty voice. I suppose I did, I guess. It was average anyway.

My sudden silence was causing him to look confused. Ah, success. He didn't read those thoughts. Maybe he only could when I was specifically thinking about _him. _Which was really inconvenient. But at least there might be a loophole.

I cleared my throat nervously, and sang as quietly as possible.

'_There are places I remember _

_All my life, though some have changed _

_Some forever not for better _

_Some have gone and some remain _

_All these places have their moments _

_With lovers and friends I still can recall _

_Some are dead and some are living _

_In my life I've loved them all _

_But of all these friends and lovers _

_There is no one compares with you _

_And these memories lose their meaning _

_When I think of love as something new _

_Though I know I'll never lose affection _

_For people and things that went before _

_I know I'll often stop and think about them _

_In my life I love you more _

_Though I know I'll never lose affection _

_For people and things that went before _

_I know I'll often stop and think about them _

_In my life I love you more'_

Alec's mouth was partially open, his eyes wide with shock. I smiled sheepishly, glancing down at our feet, the peeking back up through my lashes. He had his mouth closed now, but the look of astonishment remained the same.

"What…was that?" He asked, voice mimicking his face.

"My favorite song?" I suggested stupidly.

He shook his head, coming somewhat back into focus. It was as if I had been a siren, lulling him to me with my song, and had put some spell under him. I didn't think my voice was that nice, but he seemed so awestruck. I blushed.

"No, not the _song._ I know that song well, but…" he trailed off. His feet had stopped dancing, and so we just sort of stood there, right in the middle of the restaurant, which curious faces peering at us from their tables. "You never told me you could sing like that. It was beautiful.."

My blush deepened, I'm sure. "It never came up in conversation before."

His pursed his lips in annoyance. That obviously wasn't good enough for him.

"Well, it's come up now," he insisted. "How long have you been singing?"

I shrugged, not expecting an interrogation over the whole ordeal. "Since I was little? I never took any lessons or anything. Just something I thought was fun, I guess."

I had been singing since I was little. I would make up songs, and play them on the keyboard Jacob had bought me. I didn't remember much about how to play the piano, only from what my father taught me. So, naturally, the pieces I composed weren't by any means anything Dad could have done, but it was a way for me to feel connected to him. Just as reading Wuthering Heights always brought me closer to my mom. Reading anything reminded me of her, really. Spending nights, huddled in our little cottage in Forks. Sometimes, I actually read to _her._

Anyway, I would come up with a melody, then make up some silly lyrics to go alongside it. Then, gradually, I sang more that I played. I haven't played the keyboard for several years. The older I got, the more it made me depressed to even go near the keyboard. Even though I had felt closer to my dad, I realized that if the closest I ever got to him was through music, then I really was parent-less.

I locked eyes with Alec, but he had lost the dreamy expression he had moments ago. He looked…distant. Almost haunted. As if someone had just whispered something dreadful into his ear. I stared in confusion.

"Alec, what's wrong?" I asked, touching his shoulder. He blinked, and shook his head, looking like he was shaking off some invisible dust.

"Nothing…come on, let's go sit down," he suggested, leading me back to our table. As we did, I could sense that something wrong was either taking place, or about to. Maybe it was just paranoia. But there was a tightness in my chest, my heart was beating rapidly. I glanced around me, almost feeling as if someone were watching me. I was losing my mind.

Then, I just sort of knew. My whole theory about him only hearing my thoughts when I was thinking about him was wrong. And I should have known better, because earlier this very night, he had heard me think about my parents. He knew something was off, but he didn't push me. And just now, he heard something else. Something, that for some reason, had disturbed him. And that, in turn, disturbed me. Greatly.

He slid into his seat in the booth across from me. His eyes had a series of questions in them. He looked paler, if that were possible.

"Alec, don't lie to me." I said, my voice coming out harsher than intended. "What did you hear?" I demanded.

His eyes slipped away from me and fell on the table. "Just something about your father playing the piano," his voice was tight. His mouth was a thin line. His posture stiff.

"And?" My voice cracked. I looked down at my hands. They were shaking like two leaves. I looked back up. He was still avoiding eye contact. "Look at me…"

He looked up. And then froze. I was startled, until I realized he wasn't even looking at me. He was looking _behind _me. If Alec had a beating heart, it seemed as though his heart just stopped dead in his chest. He didn't seem terrified, but very close to it. His eyes were as big as saucers, the brown contacts almost completely faded. His hands were clenched on the table, his fingers actually intended into he wood. He looked like he was ready to pick up and run. Run to the end of the world, if need be.

"Alec…?" I was scared to turn around. I didn't want to. I didn't want to see whatever it was that made him look like that. I felt a cold yet burning presence behind me, that was for sure. Like a pitcher of liquid nitrogen being spilled down my spine.

I didn't need to turn around. The presence stepped forward, grinning widely. If I didn't know better, I'd say he a strikingly pale, muscular person, coming in to eat.

But I did know better, And it took me a moment or two to place him. But I did. And when I did, I think my heart did indeed stop.

Dark hair. Black, thirsty eyes. Tall. As said before, very muscular. Dressed in casual clothes. But when I looked at him, I saw him in a dark cloak. I saw the same grin he wore now. Cocky, almost playful. But an underling brutality could not be missed by someone who knew what he was capable of.

'_Hello again, Bella. You look good. Immortality suits you. It's too bad. . .'_

I couldn't remember his name. But I knew who he was.

He was a Volturi.

* * *

><p><strong>Writer's Note: Hey, guys...so I'm sure you all thought we had completely abandoned this. In a sense, we have. Writing has kind of been placed on the back burner for now. Life changed for one of us (as for anyone who doesn't know, there are two of us) and things just got put on hold. As for me (Cee), I'm going to be having another surgery more than likely very soon. I have to get busy with school, and all of that jazz.<strong>

**So basically, my lovelies, we have no idea when these chapters will be up. I would understand completely if you guys decided to just not read it anymore. But we're never going to be one of those FF authors that uploads chapters weekly. Not even monthly. It's stupid, but it's the truth. **

**To anyone who still reads, bless you. 3 You have better patience than I would have!  
>All this being said, we hope you like this chapter. And no, the person at the ending is NOT Aro, for anyone who asks. <strong>

**-IITM**


	12. Note

**Hello, readers. I've been putting this off for some time, but I'm sure most of you are wondering if we are ever going to update this story. Sadly, to answer your question, no. The likelihood that LITD is ever finished is very, very slim. This is just due to some very personal things in our lives that have taken place and we really just cannot continue to write together any longer.**

**I can understand whole heartedly that some of you will be upset. But there are so many other Reneslec fanfics on this website these days! I hope you can go and get hooked on one of those. **

**Your reviews and kind words always meant a great deal to us and so I'd like to say on behalf of us both, THANK YOU! You guys made the Reneslec experience that much richer to us. **

**Please, if you're angry, do not send in hurtful or hateful reviews and/or messages. It won't make us update, and it certainly won't help the situation. **

**Again, I am very sorry. Please try and understand that sometimes life just gets in the way of these things. And thank you again for your 4 years of support.**

**Cee of IITM**


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